Relationship and family issues

I feel so alone and mis understood

replies: 1

Hi all,I am new to this and a bit nervous.I feel so confused, everyone around me are making me feel so stupid and are all saying that I need mental help because of my way of thinking or how I feel. I know that I am an over thinker and I am working on... View more

Hi all,I am new to this and a bit nervous.I feel so confused, everyone around me are making me feel so stupid and are all saying that I need mental help because of my way of thinking or how I feel. I know that I am an over thinker and I am working on it. Every time I ask my partner a question, he says that it's an accusation. Like I heard a text go off at 1am so today I said " You got a text last night" and he is saying that the question is an accusation. I said that I wasn't at all, that I heard a text. That's all. He is saying that I don't hear the way I say this and if it wasn't an accusation, why say it at all.I really can't understand it. I feel so alone and misunderstood by everyone. They are all saying that I need to get help and I don't listen. I do listen but no one is saying what it is that I don't listen to. I am hurting all the time.Thank you all for your time

Deeply attached to toxic family

replies: 1

My family was abusive when I was younger. Verbally abusive in my teens. But now they just fight with eachother about money and what not. My siblings have gotten the worst from my parents. I didn't get much thankfully. They are all really religious, I... View more

My family was abusive when I was younger. Verbally abusive in my teens. But now they just fight with eachother about money and what not. My siblings have gotten the worst from my parents. I didn't get much thankfully. They are all really religious, I am secretly athiest. I am so afraid of being away from them. I'm afraid of the thought of living alone or losing them. They aren't good for my mental health. But I don't have anyone to turn to other than them for when I need help. I don't know what to do. Why do i want to live with them forever when they are so different from me? Why I am so scared? Why am I always scared?

mutual breakup with kids involved

replies: 2

Have recently split with my partner of the last 3 years,we were much inseparable from the day we first met.really struggling to cope with moving on after the separation,we got together and for the first 12 months things were great, there was so much ... View more

Have recently split with my partner of the last 3 years,we were much inseparable from the day we first met.really struggling to cope with moving on after the separation,we got together and for the first 12 months things were great, there was so much love, affection, sex and adventure, it was pure honeymoon stage that felt like it as never gonna end, then she got pregnant,everything changed,I had previously had a child with another lady who I have always had 50/50 care of, so from the moment we found out, my ex would constantly tell me that I wasn’t excited enough and that I’m ruining her excitement. for the rest of the pregnancy basically it was horror, we were getting along, she was very nasty,and I went into a full anxious state for the best part of 7-8 months, Once our little boy was born, things changed,they started improving,She would constantly apologise to me about how she was when she was pregnant, but there was always one issue that she would bring up saying I care about my daughter more than I do our son, When my son was about 6 months old things started really deteriorating again, to the point we wouldn’t have sex, wouldn’t cuddle, wouldn’t even talk, and when we did it was usually an argument. we had the odd drunken nights where it was almost like a one night stand with each other because as quick as the day changed the mood would go back to how it was. While we were together she was very open with her phone, she would leave it face up and let me use it to change chrome cast etc, then about 2 months ago it changed completely, it was always covered, always in her pocket, if I wanted to change a song while driving or a movie she would have to do it, felt very much like she was hiding something, yet she is in full denial, we got to a point about 3 weeks ago where we had a very emotional argument and threatened break up, but we ended up making up and having sex and things were good,then 2 days later things weren’t any good and so we mutually agreed to split, now we have split, I have both my kids 50/50, I found out last night she had another guy over, I know it’s not wrong on her behalf but I just feel like my hearts been tore into two,And I’m really struggling to remember how bad it was so that I can remind myself it’s the right decision to break up, I don’t know what I’m asking for, I just really needed the vent. mum not suicidal or depressed,Im just very sad, and feeling very lonely, and I’m not sure how to cope with it.

