Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

Sinala Non healing CPTSD, homelessness and addiction, abusive family.
  • replies: 5

Life has never really been easy, and I haven't really written or spoken about a lot of things I need to get out before. I won't talk about the past but what's going on as of recent. As of recent my struggles have got progressively worse. I stopped ta... View more

Life has never really been easy, and I haven't really written or spoken about a lot of things I need to get out before. I won't talk about the past but what's going on as of recent. As of recent my struggles have got progressively worse. I stopped taking medication because I wanted to change them and then the new ones wouldn't help me. Progressively my mental health declined and I would stupidly take drugs with people who hated me and abused me every time they would invite me to there house. I eventually cut them off and wanted to start my journey quitting drugs. Then even sober friends would bring me down. I was really concerned for a suicidal friend and was worried she would harm herself. Eventually she and her boyfriend accused me of insinuating for her to harm herself, and someone who also struggles with mental health issues I would never no matter the circumstances. After that they destroyed my artwork that really ment a lot to me, that art I made helped me start my journey to wanting to heal my mental health. My own mother tells me to go harm myself when I'm already depressed and things just get progressively worse. My own family hates me and clearly hates me and never believe me about my traumas. I had a argument and fight with my mums friend but she won almost asphyxiating me which has made me more anxious around people and public again. Also my mother attacked afterward. My mother hit me first and put a family intervention order on me. I just didn't contest the order and I am now regretting my decision not too. I've always been her personal punching bag out of all my siblings. I've never seen her attack them. I'm done with my mother for good, I never want to be in her presence to have the chance to attack me again. Now I'm homeless and I start work on January 23rd first job in 5 years due to past trauma. I'm hoping I can be okay and maintain work. I miss my pet, certain deceased friends all the time on top of this. I have no friends at the moment I can trust. I just want to keep going and gain independence but it's so hard while I'm so broken. I wish I had advice on how to manage. I would rather not end up in a mental health ward. Being in this town is so hard, it also brings back so many bad memories. I just need to manage but numb the pain. It's getting real intense.

white knight Separating parents and child access
  • replies: 6

A divided family can be the most distressing time for the parents. It would be ideal if all separated parents could communicate and leave the anguish in the past- but it’s not common. So you’ve just separated and you have a child/children to your par... View more

A divided family can be the most distressing time for the parents. It would be ideal if all separated parents could communicate and leave the anguish in the past- but it’s not common. So you’ve just separated and you have a child/children to your partner. Once you confirm in your mind that the separation is likely permanent you should seek out a family law solicitor to apply for official access to your children. It doesn’t matter how well you get on with your ex, this step is to safeguard you for the entire time they remain a child till 18yo which could be many years and, people can change. If you have sole custody then you are entitled to child support unless the amount of time and days you have the children goes beyond a certain amount- read this in the SERVICES AUSTRALIA BASIC CHILD SUPPORT FORMULA. Authorities will encourage parties to come to an agreement so give that a try. My ex flatly refused, her right and move on. As my children were 7 and 4 when I separated, I had a long time to go with child support however my eldest when reaching 12yo came to live with me, one child each meant no child support was payable.Always keep receipts. In my experience some people can remain friendly and work as a team for any issues with their children however, it is in the nature of the parent whether this can occur. In my case my ex wouldn’t allow me to take my kids to parent and teacher nights for example as “I look after that” and my visitation times didn’t allow it. This is one example of shutting out one parent to raise the status of themselves. There is some horror stories out there on issues like this, don’t let them get to you, stay strong. If you are a dad and feel you need support you can write in here or visit DADS IN DISTRESS online. Here at Beyondblue we can help you with discussing depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Community champions like myself have lived experience in this field. I endured it, I survived and my daughter appreciated it. You are needed by your children, take care of yourself. TonyWK

Angela2021 Dad has anger problems
  • replies: 2

My dad has always had anger problems since I was a child - he gets stressed easily, very frustrated, emotionally and physically lashes out on everyone in the house. Sometimes I feel he can’t control it and other times I feel like he does purposefully... View more

