PTSD and Trauma

Life catching up with me scared to deal with emotions

replies: 4

Life has had many ups and downs starting 23 years ago with 1st child diagnosed with Lissencephaly making us full time carers 24/7..... that was tough but toughest thing happened 9 years ago when my husband losing 20 years of memories taking him back ... View more

Life has had many ups and downs starting 23 years ago with 1st child diagnosed with Lissencephaly making us full time carers 24/7..... that was tough but toughest thing happened 9 years ago when my husband losing 20 years of memories taking him back to before our family started..... I’ve had to be strong and keep each day going for the kids and him we still have our family but I’ve never dealt with what it means to myself what I’ve lost also while dealing with this all I’ve had 3 others kids to raise 2 with learning difficulties and adhd so been in and out of meetings, courts and everything else in between while keeping our family running We have also has 4 deaths in the family over 6 years and 2 friends taken one to suicide that’s broken me to who’s got time to deal with the emotions that come along with all this having no close social circle hurts to no one to chat to daily living remote sucks sometimes this year my dad died and I still haven’t dealt with that yet it’s too hard to let the emotions out incase they don’t stop wish I could of said goodbye Lost it yesterday hubby was looking at pictures and I felt lost, robbed, sad, angry even pissed off that we’ve lost so much of us it’s not the same only I remember our past and I feel robbed we can’t share these memories together yes we get to make more but our life together seems empty without these to share am I suffering ptsd or am I just lost in life quick run down on me gotta now put on smile and head to work thanks to anyone who reads this

Intense counselling session for PTSD has taken me back

replies: 3

I had a counselling session today with a new counsellor for complex grief and PTSD it feels like it has forced me back in a place that I don't want to be in. I had a panic attack after the session I don't like the way I'm feeling any suggestions or i... View more

I had a counselling session today with a new counsellor for complex grief and PTSD it feels like it has forced me back in a place that I don't want to be in. I had a panic attack after the session I don't like the way I'm feeling any suggestions or ideas to help please xx

Needing PTSD advice

replies: 5

Hi, A year and a half ago, I was randomly attacked on my property by a stranger. I attended V of Crime counselling for 3 months and felt ok..until 6 months ago I started drinking. Binge drinking.At first, just once a week, but now it's 2-3 times a we... View more

Hi, A year and a half ago, I was randomly attacked on my property by a stranger. I attended V of Crime counselling for 3 months and felt ok..until 6 months ago I started drinking. Binge drinking.At first, just once a week, but now it's 2-3 times a week. I hate it. I hide bottles and my son and partner are obviously worried. They want me to attend AA. I tried to find support groups for PTSD but can only find online support, not actual face to face support groups. There is lots of Anxiety meetings but most don't deal with PTSD. I am Bi Polar. You can see why the drinking needs to stop. The PTSD triggered multiple trauma I experienced under the age of 5. I just want to hear from others about how they deal with PTSD and alcohol abuse and would it be worthwhile for me to attend AA ?Thanks.

Reliving trauma from sexual abuse

replies: 3

Hi everyone, this is my first post so sorry if I break any rules, but I’m recently having quite a hard time dealing with thoughts about my sexual assaults from my past. With lots of people becoming more open about talking about sexual assault, it see... View more