Failing at toilet training

replies: 6

I think this will be a pretty pathetic post but I don't know where else to turn for this advice. I asked Ngala and they just keep brushing it off. We have been toilet training our daughter since about January. Yep almost a year. She's 3.5 yo now We s... View more

I think this will be a pretty pathetic post but I don't know where else to turn for this advice. I asked Ngala and they just keep brushing it off. We have been toilet training our daughter since about January. Yep almost a year. She's 3.5 yo now We started with the book Oh Cr@p Potty Training. And some principles worked, but not in the 3 days everyone said it should. Or even weeks. Or months. So we bought the Big Little Feelings course and started from scratch. But months later we are still having accidents. Mostly wees are ok but it's always the poos. The worst part is that she just poos and isn't bothered. Doesn't tell us, we just realise when we smell it. So our last attempt over a couple of weeks now has been a reward chart. I don't like them in general but we are desperate. She starts school in a couple of months! They're going to hate this. And because I'm going through a pretty bad (unrelated, though this isn't helping) bout of depression right now, of course in my head this is all my fault. We have done everything right, we've never shamed her or gotten angry, we've made sure she understands. She's the most intelligent kid, I just don't know how we can help her get this. I'm desperate and just blaming myself so much

Step son is driving me mad

replies: 6

My step son is 18 years old, has has been the major source of our(My husband and I) arguments. I don't want him to live in our house any more since he is an adult and he has his barrages of issues which makes me doubting humidity. I'll explain this l... View more

My step son is 18 years old, has has been the major source of our(My husband and I) arguments. I don't want him to live in our house any more since he is an adult and he has his barrages of issues which makes me doubting humidity. I'll explain this later. My husband, although very much agree with me on those problems, insists that he stays with us no matter what. He came into our care at 14, by which most of his personality already formed. Neither of us knew that at the time, but he was impossible to live with. He lies, so much that I had to learn to question every single sentence he said. He'd lie about his friend gifted him something but it was actually he bought using the money he stole from our room, even the friend was a made up, as we never saw him hanging out with anyone. Like he said his shoes were broken but actually he cut them open to get new expensive($300-$500) shoes, the same goes for everything, pants, bikes, phones. And sometimes he lies without obvious personal gain, like he said he used the allowance for gift card but it was actually for food, sometimes he said he had rice for lunch but was actually a sandwich, he said he went out but actually stayed home the whole day, etc. those lies make even less sense to me. And as I mentioned a little above, he steals and have NO idea of the value of money. He doesn't earn a cent and he wants all the limited edition, high-end brands, not because the quality, but to show off online. And his logic goes: If I ask, you'd have refused to buy it for me, then what choice do I have, other than steal your money and buy it myself? I mean that's criminal's mindset and creeps me out. He lacks any form of respect and manner. He doesn't greet people unless requested, he'll curse, yell and say profane words with no remorse no restraint. He said to me and his dad that he'd (f word) our mothers because we cut him off internet. Other sayings even worse I simply can't repeat. And I really don't think he loves or misses anyone. Even his grand parents who love and took care of him for the first 14 years. He'd choose games over talking to them. I'm I a bad person thinking that? Because I kinda agree my husband has a point, he's not capable of making it by himself. He has the language/maths skills of a 4th grader, seriously tested. And he only graduated year 10 with no other certificates. And he refuses any learning/job because they requires certain commitment. In this case, what do I do?

Struggling

replies: 2

Hi, am new to this so learning as I go. Having a difficult time as my teenage daughter has decided she doesn't want to be in the home if her father is around. Admittedly our family has gone through a lot of ups and downs over the years but a recent s... View more

Hi, am new to this so learning as I go. Having a difficult time as my teenage daughter has decided she doesn't want to be in the home if her father is around. Admittedly our family has gone through a lot of ups and downs over the years but a recent situation has caused a massive upheaval. I am struggling because my daughter has decided to provide an ultimatum by telling me to choose between the two of them and if I don't choose her she is not returning home. I have never known anyone let alone my daughter to have so much anger within them, she's like a freight train whose brakes don't work and she is willing to wipe out anyone in the way of what she wants. I have spent the past few weeks almost non-stop crying and just needing 'noise' to keep my brain occupied. My sleep has never been great but have found it way more difficult to sleep lately and what sleep I do get is generally between about 3am and 5am. I don't know if she will get past this and it's breaking my heart. I have been told that I'm experiencing extremely high anxiety and stress and that I need to put some coping mechanisms in place but that's easier said than done! I'm afraid of....making a decision because I feel like I'm being led, pushed even, in a direction she wants.

