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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Julie_81 Anxiety over husband coming home...
  • replies: 10

I have been with my husband for 20 years and we have two children together. He has always been volatile and has mood swings, suffers from PTSD ect. I have always been the forgiving, placating one that says sorry and wants to stop the arguments and hi... View more

I have been with my husband for 20 years and we have two children together. He has always been volatile and has mood swings, suffers from PTSD ect. I have always been the forgiving, placating one that says sorry and wants to stop the arguments and his sometimes silent treatment. Lately after all this time of good and bad, ups and downs I feel that I can't do it anymore. I get extreme anxiety when he comes home from work, I work later myself so I don't have to come home. When I hear his car coming up the driveway I feel scared, I don't know what mood he will be in. I have to stop being myself and start pretending. I am walking on eggshells when around him and often say the wrong thing, which causes him to get angry. He has let me know that he will be having a day off and instead of being happy for him I feel angry as he has ruined my plans that I have made with my work, I will have to postpone them because he gets angry if I have something to do when he is free. I feel that I am slipping into depression, can't cope and overeating is my way of coping. I am overweight, which just gives him another way to put me down. I know that I am not perfect and I am sure that he has just as many complaints about me but I just don't know what to do. I am powerless as I don't want to talk to him about how I feel, don't want to have a marriage breakdown, put my children through hell... I am just stuck He works hard and I do love him but it is not right that I am feeling this way. All I want to do is sleep and do my own thing, the less I interact with others the better as I feel I am a failure and just don't want to get into an argument with him. Any advice would be appreciated, thankyou

vixstar Has anyone made the decision to not have children due to their mental illness?
  • replies: 3

I am in a stable and loving marriage and am getting to the age where the window for having children is very small.I suffer with Generalised Anxiety Disorder, OCD and depression and it has been present for much of my adult life. I am medicated and see... View more

I am in a stable and loving marriage and am getting to the age where the window for having children is very small.I suffer with Generalised Anxiety Disorder, OCD and depression and it has been present for much of my adult life. I am medicated and see a psychologist regularly.I have never been the type of person that needed to be a Mum more if it happened great if not then it’s not meant to be.As I get older my struggle with my mental health has been the driving factor in making the decision to remain childless. This life is not easy and even though a part of me thinks I would be a good Mum, I would never forgive myself if my child inherited my illnesses. I know firsthand it just makes things so much harder in an already difficult world.Even though I haven’t come to this decision lightly at times it still makes me sad with many intrusive thoughts about my relationship, loneliness, guilt and shame.It is hard to see friends with their families particulary at this time of the year and not feel some regret. I don’t discuss this topic with others as it is difficult for them to understand. Just wanting to know if there is anyone who is experiencing similar or may have also made the decision to not have children due to their own health. Thanks for taking the time to read this far.

Giggyy how do i deal with intense loneliness
  • replies: 5

my birthday is coming up and due to my autism I have never developed fulfilling relationships, I dont have anyone to spend time with and that won't usually bother me, except that this year everyone in my family has been reminding me how "sad" and "we... View more

my birthday is coming up and due to my autism I have never developed fulfilling relationships, I dont have anyone to spend time with and that won't usually bother me, except that this year everyone in my family has been reminding me how "sad" and "weird" I am for not having any friends and making my own birthday cake, it really made me think about how lonely I really am. I never really celebrate my birthday I just sit alone in my room, it makes me upset to come to the realisation that I truly don't have anyone close to me who cares about mehow do I stop feeling so bad about having no friends?

