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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Wishful_thinking Sabotaging my own happiness
  • replies: 7

Hello everyone , I've come here to seek the advice of strangers as you guys will be the ones looking in. Here goes!!.. I've been with my partner for almost two years ,his the most perfect Person I've ever met!!. He makes me incredibly happy and in a ... View more

Hello everyone , I've come here to seek the advice of strangers as you guys will be the ones looking in. Here goes!!.. I've been with my partner for almost two years ,his the most perfect Person I've ever met!!. He makes me incredibly happy and in a way His sorta saved me :). My problem is myself that I know ,but I can't for the life of me Stop thinking that he maybe cheating or at least talking to someone Now I know deep down that he would not cheat on me as his already Been through it twice and he got really low I get on so well with his family and he with mine We have already talked about starting a family and getting married And just growing old with each other. I've talked to him about similar things before and we've Already been through the "if you cheat on me it's over" conversation But I just can't get over it.. I sound crazy even while I wrote this ... I no he wouldn't hurt me And there is no way in hell I'll ever leave him. We were both in very difficult places when we first met and his family Has come to me and thanked me for bringing There son back to them. I do have anxiety and some days it's so bad I just want to cry.. I've been hurt in the past with other people So I do have trust issues But I don't want to keep having to get him to reassure me that I'm the one.. His a plumber and his just had on call come back , he gets into this Sorta trance when his on call ,I asked him about it and his told me That when his on call he can't relax and the jobs never really done, that I get .. I also get that his always checking his phone ,but sometimes he messages And he will move away or walk away.. I don't go through his phone and he does t go through mine .however if we ever Asked each other ,we would hand over ours phones with no second though, I kinda don't really know what I'm seeking here , we both work full time jobs We live with each other and have pets. He starts early and finishes early ,I on the other hand Start late and finish sometimes late..I feel bad for him cause his alone for hours while I'm working.. I have low self-esteem and sometimes I feel like he could do better..even though I've told him that and his told me his punching above his weight ... I love this man sooo much and to think about life without him makes me incredibly sad.. I'd do anything for this man ,and I want to fix myself so I can finally relax and just let him love me.. Thanks :)

SammiSam Tips for helping someone deal with anxiety
  • replies: 4

Hi, my sister is dealing with anxiety which seems to come on for no reason that she can work out. I was wondering if anybody has tips for me to help her overcome her anxious tendencies.

Hi, my sister is dealing with anxiety which seems to come on for no reason that she can work out. I was wondering if anybody has tips for me to help her overcome her anxious tendencies.

Jarel I don't know whether to scream or cry
  • replies: 8

So im due to go overseas alone in 7 days for a trip I have been looking forward to because everything at home has fallen apart. My sister is not talking to me and we live in the same house, says when I come but we are to look at selling. My mum has s... View more

So im due to go overseas alone in 7 days for a trip I have been looking forward to because everything at home has fallen apart. My sister is not talking to me and we live in the same house, says when I come but we are to look at selling. My mum has severe depression and on top of that Motor Neurons disease but refuses to seek help and has caused so much unneccesary stress and pain. She lies and manipulates but I cant let her go as she is my mum and she is sick but this has now gotten to stage where I am going to break.. I cannot do this shit anymore. What about me, my sanity! All I wanted to do was go have some fun forget about everything and now this

Karenwill55 Complicated break up
  • replies: 2

My boyfriend and I been together for 12 years. He has major depression all thought out his life I have Bipolar Disorder. I have a 16 years old son Who has depression due to his step dad In the relationship my boyfriend always talked about The girls a... View more

My boyfriend and I been together for 12 years. He has major depression all thought out his life I have Bipolar Disorder. I have a 16 years old son Who has depression due to his step dad In the relationship my boyfriend always talked about The girls at his work wanting to go to there place And stay the night. Plus he would always looked at Porn the type of porn he looks at is disgusting His very attached to his oldest sister which they are Very close I couldn't stand. My boyfriend is 57 and I'm 38. He sees his sister as a mother which I still don't like I was always very jealous of there bond. About a month Ago we broke up well I told him we are breaking up He told his sister like always tells her everything about our fights She is very upset with me. She blames me for everything Its been a month and I still have his furniture, his mothers engagement Ring and wedding ring, his mothers items. His mother past away 7 years ago. He keeps coming over all the time. My son sees him as his dad My boyfriend isn't his real dad of course. I couldn't stand it any longer Due to the fact what he had done. I still love him. I drive him to his appointments to See his psychiatrist that's 1 hour away every fortnight. He still wants me to bake him cakes and biscuits Plus have him over once a fortnight for dinner which I wanted to do. I take him out once a month. Does this sound like a break up to you. I don't know what it is. Very confusing. I have tried to talk to him but he tells me not to Stress him out and that he doesn't want to talk about it.