Family, suppose to be our secure safe place,so why so hard ?

replies: 10

l'm 50s come form a huge family , scattered all over Vic and interstate.6 brothers, we mostly all get along well with no drama and all have our own lives. But it's great to see ea other whenever we do, this one or that one, only happens every yr or t... View more

l'm 50s come form a huge family , scattered all over Vic and interstate.6 brothers, we mostly all get along well with no drama and all have our own lives. But it's great to see ea other whenever we do, this one or that one, only happens every yr or two these days with most.Sisters, 6 of those too, 3 of are not worth contacting they're just too much trouble. The others l see here or there now and then or at a family thing every few yrs, good enough. Thing is though , l'm 3hrs away from most of them but there was also one brother 20mins form me, and also one sister too same area.They both manage to catch up with most of the family as they're both up and down from Melb and all over the place down there a lot. The sister's single so she has plenty of time to go visiting, or one of them is always inviting someone or other up to their place, and as l say, both their places are only 20mins over from me.l rarely get down to melb anymore and when l do it's usually work anyway and usually a huge day with nothing left by the time l'm done.l've also had a lot going on up at home with my d and my own life and mh problems too and so l just don't feel up to it anyway on that level either.l have to push myself to the end just to get through work l'll have to do. l also don't feel up to calling people much either, l'm in touch with a few family and outside of my own life and world, with a family the size of mine, l just don't have it left for for all of them, and most of them don't even call me anyway.Still , one or two l am close to do drop over when they're up here, which is always bloody nice. and we'll call a bit too. bUT ANY OF THE OTHERS THAT Do come up to the brothers place or the sisters, don't even bother calling me or telling me they'll even be up and in the area anyway.A few times l've actually gone over to one of their places myself to visit whoever it was that came up for a bit and say hello myself, when they haven't even told me they were up here anyway.l always to try to call at least a few of them at christmas too but no way l can get around to all of them. lt's just ridiculous though at this age , l mean for crying out loud what's to even be complicated butttt, it always is, it's crazy. There is though just one thing, about me and l'd have to assume really, bc no ones said anything. But l am fairly reclusive and l don't have much ph call energy either- or time really. ldk,maybe they all just know and think that, ldk. l do enjoy seeing some though when l do.

Moving out temporarily

replies: 2

TW! From the age of 9 i have been raped by my brother, it stopped when I turned 12, i reported it to the police and was undergoing therapy for the ptsd. Recently i told my boyfriend and he suggested that I move out and live with him instead . My pare... View more

TW! From the age of 9 i have been raped by my brother, it stopped when I turned 12, i reported it to the police and was undergoing therapy for the ptsd. Recently i told my boyfriend and he suggested that I move out and live with him instead . My parents aren't so keen on him and think he's bad for me but I love him. I know my mum wouldn't allow me to move in with him. I don't want to be at home with my brother anymore but sadly have no where else to go, so it's either stay in a house i feel scared and unsafe in or i disobey my mums wishes and move in with my boyfriend anyway.What should I do? Someone help me

Feeling unloved

replies: 1

I’ve been with my partner a little over two years, before him I was in a DV relationship for 19 years.Promised myself I would never be with anyone intill I healed and put me first…. Unfortunately that didn’t happen, when I meet my partner, I thought ... View more

