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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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jubilation Help
  • replies: 3

Hi all just looking for a voice to give me some advice ☺️ I’ve been with my girlfriend for around 1 1/2 years and it started out like you wouldn’t believe it - constant messaging and presents and going out everywhere together it was like a dream had ... View more

Hi all just looking for a voice to give me some advice ☺️ I’ve been with my girlfriend for around 1 1/2 years and it started out like you wouldn’t believe it - constant messaging and presents and going out everywhere together it was like a dream had come true and I wanted to run away with her. She had told me about some mental health issues and she was scared to tell me and do the fact about how greatly I took it and I’ve tried to be as supportive as I can by asking her questions and making sure we have open communication, but not to the point where it is constant and too much. Anyway a few months ago maybe 3/4 is when everything has started going downhill again, it’s like i came along made everything so much better and now my effect has just worn off. She is constantly in this state of up and down - and effects me so much because I could be having a good day then she texts me or spams my phone until I reply and annoys me and then ruins my mood. She recently has been so bad she admitted herself to a psych ward, at first I had no problems with it until I visited her and boom I went into a state of shock and i couldn’t handle it - it was so odd and made me so incredibly uncomfortable being in there and seeing her with these nurses and other people. It has just been so much too handle. the thought of breaking up plagues my mind and saying I love her can be quite hard sometimes, and I feel like argumemts start frequently. On top of all this I’ve met à new girl and i can’t get her out of my head and I’m not sure it’s because I’m losing attraction to my current gf and this new girl has the qualities that I wish she had? I do love her at the end of the day and I’d be a huge mess if I lost her - we are so close and so are our two families but im so lost I’d really appreciate any help

Bunny_blue affair depressed
  • replies: 5

I think I'm slipping into an affair with a narried man online, and I do not know how to stop it or if I want to. I love my husband, but the sparks I feel for this other man has made me dizzy. We have not met but talking about it a lot. now I'm just d... View more

I think I'm slipping into an affair with a narried man online, and I do not know how to stop it or if I want to. I love my husband, but the sparks I feel for this other man has made me dizzy. We have not met but talking about it a lot. now I'm just depressed and anxious and guilty and paranoid but so excited, I don't want to throw away 10 years of marriage for a fling, but I do not think I can resist.

Mrs_Sergeant Literally no way out
  • replies: 6

Stuck in a very unhappy marriage & wish I could turn back 3 years & get out. Married 10 years but 2 years ago we sold a third of our house to my Mother-in-law & lived through the renovation from hell for her to live with us. It has destroyed us finan... View more

Stuck in a very unhappy marriage & wish I could turn back 3 years & get out. Married 10 years but 2 years ago we sold a third of our house to my Mother-in-law & lived through the renovation from hell for her to live with us. It has destroyed us financially & emotionally. Husband has been depressed for years & finally had a breakdown this year & has quit his 20 year career in search of something else. There is literally no way out as we have poured everything into this house. I can't afford to head out on my own and take the two kids with me. I have accepted that this is my reality but just wish he wasn't so nasty & would still support me when I discipline the kids but there is no support or communication when we're under the same roof. Can you imagine how much worse it would be if we weren't living together? We'll have to put on the happy family act over Christmas/New Year as we have a lot happening.

Bluebel My boyfiend is snowing signs of depression and I’m struggling to support him
  • replies: 5

Hi there, This is my first ever post. My partner of almost 4 years has recently been showing signs of depression. He has withdrawn from social activities, not doing the things he usually enjoys (walking the dogs, playing guitar, playing board games, ... View more

Hi there, This is my first ever post. My partner of almost 4 years has recently been showing signs of depression. He has withdrawn from social activities, not doing the things he usually enjoys (walking the dogs, playing guitar, playing board games, etc). A few months ago I encouraged him to stop smoking marijuana which he has done both habitually and casually (on and off) for the last 15 years. I encouraged him to do it with support and seek medical assistance though he didn’t want to as he has “given up” heaps of times on his own without assistance. I have encouraged him to seek counselling or talk to a doctor but he really doesn’t want to. He has opened up to me a little, though it was really difficult getting him to talk. I want to support him however I can, though I’m not sure how helpful I am as I become really upset and I don’t think this would be helpful. I have been feeling lonely as he is distant with me and sometimes I feel like it’s my fault. He has told me it’s got nothing to do with me and he doesn’t know why he’s feeling like this. Im trying really hard to be there for him though sometimes I even feel cranky and annoyed with him (I know I shouldn’t ) and then I feel guilty for feeling like that. I don’t know whether I should talk to him about my feelings also, which I would normally do- because I don’t want to make him feel worse. Thanks in advance for reading this and for any advice or thoughts you might have.