Coally I haven't had a friend in almost a decade
  • replies: 3

Hi Reader, I am in my early twenties and haven't had a friend in almost 10 years. I am very familiar with loneliness and have had my fair share of it. These days I don't feel loneliness too much, I have accepted that I may live the rest of my life wi... View more

Hi Reader, I am in my early twenties and haven't had a friend in almost 10 years. I am very familiar with loneliness and have had my fair share of it. These days I don't feel loneliness too much, I have accepted that I may live the rest of my life without a friend. Acquaintances are all I have ever made for the last few years. I would like to think there is at least one person in the world I would be able to create a lasting connection with. I'd like to make one genuine friend in the next few years or so but I don't know where to start. It feels like people have already created their friendship circles and left no place vacant. I find it incredibly hard to trust people, even my family. The closest thing I have to a friend is myself, any issues I have ever had has been left to my little brain, but I like the idea of having someone to talk to every now and then. I don't stay anywhere longer than I need to be, after work or study I just head home and either study more or play video games which keep me occupied until the next day. I am neither happy or sad, I don't know how else to describe the feeling I have the majority of the time. I'd like to know if there is anyone who can relate, and possibly have advice on making a friend. Thanks for reading

anonymous8038 Attention seeking boyfriend, help
  • replies: 5

My long term boyfriend has problems with other women. It started with him wanting to be with and chasing another taken girl while we were together, he ended that after her boyfriend found out. He has always gotten secret attention from other girls on... View more

My long term boyfriend has problems with other women. It started with him wanting to be with and chasing another taken girl while we were together, he ended that after her boyfriend found out. He has always gotten secret attention from other girls on social media, like Snapchat and dms on facebook and Instagram. He has stopped now because I told him that he can have the attention from them, but he can’t have me as well. Now it is more in person. He always tries to make eye contact with girls to get their attention and shows off a lot when there are other girls around. He acts super flirty. He doesn’t see it like that but many of my friends have commented on the fact that they’ve noticed it too and that he has flirted with them as well, they feel extremely uncomfortable about it. He is still doing this to most girls that he sees, whether I am with him or not. My self esteem is at the lowest it’s ever been and I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m not good enough. How do I help him? How do I help myself? What should I do in this situation? Please help any advice would be really appreciated

kek Housemate is making me feel mean towards her and I don't like how I react around her
  • replies: 3

Hi, I have a housemate who is frustrating to be around and I find myself getting really passive aggressive towards her. I don't like how I react to her and she makes me feel like a horrible person because I'm so mean to her and it really gets me down... View more

Hi, I have a housemate who is frustrating to be around and I find myself getting really passive aggressive towards her. I don't like how I react to her and she makes me feel like a horrible person because I'm so mean to her and it really gets me down. I'm not sure what it is about her that brings this out in me. I want to go home to relax but I find myself getting more tense when she is home. I have been living with her for almost 2 years now. I have a FIFO job so I'm not always at home. Over the past two years I have had two other housemates come and go. They have said independently and without any prompting from me that they feel like they are being mean to her and don't like how they respond. So I don't think that I am 100% the problem in this relationship. She's been bullied most of her life from what she said and it sounds like her family is not very supportive either because she says they constantly cut her down. I can see the growth in her since she's moved in and she is a lot easier to live with now but it's still hard and draining. She thinks everyone is always cutting her down and judging her. I can't explain it and I feel horrible saying it but it is so easy to do. She is very reliant on other people opinion and doesn't seem to help herself. I am really struggling at work and desperately need to quit my job and have a career change for my own mental health. But to do that I need to rent out my other spare room to pay the mortgage. Right now my 2nd housemate is planning on moving out because she can't live with her anymore. It's making for a very tense household. I'm not sure how to approach her and ask her to leave. She will take it really personally and will be devastated, thinking no one likes her. She was a friend (not super close) before she moved in so will be really hurt and I will continue to see her afterwards in my friendship group. She will also probably move back in with her parents which will not help her self esteem at all and I don't want to be responsible for that. I feel like I can't kick her out because I'm the mean one not her. But my other friends can't live with her so am I justified in wanting her to leave? How do I ask her to leave? She will know it's because I don't want to be around her because I'm not going to ask the other housemate to leave. I feel horrible about it and it is making me feel sick. I really need to quit my job but I can't do it while she is living with me. Any advice?

