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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Geoff7 How am i going to survive this?
  • replies: 1

hello all I had some addiction issues with gambling for a couple of years, i haven't gambled since Oct-23. During Oct-23 i took LSL because my brain was fried and had 5 months off from my job. The aim was to recover, work with a counsellor around my ... View more

hello all I had some addiction issues with gambling for a couple of years, i haven't gambled since Oct-23. During Oct-23 i took LSL because my brain was fried and had 5 months off from my job. The aim was to recover, work with a counsellor around my addiction and to re-set. Once i stopped gambling i fell into a severe depression which had a negative effect on my relationship of a decade. I went to see my GP and was prescribed some anti-depressants which initially helped. I eventually went back to work in Mar-24, however after a couple of months i again fell into severe depression and anxiety. This was too much for my partner and she ended up leaving me around this time. I checked myself into a clinic and got intensive help and was diagnosed with MDD and BPD. Me and my ex partner didn't talk for about 4 months but recently reconnected. She doesn't want to get back together and there has been no attempt at reconciliation/counselling etc. Which is painful after 10 years. Just recently she called me to tell me she is moving states. Devastated is an understatement. I love this woman, i always have, and saw a life together. Since then i feel like I've reverted back to how i felt after the initial breakup. I'm dissociated, i feel like i'm not in my body. Like a ghost coasting through life. I'm on countdown to the date she goes. I messaged her to tell her how i feel and would like to reconnect. She just responded by saying, i don't know what to say, i'm leaving. There is already a deep sense of loss and a void, even after 9 months. This news has really brought me close to the edge. I completely blame myself for everything that has happened and can't see a life without this person. I moved from overseas to Australia in 2012 and we met in 2013, she is all i know. What the hell am i going to do?

Wren2 Husband always angry, never happy and becomes quite horrible to our sons
  • replies: 3

Hi , first time poster here so excuse long post. I could go on forever this behaviour has happened on and off our whole relationship. I thought I knew better I’ve been married once before and he was very controlling and emotionally abusive but it see... View more

Hi , first time poster here so excuse long post. I could go on forever this behaviour has happened on and off our whole relationship. I thought I knew better I’ve been married once before and he was very controlling and emotionally abusive but it seems I ended up in a similar situation. Long story short we have been together for 19 years , we did separate once but I gave him another chance and didn’t want to be that on again off again couple. But lately I feel like I’m at my limit. He’s always angry at the world, he never takes responsibility for his mistakes, if I say something hd just yells , he’s horrible to our boys I feel like I’m always on edge just micro managing situations to try and stop him from going off. If I try and talk to him he just says “I’ve fn had enough , I’ll just leave” and makes me feel bad I try and say that’s not what I’m saying that I’m asking what’s going on with him and he always threatens to leave. He has lost two jobs in the last 12 months because of his attitude but it’s always someone else’s fault, but the only common denominator I see is him. I’m sick of feeling like I’m not enough, he’s never happy and says he never will be, jokes about dying, he refuses to get help says it’s just the way he is and if I don’t like it then he will go. Through our relationship it’s always been like this highs and lows when he’s good he’s caring fun when he’s low he’s mean and cold, the lows are getting more often I’ve tried to help but he don’t take it and I just don’t want to live the rest of my life having to feel like this and always worrying if he’s going to blow up at me or our sons or anyone that just says the wrong thing when he’s in one of his moods. I just really needs to say some of this stuff outside. I feel stuck, I know I’m not but it feels that way. Thanks for reading

Guest_01129513 Not enough sex with my husband
  • replies: 2

I feel depressed because my husband is not really interested in having sex with me anymore. I want sex at least once a week. We might have sex once a month if I dress up and insist, however during that time I only get about 3 minutes of sex and I spe... View more

I feel depressed because my husband is not really interested in having sex with me anymore. I want sex at least once a week. We might have sex once a month if I dress up and insist, however during that time I only get about 3 minutes of sex and I spend most of time doing other sexual acts for him. He has some medical issues. I understand he may not want sex as often as before. I really tried to keep myself busy so I can stop feeling horny. Most of times he knows I want sex but he will just ignore me and watch Tv. This has been happening for over two years now, I feel very depressed. I don’t want to separate because I love him, but I feel unhappy in this relationship because he doesn’t seem to care enough about how I feel. what can we do?

