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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Samella Lack of respect now feeling resentful
  • replies: 2

My partner of just over a year has 2 female friends, I have been cheated on in the past and have trusting issues but working through them..I believe my partner is my soul mate and we do love each other BUT few examples, we went away the other weekend... View more

My partner of just over a year has 2 female friends, I have been cheated on in the past and have trusting issues but working through them..I believe my partner is my soul mate and we do love each other BUT few examples, we went away the other weekend, laying in bed, his female friends decide to constantly message him, they were drunk, but my partner didn't stop the conversations even though I was laying right next to him! Our one year anniversary..we had a fight 3 days before...he asked one of his female friends out for lunch. We go out for dinner..his phone is constantly dinging...group message with the 2 females. He tells them he's not home, they "assume" he's with me and next message he gets from them is "pussy whipped" he laughs it off. My partner is very open and honest. Yhese 2 girls are his best mates exs..hes known them for many years and used to hang out alot when he was married and when they were married. Right now we aren't speaking, its only been 24 hours since the last incident happened. I just need some help or someone to talk to please

NMD How to balance? Fifo/Working full time with two young kids.
  • replies: 3

Hello, I’m a mother of two, both under the age of 5, I work full time and love my job, it’s something that’s always been “my” thing and something I’m good at outside of Mum life. My partner has got a fifo job, something he’s always wanted to do to ge... View more

Hello, I’m a mother of two, both under the age of 5, I work full time and love my job, it’s something that’s always been “my” thing and something I’m good at outside of Mum life. My partner has got a fifo job, something he’s always wanted to do to get a good career and I support him 100%. He’s doing 3 weeks on and 1 week at home atm, and I’m truely finding it hard to balance my lifestyle. Has anyone got any advice? I feel I’m my own worse enemy, some days are good days but other days I’m just so tired I feel sick. I don’t have any family that can help me in a hurry, I only have my parents in australia and they live an hour away from me, I’ve learnt I’m truely by myself, I don’t have any friends, I’ve always worked full time so really I’ve never had the time to make “mum” friends but I honestly don’t know how and where I’d fit that into my lifestyle, I have no time to do anything and when I do I’m exhausted. I feel I shut people out because it’s a lot of effort for me to make the effort with them and I know that’s wrong but I just don’t know how to juggle it all.. any advice? Or anyone been in a similar situation?

agnus My husband's pornography addiction is destroying me
  • replies: 38

I have never posted online before, but I have no one to talk to about this and it is tearing me apart inside. My husband has had an internet pornography addiction for 17 years, each time I have confronted him with this he has promised to never do it ... View more

I have never posted online before, but I have no one to talk to about this and it is tearing me apart inside. My husband has had an internet pornography addiction for 17 years, each time I have confronted him with this he has promised to never do it again, only to do it again. He has been to numerous counsellors over the years each time telling me hes fixed and no longer addicted. yet here I am again, this time i found by accident a usb full of photoshopped images of myself and my sister, he has placed our faces into degrading and violent pornography and saved them onto usb's . I dont know where to turn I feel so betrayed.

Just_me_now_2004 Coming out after 23 years of marriage
  • replies: 2

My husband and I have been married for 23 years and have decided to separate because I am finally ready to face what I am. We have 3 teenagers and I have told them as well as my family. Am struggling with bing drinking and mild depression and anxiety... View more

My husband and I have been married for 23 years and have decided to separate because I am finally ready to face what I am. We have 3 teenagers and I have told them as well as my family. Am struggling with bing drinking and mild depression and anxiety. I am looking to talk to other mothers that have been in this situation to talk to

Hayabusa Sexless marriage.
  • replies: 4

Hello everybody. I am at a loss. I love my wife so much and I am not going to leave her. But the situation I find myself in is hurting me. In a nutshell the last time we were intimate was in November 2018. I am not the perfect husband. About a year a... View more