veeman Life falling apart
  • replies: 2

So my story... had 2 kids with my partner of 7 years got married 6 mths later found out she was sexting people whilst I was at work (I work away). Met a new beautiful woman who i thought was the bees knees and vice versa. She also had two kids from p... View more

So my story... had 2 kids with my partner of 7 years got married 6 mths later found out she was sexting people whilst I was at work (I work away). Met a new beautiful woman who i thought was the bees knees and vice versa. She also had two kids from previous relationship. Been together 3 years we have a baby.... then everthing flips on its head now we are separated I have 3 kids too 2 different woman and I just feel like my life has spun out of control. I wa diagnosed with bi polar about 10 years ago. And I take medication. Financially I'm in a hole I only see two of my kids I go crazy at work especially on night shift my head just goes loopy. I see no real way to any happiness... and the only reason I'm still here is cause of the kids.. couldn't do that to them...

lost_101 Boyfriend left me because of my mental illnesses.
  • replies: 6

He said he didn't love me anymore, that he was sick of me feeling the way I do (anxiety and depression). He used to say he would always love me no matter what I go through in regards to my mental illness, but just a few hours ago, after an overnight ... View more

He said he didn't love me anymore, that he was sick of me feeling the way I do (anxiety and depression). He used to say he would always love me no matter what I go through in regards to my mental illness, but just a few hours ago, after an overnight depression and anxiety 'episode' he said he can't deal with it anymore. After 7 months he said he was happy to let it go. He said he's sick of me not communicating when I get in those 'episodes' but I've tried explaining to him it's so hard for me to talk when every second I feel like crying and there are millions of thoughts swimming through my mind and I can't immediately grasp at a coherent one. I'm doing CBT and I'm working on it but after 7 months, he said he hasn't seen good enough progress. I tried to tell him that it may take a while for me to break free from my mental illnesses but he said he doesn't want to deal with it anymore. He said he likes everything being to a standard, and that he can see I can't live up to that. I told him we can both set some standards and work around it together but he didn't want to hear it. He eventually admitted he doesn't love me anymore, and broke up with me telling me to move on. He didn't want to hear anything about us working it out, he just wanted me to go. I'm so lost and broken, I have no idea what to do. Because of my depression and anxiety, I haven't loved anyone before until I met him. I was so scared to and I admit it had taken me a while to even settle into the relationship because I've never known of the feelings and differences that come with one. We've had so many good times together that they've outweighed the bad. But the bad is always me feeling sad or anxious about something and as I'm trying to get over it he yells at me and gets so angry so of course that it makes me feel worse, to which he then gets even angrier. I like to work it out on my own but he didn't let me. Maybe in the end we just didn't fit. But I've introduced him to family and they LOVE him, and that made me really happy. He genuinely made me happy, and even after hearing him say he doesn't love me anymore I STILL love him. I really do hate myself. I don't think anyone will love me again. I was just turning 19 when I met him, he was my first kiss and who I lost my virginity to. If it took me until 19 to find that I may never find it again. I'm not pretty so it's not easy. I'm so scared that my life is just going to spiral down again like it had before I knew him. I am truly lost now.

Magic1 Im unable to get pregnant, partner wants a child outside of our relationship
  • replies: 12

I would really appreciate any feedback regarding my situation. Im unable to get pregnant (age) even with IVF, my partner (14yrs younger with already has one young child from previous relationship) wants to have a son at some stage in the future outsi... View more

I would really appreciate any feedback regarding my situation. Im unable to get pregnant (age) even with IVF, my partner (14yrs younger with already has one young child from previous relationship) wants to have a son at some stage in the future outside of our relationship. He wants a son to carry his name which I can't give, but he wants us to be a family but still be able to conceive a child outside of our relationship without having a relationship with this person who ever she will be. He feels that if I think I cannot allow him to look for another women with whom he can have a child with, our relationship is over however he says he loves me to the moon and back and doesn't want us to separate. He doesn't want a new family, he just want a son (which is never guaranteed) in to this world and hopes he can play some kind of part with his upbringing at some point but has no desire to be under the same roof or share any decision makings. He hopes to meet a women who wants a baby without a father. Is this normal behaviour? I can only see complications and heartbreaks looking at the bigger picture. Im at the verge of having a meltdown since this feels so heavy in my heart, not to mention my emotional level. We only been dating 6 months and we are happy together except with this issue. He has agreed to come along to couple counselling where Im hoping that he will understand better the impact of complications on our relationship, not to mention the entire situation feels insane. Any advise, feedback etc I would love hear besides "run while u can" .. I understand that this situation is very complicated and not logistical. Thank u