My dad has always had anger problems since I was a child - he gets stressed easily, very frustrated, emotionally and physically lashes out on everyone in the house. Sometimes I feel he can’t control it and other times I feel like he does purposefully. I should also mention that he has had a heart bypass surgery and has high blood pressure (he’s on medication for that) and diabetes (also on medication). I’m not sure what to do, I know normal anger treatments won’t work on him so I thought it would be best for him to see a doctor and hopefully they can prescribe him some medication or behavioural therapy. I’m not even sure if there is a medication for anger problems. divorce is the last thing my mum can do unfortunately and I’m scared he’ll lash out on her if she suggests it and I’m scared he’ll lash out on me if I suggest him to go to a doctor. does anyone have some advice I guess?much appreciated, thank you

Skatie14 The grief is overwhelming
  • replies: 4

Hi, I have recently separated from my partner of seven years. We were due to get married in four months time and it turns out he’s cheated on me. He has cut contact entirely and I’ve had to move myself out of our home all the while trying to deal wit... View more

Hi, I have recently separated from my partner of seven years. We were due to get married in four months time and it turns out he’s cheated on me. He has cut contact entirely and I’ve had to move myself out of our home all the while trying to deal with the grief and utter sadness I’m feeling. I’m grieving the life we had and the future we had planned. He was my soul mate and we didn’t everything together for seven years. People keep telling me to do things that bring me happiness to distract myself but he is what brought me happiness. I feel like I’m drowning in sadness every single day. I miss him so badly despite what he’s done and I’m worried I won’t ever find someone to be my person again. I feel like my futures been ripped out from under me and I don’t know where to go from here. I’m hoping anyone could shed a light on how to overcome these feelings or someone who’s been through something similar could give me some reassurance that I can get through this. Thanks.

Melbourne_Aussie Parenting Issues
  • replies: 2

Hi,I am struggling to figure out if my x-partner is being a reasonable parent. He is a single parent and live a hour away from me, with two girls 5 and 11. My daughter is the 5 year old and about to start primary school. During this holidays I have o... View more

Hi,I am struggling to figure out if my x-partner is being a reasonable parent. He is a single parent and live a hour away from me, with two girls 5 and 11. My daughter is the 5 year old and about to start primary school. During this holidays I have only be able to have her over for a night. Every time I ask to have her, he always makes up a excuse why I cant have her over.1. Shes been naughty and will not clean her room.2. Shes been fighting with her sister.He does not want to reward her by letting me have her.3. She's not aloud to come over weekdays because hes getting her into a routine for school.This next excuse I received today, is what prompted me to post here.4. She's no longer aloud to sleep over whilst at school (Until next holidays) as she will be in a routine, but I can visit.I always get form him "I'm the parent, wish people would stop telling me how to parent"Am I going crazy or has he lost the plot?

white knight How many people do we need in our lives?
  • replies: 7

By "people" I'm referring to family and friends that we cant do without- a number? Well we can be raised to have many family and friends particularly those of Mediterranean origin. An Italian friend of mine has introduced me to so many uncles, cousin... View more

By "people" I'm referring to family and friends that we cant do without- a number? Well we can be raised to have many family and friends particularly those of Mediterranean origin. An Italian friend of mine has introduced me to so many uncles, cousins of cousins etc I've lost count. I envy those families that remain close. Alas, no so my family nor my wife's. In my family we have grown accustomed to think we need to be "all in" or "not at all". This stop and restart routine is what we are used to and frankly it's unacceptable. I have no doubt it is bipolar driven as those that come and go like a good southerly wind are indeed bipolar like myself. In the latest example a sibling has given me the silent treatment, an act that my ex wife was a master at... think she majored in it!. Nevertheless this is an act that is no of the adult world where talking should be your "first port of call" if you have a personal issue. Hence now at the age of 66 I'm no longer chasing the ones that run off wanting you to chase. Got a problem? deal with it direct or I'm not interested. I confided in a cousin I treat as a brother. He has 5 siblings. His take on the matter is "I have 4 brothers and one sister and you are the only family member I have out of the lot". He went on to say "how many family members do you need, I have you and thats enough". The message was a good one, if some family or friends treat you with contempt or make life miserable, embrace those that love you, care for you and not those that play emotional games. Life is too short for supplying them with the fun they seek at your expense. Are you trying to embrace family and friends that harm you? why? Please share. TonyWK

sibel Betrayal
  • replies: 2

It has been 8 months, i am still in this marriage… i contracted chlamydia, still suffering it is a infection that just wont go way even after treatment. Explaining such a thing to family is almost impossible, when i am still in denial (maybe) after 5... View more

