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BeyondBlue Hi! Read this if you are not sure what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Beyond Blue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. Beyond B... View more

Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Beyond Blue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. Beyond Blue also recognises the complexities of identity and that people may identify with more than one community. Depression, anxiety and suicide can affect any of us at any time – regardless of our culture or background. We also know that a range of factors can make it harder for people in some communities to seek and access support. This section is for members born overseas, are the children of parents born overseas, have a language other than English as your primary language, or come from a family with mixed cultural heritage and want a specific space to share their experience. Please be aware that posts on the Beyond Blue Forums may contain discussions of suicide, self-harm and/or traumatic life events. As per our Forums guidelines, please be mindful when posting about the level of detail you share on these topics as it can be upsetting for other members. We look forward to hearing your stories. Beyond Blue

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Ann_from_the_west Muslim girl that used to self harm
  • replies: 3

I used to self haram from the ages of 13 to 15 and I’m now 20. I’ve been clean for 5 years but every time I get really low I start to think about self harming. I feel as though I can’t talk to anyone about it, I feel lonely at times because of my rel... View more

I used to self haram from the ages of 13 to 15 and I’m now 20. I’ve been clean for 5 years but every time I get really low I start to think about self harming. I feel as though I can’t talk to anyone about it, I feel lonely at times because of my religious background and i know there’s no one who would understand. I have a lot of family pressure and I’m not doing good in university, and having trouble saving money because I have to pay for bills. My mum is often hard on me and I’m struggling a lot with my mental health. Although I act and look like a normal happy young adult. I don’t want to talk to my mum about how I’m feeling because when she found out I was self harming when I was 15 she looked down on me and I feel a great deal of shame. I’m honestly so lost! I don’t know what to do with my life. I’m scared that I’m going to be feeling the same years down the road. If suicide was an option I would 100% take it, but religiously we believe that “people who commit suicide go to hell”. im just wanting some advice and want to know what I can do to stop me from having these thoughts!!!

james1 Christmas and New Years without family
  • replies: 6

Hello everyone, To me, Christmas is family time and time spent with loved ones. Unfortunately, most of my family are overseas in China, my immediate family here is split (father and mother divorced) and my partner is overseas on a holiday since I had... View more

Hello everyone, To me, Christmas is family time and time spent with loved ones. Unfortunately, most of my family are overseas in China, my immediate family here is split (father and mother divorced) and my partner is overseas on a holiday since I had to stay home to take care of my dad's dog. So it's been quite a lonely holiday period for me. Yet, I imagine it must be even harder for those who live here on their own with no family here, for whatever reason. I have tried to do as many things as possible with friends, but it's still quite a sad time for me. Does anyone else feel similarly? James

ferrerorocher A mum and wife with no emotions.
  • replies: 8

I am a 29 year old mum of 2 boys (aged 4 and 2) and am pregnant with a #3. I have a wonderful husband and his family is loving and supportive. My parents live overseas and things with them have always been up and down, especially with my mum, but I w... View more

I am a 29 year old mum of 2 boys (aged 4 and 2) and am pregnant with a #3. I have a wonderful husband and his family is loving and supportive. My parents live overseas and things with them have always been up and down, especially with my mum, but I will explain more later. I grew up in a strict Malaysian home - my mum was very controlling and overbearing and probably depressed herself. My dad was always working and worked overseas for a few years where I'd only probably see him once a year, so it was just mum and me in our strained,sometimes toxic relationship. I was a volatile teenager and spiralled from self harm to eating disorders, and also found myself falling into a cycle of bad relationships + sexual abuse. I was never diagnosed with depression back then (because it was taboo and my parents would not even speak of it) but there were certain points where I was suicidal. Moving to Australia provided a fresh start but I found I could not break the cycle of bad relationships and alcohol abuse. It was only when I met my husband that I realised if I wanted to get my life back on track, I had to change. I cleaned up my act and we got engaged/married/had kids etc. But something I never 'healed' from my condition but rather 'shut down' a part of myself so I could function. Basically, I think that I've removed emotions from my life as it was the emotions that made me impulsive and depressive. So now, while I get by, I'm an emotional void and I feel a general disconnect, even from my husband and kids. I barely look anyone in the eye now let alone make emotional connections. My husband is understanding and we co-exist well, but my love is not there. I don't feel love for my kids either, like I do have a strong sense of responsibility over them and I do my best to do things to show that I care, but I can't connect to them on a deeper level. I particularly feel estranged from my elder son, like he can sense my disconnect and is in turn, disconnecting from me. Though he likes to ask me to play with him and I do sit and try but I feel like I am continuously failing his emotional needs. I get angry with him a lot as well, over stupid things, and I try not to express it too much but sometimes it gets the better of me - I've punched a couple of holes in our walls. My younger son is a very touchy feely kissy toddler who is probably the only person at the moment I am connected to, though it may be because of the breastfeeding bond (he only feeds once at bedtime).

