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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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adamc Mum Forbidding Me Seeing My Young Sister For Christmas
  • replies: 7

Firstly, I'm 39-years old, have my own bank account and when I see something in in the shops I want to buy, like a new release DVD, I get it. But mum tries to dictate what I can and can't buy. Back on Mum's birthday, my 26-year old sister stood up to... View more

Firstly, I'm 39-years old, have my own bank account and when I see something in in the shops I want to buy, like a new release DVD, I get it. But mum tries to dictate what I can and can't buy. Back on Mum's birthday, my 26-year old sister stood up to Mum and told her that I have every right to buy what I like with my own money. Mum didn't like that and since demanded an apology off her which she won't get. As my sister said, she's not apologising for speaking the truth. Mum doesn't like anyone standing up to her. She wants me and my two sister to be exactly how she was with her parents; "Yes mummy, whatever you say mummy." My 42-year old sister is already doing it and it's disgusting. Mum told my sister until she apologises, she is not to come over. Now, I have naturally bought my sister and two young nieces presents for Christmas and Mum is forbidding me from going over there to see them. She's even stated "Don't ask your father to take you over as that'll say he's siding with her." I find the whole thing disgusting. As I said to my Dad while out on a walk earlier to get today's paper, what right does my Mum have to prohibit me from visiting my sister and nieces for Christmas?

Nautanki Feeling unsupported by boyfriend of 3 years
  • replies: 3

My boyfriend (31m) and I (29f) live together. I'm Indian and he's American. We have an older neighbour lady in her 70s who is quite sweet for the most part. In September 2022, my boyfriend's mum was coming to visit us. She was going to stay with us f... View more

My boyfriend (31m) and I (29f) live together. I'm Indian and he's American. We have an older neighbour lady in her 70s who is quite sweet for the most part. In September 2022, my boyfriend's mum was coming to visit us. She was going to stay with us for 5 days and I was super anxious (I hadn't met her before). The morning of her arrival, neighbour lady pulls me in to her house when I'm alone and tells me that no mother would ever want her son to be with a cheap sl** like me, and I should just stay quiet and stay out of their way so his mom doesn't see me as the cheap sl** in a bar. I was shook and ended up having a panic attack before they arrived. Later on, I told boyfriend about it. He said that she's just crazy sometimes and I shouldn't be too upset coz his mom is gonna love me. I was kind of reassured, but later that day he was talking to neighbour lady all friendly and hugged her as though nothing had happened. I felt upset and told him that I felt like he forgave her too easily for saying that stuff and dismissed the hurt she caused me. I also felt like he didn't have my back. Since then, we've been having issues because he'll keep trying to point out her goodness like as though I hate her (I don't), but doesn't understand that I feel betrayed by him not being upset with the person who called me a cheap sl**. How do we move on?

Lyssaa Insecure about lack of relationship experience
  • replies: 5

Hey guys,I'm an 18 year old girl who's just finished her first year out of high school. I've been feeling really insecure lately because of my lack of romantic and sexual experience. I dated one guy in high school when I was 14 for a few months and i... View more

Hey guys,I'm an 18 year old girl who's just finished her first year out of high school. I've been feeling really insecure lately because of my lack of romantic and sexual experience. I dated one guy in high school when I was 14 for a few months and it wasn't a very healthy relationship, and I recently had a situationship with a guy I liked that never ended up turning into anything. These are the only two guys I've ever kissed and I've never done anything more than that with a guy before. I know that if I wanted to have sex realistically I could (I was on Tinder for a short period of time and the offer was made to me by a few guys) but I know that I'm not someone who would be able to have sex with a complete stranger who didn't care about me, at least not the first time. After my first boyfriend in high school I wasn't interested in any of the guys at my school and didn't have many guy friends at all, and I had a pretty tight social circle so I didn't know any guys outside of school for me to be interested in. There were a few guys at school that possibly had crushes on me but they never did anything about it and I wasn't interested in any of them anyway. I guess I'm just feeling insecure because I feel like I've "missed out" on that experience of love and having someone truly love you. I also feel partially 'obliged' to participate in casual sex or hook-up culture instead of waiting for someone who truly loves me, mostly because I just can't see how I'm meant to meet someone who wants to be in a relationship with me anytime soon, partially because I feel like so many people have already had that first love experience and partially because I just genuinely don't know where I'm meant to meet someone. I don't want to hookup with someone just to get it over and done with, but I'm afraid that I'm never going to meet someone who loves me so I'll just be a virgin forever, and that if I do meet someone when I'm older they're just going to judge me for my lack of romantic and sexual experience. It just sucks knowing that some people are lucky enough to have already met someone, or multiple people, who care about them and love them, but that just happened to me yet. And I know I'm only 18, but I just feel so behind. Anyone have any advice or any consolation at all to help me feel like I haven't missed out? Thanks! Lyssa

