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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Mummablue Hello
  • replies: 7

Hi Everyone These last few weeks had been the hardest weeks of my life. I'm finding it very hard and feel very lonely.

Hi Everyone These last few weeks had been the hardest weeks of my life. I'm finding it very hard and feel very lonely.

Winnieford Family in a different country
  • replies: 1

Hi So I went travelling a couple of years ago and met my now partner. We have a little girl together. I'm really struggling with being away from family and not having that close support network. He isnt open about moving back to my home country and t... View more

Hi So I went travelling a couple of years ago and met my now partner. We have a little girl together. I'm really struggling with being away from family and not having that close support network. He isnt open about moving back to my home country and that makes things really difficult for mentally. There was never a verbal discussion as to where we would potentially end up. I guess that's on me. I just thought hed atleast go visit. The last few months have been really tough on me as we live out in the country and it's hard to meet people. I'm so unbelievably lonely and I just dont know what to do.

Meremale64 Made a mess of my life, marriage and too embarrassed and ashamed to talk about how I got myself in this situation.
  • replies: 4

I am a middled aged guy, married with kids who has made some very poor decisions in the last few years and now in a hole deeper than I can see getting out of. I live interstate from my family for work and now with the pandemic even more isolated. I a... View more

I am a middled aged guy, married with kids who has made some very poor decisions in the last few years and now in a hole deeper than I can see getting out of. I live interstate from my family for work and now with the pandemic even more isolated. I am ashamed, guilt ridden and see my situation getting worse, all my doing. One of reasons I have never posted before is I know I’ve made massive mistakes and have seen others be judged , criticised in these forums which is not what I need , I do that to myself enough. Basically I have been unhappy in my marriage for a number of years, but my wife doesn’t see any issues, concerns. I raised my feelings a few years ago and she got very upset obviously and said why, everything is ok, we can sort it. I tried to explain its my feelings, not anything she has or hasn’t done and got what about the kids, they will be devastated (all in their 20’s). After this I went into avoidance mode and although very unhappy have just continued on saying it must be me, I have to stick this out to avoid causing her and kids any pain, distress. Then, my first mistake, I started chatting to someone, which developed into more. I knew it was wrong for all the reasons obvious, but continued. Every time I try to bring up my feelings with my wife she asks when I’m coming home etc which makes me crush with guilt. I didn’t think I was a bad person, but now see I must be, who would do this. To add to my situation I have lost a couple of my closest family members in the last few years, the people I could talk too about anything. Then my latest poor decision was I moved out of my accommodation interstate into a share house, and haven’t told anyone, including my family. I did this because I thought I needed to change my surroundings, and know my wife wouldn’t understand, and have no idea how I felt these decisions were logical, ok. It’s like someone else made them , and now karma coming back for me, and justified. To top of my mistakes the woman I started seeing now says I need to make a decision or she will tell all. I’m stuck interstate so can’t do anything face to face whilst we are in middle of this terrible health situation. I see it all imploding , and added guilt of me feeling like this , by my own creation when so many more are suffering during this time through no fault of their own. I can’t get in to see a specialist for weeks during this time. Apologies for the long post but I’m so depressed, feel alone and stuck .

Em140 My mental illness is taking a toll on my relationship
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I’m not really sure how to being this so I might start with some background information on the title. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly two years and have been on a roller coaster ever since we left the honeymoon stage. Y... View more

Hi everyone, I’m not really sure how to being this so I might start with some background information on the title. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly two years and have been on a roller coaster ever since we left the honeymoon stage. You see I have experience anxiety, depression and high levels of stress have been with me since I was little. It roots from some family conflict and some negative experience that I had at an early age. This effects my self esteem and ability to self sooth myself. min the begin he was so supportive, let me call him when I was having a moment, didn’t matter if it was 4 in the morning he was there to talk. Then I went on holidays for two weeks and he cheated on me.. three days before our one year.. it’s been hell but I think we’re through it. So we’re now nearly two years in and after an argument he says that he’s not as empathetic as he use to be towards me and my issues. This is because I don’t listen to him, that it’s always the same thing and he doesn’t know what to say to me anymore, it’s happening too frequently. In a way hes right. I can keep calling him in the early hours of the morning (that normally makes the situation worst, he’s grumpy.. I’m grumpy). At the moment I am using strategies such as tapping to destruct myself in I’m the moment of overwhelming. And talking to either him or a free councillor at my uni. Is there anything else Someone can suggest I do? For the sack of my relationship I need to do something Thanks

Scaredandunsure What does it mean? Should i give up?
  • replies: 3

My wife and i met when we were 14 have 3 kids and have been together for 20 years married for 10. About 9 months ago things got really hard for me and suddenly i was struggling with work family life and being a husband i became anti social, angered q... View more