I’ve been with my partner a little over two years, before him I was in a DV relationship for 19 years.Promised myself I would never be with anyone intill I healed and put me first…. Unfortunately that didn’t happen, when I meet my partner, I thought I finally met the man that understands me, my match. I explained what I had been through in my previous relationship, and wanted to take things very slowly, he was understanding and chilled with it all. Long story short, within two months he moved in with me cause the house he was in was getting sold, and he had nowhere to go. My children loved him, they all got on, it was pure bliss. Boy did everything chance after moving in, the first few months were perfect, but then he changed, there were no “good morning beautiful” or “I miss you” messages during the day, phone calls got less and less to the point where he ignores my calls now, doesn’t acknowledge my children, hides in the bedroom most of the time, I’ve tried to talk to him and resolve there’s situations, but it’s like I’m speaking a different language, he gets all overwhelmed and offensive then guilt trips me to the point where I’m apologising and feeling like a horrible person for even bringing it up, even though I said that communication is my number one thing and is very important to me as I didn’t have any of that in my last relationship, he also said it was important to him too, it broke my heart when I realised that this man was only out to use me and find somewhere to stay, he never loved me, he shows it more each day, when I come and sit next to him and chill he’ll get up and say some excuse but I’d find him sitting somewhere else not doing what he said he was gunna do… I know he’s no good for me, but I can’t seem to get him out of my life.

Advice on moodiness..

replies: 6

Hi all, new to the forums. 35, female, mother to 2. Recently came off my antidepressant around 2 months ago on advice from psychiatrist and GP as I started taking medication for ADHD. ADHD medication has been lifechanging for my adhd symptoms, but I'... View more

Hi all, new to the forums. 35, female, mother to 2. Recently came off my antidepressant around 2 months ago on advice from psychiatrist and GP as I started taking medication for ADHD. ADHD medication has been lifechanging for my adhd symptoms, but I'm now feeling extremely depressed. I'm moody, irritable, snappy and nasty. I have no tolerance for anything or anyone and it's affecting my relationships with my closest family members (partner, parents, children). I'm wondering if this is common, and how others cope, or if I should just go back on the antidepressants and take the ADHD medication as necessary.. I'm feeling extremely low, with a lot of self deprecating thoughts. My behaviour has caused my mum to recently distance herself from me as she has limited capacity to deal with how aggressive, negative and argumentative I'm being. We are very close generally and she is my confidant, sounding board, and rock, so this is difficult to deal with. I can't see my gp until 1/12, and I'm feeling at a loss. Sorry if this is not the right way to share or ask for support.. any advice or help is hugely appreciated.

Pinned discussions

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

replies: 0

All discussions

I feel so alone and mis understood

replies: 1

Deeply attached to toxic family

replies: 1

mutual breakup with kids involved

replies: 2

Failing at toilet training

replies: 6

Step son is driving me mad

replies: 6

Struggling

replies: 2

Family, suppose to be our secure safe place,so why so hard ?

replies: 10

Moving out temporarily

replies: 2

Feeling unloved

replies: 1

Advice on moodiness..

replies: 6

Relationship and family issues

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about replies: 0

I feel so alone and mis understood replies: 1

Deeply attached to toxic family replies: 1

mutual breakup with kids involved replies: 2

Failing at toilet training replies: 6

Step son is driving me mad replies: 6

Struggling replies: 2

Family, suppose to be our secure safe place,so why so hard ? replies: 10

Moving out temporarily replies: 2

Feeling unloved replies: 1

Advice on moodiness.. replies: 6

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

replies: 0

I feel so alone and mis understood

replies: 1

Deeply attached to toxic family

replies: 1

mutual breakup with kids involved

replies: 2

Failing at toilet training

replies: 6

Step son is driving me mad

replies: 6

Struggling

replies: 2

Family, suppose to be our secure safe place,so why so hard ?

replies: 10

Moving out temporarily

replies: 2

Feeling unloved

replies: 1

Advice on moodiness..

replies: 6