Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Categories
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

Guest7654 Mom cheated on dad - broken family and hurt 20 years on
  • replies: 2

Dear community, I am trying to heal from a childhood experience and would like to write about it here. My mom cheated on my dad multiple times during their 17-year marriage. My dad forgave her multiple times, never cheated himself and is generally a ... View more

Dear community, I am trying to heal from a childhood experience and would like to write about it here. My mom cheated on my dad multiple times during their 17-year marriage. My dad forgave her multiple times, never cheated himself and is generally a good and nice person. When I started school, my mom not only cheated on my dad with two men simultaneously, she decided to marry one of the guys she was having an affair with, because my father did not forgive her this time and, according to her, “it felt good to be appreciated by another man at that time.” When I learned of my parents’ divorce, I was devastated. As I see it, my mom chose her own sexual and emotional fulfillment over her children’s happiness, their dad’s feelings and their chance to have an intact family, telling herself and others different lies in order to justify her actions. Though I loved my mom, I emotionally took my dad’s side in the situation. I started hating the new guy (my stepfather), not only because it was easier to put the blame of my broken family on him than on the person I loved&trusted - my mother - but because he turned out to be a really big jerk. As in playing violent video games, having a very weak intellect, frequently having anger outbursts, loving to command people around, requiring my “respect” just by the fact that he was legally an adult, ridiculing me and others, smoking, regularly drinking, gambling, using crude language, lying, and having zero motivation for self-reflection. My solution was to pretty much stop speaking to my stepfather when I was about 8 years old. Any time I complained about the stepfather, my mom stated that she was the true victim of the situation, because I don’t get along with the stepfather and she is in the middle of it and that I should be respectful toward him. As though it wasn’t her who created the situation in the first place. Even though I am in my 20s now, I simply can’t come to terms with the fact that a person I am so close to has hurt me so badly, acted selfishly and has continuously found excuses to why she is not to blame. I feel hurt that my mom seemingly takes my stepfather’s side and sees me and my attitude as the only problem. I can’t seem to let go of the childhood hurt as the situation is constantly present when I visit my mother. I am thinking about limiting or breaking contact with my mother (at least for a while). If anyone has advice on how to healthily deal with the situation, I'd be happy to hear your thoughts!

MRSFLETCH I think I'm married to a narcissist
  • replies: 2

I supported this man for two years then we got married and he's trying to control me tell me what to do, yells at my kids constantly, uses harsh names when telling at us. He is always right, no one else's opinions or ideas matter in his eyes they are... View more

I supported this man for two years then we got married and he's trying to control me tell me what to do, yells at my kids constantly, uses harsh names when telling at us. He is always right, no one else's opinions or ideas matter in his eyes they are all idiots. No remorse for the court system hes dragged us through. He works when he wants, plays xbox the rest of the time. I bought the home we are in with my money. He came into this relationship with absolutely nothing. I need help

KittyMum Confused on relationship,
  • replies: 2

Hi ive been in a relationship for 8 years ever since high school it has its ups and downs. But recently another guy has come onto the scene. He always there for me and we can chat for ages talking about everything, he's admitted to liking me. Im star... View more

Hi ive been in a relationship for 8 years ever since high school it has its ups and downs. But recently another guy has come onto the scene. He always there for me and we can chat for ages talking about everything, he's admitted to liking me. Im starting to get these fantasy about being with him. We have been chatting lil sexually and he seems to give me butterflies. Im not sure if what I want is to be in a relationship with him or be a side fling? I still love my partner but im not sure why im doubting about being with other guys Please has anyone else been in this kind of situation before. Im torn inside on what I should do

Troy010 Lost love
  • replies: 3

Hi all, i am a new member of this amazimg support group. I suffer badley from depression and sometimes really really bad anxiety,and yes i understand now that alcohol is not what should be going into my body. I have been with my wife for 31 years and... View more