Guest_50868964 How to keep the spark alive and help my husband.
  • replies: 4

Hi all, thanks for reading so my husband and I have been married for 16 years this month and been together for 24 years all together. We have 2 beautiful children one who is neurodivergent so life can be challenging and chaotic. In the beginning ours... View more

Hi all, thanks for reading so my husband and I have been married for 16 years this month and been together for 24 years all together. We have 2 beautiful children one who is neurodivergent so life can be challenging and chaotic. In the beginning ours was a love story and we really did fall in love, if we were together that’s all that mattered, we didn’t need big holidays or expensive things just each other. Fast forward to house, marriage, 1 kid then husband changing jobs several times then he decided to have a go at his own business we brought a franchise that (long story short) failed. We had to sell our first home, lots of stress during that time, then I was pregnant with our 2nd child we moved and rented my poor husband had a breakdown at that time and I was stressed and trying to deal with a new born and toddler and a dog that had multiple surgeries. We got through all that together and life moved on, my husband got a job, we moved to another rental. I started back working…My husbands work has always been a stress in our marriage, he’s constantly looking at new jobs stays for a few years or quits then wants to go back to his own business then it all gets hard, we need $$ so then he goes back to a job now he wants to go back to his own business again. Don’t get me wrong he has always worked and tried to provide for the family, but he’s all over the place and if I question where/how/when it’s all going to happen he gets annoyed. He just wants to buy a new Ute and start.. well we have been there and it didn’t work last time. He has also put on a lot of weight, he used to be around 85kg now is 107kg. I’m slim and into running and healthy eating, last year I started at a run club etc and he was getting funny he wasn’t apart of it but then would say he would come to walk but then didn’t. I’ve started to make his lunches etc and get him too loose weight but he just keeps having beers and snacking too much (I feel like all my hard work doing his lunches etc is pointless) plus I hate the drinking (I had an alcoholic mother) and don’t drink. He can get short when drinking too. Plus I see the beers/vodkas each night as a waste of our money and I’m becoming really resentful. I try to talk to him about that too but that just ends in, people don’t think like me and if he’s not good enough I should think about if I want to stay as he enjoys a beer and wont stop. In his defence he did drink when I met him it just wasn’t as much and he has changed over the years with stress. Because of these things I’m not as in love with him as I once was, the spark and physical attraction is still there a bit but not much. I know he’s tired and works hard but I’m just disappointed in his lack of motivation to look after himself and loose weight and be proactive with working out what he is really doing with his business. I’m tired of trying to help him and not sure what to do? I wish he would get his spark back and grab life with both hands. Thanks for reading

Brokenman Big mistakes
  • replies: 2

6 years ago I was working for family business and my father passed away. I was left to run the business on my own not knowing what to do or how to run a business. In this time I turned to gaming apps to cope with everything. I spent a lot of money on... View more

6 years ago I was working for family business and my father passed away. I was left to run the business on my own not knowing what to do or how to run a business. In this time I turned to gaming apps to cope with everything. I spent a lot of money on these apps without even realising the amounts I was spending. Fast forward to now I have been hit with 160k of tax bills from not knowing what to do or the implications of not being compliant. I have ATO threatening to close the business and potentially bankrupt me.I informed my wife of this and she was supportive and wanting to help find a way to refinance our house and get the debt under control. Since then she discovered my spending on the gaming apps and has completely shut down from me and is extremely angry saying she doesn’t know if we can continue after this debt is sorted. She doesn’t want to leave me because it would ruin our 12 year old son but is so angry that she doesn’t see a future. She says she needs space. I have deleted all games and am waiting on banks answer to refinance.I am completely broken, scared of losing everything, embarrassed that I let it get to this I feel alone with everything and could not live a life without my family. I don’t know what to do to save my family and myself

Questo Teachers bullying other teachers
  • replies: 2

Hi, I went through quite an ordeal as a student teacher recently. So bad in fact that I am not able to continue my course. I found the teachers in the system to be extremely toxic and expert bullies as well. Unpleasant to say the least. Has anyone el... View more

Hi, I went through quite an ordeal as a student teacher recently. So bad in fact that I am not able to continue my course. I found the teachers in the system to be extremely toxic and expert bullies as well. Unpleasant to say the least. Has anyone else experienced this kind of behaviour within an educational environment?

