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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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JennyYanna My husband cheated on me for prostitute
  • replies: 2

2 days ago i found out my husband cheated on me, he often goes to brothel for 2 years, can say everyweek. I feel broken when found out this truth. We have been in relationship for 7years and have a 3yo daughter, we just married for 7months. We dont h... View more

2 days ago i found out my husband cheated on me, he often goes to brothel for 2 years, can say everyweek. I feel broken when found out this truth. We have been in relationship for 7years and have a 3yo daughter, we just married for 7months. We dont have any sex or intimacy since i was pregnant, so could say 4yrs. Also, my husband is a veteran, he has PTSD and broken for 5yrs. He is diagnosed with sexual disfunction (according to the Drs), that was a reason i thought he didnt wanna have sex bc of depression and anxiety medication he has been. He was inpatient in Hospital 2 times to address alcohol and gambling problem, plus PTSD....He used to tell me that he has no interest in sex bc of his mental health problem and medication he taken. That was the only reason i trust on him not cheating on me. 1 year ago, i also found out that he went to brothel for prostitutes but he said that he took his friends there, not him. And i beleive on him. I dont know what to do now, i feel so hurt and pain, i wanna leave as its too much pain for me. But thinking abt my daughter, i cant. I cant put on her what my husband has done to me as its not fair. She loves his dad very much, i cant think abt separate her with her dad, but i cant think abt stay to experience my pain everyday seeing him. I just feel stuck, no way to go. Why he cheated on me for prostitutes? Why he told me that he has been sexual disfunction but still going to brothel? So is this my fault? since i found out, i move into another room and live with my daughter, but still in the same house and i told him dont talk to me unless he wants to discuss abt separation and child custody. We havent talked abt what happened, i want to know why he cheated on me but i feel so painful to listen to. what should i do? Move on to a separation or give him a chance bc of my daughter? I know its up to me to decide but im just empty now to decide anything, i dont want my decision hurt my daughter, otherwise i will live a regret life bc of the affects on her. I should live the life for myself or for my daughter? Please give me advise, im totally broken.

Bgcg Removing all contact - best strategy?
  • replies: 3

Hi all, Long story short, 12-15 months ago my partner ended our relationship of 5.5 years after she had a loss in her family, it was unexpected and nothing to do with 'us' as such. Today I finally decided that it had been enough time of waking up and... View more

Hi all, Long story short, 12-15 months ago my partner ended our relationship of 5.5 years after she had a loss in her family, it was unexpected and nothing to do with 'us' as such. Today I finally decided that it had been enough time of waking up and thinking about it, so I have made the step to remove all contact from her. For those who have had similar experiences, it feels like we broke up yesterday all of a sudden again. Was this the same for you? any strategies for now taking that next step?. If it makes it easier, I found it shes in another relationship and has been for 6 months *face palm*, though I still cant get her out of my mind. Kind regards,

Shyone Confused and alone
  • replies: 16

Hi, First time posting. I don't know why I am doing this, posting here because my mind is all over the place and it isn't going to come out clearly. The last 3ish weeks my husband of 25yrs (been together 29) has been sleeping in our van in our back y... View more

Hi, First time posting. I don't know why I am doing this, posting here because my mind is all over the place and it isn't going to come out clearly. The last 3ish weeks my husband of 25yrs (been together 29) has been sleeping in our van in our back yard. When I ask what is going on and why, in messages he tells me he is done and that we have been drifting apart and isn't sure if he wants to try anymore because he is empty inside, tired, sore and wants to be alone to sort himself out but then tells me if he really wanted to leave he would have and not stay in our van. I just wish I knew the truth of what has happened as I don't s to lose him. I am having trouble giving him space because I just want to be with him and sort this out. I have taken leave from my job as i wasn't coping or able to concentrate. We have 2 children. He comes in everyday, has coffee and dinner with us. I just don't know how much longer I can do this, it hurts so much. I am not allowed to cry because he can't handle it. We have a mortgage together and neither one of us can financially afford to carry it on our own. I have been looking at rentals to move out alone (disappear) but then that will distroy any chance of fixing things if we can. I don't have anyone to talk too. I don't have family or friends just him and our kids. I feel so alone, confused, lost and any other emotion possible at the moment with nowhere to turn. If it wasn't for our kids I probably wouldn't be here now. Like all relationships we have had our ups and downs. I suffer depression and anxiety and I think he does too, just won't get diagnosed. I do have trust issues as well so my insecurities are hightened at the moment too. Thanks for letting me babble if you got to the end.