Roger2839 Is this cheating
  • replies: 2

Hey. So I have been in a relationship for 5 years but for some reason tonight I thought I’d try and go to a brothel. Once I got there I stopped myself from doing anything and went straight home. Is this cheating? I feel guilty just for thinking about... View more

Hey. So I have been in a relationship for 5 years but for some reason tonight I thought I’d try and go to a brothel. Once I got there I stopped myself from doing anything and went straight home. Is this cheating? I feel guilty just for thinking about it. I know I’m my heart I’d never even consider that again.

Ej40 My left me and im really struggling.
  • replies: 3

7 days ago my wife left me and it has been really hard on me. My wife has a 8 year old from previous relationship and I class her as my daughter she called me dad and we have a great connection we only been married 12 months out of a 2 year relations... View more

7 days ago my wife left me and it has been really hard on me. My wife has a 8 year old from previous relationship and I class her as my daughter she called me dad and we have a great connection we only been married 12 months out of a 2 year relationship. Though it's hitting really hard im really not coping cry daily nights are worse I still live in the house and all her stuff is still here as well so lots of memories around me. My wife said I need to heal I have issues and she is also healing im currently speaking to a mental health person to help with my issues. I have bad anxiety issues which is not helping my current situation I really want to work on our marriage because this is my first marriage and I'm 40yrs old so I gave it my all and now I feel I failed our marriage and feel lonely lost hurt guilt I really love this woman and I have said I will do anything to work on our marriage but she won't try councillors she just says I have to heal and find myself again and I have no idea what this means.how do i stop thinking about her and help myself I'm very concerned for myself because just when I think im starting to get better I hit bottom again over and over the only contact I have with her is via email and I try to give her space but it's so very hard to not email constantly and i cant just stop caring loving the woman of my dreams I really don't know how to get through this how to be strong and push through the pain especially when I'm still in love with her.

car10001 needing someone to talk to (am ok however)
  • replies: 8

hi am needing someone to talk to but otherwise am ok. wondering how you would meet a girl and find some friends similar age. a friend and her partner dressed up to go somewhere for a weekend & thats one thing that made me think about how much am want... View more

hi am needing someone to talk to but otherwise am ok. wondering how you would meet a girl and find some friends similar age. a friend and her partner dressed up to go somewhere for a weekend & thats one thing that made me think about how much am wanting the girl and some friends. also as some of you may or may not know the sister is seeing someone and travels to adelaide once a week/fortnight to see the friend and its making me miss the trips to the adelaide hills that use to drive up alone and its reminding you that you have no one and how much you want things to change. am wanting a girl to hang around with now and then and some friends and be able to drive to more places and do small road trips and wondering how do you find a friend and some friends. the cousins have now got own families and now really only go up with someone for functions and miss travelling alone which is reason for wanting friends to go see and a girl and other friends. the uncle got sick and car that had at time came up to that time as a daily where it started having lots problems and now that have got a different one am wanting to do it and have no one else. how do you get someone to introduce you to people. plus dont live alone to have the independence that the cousins who have own houses do. how do you get the independence they have with their own houses but while still living where you are until you can get your own house which some (myself included) are waiting until they can buy their own place. how does someone on low income or pension afford to buy their own place and/or cover living costs as it seems there is only enough income from that alone to cover living or having a life and if you were to have your own house which renting is only option and want to wait until am able to afford to buy theres not much left to have a life and save by time you cover all your bills. what can be done about the friends bit until youre able to have a job that works closer to office hours with maybe a very occasional saturday or something. am at that stage in work life and just trying to do the best until place of work sells. have accepted its time for everyone to move on as sad as it is thanks