Agreen So Lonely, Sexless Marriage
  • replies: 10

My husband and I have been together for 14 years and have 1 child. Over the years I have had some body image issues and have not always been forthcoming in answering his requests for sexual intimacy. Then about 12 to 18 months ago, it is hard to say ... View more

My husband and I have been together for 14 years and have 1 child. Over the years I have had some body image issues and have not always been forthcoming in answering his requests for sexual intimacy. Then about 12 to 18 months ago, it is hard to say exactly when it started, he stopped asking at all, and earlier this year I tried to speak to him about it and it just turned into a big argument. I feel totally alone in my marriage, he does not even attempt basic intimacy anymore, like a kiss good morning or good night, no holding hands, we hardly speak at all, there is no discussion on futures or anything past some of the most basic pleasantries. We both work, and so when I get home, he does not talk to me, doesn’t ask me how my day was, I need to always ask him how his day was and things like that. When he talks to his mates, on the computer, he sounds happy enough but when I go to talk to him it is like I am annoying him or something, it is short sharp responses, to make matters worse even something simple like going for a walk as a family he now avoids. I feel so lonely it keeps me up some nights and I can’t sleep. What should I do?

Lu8Lu8 His dad is ruining my relationship
  • replies: 1

Hi,I love my boyfriend. We’ve been going out almost 4 years and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. The problem I am having is that his dad is almost constantly calling him after work or on his days off to come help him do his work. My... View more

Hi,I love my boyfriend. We’ve been going out almost 4 years and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. The problem I am having is that his dad is almost constantly calling him after work or on his days off to come help him do his work. My boyfriend already works long hours, often works overtime and has two jobs of his own already. I hardly see him and when I do he’s so tired that we often just end up eating dinner together and fall asleep cuddling. Now to the problem. His dad works long days often to 12-1am in transporting and moving livestock. I get that the job needs to be done or he doesn’t get paid. There’s no choice in that matter. But calling my already exhausted boyfriend who already is too tired and has too much of a heart to say no to come help to god knows when in the night just seems unfair.There are no boundaries being set and it has me worried for so many reasons. But when I bring it up with my boyfriend he brushes me off and says he can’t say no as he doesn’t want to cause drama in his already messed up family life. But it’s taking a toll on him. He can’t see the impact it is having on his other work or the turmoil it is putting me through. It is making me wonder whether this relationship is worth staying in (which is just a heartbreaking thought). I need some advice on what to do because this is never going to get better if I don’t.

just-a-Dad Parental alienation.
  • replies: 2

I wonder how many thousands of Dads, who falsely been accused of domestic violence, and have a restraining order on them, as a result who are not allowed to comment their problems on a great forum, like this, because they would breach the order impos... View more

I wonder how many thousands of Dads, who falsely been accused of domestic violence, and have a restraining order on them, as a result who are not allowed to comment their problems on a great forum, like this, because they would breach the order imposed on them for something they didn’t even do.

RMIreland Forever Single
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone! Thank you for reading my post and supporting me in what feels like my life's eternal struggle. I'm 35 and been single almost all of my adult life. There are a number of reasons to explain some of the time I was single - I had very low se... View more

Hi everyone! Thank you for reading my post and supporting me in what feels like my life's eternal struggle. I'm 35 and been single almost all of my adult life. There are a number of reasons to explain some of the time I was single - I had very low self-esteem in my early 20s and I moved around a lot in my mid - late 20s. I was always generally hoping and praying that I would meet someone during these times anyway due to a general lack of self-worth. I settled in one area at 29, and met someone at 31, but the relationship only lasted a year and a half because he didn't want kids or marriage, and wanted an open relationship. I was devastated because I loved him so much and it had taken so long to meet someone I clicked with. Fast-forward 2 years and I am still really struggling with being single. Now I am over the 35 mark, it feels like the idea of having children is slowly falling away and I feel even more under pressure to meet someone than ever, but rarely make it to a second date with people. I am always open to getting to know people more, but they don't seem to be. I only know a few other single people who seem to be meeting partners before me, in fact, it is a sad belief I have, 'Everyone I know meets someone before me.' And none of their relationships are ending, like my one did. I even have a younger friend who has met someone naturally (not on the apps) and now I am filled with the most painful envy every time I think about her getting what I want. It's not a nice way to feel. I have achieved so much in my life - moved abroad by myself, built a life, bought a house, completed a Masters, but all of it feels worthless because I am still single. Even the use of the 'still' shows I feel like my life can't start until I meet someone. And I am doing a lot to open myself up. I am on the apps and go to in-person events. Sadly, most of my interests are more geared towards women and gay men, so that avenue is not as useful as it could be. And now dating itself is causing huge anxiety because I obsess about whether the person will message me back or not, and go into complete spirals if I think they are going to ghost me, or if I notice any slight pattern change in our communication. I'm exhausted by it all. I know I have so much to be thankful for, but feel like if I don't get this one thing, I can never truly be content in life. I go to a psychologist twice a week to help deal with these things too. Thank you so much for listening to me.

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