Am123 No sex in long term relationship
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm writing because I'm in a long term relationship ( 3 years ) and we don't have much sex anymore. It has been at least 3 months since the last time. We are both 25 and live together. At the start of our relationship, we used to do it multiple t... View more

Hi, I'm writing because I'm in a long term relationship ( 3 years ) and we don't have much sex anymore. It has been at least 3 months since the last time. We are both 25 and live together. At the start of our relationship, we used to do it multiple times a week, then it slowly went down to what it is now. I have brought up the topic with him, asking if there was an issue, what was the reason he didn't want to have sex as often anymore but the conversation never ends well and he always gets annoyed. He has said that he doesn't need to have that much sex, and he is fine like this. But I am not even asking for that much sex, just to meet me half way. The last time we had this conversation he said: "if it's so important to you then if you want just leave". I just don't know how to talk to him about it, without him getting mad. He never seems to see my point. I do not know what to do. I know he loves me and all, but I do not feel wanted, I do not feel 'sexy' anymore around him, it just feels like he doesn't care anymore.

Busymum I feel so angry right now......I don't know where its coming from.....
  • replies: 7

The last few weeks have been very difficult. My 15 year old son decided without communication that he is pretty much moving to his Dads. He is gradually moving more and more things to his Dads. He has never lived with his Dad, I've been the sole pare... View more

The last few weeks have been very difficult. My 15 year old son decided without communication that he is pretty much moving to his Dads. He is gradually moving more and more things to his Dads. He has never lived with his Dad, I've been the sole parent this whole time. I've asked my son to tell me what's going on but his responses change with each person he talks to so I don't really know what is happening. I'm feeling depressed, anxious and angry which I've seen my psychologist about and I am trying to work on. I'm trying hard to do what all the websites say - don't take it personally, it turns out this is very hard to do. So this has been happening and then I had a text message from a friend who was supposed to show up at my house for my daughter's birthday with no explanation and very short messages - I asked if I had upset her somehow but didn't get a very real response. She is going through some tough times also so I understand but I guess I feel rejected there and feel like one of my children is rejected which I know is not the case - she had a great day - but I FEEL rejected. Then not one of my family members or close friends text me or rang for her birthday - this happens every birthday and it hasn't really effected me before - except a little annoyance. Well this time I feel like every other kid in our family gets a message/present/card or something, yet my daughter doesn't. Then my husband and I had a major argument over him talking about the situation with my son in front of my son and saying things he shouldn't have. He just blurts it out and it doesn't matter how many times I ask him not to he continues to do it. Its inappropriate and not fair on either of us. To top it off, I'm not sleeping and now have body aches and stomach cramps. I'm so angry, I just want to leave everyone and be on my own. I can rely on myself and I don't have to worry about anyone else, I don't have to worry about anyone rejecting me or my kids. I feel like I have not one person in this whole world who loves me or cares about me. No-one loves me unconditionally. I always go out of my way for people and I only feel good about myself when I'm doing this. I like doing it and I don't ever expect it in return nor do I ask for it. I genuinely don't feel like it needs to be "tit for tat". But when everyone you know only contacts you because they want something from you and not any other time - it just makes me feel completely rejected.