Jellybean2005 Bit lost with teenage daughter
  • replies: 2

Single.mum with 17yr old daughter who has increasingly been so spiteful verbally with rudeness,ungrateful statements, speaks to me with such venom and nastiness about the most tiniest things. High achiever and switched on but the verbal assaults are ... View more

Single.mum with 17yr old daughter who has increasingly been so spiteful verbally with rudeness,ungrateful statements, speaks to me with such venom and nastiness about the most tiniest things. High achiever and switched on but the verbal assaults are increasing and lack of empathy has left me lost. Did i bring her up to be too strong and confident? Recently halted our holiday by leaving early morning,no notice, gets on a plane and back to Sydney.I wake to find my daughter gone. Im horrified. She is safe and goes home but still.has no acknowledgement for her inexcusable actions.

LittleJules Single Parent and no friends
  • replies: 7

I'm a single mother to a 7 year old. I have no friends and I'm lonely all the time. I work full-time and weekends/holidays can be lonely. I joined a social engagement site, but they tend to meet up in the city which is an hour drive from me. I have a... View more

I'm a single mother to a 7 year old. I have no friends and I'm lonely all the time. I work full-time and weekends/holidays can be lonely. I joined a social engagement site, but they tend to meet up in the city which is an hour drive from me. I have asked for closer meetups but I don't get a response. Anyone want to chat?

Rogger What is a romantic relationship?
  • replies: 4

Ok, I know this sounds like a stupid question, let me elaborate. In both my personal experiences and media that I've consumed, romantic relations are something to be, for lack of a better term, romanticised. They are held in a much higher regard than... View more

Ok, I know this sounds like a stupid question, let me elaborate. In both my personal experiences and media that I've consumed, romantic relations are something to be, for lack of a better term, romanticised. They are held in a much higher regard than mere friendships or even family relations in some situations, with people describing them as their "other half". However, this made me curious, I understand that marriage is a bit different, but at least in terms of boyfriend/girlfriend, I personally struggle to understand how this is fundamentally different from a friendship. I understand that in mostly physical relationships, partners might be little more than acquaintances, but in a romantic relationship, wouldn't your boyfriend/girlfriend be essentially just a friend who you are attracted to, and who is also attracted to?

Farmers_wife Second place to the farm
  • replies: 4

Since we got married (many years ago) it's always felt like hubby puts the farm first in every way shape n form & to be honest I'm absolutely over it & fed up. Our bedroom has no insulation & a termite hole in the wall plus we have about $3k of flat ... View more

Since we got married (many years ago) it's always felt like hubby puts the farm first in every way shape n form & to be honest I'm absolutely over it & fed up. Our bedroom has no insulation & a termite hole in the wall plus we have about $3k of flat pack robes still in boxes from about 4 years ago, hubby won't fix bedroom until new cattle yards are built. Bathroom is revolting with paint peeling off the uneven walls but can't get any tradies here for at least 12mths so hubby says book one in & when the time comes we'll see if we can afford it. Our dream home came up for sale in 2022 but we were 60k short because we bought a baler on finance on accountant advice. I fear we're stuck in a very old house that needs a lot of work for the rest of our lives. I'm absolutely fed up with feeling like me & the house are second fiddle to the farm. Every time I bring it up we end in an argument & there's no one nearby I can talk with coz it'll get back to hubby & cause more arguing. I'm even questioning whether I should be leaving him & making a new life for myself. Doesn't help we never get a break unless it's shopping or medical related