It has been 8 months, i am still in this marriage… i contracted chlamydia, still suffering it is a infection that just wont go way even after treatment. Explaining such a thing to family is almost impossible, when i am still in denial (maybe) after 5 years of marriage or separation anxiety or attachment. my partner unreliable and is using toxic substances. I lost my job going through all this, i was terminated from my position due to arriving late. I had a car accident, thank god no one got hurt i hit a parked car although going court for it. I am unable to find a job and have this court case pretty soon, most likely ill be loosing my licence for two years ( first accident ). Im in a dark hole not knowing what to do.

BastetBC Ive lost desire and trust with my partner after his recent manic episode due to type 1 Bipolar
  • replies: 2

I need some advice. recently my partner has been discharged from hospital after a really bad manic episode where he was verbally abusive to me and made me fearful of him. He is sorry and now says he is fully devoted to me as I looked after him whilst... View more

I need some advice. recently my partner has been discharged from hospital after a really bad manic episode where he was verbally abusive to me and made me fearful of him. He is sorry and now says he is fully devoted to me as I looked after him whilst he was in hospital and also saved his job. when he was away I actually got my act together and joined a gym and Im starting to look after my health. Upon his discharged I told him I dont want to be in a relationship with him at the moment but I still love him, I feel a bit broken from the experience. He was agreeable at first but now he says he doesnt want to break up. Im really torn, Ive lost a bit of trust and desire for him but I dont want to hurt him cause he is my best friend. Also we had plans to look at moving to Victoria and now he doesnt want to do that but I do, my sister is there and I feel suffocated in Tas. I love him but Im miserable in or out of a relationship. Ive recently been diagnosed with BPD myself and I working through that. I dont know what to do

Beaser Im feeling like im so alone. Spoke to my ex partner.
  • replies: 18

Hi and best wishes to everyone. I am feeling so alone at the moment , i spoke to my ex partner last night it was a friendly chat and we are still friends. I just feel so alone with no family to turn too and not wanting to be a burden to friends who i... View more

Hi and best wishes to everyone. I am feeling so alone at the moment , i spoke to my ex partner last night it was a friendly chat and we are still friends. I just feel so alone with no family to turn too and not wanting to be a burden to friends who i have turned too before. I just wish we could be together again and i could do things differently . I am also not working at the moment so it just gives me so much time. I know that when you look back on relationships its easy to gloss over things . She is a carer for her elderly father who has been sick and i admire who for that. I just feel so alone i wish i could turn the clock back. I also feel scared off being alone forever. I know that ringing her may not be the best but i just miss her. I have a wide group of friends at my football club but i still feel so alone lately. Im not sure about where to turn. Im sad at the moment. Beaser.

11migal11 Financial abuse?
  • replies: 2

Dating for less than one month he told me "you don't need any money, you should be dependant on me" and demanded that we have a joint bank account. I refused.Though he couldn't afford to purchase a coffee one day and had to pull a second or third cre... View more

Dating for less than one month he told me "you don't need any money, you should be dependant on me" and demanded that we have a joint bank account. I refused.Though he couldn't afford to purchase a coffee one day and had to pull a second or third credit card to fund that while constantly relaying how I was weak or pathetic economically. I warned him that quitting my job would hurt me more mentally. He was jealous of my colleagues and wanted me to leave and would brag about his high wage and belittle me about being on support.He a truck driver and demanded I attend with him while neglecting my own job.When I refused he got angry and started stalking my co-workers he then said that if I went to work the next day he would tell my boss my problems with my job and get me in a pickle.I quit that job in avoidance of further potential issues. Tried to leave him many times.From there he went on to claim he was chivalrous and will pay for everything while also abusing anyone who accepted it later on while hiding his own spending.He wouldn't buy me what I wanted, just what he wanted me to have and often force it like expensive spa's I didn't want to go to and I knew he couldn't afford. I left while pregnant. Ive paid for everything while he refused to commit to official child support for over a year and paid nothing. I forced it and he deliberately over paid it to my account so that he could use it later to hold me accountable, this is what he does.Recently he spent $6000 on solar panels when he doesn't even own a house that he was to transfer to me for care of our son (his idea) while also shouting at me its not for our son? Then he spent it on himself.