Diddle28 Overwhelmed and feeling alone
  • replies: 3

I have been feeling so overwhelmed and confused with what to do. My emotions are like a roller coaster. I have 2 kids (2 1/2 and a 5 month old). After having my last one my sex drive has basically gone away and my partner has a high sex drive, he is ... View more

I have been feeling so overwhelmed and confused with what to do. My emotions are like a roller coaster. I have 2 kids (2 1/2 and a 5 month old). After having my last one my sex drive has basically gone away and my partner has a high sex drive, he is always wanting something different every time. He knows I am a very low drive now and doesn't need to have sex every night and he is happy with I just please him sexually but its starting to not be enough for him. He said I never start anything, I only do something cause he asked. I have read that I should take my time, give myself time to heal mentally but I feel like I don't have time to heal or wait. He doesn't want to wait and I feel like he doesn't understand what I am going though even know he has depression too. Not from the same thing. He asked if he should get a side chick. I feel like I am alone right now. I have no friends and I don't have the best relationship with my parents. I don't know what to do. I feel like everything is getting to me right now. I'm sorry if this doesn't make much sense! Thanks for any help!

Lost_in_reality Wondering if “the grass is greener on the other side” of our marriage
  • replies: 6

We’ve been married 4 years and together for 11 with a young child. We’ve had our ups and downs along the way but everything changed after becoming a mum. I changed as a person but he didn’t and I‘m not sure we’re compatible. I’m confused on what to d... View more

We’ve been married 4 years and together for 11 with a young child. We’ve had our ups and downs along the way but everything changed after becoming a mum. I changed as a person but he didn’t and I‘m not sure we’re compatible. I’m confused on what to do. I’m constantly wondering if this is what marriage is like or could we both be happier apart. I’ve been thinking this for over a year now and my main concern is the effect on our child, my selfishness of not wanting to share our child’s time with people besides myself and whether I might be wrong in wanting to leave. The time I spend thinking about this has increased lately which is why I’m here. This is my first relationship really, I’d been on dates and that before I met my husband but no one ever felt right until I met him. This makes it hard for me as well, as I don’t have any history for comparison. I’m constantly questioning whether I should ask for a break and time to find myself and what I need from life? Is that asking to much from him? With what’s going on in the world at the moment timing also isn’t great. There’s a lot of underlying things we’ve been through that I’m not sure I can move passed either. We do have good days but the bad generally out way the good. I’m hoping this might find others who have been through a similar situation who might be able to offer their experiences or advice whether positive or not.

Speechless Best way to mentally deal with partner suffering psychosis?
  • replies: 4

Hi , my partner or best friend who has schizophrenia has recently gone into psychosis and I’m now starting to learn just how terrifying that experience is for him and how powerless I am to help him. before this happened he was unwell and i suspect wa... View more

Hi , my partner or best friend who has schizophrenia has recently gone into psychosis and I’m now starting to learn just how terrifying that experience is for him and how powerless I am to help him. before this happened he was unwell and i suspect was taking illicit drugs. He also had a lot of stress build up since last end of year and depression. Up until a week or more ago we were like always on the phone every night and messaging everyday. We’ve been doing that for nearly over 4 years. usually he liked to come over to my place every afternoon as a place to escape to and have company but once this pandemic happened and I live with my parents over 70 , it resorted to limited time hanging out for an hour or less every now and then at a park for a talk. I hadn’t heard from him within a week expect that he would ring up to go for a walk once and then later tell me he couldn’t with no explanation. Or he would hang up on me when I rang him. a bit about me, I have social phobia and anxiety and have a history or agoraphobia for a few years in my youth. I’ve basically been a hermit for most of my adult life but my best friend was sort of my life line out of the loneliness and helped me gain self identity. up until yesterday I didn’t realise what was going on. I thought he was being cruel to me during his illnesss and I didn’t educate myself on it. but then he rang me and sounded like a terrified young boy and told me he was terrified and his breathing was so laboured. When I asked what he was scared of , he told me He couldn’t explain it but that he wanted to die. He mentioned he felt like the whole town around him was swirling ready to get him or something. he is not in hospital, his mum is looking after him and his sister who recently went through the same thing but was recently hospitalised and returned home. I miss my best friend it hurts quite excruciatingly esp during this pandemic as I haven’t anyone else I talk to. except my parents. i am lucky I am seeing my psychologist today but I am desperate to know what should I be doing to help and how should I healthily be thinking and feeling in this time, I feel such agony for him and his family and just want to help but I can’t really and yet I can’t relax or stop thinking about it as it’s distressing. I am educating myself on psychosis but I scare myself into a spiral of loss. Esp during civil 19 and lack of social support.

