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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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SarBear_JT Ex best friend
  • replies: 4

Hey all I need some advice I have this ex best friend of 11yrs whom I haven’t spoken to in a year or two as I spent a lot of time helping her and I found out she slept with my boyfriend. She’s now trying to come back into my life asking for help and ... View more

Hey all I need some advice I have this ex best friend of 11yrs whom I haven’t spoken to in a year or two as I spent a lot of time helping her and I found out she slept with my boyfriend. She’s now trying to come back into my life asking for help and I’m not sure if I give her another chance or not as everytime I do she always shows me why I shouldn’t. I really wanna help her but is she taking advantage of my kindness? Do I help her or do I say enough is enough till she starts helping herself ?

Snowman02 No one knows about my mental health issues.
  • replies: 6

I've been seeing therapists over the course of 7+ years, I've been diagnosed with depression and Body dysmorphic disorder amongst other issues, and I've been on medication for over a year. Thing is my wife and son know nothing of this. I'm not sure w... View more

I've been seeing therapists over the course of 7+ years, I've been diagnosed with depression and Body dysmorphic disorder amongst other issues, and I've been on medication for over a year. Thing is my wife and son know nothing of this. I'm not sure why I've never told them about this, maybe for fear of looking weak. Obviously I do a very good job of hiding it well. To be honest, I wouldn't know where to start with telling them. The therapists have often said I need to tell my wife, as some of my issues are marriage related. Thing is my wife has little empathy when it comes to mental health, and has a dim view of therapy. Has anyone else been in a similar situation, and did you manage to come clean. If so, how?

J_xlx making family proud
  • replies: 6

i constantly look for my dads approval make my dad proud my test scores are never good enough im not good enough at sports the only time my dad was ever proud of me unconditionally was when i made a state team

i constantly look for my dads approval make my dad proud my test scores are never good enough im not good enough at sports the only time my dad was ever proud of me unconditionally was when i made a state team

gazbuild 12yr marriage struggles
  • replies: 3

Hi all, not sure where to start with this as I’ve never asked anyone for help. I have two boys 9 & 6, my wife and I seem to be struggling to connect and find time for each other. It turned into an argument where we described our feelings. She is curr... View more

Hi all, not sure where to start with this as I’ve never asked anyone for help. I have two boys 9 & 6, my wife and I seem to be struggling to connect and find time for each other. It turned into an argument where we described our feelings. She is currently working part time and studying, I work full time and being enough coin that we are comfortable. The reason for this info is she can’t say no to additional days at work and I feel it is coming between us as the daytime activities get pushed into the nights and as such the time disappears. Her response is that i have been working to much. Being self employed this is a hard thing to judge as I just want to provide for my family. I know I have anger issues when I’m hungry and have a short temper T these times also. It would seem I keep stepping in it and I feel things are getting worse. Not sure how to better explain this but I feel like I need something as I am more and more feeling, what’s the point, under appreciated, overwhelmed and more and more like I’m just a bad egg. Help

nathan_sch How can I start to heal
  • replies: 3

Recently I feel like I have changed as a person. This person is not who I want to be. Depressed, no energy, in a constant state of anxiety??….I have never dealt with this my whole life and all of a sudden I feel like I have been thrown in the deep en... View more

Recently I feel like I have changed as a person. This person is not who I want to be. Depressed, no energy, in a constant state of anxiety??….I have never dealt with this my whole life and all of a sudden I feel like I have been thrown in the deep end. Where do I start ??

Hstar Jealousy taking control of my fiancé to the point of me becoming suspicios
  • replies: 4

I have been with my fiancé for almost 5 years and I have lately been overwhelmed with jealousy and controlling behaviour to the point that I’m stopping myself going out with friends so he will do the same . I don’t like him going to work events incas... View more

I have been with my fiancé for almost 5 years and I have lately been overwhelmed with jealousy and controlling behaviour to the point that I’m stopping myself going out with friends so he will do the same . I don’t like him going to work events incase someone he becomes more interested in . and I’m becoming super stressed angry and jealous about so many things . I feel I need help as our relationship is almost at breaking point and I can’t afford a psychologist . I need strategies to get me out of my own head space . I go to the gym regularly and I work a lot but when I’m alone and I hear of things he would like to do I am extremely jealous.

