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Hi I am lost

Community Member


i am 48 years old and I am married to a man 18 years older than me, we have 2 grown up children and we have been married for nearly 29 years, I am not from Australia ( but am a Australian citizen) I have not been happy with my marriage for a few years, my husband has his own business and I am the home maker, I went back to my birth place last year ( where all my family live) I am in Australia with no family, I met up with a x who I have fallen for and this has made me look at my marriage and realise that I am not happy at all, but my husband is telling me that I am ruining his life that he is 66 and will never find a mother women at his age, we have nothing in common and it’s only since meeting up with my x of 30 years that I want to walk away from my marriage, I have been with my husband 28 years we have had our ups and downs and now I feel it’s time for me to live my life, I have been there for my husband and children for 29 years, why do I feel like I am in the wrong for wanting a new life, I do love my husband but I am not in love with him, he keeps telling me I knew he was 18 years older than me but I don’t want to live like a 66 year old,

sorry to go on but this is my life

am I being selfish x

3 Replies 3

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Weemary, welcome to the forums and thanks for posting your comment.

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Weemary, sorry about my post for some reason it was posted before I did anything.

I know from experience that long marriages do change, our interests, work ethics and the ability to do the work we once were able to do changes, we change friends many times so our relationship does alter as well.

The decision to stay in a stale marriage or break away from it depends on the situation.

I'll post this off so you know you have our attention.

best wishes.


Community Member

Hello Weemary.

You have explained your situation well and you have our empathy. A couple of things interest me. Before your trip home and meeting your EX, were you unhappy and considering ending your marriage?

Secondly, you write that you have “fallen for” your old flame. Are you intending to start a new life with him? If so, I would advise caution. It’s so easy to get excited about a new romance especially if you are in a stale marriage. Sometimes the anticipation of excitement away from your humdrum existence can impair your judgement.

Without more information it is difficult to offer you more counsel and support. Please reply if you need more. Good luck.