Hi all, i am a new member of this amazimg support group. I suffer badley from depression and sometimes really really bad anxiety,and yes i understand now that alcohol is not what should be going into my body. I have been with my wife for 31 years and married for 16 years,and have two great adult kids. As everyone , 2020 was not the best year with my dad passing and having To leave a job after 10 years,leaving some very special friends/workmates. My wife and i have both been drinkers all of our lives (both from about 14 ) but the last 12 years have been the worst were we basically are/where i major alchohlics for the last 12 years. I have attempted to stop a few times over the past 2 years, 8 months in 2019 and the again for 2 months at the negining of 2020 , to now,where i hate alcohol so much i KNOW i will never drink it again. And i am Now being sober again for 5 monthes, i wanted my wife to do th e same but she just doesnot want to stop drinking. Our last 4 or 5 years have not been the greatest due to alcohol and the nasty nasty demonds it brings When way too much has been consumed. The longer i dont drink,the more i think which is not good,and i know have come to a very hard situuation. I no longer have the love for my wife that i have held so highly for so long,and this i causing a lot of distress with me,where i am now thinking about doing things to myself which i know are wrong,because to me it seems easier than what i now have to do, i know that just makes no sense,im struggling with it as well. There is a bigger back story to my marraige with my with being mentally abusive towards me for a few years , but only because of alcohol, but it still doesnt excuse some of the terriable, hurtful,and so downgrading coments my wife use to direct at me,until it came to a head last year. The deal was we both stop drinking and reset...relove...and go again...but it seems a road im travelling on my own. I can feel im different, i no longer want to be married, i no longer want to give what love i have left just beacuse its whats expected. I do have appointments with my gp today because i really feel im going to do something so stupid if i dont sort this, and myself out. Am i selfish,,am i doing this wrong,,should i be ashamed i can't / don't want to be married anymore. I hope all the above makes a bit of sense and i thankyou for reading my issues.

GingerMan505 Building communication strategies with my partner
  • replies: 20

Hi all, First time poster here ‍. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for most of my life, stemming from physical abuse as a child, and this has manifested itself in relationship issues. Over the last 6 months I have been seeing a psycholog... View more

Hi all, First time poster here 🙋🏼‍. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for most of my life, stemming from physical abuse as a child, and this has manifested itself in relationship issues. Over the last 6 months I have been seeing a psychologist to help me overcome these issues, but 2 months ago I had a breakdown and broke up with my partner, who I have been with for the past 2 years. It was a huge wakeup call for me that I need to really double down on my efforts to overcome these crippling demons and I've added things like practicing mindfulness and journalling into my daily routine. My (now former) partner is incredibly understanding and supportive and we have agreed to once a week catch ups to see if she's willing to try again (I certainly am), but a huge thing for her is to build an effective communication strategy so as I don't bottle things up in future and we end up in the same place again where I just flip and call things off. My question is, has anyone got any particular strategies they use to openly and honestly communicate with their partner to help them? I'm really determined to beat this and be with the woman I love so now matter how left-field you think a suggestion may be, I'm keen to hear it. I'm just trying to find out how we can stay strong in the future. Thank you

LostSoul01 Lost and confused with my BF
  • replies: 4

First time writing here or any place like this.. can’t really ask for advice from family and friends.. so here it goes.. I’m not sure... recently my BF & I had VC. He was at his bosses place and they’ve had a few drinks. While he was on the phone he ... View more

First time writing here or any place like this.. can’t really ask for advice from family and friends.. so here it goes.. I’m not sure... recently my BF & I had VC. He was at his bosses place and they’ve had a few drinks. While he was on the phone he had left his room and returned with his boss (he says they are close) and he has been living with him for a few months. He is moving out so was showing his boss how empty the room was and that he had packed all his stuff. before you knew it his boss tackled him onto the bed and they were carrying on like little kids, on top of each other 🤷🏽‍all the while I was still on video chat and could see and hear everything. I kept quiet until I saw my BF end up on top of his boss.. his boss said a comment “can’t feel anything” to which my BF said “it’s not in yet” I piped and said WTH are you doing? He responds sleeping on my boss.. they were both drunk & I hung up. He called and I didn’t as wet and sent a message saying him and his boss were just playing around and they’re relationship is brother to the brother. im now at loss as to whether my so called BF maybe gay/bi? Or am I jumping to conclusions because of what I saw unfold and cannot unsee it? he keeps saying no he isn’t gay or likes boys etc but I’m not sure if that’s entirely true or if it’s just me now putting up my walls? I can’t also talk to him about when he’s sober because it turns into an argument with myself being made the blame

MummaPetal Separated and need to move out
  • replies: 1

Hello, I've made the heartbreaking decision to leave my husband after 14 years of marriage. I have had enough of being gaslighted and feeling physically and emotionally neglected in the marriage. Couples counselling did not work for us because he was... View more

