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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Bluebell1 Is feeling numb a part of depression?
  • replies: 4

I’ve been recently diagnosed with depression but I think I’ve had it for a few years due to several bad relationships and family circumstances i have been with my current partner for 14months and I just feel numb I don’t have much love towards him at... View more

I’ve been recently diagnosed with depression but I think I’ve had it for a few years due to several bad relationships and family circumstances i have been with my current partner for 14months and I just feel numb I don’t have much love towards him at all I don’t get excited about things or miss him and I get angry easily could this be the depression?

Cbk Want to separate from my husband
  • replies: 4

Hi,I want to separate from my husband. I feel he is floundering and not supporting me or our family but thinks everything is just fine. We are in extreme financial distress- he lost his job in April and he makes little effort to find work other than ... View more

Hi,I want to separate from my husband. I feel he is floundering and not supporting me or our family but thinks everything is just fine. We are in extreme financial distress- he lost his job in April and he makes little effort to find work other than his first choice of jobs. He’s had a few interviews and had no luck. He said he would look at other types of work like cleaning but has done nothing. This has happened before and this is why we have so much debt. All our bills are in my name and it affects my credit rating as we are unable to pay them. He is irresponsible with money. He spent over $1000 this week when I was away for work. He won’t give any explanation for it. He does little to help at home. I work full time yet do all the housework, shopping and cooking and take our child to school Rachel day while he sleeps in. He has had depression and has chronic back pain. We are both recovering alcoholics for many years. I attend 12 step meetings he no longer does and won’t. It’s a shame as he would receive so much support. He won’t communicate like an adult with me. I’ve had enough. I want him to leave but we have no money and he has nowhere to go. What do I do to get him to realise I’m done and I want him to leave? Where could he even go? We have no family where we live and he has no close friends he could stay with.

Mummaofboys Seperated and Lost
  • replies: 4

Hi, my husband and I seperated about 8 months ago, originally just for a break as we were fighting a lot. With have 3 small boys aged between 7 & 2. While he has not been living here with have still been spending lots of time together as a family and... View more

Hi, my husband and I seperated about 8 months ago, originally just for a break as we were fighting a lot. With have 3 small boys aged between 7 & 2. While he has not been living here with have still been spending lots of time together as a family and he comes over most afternoons for a few hours to spend with the kids. We never really discussed what was happening with us as we both just needed the space. But a about a month ago he told me that just wants us to be friends now and he is going to start seeing other people. This has left me completely lost and feeling as though I need to fight to try and get my family back together. I still love him and especially want us to be a family again. I have been quiet emotional and he just tells me to get over it. Some days he will say that he doesn’t want me in his life anymore at all and others he will ring me multiple times to talk about his day and still spends time with us together but only when it suits him. I guess I just don’t know if I should keep holding on and trying to get him back or to let him go. And if I should let him go, how?? Thank you for reading.

Agent79 Issues with single life, feel time is running out.
  • replies: 2

I am a 23 year old man with no experience in the dating game. I want to outline some things which I feel are making me worry that time is running out. -I am currently unemployed but studying Business at uni, I feel the reason I am holding back is bec... View more

I am a 23 year old man with no experience in the dating game. I want to outline some things which I feel are making me worry that time is running out. -I am currently unemployed but studying Business at uni, I feel the reason I am holding back is because I would prefer to be employed before I start finding someone. To me, if I meet a woman and she asks what I do for a living, saying what I am currently doing is a massive turn-off. -I am on the heavy side but am working on improving my physical health. The problem is, it is a long road to go, but I refuse to quit. - Dating sites are terrible to start conversations. You can have the best funny pick-up lines in the world but the response is "hahaha" This post may look very "incel"-like, but I am certain I am not one. I know that I am the chosen one to fix all of my issues and it is all up to me to fix them. Sadly, I feel that there is a cut off time for dating, "if you are still single by the time you are 25, buy some Phillippino mail order bride you miserable tool." Is there any clear indication to know that you are making progress to get yourself noticed by the ladies or do you just go with cheapest option?