Hello everybody. I am at a loss. I love my wife so much and I am not going to leave her. But the situation I find myself in is hurting me. In a nutshell the last time we were intimate was in November 2018. I am not the perfect husband. About a year ago I was chatting with a woman friend of ours on messenger. There was no suggestions in the discussions of going to the next level, and I could not do that because there are no winners if I did. I didnt hide the conversations but I wasn't forward with my wife about them either. When it all came to a head my wife said that I had cheated on her and that I was looking for sex elsewhere. This was not the case, and I did not delete the discussions on messenger, hoping honesty would help me. I accept responsibility for my actions. When the above occurred we had not been intimate in the bedroom for a year. I believe the second year I have brought on myself and I don't know where this will end. Now I am having feelings of worthlessness. I just feel crap all of the time. There is some intimacy but I cannot remember when my wife told me she loves me without me saying it first. I know she doesn't hate me, I just feel that I have become a "life partner" in the relationship. I now get angry at a whim, and do not tolerate fools gladly. In the last few months I have been working on being less angry, but the bear is still in there. I don't know what to do. Maybe writing it all down is an important first step. I feel like I have screwed everything up. It makes me feel very sad. Thank you for reading my post.

July Secret family just revealed/discovered.
  • replies: 5

Hi , I have just found out my son in law ,who has been with my daughter for 4 years ! and was married last february ...has 4 kids he never told her or us about . I am so angry and upset that he can keep this a secret, what kind of man does this . He ... View more

Hi , I have just found out my son in law ,who has been with my daughter for 4 years ! and was married last february ...has 4 kids he never told her or us about . I am so angry and upset that he can keep this a secret, what kind of man does this . He did not disclose this information either my daughter found out by accident as she opened a letter from child support that was sent to their house . The children are now 14,17,19 and 21, three boys and one girl .When he was confronted he quickly went into defence mode , blaming the mother ( it is one mother with all 4 kids)saying she was a she "trapped me " with these kids. He said to me that "all " of his kids are accidents, I am disgusted and cannot forgive the deception and abandonment of these innocent kids. He has not even met the two younger kids, but thinks its ok because he has paid child support . He has admitted to having DNA tests and they are all his biological children. My daughter has two girls aged 6 and 8 now and I always had a gut feeling about him that something was not right , so did my other daughter and other people that have met him also have voiced concerns. My daughter was very angry at first but now has backed down and is now on his side , he is very manipulative and plays on her sympathies. He also said he never would have told my daughter if she had not opened that letter ?? what kind of man acts like this , I have completely lost any respect for him and don't trust him at all ...what else is he hiding? My daughter has not told anyone except 2 close friends , because I think she's worried about what people will say about him and her choice to stay, to me her marriage is based on a lie, he provides her with a lifestyle she loves and gives her anything she wants to appease her ( and his guilt no doubt ) , My issue is I feel so much anger about this situation and do not know how to resolve it, he cant even look at me now because he knows how I am as a mother and I would never put anyone above my kids. To add insult to injury we found out 3 of his children have intellectual disabilities, which makes me feel disgust as my own grandson who is 4 has severe autism and is non verbal. He is a pathetic excuse for a human being , but if I say anything my daughter will stand by him? I just need some advice on how to move forward thanks

Imogen2 Break up
  • replies: 16

It has been six months since my ex ended our 1 year relationship and I can’t seem to let him go. He has blocked me from calling him. It’s a nightmare he is in my thoughts the moment I wake up.

It has been six months since my ex ended our 1 year relationship and I can’t seem to let him go. He has blocked me from calling him. It’s a nightmare he is in my thoughts the moment I wake up.

reationshipstruggles Living with a partner with depression/anxiety/OCD
  • replies: 3

I don’t normally do this kind of thing but lately i’ve been struggling more than ever. My partner has quite severe depression which I would say comes as a result of severe anxiety/OCD, due to a certain family situation. It’s unfortunately a situation... View more