Hi everyone, this is my first post so sorry if I break any rules, but I’m recently having quite a hard time dealing with thoughts about my sexual assaults from my past. With lots of people becoming more open about talking about sexual assault, it seems to be bringing up the memories more often. The first time I was raped was 8 years ago when I was 18 by my best friends much older boyfriend, and it was a complicated situation where I was blamed and received large amounts of abuse for it. I lost frienfs, and it was a hugely traumatising experience for me. Back then I was from a small town and the people around me didn’t understand that I was raped, they blamed me and said it was my fault. I dealt with it but it creeps up on me now and again. I’m usually good at dealing with my thoughts and getting on with life but recently I’ve been really struggling to stop thinking about it. My partner, the love of my life, is away on a work trip so I’m spending a lot of time alone and I’ve come to realise how much I repress my thoughts when I am with him as I only begin to feel like this when I’m alone and have time to think. Is this normal? When I’m with him I barely think about it. But now I’m alone it’s terrorizing me. But I never talk with him about it, he knows I have been sexually assaulted before but he doesn’t know any details, although the most recent assault happened while I was with him (I was assaulted by his boss’ wife at a party while I was black out drunk) and it was one of the only times we’ve ever argued, because he was trying to work out if he believed it was an actual assault or if it was consensual. Since then we haven’t spoken about it, and I see my abuser on a regular basis. It still hurts but I try not to think about it. Today I was triggered by a friends facebook post, where she was openly describing what happened to her when she was also sexually assaulted, and since then I’ve been going over and over both of the times it happened to me. I feel like I need help in managing my thoughts when im alone, because it seems that when my partner is around I am distracted and don’t give myself enough time to deal with my thoughts. I’m not sure if I’m just putting a block on my thoughts, or if him bring around helps me deal with it. I just don’t know. if he was here I wouldn’t be having these thoughts, but i had to get this off my chest and see if anyone else has some insight.

dermaphotagia

replies: 5

Dermaphotagia is a compulsive disorder associate with sever trauma, anxiety and depression. have been struggling with dermatophagia for a few years now and it causes lots of embarrassment and makes me uncomfortable. i find it extremely hard to explai... View more

Dermaphotagia is a compulsive disorder associate with sever trauma, anxiety and depression. have been struggling with dermatophagia for a few years now and it causes lots of embarrassment and makes me uncomfortable. i find it extremely hard to explain it to anyone when they notice my hands and i understand that therapy is the best treatment. i have alot of serious underlying issues with my family, and cannot afford therapy. i was wondering if anyone in here struggles with dermatophagia or has overcome it and has any tips to help combat it without therapy.

Accepting that I was abused [Trigger warning: sexual assault]

replies: 31

Hi, im 21 and a few years ago my current boyfriend raped me. A lot. After a lot of arguing over it he finally stopped. He also used to be physically violent. I have only come to accept that i was raped and abused recently. I cant have sex with him wi... View more

Hi, im 21 and a few years ago my current boyfriend raped me. A lot. After a lot of arguing over it he finally stopped. He also used to be physically violent. I have only come to accept that i was raped and abused recently. I cant have sex with him without having flashbacks and crying, i have constant anxiety around him. I love him and i feel its too complicated to break up, all of these things stopped because i did break up with him but we got back together. I recently had social workers come to my work to talk about domestic violence and i broke down crying and had to leave the room, i had forgotten all of the awful things he did but they made me remember and everything just plays on loop everyday in my mind. I look at him and just cant understand how he could do that to me. I have the worst anxiety ive had in years, i dont know what to do.

Looking for hope

replies: 12

Looking for some hope as I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle against PTSD. I’ve started doing exposure therapy along with CBT. I think I’m beating it for a few days them BOOM, I’m back on the starting line of this journey. I need to know that th... View more

Looking for some hope as I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle against PTSD. I’ve started doing exposure therapy along with CBT. I think I’m beating it for a few days them BOOM, I’m back on the starting line of this journey. I need to know that this constant exposure to my triggers is worth it as I don’t know if I can continue it without hope. I’m determined to beat it but I struggle because I’m a single mother of a little girl and I can’t find a balance of fighting this and still being a good Mum. I have no family in this country so it’s just the two of us and I sometimes feel that the avoidance is the better option for my daughters well being but I know that this is part of the condition which I so desperately want to overcome.