teenager Estranged, Elderly and Lonely
  • replies: 2

I am 82 and my wife 7 years younger. Prior to last Christmas my wife had a commenced an affair with a guy from our area which he broke off shortly after New Year. On New Years Day my wife told they were going away with each other. We have I feel grow... View more

I am 82 and my wife 7 years younger. Prior to last Christmas my wife had a commenced an affair with a guy from our area which he broke off shortly after New Year. On New Years Day my wife told they were going away with each other. We have I feel grown away from each other somewhat since but I do not want this. I love this lady eeply. We have been married 24 years. A second marriage for both of us. We are both in reasonable health although we have not been sexually active for some 15 years. 4 months ago my wife decided she wanted to trial a separation but spends as much time in our neighbourhood as she does away. I have tried to do everything I could to help her in many ways like taking her to and from hospital for removal and replacing of inplants running her to where she rents. I would and will do anything for her but I am becoming totally exhausted mentally physically and emotionally. I just do not know what to do. We are pensioners relying on welfare. Please does anyone have any suggestions as I am devoid of any ideas. As I said I love my wife dearly and will do anything for her and have done so.

Stumblingon Lost and broken
  • replies: 9

So... about six weeks ago my wife goes on a drug binge and has unprotected sex with some random guy. She had just gotten out of hospital for a course of ect and blamed the ect for her poor choices. After seven weeks away from me and the kids the only... View more

So... about six weeks ago my wife goes on a drug binge and has unprotected sex with some random guy. She had just gotten out of hospital for a course of ect and blamed the ect for her poor choices. After seven weeks away from me and the kids the only thing she missed was getting wasted with her arsehole friends. I told her I want a divorce but she wants to go through counseling and refuses to move out. If it were just me frankly I would be gone but we have two kids. I feel like leaving the marriage is just ripping my kids off. I can’t afford to start over and set up a second home. I’m in my fifties and was looking forward to paying off the mortgage and saving some money to help my kids through uni in a few years (they’re 13 and 15). My only option is really renting something I can’t afford. I don’t have any savings. My wife hasn’t worked in years and we just scrape through week to week on what I earn. But then I feel like staying is setting myself up to be hurt again. This isn’t the first time. It’s the worst time but it seems every couple of years she goes out, gets obliterated and does something selfish and shitty. It’s just been this escalating cycle of betrayal. She swears she loves me but I feel nothing for her any more. There is absolutely no basis for trust. She seems remorseful but it’s so much more than this latest betrayal. Her days are basically spent lying on the couch. I work full time then come home and shopping, cooking, cleaning is all up to me. I’m exhausted but if I don’t do it it doesn’t get done and the kids deserve better. I’m so conflicted. I don’t want to end the marriage only to set the kids up for a life of poverty but how can I stay in this marriage? I can barely look at her without picturing what she did. I’m so sick with anxiety. I got a mental health plan from the gp, I’m just waiting to hear back for an appointment. I guess I’m just hoping to hear from people who’ve been through this sort of crap. Did you stay, did you go? Did you regain any trust, love, emotional connection? What worked out, what do you regret? How did your kids cope? I’m so lost right now.

Ben_L Want to have a romantic connection with someone, just anyone.
  • replies: 21

Hey guys, Im not new to this I've been here a couple of times, i really am looking for ways to connect with others as I'm very lonely and upset at this point. Just for anyones information, i am 16 years old and i am diagnosed with high functioning au... View more

Hey guys, Im not new to this I've been here a couple of times, i really am looking for ways to connect with others as I'm very lonely and upset at this point. Just for anyones information, i am 16 years old and i am diagnosed with high functioning autism, as you may know autism makes things like this a real big struggle and challenge. I just really want someone to notice how hard i try instead of focusing on thee thought that, "he's autistic he doesn't know how i feel." but i really want to know how people feel and develop a connection with them I need help guys. If anyone is willing to help please feel free, id really appreciate it

