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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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teenager Estranged, Elderly and Lonely
  • replies: 2

I am 82 and my wife 7 years younger. Prior to last Christmas my wife had a commenced an affair with a guy from our area which he broke off shortly after New Year. On New Years Day my wife told they were going away with each other. We have I feel grow... View more

I am 82 and my wife 7 years younger. Prior to last Christmas my wife had a commenced an affair with a guy from our area which he broke off shortly after New Year. On New Years Day my wife told they were going away with each other. We have I feel grown away from each other somewhat since but I do not want this. I love this lady eeply. We have been married 24 years. A second marriage for both of us. We are both in reasonable health although we have not been sexually active for some 15 years. 4 months ago my wife decided she wanted to trial a separation but spends as much time in our neighbourhood as she does away. I have tried to do everything I could to help her in many ways like taking her to and from hospital for removal and replacing of inplants running her to where she rents. I would and will do anything for her but I am becoming totally exhausted mentally physically and emotionally. I just do not know what to do. We are pensioners relying on welfare. Please does anyone have any suggestions as I am devoid of any ideas. As I said I love my wife dearly and will do anything for her and have done so.

Stumblingon Lost and broken
  • replies: 9

So... about six weeks ago my wife goes on a drug binge and has unprotected sex with some random guy. She had just gotten out of hospital for a course of ect and blamed the ect for her poor choices. After seven weeks away from me and the kids the only... View more

So... about six weeks ago my wife goes on a drug binge and has unprotected sex with some random guy. She had just gotten out of hospital for a course of ect and blamed the ect for her poor choices. After seven weeks away from me and the kids the only thing she missed was getting wasted with her arsehole friends. I told her I want a divorce but she wants to go through counseling and refuses to move out. If it were just me frankly I would be gone but we have two kids. I feel like leaving the marriage is just ripping my kids off. I can’t afford to start over and set up a second home. I’m in my fifties and was looking forward to paying off the mortgage and saving some money to help my kids through uni in a few years (they’re 13 and 15). My only option is really renting something I can’t afford. I don’t have any savings. My wife hasn’t worked in years and we just scrape through week to week on what I earn. But then I feel like staying is setting myself up to be hurt again. This isn’t the first time. It’s the worst time but it seems every couple of years she goes out, gets obliterated and does something selfish and shitty. It’s just been this escalating cycle of betrayal. She swears she loves me but I feel nothing for her any more. There is absolutely no basis for trust. She seems remorseful but it’s so much more than this latest betrayal. Her days are basically spent lying on the couch. I work full time then come home and shopping, cooking, cleaning is all up to me. I’m exhausted but if I don’t do it it doesn’t get done and the kids deserve better. I’m so conflicted. I don’t want to end the marriage only to set the kids up for a life of poverty but how can I stay in this marriage? I can barely look at her without picturing what she did. I’m so sick with anxiety. I got a mental health plan from the gp, I’m just waiting to hear back for an appointment. I guess I’m just hoping to hear from people who’ve been through this sort of crap. Did you stay, did you go? Did you regain any trust, love, emotional connection? What worked out, what do you regret? How did your kids cope? I’m so lost right now.

Ben_L Want to have a romantic connection with someone, just anyone.
  • replies: 21

Hey guys, Im not new to this I've been here a couple of times, i really am looking for ways to connect with others as I'm very lonely and upset at this point. Just for anyones information, i am 16 years old and i am diagnosed with high functioning au... View more

Hey guys, Im not new to this I've been here a couple of times, i really am looking for ways to connect with others as I'm very lonely and upset at this point. Just for anyones information, i am 16 years old and i am diagnosed with high functioning autism, as you may know autism makes things like this a real big struggle and challenge. I just really want someone to notice how hard i try instead of focusing on thee thought that, "he's autistic he doesn't know how i feel." but i really want to know how people feel and develop a connection with them I need help guys. If anyone is willing to help please feel free, id really appreciate it