Suzie_Q Confused & feeling used
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, I feel so stupid. I let a guy into my life, he said all the right things to make me think things would work out. He stayed over and since then I’ve barely heard from him and I feel his attitude has changed towards me completely. He suffe... View more

Hi everyone, I feel so stupid. I let a guy into my life, he said all the right things to make me think things would work out. He stayed over and since then I’ve barely heard from him and I feel his attitude has changed towards me completely. He suffers with his own mental health and I’ve always supported him but I don’t feel like that’s a good enough excuse to mess around with someone’s feeling especially when he knows how I feel about him. I was so heartbroken because I could feel him slipping away, I cried in my bed and found it hard to breathe. I feel like I’m not good enough even though he says I’m too good for him. I don’t know what to believe. I’m kind of tired of putting my all into this guy and getting nothing in return, I’m mixed between being sad and angry now. I’m drinking alcohol tonight which I don’t even normally do but I feel like it makes me sort of relaxed. I love this guy so much and really have for like 9 years.

mylove19 Depression
  • replies: 2

I have recently become estranged from my daughter. I had a very turbulent life as a child and never felt like I was loved or wanted. When I was pregnant I always said and told my unborn daughter I would never treat her like I was treated. I failed. M... View more

I have recently become estranged from my daughter. I had a very turbulent life as a child and never felt like I was loved or wanted. When I was pregnant I always said and told my unborn daughter I would never treat her like I was treated. I failed. My family never supported me as a single mum and bad mouthed me to my daughter at every opportunity. There has been no positive communication with my mother or sister my whole life. My daughter and I were to spend our Christmas Day together on Thursday. I had a lovely day organised but she stood me up. She had to have lunch with her boyfriends grandmother. Her boyfriend and her live with this lady. I was so hurt I lost it. I am so irrational. I can't control myself. She has blocked me on all platforms. I am beside myself with grief guilt regret hopelessness. I can't stop crying. I can't stop trying to find away to contact her. Im fairly sure I have lost her for good but I live with a small amount of hope. I also know me contacting her is pushing her away more but I can't stop myself. Im lonely alone and sick of burdening my friends with this revolving door relationship. I love her so much but am killing the relationship or have killed it. My pain is so bad I need to talk to anyone or anything- meaning this type of communication online. How do I stop the hurt? I don't want to harm myself but I do wish I just wouldn't wake up one day. To do that I need to sleep but that is impossible. I have devoted my whole life to her and now she has a new life with her boyfriend I feel unwanted and unloved. I'm completely unhinged. Thanks for reading

Emma_4376 Only child is gay
  • replies: 16

Hello, I am the single parent of an only child (aged 19) who is gay. I can't find any support while I'm adjusting to this news and no options come up when I google. Is anyone else in the same situation? Thank you.

Hello, I am the single parent of an only child (aged 19) who is gay. I can't find any support while I'm adjusting to this news and no options come up when I google. Is anyone else in the same situation? Thank you.

virgo_rose Husbands alcohol addiction
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone. I'm feeling lost and unsure what to do. Every now and then my husbands drinking gets out of control and results in him blacking out and not remembering how rude and horrible he was to me. This has been a common theme for our 9 yrs togeth... View more

Hi everyone. I'm feeling lost and unsure what to do. Every now and then my husbands drinking gets out of control and results in him blacking out and not remembering how rude and horrible he was to me. This has been a common theme for our 9 yrs together. He has admitted multiple times that he has no control over his drinking and even drinking light beers brings him to the point of not knowing what he's doing or where he is or even being able to figure out how to get home. When he is in this state i try remain calm but it ends in me being verbally abused or him ignoring me. It's as though a switch flips and he hates me even when I'm trying to help get him home or into bed. I have never told him to quit but i have cried many times telling him how sick of it i am and how much it hurts me as many happy events are ruined by him disrespecting me or getting angry for no reason etc. 3 weeks ago he admitted he was an alcoholic and needs to stop drinking. 1 week later he lied about drinking which added another problem to our relationship - honesty. Now he is back to having a few beers a night. And tomorrow is thinking of getting a 6 pack. I can see where its heading. I'm exhausted and see no end in site and am anxious for our future outtings and of him drinking. This is coming between us and i feel we are both depressed. I feel a disconnect. I have tried to support him many times, even avoided buying alcohol myself. It hurts me that alcohol seems more important than our relationship. All the bad memories of him being drunk and horrible and the fact he still won't 'grow up' makes me often want to end things. I just want a happy life together for us. Thankyou for listening

claire84 I still hate being a parent after 6 yeara
  • replies: 1

Help me please I’m struggling. I have two gorgeous girls who are 6 and 5. I love them and would hate for anything to happen to them or for them to know how I feel. I absolutely hate being a mother. I hate it. I hate everything about it, the constant.... View more