Supporting family through domestic abuse

replies: 6

This is my first time posting to a forum. I need support with a family abuse issue. My Dad had always had a temper and is a demanding man. Over the past year my Mum has been telling me she isn't happy, feels scared and wants Dad to leave. She said he... View more

This is my first time posting to a forum. I need support with a family abuse issue. My Dad had always had a temper and is a demanding man. Over the past year my Mum has been telling me she isn't happy, feels scared and wants Dad to leave. She said he is being controlling with money, yet buys whatever he wants. He has also tried hurting my sister a couple of times. Or goes days without acknowledging her. My sister is an adult but she has an illness and lives at home with Mum caring for her. About two months ago my sister texted to say Dad walked out. Then he started being difficult saying he was going to sell the house. Even had people to come out to have a look. I told Mum not to sign anything. And he tried to take money from the bank too. Dad was telling everyone Mum kicked him out. Then he gives her a sob story saying it's all her fault because she didn't tell him she was scared of him. And that he is now homeless and sleeping on the ground. So she lets him come back home. Now this upsets my sister, so Mum asks if she can stay with me for a little bit, because Mum said she is having a breakdown and can't cope. My Mum still visits my sister and my place every couple of days and cooks for her while I'm away at work. I also think she does this to avoid Dad. I think my sister being out of the unsafe place has made Mum back off though. She has never been independent, never worked and is too scared. But since my sister is safe from Dad she chooses to stay. However I don't want my sister living with me all the time because I find it draining. She never helps out with the house, always saying her illness makes her too tired. And my place is small. It's feeling too crowed and messy. I know she is safe at mine and I feel terrible because I don't want to live with her. We clash sometimes because we are very different. Ita starting to make me feel down. And I'm not sure how to talk to my mum and sister about this.

New psychologist......

replies: 65

Hi all Everyone welcome to have their input. This week I'm off to see a new psychologist. My previous one retired and I've been trying to find a new one. The last two were pretty average and didn't help me at all in what I needed, i.e. to get through... View more

Hi all Everyone welcome to have their input. This week I'm off to see a new psychologist. My previous one retired and I've been trying to find a new one. The last two were pretty average and didn't help me at all in what I needed, i.e. to get through episodes of PTSD, anxiety and depression. So, how am I feeling? While I've been waiting for my appointment, I've become very active in writing in BB. This has helped me to realise how - NOT ALONE I am. While it's not good for those of you who are experiencing these episodes, I do take comfort that help is at hand. So, what am I afraid of? That I have to retell, relive, re-experience my trauma(s). Yuk, oh yuk. However!! When I started with my last (good) psychologist, she did not need me to retell, relive, re-experience my trauma. It was good enough for her that I had already opened up everything and explored all the hidden secrets with the previous psych! So it was easy for us to move on to 'identifying those things I was currently experience', 'what processes I needed to put in place to move on', 'get in touch with my inner child and give her the comfort she'd never had'. So, what does this Thursday have install for me..... Hopefully, if he's worth his weight in gold, i'll not need to open up the scabs that have closed and healed. That we'll move on to how to proceed being retired, no longer working, suffering bouts of PTSD, anxiety and depression. So keep your fingers crossed for me.... Will let you know how I go (BTW, my GP says he's very good ) Here's hoping!! Kind regards PR

32 Male, family, losing grip of life- my fault

replies: 2

Hi All, I am very new to this. I'm 32 I have 4 beautiful children and a beautiful wife. I've had sciatic pain for the last 4 year. 2 operations and now extreme pain again after catching my 3 yr old daughter as she fell from the playground . I was bea... View more

Hi All, I am very new to this. I'm 32 I have 4 beautiful children and a beautiful wife. I've had sciatic pain for the last 4 year. 2 operations and now extreme pain again after catching my 3 yr old daughter as she fell from the playground . I was beaten by my stepdad when I was 9yrs old until 12yrs.( I told my mum and she kicked him out) I was sexually assaulted when I was 7 by my neighbor which I didn't tell anyone until I was 24 due to feeling I was going to be judged. I'm now after all this time, i'm losing at life, losing grip of my marriage and everyone else close to me. My anger is a problem. My pain is stopping me from sleeping properly. I don't know what to to. I have engaged in a psychologist, I've had one session so far. Any advice would be greatly appreciated Regards

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Life catching up with me scared to deal with emotions

replies: 4