EmeraldEmphasis Babysitting Upset
  • replies: 1

I have recently moved in with my partner and his family. We have our own space/section of the house. My partners mum works full time and has a young child. Due to the coronavirus she hasn't been sending her child to school. Which ia understandable. H... View more

I have recently moved in with my partner and his family. We have our own space/section of the house. My partners mum works full time and has a young child. Due to the coronavirus she hasn't been sending her child to school. Which ia understandable. However, as she is under 16 she can't be left home alone. Therefore, I am looking after her, which I don't mind but I was never actually asked to. It was just assumed as I don't work currently. I have never even recieved a thankyou for babysitting and keeping her occupied which honestly would be nice. By the afternoon I am tired from keeping the child occupied so at around 3/4 I put on a movie and go do my own thing. Still keeping an eye out but just having time to watch a show myself and relax. Whenever the mum comes home she says she hasn't been up to anything all day. Which isn't the case as they have been playing/talking etc with me. The other day i heard the mum talking to a friend about me. Saying 'no wonder she has mental issues.She never leaves the house etc'. Well I can't leave the house because I'm looking after her kid. And she went on to say 'she does nothing all day'. Just feel upset about the lack of thanks. Are my feelings justified?

missrogue My anxiety and overthinking is ruining my relationship
  • replies: 1

I feel like most of the time my anxiety and overthinking is the third person in our relationship trying to pull it all apart. I'm with an amazing guy and have been for almost 4 years. He supports me as best he can, recently I catch him reading forums... View more

I feel like most of the time my anxiety and overthinking is the third person in our relationship trying to pull it all apart. I'm with an amazing guy and have been for almost 4 years. He supports me as best he can, recently I catch him reading forums of how to deal with anxiety attacks from a partner perspective (i get them every now again) so I couldn't ask for anyone better in my life. I haven't moved on from something that happened over 2 years ago and I feel like i'm going insane about it. I don't bring it up to him often because it will most likely push him away. With the recent Isolation happening, me losing my job and living with my mum who has terminal cancer, everything builds up. My Bf is a naturally very outgoing, charming and happy guy, (he is a ESFP and im an INFP) with that... comes girls that think he is a great catch too right, who wouldn't. There have been multiple women who have asked him out, knowing full well he is taken. Most of them at his workplaces. Some have tried to take it too far and attempted to kiss him even in front of me. There was this one night, a farewell party that we were all invited to, even though I had left the workplace my bf was still working at (a club), I was still friends with the majority of people there. Short of a very long story, there were two girls there that were interested in him (the one that tried to kiss him, call her lips) and another, ill call her devil for this. Devil and I had only had one word conversations. I'd met her once before this. So devil arrives, there were a few things that went down before this... like making a scene about my bf not hugging her when she arrived and not sitting with all of us until he came over. After that, she messaging him telling him to come over to the smoking area. This is where it all happened. (bf had a good friend next to him backing him up, i wasn't there) She said that he is a different person when I am around, I don't bring out the best in him, that I don't suite his personality, that she doesn't even know me and can see that I don't want to get to know her and that he should leave me. (she had lips backing her up) My Bf turned around to her and said "If I didn't love her, i wouldn't have been with her for 2 years, thats the woman i'm going to marry, so you better get used to it." This is all according to my bf and his friend who re-layed what happened to me after I was stressing sitting with one friend at another table. Natural reaction, I started to cry.