Wookie123 Relationship over - 10 years
  • replies: 11

Hi all, after 10 years together, my partner ended our relationship 2 weeks ago. At first it didn’t seem real, but today we chatted and she said doesn’t want to come back. Her reason is she’s just unhappy and not sure what she wants.I’m genuinely stru... View more

Hi all, after 10 years together, my partner ended our relationship 2 weeks ago. At first it didn’t seem real, but today we chatted and she said doesn’t want to come back. Her reason is she’s just unhappy and not sure what she wants.I’m genuinely struggling, I just don’t know what to do. I’m 43, no kids and now feels like I have nothing to show for my life. mornings, and especially nights have been hard. Eating dinner, that basically doesn’t happen as I can’t think of a time in 10 years we haven’t sat down together. I just sit and cry.I don’t have a big circle of friends, my family support is not the best. Work colleagues have been good, but with all this is still feel very lonely. So very lonely.what I can’t understand is that if she doesn’t know what she wants, why do I have to be the sacrificial one? Why me? It just hurts so much

teaBee Alone
  • replies: 1

My boyfriend just went out with his friends tonight and I’m here alone. My best friend never invites me to things anymore. And every time I try and reach out she’s busy. Where did all my friends go. I’m so tired and anxious these day I don’t know how... View more

My boyfriend just went out with his friends tonight and I’m here alone. My best friend never invites me to things anymore. And every time I try and reach out she’s busy. Where did all my friends go. I’m so tired and anxious these day I don’t know how to make new friends. And all my friends from high school have moved far away. I want to go out and have a girls night and laugh and have fun. But with who.

99what_now99 I don't know what I should do now
  • replies: 1

Today I made the decision that my husband and I would begin being separated. We have been married for 6.5 years (together for 8.5) and we've made it through hurdles before but now it feels we have run out of steam. Neither one of us cares much about ... View more

Today I made the decision that my husband and I would begin being separated. We have been married for 6.5 years (together for 8.5) and we've made it through hurdles before but now it feels we have run out of steam. Neither one of us cares much about what the other says or does. Every conversation ends in an argument. He has a drinking problem. I have anxiety. We both have depression. His has hit hard this year especially when changing jobs. On the outset, he is in a better place, less toxic and actually enjoys work now. I'm less depressed this year and working on my social anxiety. But we don't have energy to support each other anymore. We've given all we can. And now we are walking on egg shells everyday. Today we finally admitted that we can't do this anymore. I've moved into the spare room. I'm not going to fight about who loves where. I don't care anymore. I just want to be happy. I guess, I just don't know what to do from here. I'll move my things into the spare room over this week. But then what? How long do i stay under the same roof for? When do we go to mediation? My biggest concern is leaving our dogs. We have two. And I know he will fight to have them. I don't want to fight. But I don't want to not have them. They are my babies and have been by side through everything. There's the housing crisis as it is, so even if I move out, it's unlikely I'll find anywhere that will let me have dogs for the weekend or every fortnight.... I don't know what to do. What are the steps you took after separation? I'm mainly asking for those who were the one to leave the home, what did you do? How long? Did you do mediation? Did things become amicable? I know my husband is petty, and he will take shots wherever. I really can't see him being mature about this. He's been throwing divorce in my face for the last 2 years whenever we have a fight but he has never been the one to leave or raise concerns. He just pretends everything is fine. I'm dealing with someone very manipulative, deflects, plays victim, and who is very good with words. I don't know if any of that makes sense. I just need someone to talk to.