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Removing all contact - best strategy?

Community Member

Hi all,

Long story short, 12-15 months ago my partner ended our relationship of 5.5 years after she had a loss in her family, it was unexpected and nothing to do with 'us' as such.
Today I finally decided that it had been enough time of waking up and thinking about it, so I have made the step to remove all contact from her. For those who have had similar experiences, it feels like we broke up yesterday all of a sudden again. Was this the same for you? any strategies for now taking that next step?.

If it makes it easier, I found it shes in another relationship and has been for 6 months *face palm*, though I still cant get her out of my mind.

Kind regards,

3 Replies 3

Community Member

Hi Bgcg

Yes, the NO CONTACT tactic is effective in relationship bust ups where there are no children involved. It is highly recommended in acrimonious relationship break downs especially where abuse and infidelity are part of the picture.

Your case doesn’t seem to have these nasty features which must be a relief for you. It seems at a low conscious level you may be harbouring ideas that perhaps one day you could be reunited. This type of thinking prolongs the pain.

If she has been in a new relationship for 6 months, her message to you is she doesn’t care and my advice is to go NO CONTACT.

Delete her from your phone, social media accounts and avoid friends, relatives or places where you may unintentionally cross paths. Try and find new hobbies, friends and activities after the social restrictions have been lifted. It will be difficult initially but you must persist and eventually you will arrive at “don’t care”.

Good luck.

Community Member


I agree with Betternow; some good advice.

That being said, have you considered the legal ramifications of the breakup. You say that you were in a relationship for 5.5 years. I can only assume it was a de facto relationship.

Either way, you might want to get some legal advice as she will have a claim on any property that you acquired during the relationship, and possible after the relationship has ended. Technically she/you have 2 years (for a de facto relationship) to arrive at a property settlement. However, property settlement claims have been made 10+ years out of date.

I would strongly recommend that you get legal advice if you have not already done so.

You are on a difficult road; but you will survive!

Community Member

Hi there,

Thank-you for the replies, none of that is an issue thank-fully.

I appreciate the words, ill take it on board and carry on with my journey in life.