Mkr6684 I don't know where to start
  • replies: 3

i feel like I'm spiralling out of control, I want to give up on this shit show of a life, I don't know what to do anymore. I know I need therapy but even reaching out to do that I feel is hard to do im a (separated) single mum, still living at home a... View more

i feel like I'm spiralling out of control, I want to give up on this shit show of a life, I don't know what to do anymore. I know I need therapy but even reaching out to do that I feel is hard to do im a (separated) single mum, still living at home at 35. No life no friends no job no motivation no self esteem no sense of worth. I just feel like I'm on auto pilot everything crashed down when I found out Feb 2018, that my partner of 18yrs cheated on me and got her pregnant, the last 2yrs have been a blurry roller coaster on a hamster wheel (cause I feel like I've gotten nowhere), my mum has cancer she was diagnosed when I found out I was pregnant in 2014, my brother has a drug prob (last time 3months ago, I saw him I had to do cpr on him) my family is an extreme episode of Jerry Springer, growing up confused and desensitised to the fact that my mums ex husband (2 older brothers dad) cheated on her with her sister.. And I found my dad after he shot himself when I was 6. Sometimes im great full surprised I'm not more effed up, other times it makes sense why I am where I'm at in my life, like the title states I don't know where to even start. Everything has lead to where I am and it feels like rock bottom.. What a mess

Iamnotthisperson Some sort of painful adjective I couldn't find in the dictionary.
  • replies: 1

Hola Folks, I am writing here cause I am clueless. Long story short, I have been with a narc for about 10 months and now i am just drained. Anxiety is at peak as I stopped talking to her and my wants call her every second. I can stay alone and even w... View more

Hola Folks, I am writing here cause I am clueless. Long story short, I have been with a narc for about 10 months and now i am just drained. Anxiety is at peak as I stopped talking to her and my wants call her every second. I can stay alone and even with distractions I can only offer a fake smile. I am just not this person. I have been into tons of relationships before but never like this. Now about her, let's just say she has got all the qualities a human being shouldn't posses but mind doesn't feel the same way. As you could guess, I took the love bombing too literally. Anyways, now i can't do my usual things. I don't love doing the things I used and i wake up with a very heavy brain but the biggest problem is my mind or body or something else still wants to be with her. Help!!

leabe Loving someone who has a drug problem
  • replies: 3

I don't really know what to do anymore. I am stuck between staying and leaving. I just don't want to hurt him, I don't want him to feel the way I have felt. I have found myself in the darkest place I have ever been, crying on the shower floor, scream... View more

I don't really know what to do anymore. I am stuck between staying and leaving. I just don't want to hurt him, I don't want him to feel the way I have felt. I have found myself in the darkest place I have ever been, crying on the shower floor, screaming my lungs out while driving down lonely roads. Loving someone with a drug addiction is the hardest thing I have ever been faced with. I have experienced heartache in relationships before, but this is different. I have been lied to in the past, used, taken for granted. But this is different. I see through all the lies and I know it's the drugs speaking. I see all the efforts he puts into hiding it and I know it's the actions of the drug. There is so much I know that he does that's because of the drugs. I have tried so many times to speak to him about this. I have tried to be kind and understanding. I have tried to express how it makes me feel and how important our future is to me. But as time as gone by, the more I speak, the more effort he puts into hiding it. It makes me feel like a fool. Well, I know I'm not a fool, but he probably thinks I am. I feel disrespected and my trust in him is crumbling to pieces. He gets offended at the idea that I don't have trust in him. But trust is earned. You don't earn it by pretending to tell the truth. He has crossed so many boundaries - emotionally, financially... so many indiscretions in so many ways. I cannot control the way I am - I still see good in him, but I am tired and sinking into the loneliest depression I have ever felt. I can't ignore it but I pretend to. I really don't know what to anymore.

Matchy69 grieving for someone special i lost
  • replies: 5

I have lost someone special to me through my anxiety.She will never talk to me again and am struggling to come to terms with it.I have just sppent last couple of days in bed crying and regretting what i did.I miss her so much.

I have lost someone special to me through my anxiety.She will never talk to me again and am struggling to come to terms with it.I have just sppent last couple of days in bed crying and regretting what i did.I miss her so much.