Hello, I've made the heartbreaking decision to leave my husband after 14 years of marriage. I have had enough of being gaslighted and feeling physically and emotionally neglected in the marriage. Couples counselling did not work for us because he wasn't honest and deflected his issues my way. I've had individual counselling and was told that my husband may have Avoidant Personality Disorder. My physical health is suffering from the strain of living with him. I've told him my intentions to leave. He acts dejected but does not make any attempts to save the relationship. I don't want it to be saved. I want to move on and learn to be happy again. I'm wanting to move out but I have no regular income. Rental applications ask for income details and I only have savings. I don't think I'm eligible for any benefits. I've been a stay at home mum. I've enrolled to do some industry refresher courses in the hope to secure some part time work. I'm not comfortable living at home because my husband is unpredictable. I don't think he would hurt me physically but it's very hard not feeling heard where I am now. I don't know where to go or what to do. I have family but they're unable to have me stay for a while. Thanks. Mumma Petal

Missy580 Help
  • replies: 27

Hi guys, I need some advice. My ex and I were together for a year and a half and broke up 5 months ago. The connection we had together started to fade and I found that the person he was at the beginning of the relationship also started to fade. When ... View more

Hi guys, I need some advice. My ex and I were together for a year and a half and broke up 5 months ago. The connection we had together started to fade and I found that the person he was at the beginning of the relationship also started to fade. When the relationship came to a end we both accepted that the timing wasn’t right for us. In the last 5 months he has frequently contacted me with the “ I miss you” and “ can we talk”. Out of the numerous times, I have each time given him the chance to talk to me and meet up with him. Recently he asked to meet and we both decided to take things slow and see how it goes before getting back together. Then the next day he suddenly changed his mind saying his “confused”. I have been dealing with him coming in and out of my life and getting my hopes up each time. I know this isn’t good for me but why can’t I let go? how can his mind change so suddenly overnight?

Ty95 Girlfriend cheated with best mate of 10yrs
  • replies: 5

Hi guys I’m a 24 year old male. ill keep this as short as possible. I just found out couple days after New Years that my girlfriend cheated on me for my best friend on several occasions. i can’t understand how people that are suppose to be your most ... View more

Hi guys I’m a 24 year old male. ill keep this as short as possible. I just found out couple days after New Years that my girlfriend cheated on me for my best friend on several occasions. i can’t understand how people that are suppose to be your most loved and trusted ones can do that behind your back and still be so comfortable hanging out on the daily. I am a nice guy and without sounding up myself decent looking. I went through serious depression over my ex who cheated on me years ago but this time I haven’t felt bad at all. Ive just felt a bit angry and betrayed but cutting my best mate out of my life who was like a brother to me for half my life has been so easy. I don’t know if I’m just numb or if my brain is doing it’s thing to protect itself. After that bad depression a few years ago. I’m not sure if it’s healthy to not feel and I hope someone can relate or shed a bit of light for me. Life can be so rough sometimes and bad things definitely happen to good people but don’t let that change you. thanks guys.

Hot_Mess What should I do?!?
  • replies: 2

Hi, I really need some advise and help on what I should do. I have been married for 18 years and we have 3 daughters together ranging from 13 to 20. The oldest moved out 2 years ago, so we only have 2 at home. I have suffered from depression and anxi... View more

Hi, I really need some advise and help on what I should do. I have been married for 18 years and we have 3 daughters together ranging from 13 to 20. The oldest moved out 2 years ago, so we only have 2 at home. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for majority of our marriage. I also suffer from severe chronic sciatica due to a back injury. We have been having the same issues for over 10 years which causes many arguments. The main issue being that we have never been a team with raising the girls, I am too hard and he is too soft. I have always admitted this fault in myself and begged him to work together to find a middle ground, but he never has. Instead we have no rules, no structure, and majority of the time I am left ignored by the children when asked to do things like that I know normal family expect of there own children. As a result I do get angry and I do yell, I’m the first to admit that this is wrong but after 10+ plus years of trying to make my family work I have had enough. My husband gets angry with me which I deserve but he insults me all the time and has also allowed our middle daughter to get involved in our arguments and also insult me too. I honestly get told off more than the children do and about the same things he lets them get away with. All this happens in front of the children The things that have been said too me are horrible. Things like your mental, psycho, no wonder your father hit you, no wonder your father tried to kill himself. He tells me that I make people not love me and after a recent argument he even looked me outside while I had a smoke and said stay outside you dog. When we make up and I explain to him why I’m so angry time and time again he tells me he’s trying his best and when I ask why he insults me he says because you make me angry. He makes me feel like I deserve it and that I’m worthless. what should I do I’m a mess? (Sorry for the long post, I needed to tell the full story)