I don’t normally do this kind of thing but lately i’ve been struggling more than ever. My partner has quite severe depression which I would say comes as a result of severe anxiety/OCD, due to a certain family situation. It’s unfortunately a situation that won’t get better until it gets much much worse and my girlfriend knows this and sees absolutely no happiness in life. She’s constantly down, unmotivated and negative towards just about everything we ever talk about. I’ve asked her what I can do to help and supported her as much as I possibly can through just listening to her, talking about things and discussing potentially seeing a therapist but i’m afraid she’s just hit rock bottom and has no intention to try to be happy, whenever we speak about it she says ‘what’s the point of being happy when nothings going to change’. I feel completely and utterly useless in helping her and feel as though I sometimes put her problems onto my shoulders and even sometimes try to do too much to try and fix things in her life which often causes fights and arguments between us. I know I shouldn’t try and fix her problems but if i’m not doing anything I feel more useless than I ever have in my life. Everytime I see her it seems as though she sinks further and further into a depressed state and there’s just no sign of her getting better. With a history of depression myself I don’t know how much longer I can stay in this relationship and be able to handle the stress and pressure I put on myself to help her. It’s like I take on her emotions which puts me down and stops me from doing things that I really need to do like university assignments, getting to work on time and just being motivated to do things for myself. Recently I’ve felt as if i’m losing feelings for her, whether that’s just how it is or her problems are just taking a toll on me. I couldnt possibly break things off because i’m the only person she has. She has minimal friends and never goes out to hang out with anyone which I find puts so much pressure on me to always be around her. I guess I just wanted to ask if anyone’s been in a similar situation and has any advice for me because i’m really struggling and I don’t want to make the wrong decision about my relationship because of this. Thanks

BenD Relationships - romantic and family
  • replies: 3

Hi guys Checking in for a vent. Had a very tough family session with my siblings and mum last Thursday (re: my parents divorce last year) and had to take Friday off work. My boss is a bit of a dinosaur so I'm sort of stressed about him grilling me to... View more

Hi guys Checking in for a vent. Had a very tough family session with my siblings and mum last Thursday (re: my parents divorce last year) and had to take Friday off work. My boss is a bit of a dinosaur so I'm sort of stressed about him grilling me tomorrow about calling in sick on a Friday but really what can I do. Me being healthy will probably save him money in the long term anyway. On top of that I broke up with my girlfriend of 9 months on Friday. We were just always arguing and she wanted commitment that I couldn't give her. Still sucks though. So basically I'm feeling pretty crap about facing emotions to do with the divorce, pretty sad about breaking up with my girlfriend and somewhat anxious about the work situation.

Simply39 Lonely and unmotivated
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I'm not 100% sure if I have anxiety, depression, both or even a combination of things (personality-wise) at this point. But wanted to say hi. Diagnosed with depression 4 years ago after some bullying in my previous job, couldn't work out if i... View more

Hi all, I'm not 100% sure if I have anxiety, depression, both or even a combination of things (personality-wise) at this point. But wanted to say hi. Diagnosed with depression 4 years ago after some bullying in my previous job, couldn't work out if it really was. I never experienced hopelessness etc. Meds helped stabilise the moods, but I lack motivation, dedication, now, even confidence. I came on here because my partner doesn't understand my feelings. I have intense feelings of loneliness a lot, even when he's around and particularly at home (family in NZ, dad unwell, friends who don't really talk to you since you left the country!). He says "go find some friends", - is it that easy? He goes online to play games with his friends, I sit around like a dork. He laughs with them, jokes, while I interact with the kids (he does too, very good dad), read, draw and write. I'm taking art classes online and while that's fun it's not laughing out loud make you feel good friend fun, its for peace of mind... I feel envy, maybe even jealousy because he's engaging with them and not me... (silly isn't it?) I used to have such a good bunch of friends back home in NZ, loved art, music, walking the dog, and I was very social. Now though, I'm coming up 40 next week and I can't even remember the last time we (partner and I) were invited anywhere together. I haven't been to someone's house for weeks, months even. Not even for a BBQ, new years, birthday celebrations... We try to go on dates, but we just sit asking questions about the kids...? I can't keep up with some of the stuff he talks about and when I talk about something he says "not interested", or "where did you hear that?"... He goes out with his work buddies, stay home with the kids. He comes home late hours and then he's no use to me or the kids the next day. LOL* (self-inflicted of course). I put my first piece of art into an exhibition a few months ago and asked him to come with me, he hated every second of it - couldn't wait to leave. Never said he was proud, or great work...any of that. he reckons I shouldn't need it. I felt disheartened. I wanted him to say something.maybe the issue is we aren't compatible? The other issue is I can't stand much noise, someone talking while the TV is on and there is music in the background...(for example) Lights.. clicking pens, running water, taps dripping? I'd love to hear how others have coped with this type of situation. Thanks,