Mkr6684 I don't know where to start
  • replies: 3

i feel like I'm spiralling out of control, I want to give up on this shit show of a life, I don't know what to do anymore. I know I need therapy but even reaching out to do that I feel is hard to do im a (separated) single mum, still living at home a... View more

i feel like I'm spiralling out of control, I want to give up on this shit show of a life, I don't know what to do anymore. I know I need therapy but even reaching out to do that I feel is hard to do im a (separated) single mum, still living at home at 35. No life no friends no job no motivation no self esteem no sense of worth. I just feel like I'm on auto pilot everything crashed down when I found out Feb 2018, that my partner of 18yrs cheated on me and got her pregnant, the last 2yrs have been a blurry roller coaster on a hamster wheel (cause I feel like I've gotten nowhere), my mum has cancer she was diagnosed when I found out I was pregnant in 2014, my brother has a drug prob (last time 3months ago, I saw him I had to do cpr on him) my family is an extreme episode of Jerry Springer, growing up confused and desensitised to the fact that my mums ex husband (2 older brothers dad) cheated on her with her sister.. And I found my dad after he shot himself when I was 6. Sometimes im great full surprised I'm not more effed up, other times it makes sense why I am where I'm at in my life, like the title states I don't know where to even start. Everything has lead to where I am and it feels like rock bottom.. What a mess

Iamnotthisperson Some sort of painful adjective I couldn't find in the dictionary.
  • replies: 1

Hola Folks, I am writing here cause I am clueless. Long story short, I have been with a narc for about 10 months and now i am just drained. Anxiety is at peak as I stopped talking to her and my wants call her every second. I can stay alone and even w... View more

Hola Folks, I am writing here cause I am clueless. Long story short, I have been with a narc for about 10 months and now i am just drained. Anxiety is at peak as I stopped talking to her and my wants call her every second. I can stay alone and even with distractions I can only offer a fake smile. I am just not this person. I have been into tons of relationships before but never like this. Now about her, let's just say she has got all the qualities a human being shouldn't posses but mind doesn't feel the same way. As you could guess, I took the love bombing too literally. Anyways, now i can't do my usual things. I don't love doing the things I used and i wake up with a very heavy brain but the biggest problem is my mind or body or something else still wants to be with her. Help!!

leabe Loving someone who has a drug problem
  • replies: 3

I don't really know what to do anymore. I am stuck between staying and leaving. I just don't want to hurt him, I don't want him to feel the way I have felt. I have found myself in the darkest place I have ever been, crying on the shower floor, scream... View more

I don't really know what to do anymore. I am stuck between staying and leaving. I just don't want to hurt him, I don't want him to feel the way I have felt. I have found myself in the darkest place I have ever been, crying on the shower floor, screaming my lungs out while driving down lonely roads. Loving someone with a drug addiction is the hardest thing I have ever been faced with. I have experienced heartache in relationships before, but this is different. I have been lied to in the past, used, taken for granted. But this is different. I see through all the lies and I know it's the drugs speaking. I see all the efforts he puts into hiding it and I know it's the actions of the drug. There is so much I know that he does that's because of the drugs. I have tried so many times to speak to him about this. I have tried to be kind and understanding. I have tried to express how it makes me feel and how important our future is to me. But as time as gone by, the more I speak, the more effort he puts into hiding it. It makes me feel like a fool. Well, I know I'm not a fool, but he probably thinks I am. I feel disrespected and my trust in him is crumbling to pieces. He gets offended at the idea that I don't have trust in him. But trust is earned. You don't earn it by pretending to tell the truth. He has crossed so many boundaries - emotionally, financially... so many indiscretions in so many ways. I cannot control the way I am - I still see good in him, but I am tired and sinking into the loneliest depression I have ever felt. I can't ignore it but I pretend to. I really don't know what to anymore.