Mike05 Feel like i'm setting myself up for a fall but persisting anyway
  • replies: 14

Hi, Long story short I met my wife when I was 22. We were together for 12 years and married for 6 of those. She cheated on me with a co-worker off and on for a few years. I thought everything was good between us and had no idea it was going on. I cou... View more

Hi, Long story short I met my wife when I was 22. We were together for 12 years and married for 6 of those. She cheated on me with a co-worker off and on for a few years. I thought everything was good between us and had no idea it was going on. I couldn't forgive her so we separated. I now have massive trust issues. I currently have a girlfriend but shes 12 years younger. It started out as fun, off and on for a year. I didn't see how we could ever work so we usually walked away from each other after a month or so but ended up coming back to each other. We got pretty attached. We have now been together for a year straight as a couple after a year of a volatile off and on relationship. Problem is my trust issues cause my mind to go into overdrive stressing about her cheating on me. I get nervous when she goes out and i'm not there. Usually cant sleep until she gets home. Nothing I do can calm me. Sometimes I would drink alcohol to pass out. Problem is (apart from relying on alcohol) sometimes it doesn't help me get to sleep and I'll contact her with rude msg and then her being a young girl sends spiteful msgs back to upset me. I drive to and from work everyday thinking stupid scenarios in my head which obviously never eventuate. I know i need to get into a positive mindset but nothing I do helps. On top of that a guy has been constantly messaging my GF trying to get her to sleep with him. She flirts for a bit in the messages then shuts him down. It really hurts and she knows this. She keeps promising to just ignore him but then a few months on it happens again. I love the girl and don't want to break up over flirting text messages. But when is enough, enough...she stopped speaking to him for about 4 months then the other day I busted her replying to a text from him. There was flirting again but the last text was shutting him down. I look at my life from the outside and despite being cheated on by my ex and going through hell for a year I really should have the perfect life. I have an awesome job, great house in a great location and a GF who is always talking about our future together. But these texts are really getting to me. Its really playing on my mental health. I always said after my ex I wasn't going to put up with any more mistreatment. But here I am. Some friends have encouraged me to keep persisting while others have said maybe I should walk away. I love her so much though. I just don't know where I'm at anymore. So much for a long story short!

The_Hulk Mid life crisis and left home
  • replies: 11

My name is Paul. I was living overseas with my wife at the time and I had mid life crisis and left home. I knew I was unhappy, depressed and lonely. For some reason I just didnt contact her or see her for over 2 years and still havent seen her. I can... View more

My name is Paul. I was living overseas with my wife at the time and I had mid life crisis and left home. I knew I was unhappy, depressed and lonely. For some reason I just didnt contact her or see her for over 2 years and still havent seen her. I cant explain my behaviour. We are now divorced. I am back in Australia now and just feel lost and alone and sad. I start a new job shortly and have to find a home where I now live. This may sound odd, but I feel frightened.

GraceyJ Some days are hard but maybe thats just life
  • replies: 1

Today has been one of those days. A day where you are pulled in 100 different directions and feel the pressure to deliver 110% in each space. I have been going since early hours of this morning and only sat down at 11:30pm to give myself 5 minutes. I... View more

Today has been one of those days. A day where you are pulled in 100 different directions and feel the pressure to deliver 110% in each space. I have been going since early hours of this morning and only sat down at 11:30pm to give myself 5 minutes. In order for me to get that time today, i have sacrificed sleep. My day has been filled with work demands, home duties, making time to spend with the kids, the dog, my partner, dealing with family issues and supporting my partner and talk through his recent depression triggers. I understand that sometimes this is just life, life can just be really busy sometimes. My concern is that i have switched off my feelings in order to not feel exhausted or overwhelmed. This was a full on day and I don’t really feel anything. I am needed to be a rock and sometimes that role overtakes everything else.