Help me please I’m struggling. I have two gorgeous girls who are 6 and 5. I love them and would hate for anything to happen to them or for them to know how I feel. I absolutely hate being a mother. I hate it. I hate everything about it, the constant. i have previously been diagnosed with PND but apparently not it’s just moved anxiety or depression. I just don’t know what to do. I’m still on anti depressants and I don’t really feel they are working. What am I supposed to do? Is this life?

Andrew_Andrew Resigning myself to being unhappy.
  • replies: 4

I have been in Oz for 17 years (originally from the UK). Met my wife (Australian) after a few months and been together ever since. We have 3 kids (8 and 4yo twins). My wife hates me, and so does her family, and I honestly don't know why. Was with the... View more

I have been in Oz for 17 years (originally from the UK). Met my wife (Australian) after a few months and been together ever since. We have 3 kids (8 and 4yo twins). My wife hates me, and so does her family, and I honestly don't know why. Was with them this Xmas and have had to leave and come back to Sydney because I was so unwelcome. All my blood family are in the UK, and I really don't have any friends, as those I had have all moved away bit by bit. All I have is my kids, and they are away still and won't be back for a week or more at least. My job is very unstable and I feel completely alone. I feel very down (have done for a long time), but now I seem to lack hope (I have given up on my wife's family taking me in, and on trying to understand why they hate me so much). So instead I am now feeling like I will always be unhappy. It's bleak, but I don't see how it gets better. I love my kids and they love me. If my wife and I stay together it's probably not fair on them, and if we break up I will literally have no-one and nowhere to go, so seeing them regularly will be very difficult. What do I do? I do want to feel happy, but I feel like there is no real hope.

eScootsy Struggling with Loneliness (beyond the holiday season) - How do you stay connected?
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone, this year I experienced a big shift in some friendships and our dynamic changed a lot. I went from talking to some people daily to maybe hearing from them once a week or less often. We don't really have conversations until we meet up an... View more

Hey everyone, this year I experienced a big shift in some friendships and our dynamic changed a lot. I went from talking to some people daily to maybe hearing from them once a week or less often. We don't really have conversations until we meet up and having a brief: How are you? I'm great but so tired, what about you?I'm not going so great. And seeing that they're offline and I don't receive a reply for 5 days isn't really working for me anymore. I have met up with my specific friends maybe 4 times in 6 months since then and I'm the one who proposes it every time... I know they're unwell sometimes and also have their own mental health struggles, but sometimes it's really hard to process going from talking to them so often to almost never. I also know that being offline is really healthy for my friends and that they are making some great memories together (as they also started dating each other earlier this year). However, I really don't have that many friends and as it stands aside from work, I only see one other person maybe once a week or fortnightly. My housemate also just moved out so I'll be living alone for the next 2 months and a bit. My parents live more than an hour away, my sister lives close but she's also suffering with depression and bad thoughts, and historically has never really suggested meeting up because her job is exhausting on top of her mental health. I've tried looking at clubs, but my local library tends to run things on weekdays and I have a full-time job. There are gardening groups in the local park that are run monthly I'm interested in joining and a monthly meetup I go to after work as well, but I'm feeling really disconnected from people and every time I think this it brings me to tears. I just want to find a way to connect with people and maybe do some face-to-face meetups through some method. I'm in a lot of Discord forums but almost everyone in the group is in the US (so a totally opposite time zone and I've had almost no discussions with them because every time I'm free, they're asleep). I'm not sure that online meetups/hangouts are working for me right now either. Does anyone know any way to make more connections so I don't keep feeling so alone?