Shockwave Could somebody please give me a name for this kind of person.
  • replies: 8

Often complains they are not being treated with respect or that others are rude to them. Will fly off the handle at the most minor of problems, or jump down another's throat when asked a basic question as if to convey a message to the effect of "don'... View more

Often complains they are not being treated with respect or that others are rude to them. Will fly off the handle at the most minor of problems, or jump down another's throat when asked a basic question as if to convey a message to the effect of "don't disturb me" Even if a problem is an accident (like, for example, dropping a dinner plate on the kitchen floor and breaking it) the person will be annoyed and make a fuss as if you dropped it on purpose. Not making an effort to get on with their partners family and/ or friends to the point they will not attend important family events and you end up having to go alone. Will run off after a disagreement and not talk to their partner , for sometimes for up to a week or more !. When asked are you ok, their response is usually "I'm fine, I just need my space" When told about an issue you're facing with them, rather than take it on board, they will almost always come back with a similar thing that you've done to them. Like they have a pressing need to get even rather than deal with the issue raised. Complains that you have a compulsive obsessive disorder for a certain life activity yet they also do it, probably more often than you do . For example, wife complains to husband that he is on his smart phone far too often but wife is the same and will often go to the extreme of picking up her phone and writing a text message while in the middle of eating a meal at a restaurant.

missmyman My man is depressed and has stopped communication
  • replies: 11

I've been seeing the most incredible man. We have plans for him to move in with my kids & I. He had depression in the past and is on medication. He got 2 serious illnesses within 3 weeks and I suspect the heavy medication to help him stopped the anti... View more

I've been seeing the most incredible man. We have plans for him to move in with my kids & I. He had depression in the past and is on medication. He got 2 serious illnesses within 3 weeks and I suspect the heavy medication to help him stopped the antidepressants being helpful with his depression. His messages and contact started to lesson. He became silent and unresponsive for 2 weeks. He had asked me to please not stress that we are ok & he loves me. I continued to gently message him every few days, letting him know I'm here, I love him, I'm going nowhere. He's been cheated on by previous partners. After 2 weeks he sent me a message saying he missed me too, he was seeking professional help, my messages had helped him and he was sorry, that he hoped to see me the next weekend. I haven't heard from him since, it's been 2 & 1/2 weeks. I don't think he will self harm, I just think he's dealing with this the best he can (by himself and seeking professional treatment - which I'm grateful he does). My question is, I don't want to harass him, but, I don't want him to feel abandoned either. I love & miss him so much and there's been no indication he wants to break up, just I guess he needs to do this alone. I've been reaching out between every 2-4 days, I mainly text, but, did call & leave a voicemail & also sent him a song. Those who shut down and throw themselves into work, how long do you think he's likely to take to start responding to me again? He lives alone & his family and friends are interstate, we are over an hour apart from each other & I don't want to just turn up on his doorstep & freak him out. I have mild anxiety and the drop in communication is hard for me as I just want to be there for him & help. If you are someone who pushes away those you love, do you appreciate messages of love & support, should I expect he will eventually find his way back to me?

Aisha181 Depressed partner needs space/broke up with me?!
  • replies: 1

I don’t know what to do. We are both 29 and been together for over a year. I thought we were so happy together but over the last two months we have had one minor issue which I couldn’t seem to resolve with him. Every time I tried to bring it up he wo... View more

I don’t know what to do. We are both 29 and been together for over a year. I thought we were so happy together but over the last two months we have had one minor issue which I couldn’t seem to resolve with him. Every time I tried to bring it up he would shut down and cry/hyperventilate/get angry. Then I would end up comforting him but he wouldn’t tell me a thing. He had been talking about the future with me and giving me a key to his place just a week before he ended it. Then two nights before we were supposed to go away, he did something that crossed my boundaries(so obviously) We had our first proper fight. The next night he came over a blubbering mess and pretty much ended it. He was digging for problems and making out like I was this person that I’m not. He said he can’t keep seeing a psych(first time I’d heard about it) he could barely stand he was that upset. He ended up running out on me as he couldn’t handle it. I was so distraught I was left wailing in the corridor of my apartment. He came over last night for a chat. He looked terrible. He hugged me so tight. He said he knows I love him to bits. I said I want to do it with you. I want to be RIGHT beside you. I held his hand and he pushed his face into mine. Hes had it for over 15 yrs. He refuses medication because it only masks the problem?! I guess something really dark has happened to him when he was young. He won’t talk about it though. He’s such a private person and only one person knows about how much he suffers. He’s been hiding it for YEARS. He tried to explain it to me.. that he can’t see colours.. all he sees is darkness. He can barely get himself out of bed to eat breakfast. He said he needs a break from everything. I understood him. But I could tell he didn’t want to tell me where I stood. I got up and asked if he needed space from me and he nodded. He told me he had been sleeping on my pillow all week. I asked why and he said he didn’t know. I asked him if he still loved me. He said he thinks he does but he doesn’t know because he can’t feel anything. He just cried and I hugged him and said he has way too much to live for. He was so sad and looked so hopeless. We hugged and cried for about 10 minutes. I am so broken for him. I know deep down he loves me dearly. I just know. It worries me that no one knows and he’s determined to keep it to himself. I told him I don’t ever want to lose him from my life and that I am here. I’ll give him space but am I supposed to check in with him?