Weemary Hi I am lost
  • replies: 3

Hi i am 48 years old and I am married to a man 18 years older than me, we have 2 grown up children and we have been married for nearly 29 years, I am not from Australia ( but am a Australian citizen) I have not been happy with my marriage for a few y... View more

Hi i am 48 years old and I am married to a man 18 years older than me, we have 2 grown up children and we have been married for nearly 29 years, I am not from Australia ( but am a Australian citizen) I have not been happy with my marriage for a few years, my husband has his own business and I am the home maker, I went back to my birth place last year ( where all my family live) I am in Australia with no family, I met up with a x who I have fallen for and this has made me look at my marriage and realise that I am not happy at all, but my husband is telling me that I am ruining his life that he is 66 and will never find a mother women at his age, we have nothing in common and it’s only since meeting up with my x of 30 years that I want to walk away from my marriage, I have been with my husband 28 years we have had our ups and downs and now I feel it’s time for me to live my life, I have been there for my husband and children for 29 years, why do I feel like I am in the wrong for wanting a new life, I do love my husband but I am not in love with him, he keeps telling me I knew he was 18 years older than me but I don’t want to live like a 66 year old, sorry to go on but this is my life am I being selfish x

Merkles Lack of relationships issue
  • replies: 2

Hi guys, not sure how to put this, or if it's worth posting here, I just feel so alone lately. I am 27 and have never been in a relationship before and it's really starting to take it's toll on me. I live alone, all my close friends have partners and... View more

Hi guys, not sure how to put this, or if it's worth posting here, I just feel so alone lately. I am 27 and have never been in a relationship before and it's really starting to take it's toll on me. I live alone, all my close friends have partners and are moving on with their lives. I'm not sure why I struggle so much to find someone. At the start of the year I got close with someone I've known for some time now, we were chatting quite regularly (Mostly daily). I thought for sure it was going to turn into something more. We had a weekend planned away, that I was really excited for, I spoke to her about it and she had forgotten about it? Which really made me feel worthless. I suffer from GAD and I couldn't stop thinking about why she would have forgotten. Since then she hasn't really been close with me, sometimes messages me out of the blue and then leaves me on read for days. I just keep thinking to myself what did I do. This is just one example; I always feel nothing works out for me, even though everyone says how great of a person I am. It's leading me into quite a depressed state as I can't help but envisage a future spent alone, and it's scary. None of this is her fault, I'm sure she has her reasons, who knows, maybe she's found someone better, maybe I was always just an option, anyway the best to her. I can't help but think back on the good times now and I miss them like crazy, my phone can go days without getting a notification that isn't from work. Not sure what I'm looking for posting here, I just think I needed to get this off my chest. Thank you if you read this all.

Jacko93 I’m stuck and confused as the last 2 years of my life have been taken away
  • replies: 3

My girlfriend of 2 years went on holidays with a group of people for a my “friends” 21st birthday, I couldn’t go because of work and asked her 3 times I wasn’t ok with her going without me (I was already getting suss that something was going on betwe... View more

My girlfriend of 2 years went on holidays with a group of people for a my “friends” 21st birthday, I couldn’t go because of work and asked her 3 times I wasn’t ok with her going without me (I was already getting suss that something was going on between them) we couldn’t afford it but she went anyway. When she came home 2 weeks later she broke up with me out of the blue saying she had feelings for this guy who’s birthday it was and she didn’t miss me while she was gone. She’s 27 and we lived together and had a lot of stuff together, trying for kids, had 2 dogs ect. She kicked me out with no warning and didn’t even wait 48 hrs or before I moved out to get in bed with him. She says she didn’t cheat but in my eyes she 100% has emotionally (and probably physically) one half of me still loves her but the other half never wants to speak to her again as she took EVERYTHING from me. I could really use some advice as I’m just taking it day by day at the moment and fell very lost and very confused at the moment. This happened a month ago and I haven’t spoken to her since. I want to reach out to her but I know I have to wait for her to reach out to me(I honestly don’t think she will as she doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong) Thanks for your time and advice