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Depressed not having another kid

Community Member

My partner and I have been together for over a decade, we have one young child together and live a pretty lovely life. Our child is the light of our lives, but I've wanted another for some time now (couple of years), but my partner does not. I found that when our child was 1 and I realised that I wanted another, I slipped into depression over the fact they weren't interested, it took me 18 months on a self journey to find peace in one child, but a recent event of an unwell family member has made me realise just how much I want a second, and I feel myself slipping back into that obsessive state. Partner is not interested in counselling, but I am looking into it for myself.

I've discussed this at length with my partner, and the reasoning is always the same. Don't get me wrong, I fully hear what they have to say, and I acknowledge and even agree that yes, things are a bit tight, physical family support is non existent and we would be starting again. Our kid is in school, they're happy, healthy and lovely to be around. We aren't old, but I am knocking on the 'geriatric' door if we were to have another. 

I don't know how to move past this. All my friends have 2+ kids, and I'm so happy for them, but it's just a slap in the face reminder every, single, day. How do I move past this? I love our triangle family, and I know having one means we could give our kid the entire world with no hesitations, but that pull for a second is deep.

1 Reply 1

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Flippy, a good post and understand the reasons for and not for in wanting another child, but with two kids they seem to be better off for each other, rather than just one child.

I realise the cost comes into it, but really when you have them this doesn't seem to be an issue, although expenses can be difficult, but we never look to long term and think that a baby is going to cost us $*******.

It's all about raising kids to be loving, respectful and caring with the object of having a good education because as we age, we need all the help from our kids as we begin to age.

You certainly wouldn't be too old to have another one and hope that your partner will see that with your child they are happy and the same will happen with the next, but please in the meantime get the counselling you need to make you more confident.


Life Member.