My wife and i met when we were 14 have 3 kids and have been together for 20 years married for 10. About 9 months ago things got really hard for me and suddenly i was struggling with work family life and being a husband i became anti social, angered quickly, yelled at my wife a lot because i was begging her to Spend some time alone at home with me and the kids and she didnt want to listen She thought i was trying to stop her having fun. 6 months of constant arguing and Name calling and accusations i found out i had been dealing with depression, she had kicked me Out of the house at the time and we tried to get back together after that but she ultimately Decided she didnt want to be with me anymore. We have been seperated for over 2 months now And in that time i have been dealing with rumours about her sleeping with what used to be my best friend Now background we used to be close as couples. Him and his wife and me and mine Our marriages pretty much came to an end around the same time and i think the rumours started because of that. I know the rumours arent true and they havent slept together yet. She has admitted to having feelings for him then feeling love for him and now the feelings are getting stronger. She was coming to him as a friend and they both maintain that he was trying to get her to come back to me but over the course of talking about everything they just clicked. I asked her recently about what she felt about the thought of having sex with him to see if she said disgusted and maybe the feelings are just more a saviour complex seeing as though he kind of 'protected' her from me at times and all she said was scared. Im trying to take a positive out of it but any partner you would be about to have sex with you would have some apprehension or fear right? Is she too far gone for me i love her with every part of me and i cant imagine a life without her. But she says she still loves me and doesnt want a divorce yet. Should i move on? Is there any hope?

CreativeGypsy Dealing with an anxious boss
  • replies: 1

I started part-time work in a small family run business 4 months ago, run by husband and wife - the wife is highly strung and anxious, and I am struggling with her behaviour, which is exasperated by COVID19. I have worked with a lot of people during ... View more

I started part-time work in a small family run business 4 months ago, run by husband and wife - the wife is highly strung and anxious, and I am struggling with her behaviour, which is exasperated by COVID19. I have worked with a lot of people during my life but this is difficult, she runs hot and cold and brings her problems to work. There are only 3 of us in the showroom, and I am hoping for advice on how to cope. Thanks.

milk___mad How to tell my mum I want professional help
  • replies: 2

I have been dealing with some type of sadness (on and off) for at least 2 years. I have been denying that have had depression before but I typed it up and I realised that I might have it. After quarantine, I want to go see a therapist or something li... View more

I have been dealing with some type of sadness (on and off) for at least 2 years. I have been denying that have had depression before but I typed it up and I realised that I might have it. After quarantine, I want to go see a therapist or something like that to try and help me, but I don't know how to break it to my mum. She is really nice and supportive of me but I don't want to tell her. She has said a couple things to me (like it’s just my period) when I had told her the morning after I had a really horrible night that I don't think I'm worth anything. She has depression (she has medication for it) and I thought she would be more understanding of it. I love her and I push her away because I don't want her around to see how much of a failure I am. I just need a way to say I want to talk to a professional and not you about my feelings. P.S. I don't think about self-harm or hurting myself in such a way, I just want to talk to a professional about my social anxiety and my harsh thoughts.

Shyone Marriage breakdown with joint loans
  • replies: 16

When your marriage feels like it is breaking down; how do you free yourself from the finanical straps that are holding you there? Basically I would like to seperate for a while from my husband, who is sleeping separately from me anyway - in a differe... View more

When your marriage feels like it is breaking down; how do you free yourself from the finanical straps that are holding you there? Basically I would like to seperate for a while from my husband, who is sleeping separately from me anyway - in a different thread - and I am not coping very well and would like to rent somewhere but because everything is either in my name or both I feel trapped.

Livvy123 How to work through your relationship following infidelity?
  • replies: 3

My partner and I were together for a year but then broke up as we were both really depressed and became unhappy in our relationship (felt like we didn't meet each other's needs and were actually unhappy about our lives but blamed the relationship). A... View more

My partner and I were together for a year but then broke up as we were both really depressed and became unhappy in our relationship (felt like we didn't meet each other's needs and were actually unhappy about our lives but blamed the relationship). About 3 months ago we decided to get back together but before this, my partner told me that before we start this relationship I need to know that he cheated on me (kissed a girl from work) about 3 months after we first got together (reason: he couldn't communicate his needs to me and it was a mistake but just felt like I didn't appreciate him - which I didn't in hindsight). Following our break up, another girl from his work expressed her feelings to him and they dated for 3 weeks but that ended quickly as it was a rebound and he realised he wasn't ready and didn't want it. I was extremely upset but I decided I wanted to be with him and work through it and I came clean about feeling guilty about sleeping with someone else as he pursued me initially and lying to him about it our whole relationship. I have really horrible anxiety and have always been insecure and as expected it's only gotten worse now. I love my partner and he as actually been wonderful! Anytime I need to talk about it he listens and never tells me to "get over it already" and whatever I need from him, he does (eg. be more honest with me when a girl messages me, lets me check his phone if I really need to). We both feel like our needs are finally being met and we are openly communicating. However, I'm starting to get really upset with myself because I just can't move on! I'm constantly anxious, insecure and crying because I read into it when he's having a bad day at work thinking it's me and automatically think that he wants to leave me. I get anxious anytime a female speaks to him that he might think she's better than me. I have dreams about him cheating on me and have started having doubts about my own ability to remain loyal and constant flashbacks about what happened and picturing it (almost PTSD like symptoms). I'm over feeling like this and just want to work towards becoming less insecure and anxious about my partner and my relationship but I'm so overwhelmed and don't know how! Any advice would be much appreciated on how to move on with my relationship and also advice on maybe ways to help cope with the anxiety and insecurities. Thanks!