TunaMayo Hi everyone!
  • replies: 2

Hello all, I have seen a few forum posts throughout the year and I feel like it's time for me to make an account to ask advice for my anxiety/depression and hopefully help others. Some background on myself: - I suffer from anxiety and depression - I ... View more

Hello all, I have seen a few forum posts throughout the year and I feel like it's time for me to make an account to ask advice for my anxiety/depression and hopefully help others. Some background on myself: - I suffer from anxiety and depression - I was suicidal at the end of 2016 (despite nothing major happening in my life) and ended up seeing a psychologist from a GP reference. I started taking anti-depressants and I was sceptical at first but it actually worked. - After taking anti-depressants on an ongoing basis, I found a job while being a student. It was great. - Was able to get rid of my driving phobia. It was a harsh journey of being behind the wheel, sweating and shaking with lots of worries in my mind but I managed to pull through with lots of practice. Now I can drive anywhere! Not everything was positive though, I had a few issues and some that will never be solved: - My parents doesn't understand what depression is, even after explaining it to them in their native language. It has been 2 years since I've been to the psychologist and they still don't understand. - Months later after I coming off anti-depressants, I felt it was back again. I took anti-depressants again which made me realise that I can't live my life without it and I am somewhat doomed to be stuck with depression for the rest of my life. - I am Asexual, I would like to have friends without romantic feelings involved - which I then try minimise human interaction and distance myself. I end up feeling lonely but it is for the sake of them to not develop any feelings towards me which would highly likely break our friendship. In addition, I'm an introvert. I'll probably have near to no friends at this rate. I'll be lurking around these forums and posting time to time. I hope we get along!

james1 We do not fully understand each other's culture
  • replies: 4

Hello, I am in a relationship with a scottish born and raised woman, who moved to Australia as an adult. I am an Australian born and raised man with Chinese heritage. One of the things I find really difficult, and to be honest always have with other ... View more

Hello, I am in a relationship with a scottish born and raised woman, who moved to Australia as an adult. I am an Australian born and raised man with Chinese heritage. One of the things I find really difficult, and to be honest always have with other ex partners, is to have a relationship where we truly understand and accept the differences we have that arise from cultural differences. It is hard to explain them, but it often feels like we just have different points of view and different ways of thinking that are embedded very deeply. Since they are difficult to explain, it is also difficult to communicate about. If we have an impasse, it's like the only way I can explain my point of view is to say, "my background is Chinese and yours is Scottish." And for me, it feels like a bit of a cop out because we still do not understand each other and I find that very difficult. For example, it is not enough for me to say my family is poor and from the country, because there are also poor country Scottish people. I can't even say and we value family, because so do many Scots. So I am always just left with no way to explain my way of thinking, and why I think it. Perhaps there's no actual way to explain it? If so, I find that really hard to deal with on a personal level, because I want to be understood by my partner/family/close friends. Does anyone else feel similarly? James

Jena_ Seeking advice for anxiety treatment
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, I moved to Australia few years ago from the middle east where mental health issues are stigma and never discussed. I realise now that I have anxiety and I am trying to learn about it and seek treatment. I grew up with an abusive mother w... View more

Hi everyone, I moved to Australia few years ago from the middle east where mental health issues are stigma and never discussed. I realise now that I have anxiety and I am trying to learn about it and seek treatment. I grew up with an abusive mother which has left me with many emotional scars. I am posting here to ask for any advice and recommendations on how to start dealing with anxiety and first steps to take. My current health insurance plan doesn't cover any councelling sessions and I am finding it hard to find affordable options. I am not even sure if that's where I need to start?. My GP said they could give a prescription for anti anxiety medication but I am reluctant to start taking medicationas before I've discussed it with a counciler. Thanks in advance for your advice. Ive read many of the threads posted on this forum today and I am impressed by the amount of support given. Thanks everyone for your support and help. Jena

Confused189 Afraid of Losing my child
  • replies: 5

I took up part time work for my husband hoping to help. However I could not cope and said so multiple times but he would not hire anyone else. He kept complaining about my quality of work and ak the while i was just trying to hold it together for the... View more

I took up part time work for my husband hoping to help. However I could not cope and said so multiple times but he would not hire anyone else. He kept complaining about my quality of work and ak the while i was just trying to hold it together for the sake of my 2yr old.. things came to a head and he started taking it out on me by being nasty to me every word he speaks to me begins offensive language and insults.. husband has closed me off emotionally. He hits me and then pretends that he did so because i hit him.. i am scared.. he hits himself and blames me..Every time I protest the way he treats me, he trlls me to shut up and threatens divorce.. and he warns me that my child will be taken away. Presence of mother in law is making things worse.. i am afraid.. i want to correct our relationship but i end up trying to protect myself when talking to him.. he doesnt help with anything around the house but i don't mind as i have no job..but i just want him to stop being so nasty to me cant have a toxic environment for my child please help

Psalm125 I just wanna go, i'm so tired of life.
  • replies: 7

I'm 18, of Asian ethnicity, and i just graduated from high school. I finished my last exam thinking i could spend time with 'her'. But it was news to me, 'we need to talk'. From there everything went downhill, i was dumped. I haven't been able to eat... View more

I'm 18, of Asian ethnicity, and i just graduated from high school. I finished my last exam thinking i could spend time with 'her'. But it was news to me, 'we need to talk'. From there everything went downhill, i was dumped. I haven't been able to eat properly which is extremely bad due to the eating disorder i have (i'm already borderline anorexic). I'm a coward, i say i want to kill myself but i know i won't. I'm scared of dying. I did everything right, i made promises that i kept, i made sure she felt loved, i even reminded her how much she meant AND i pushed her out of her shell. And in a flash, she just abandons me. I don't get it. What is wrong with me? Was i not enough? "I don't want to be tied down to a relationship she says". Sure. I respect that. But how dare you have the audacity to message me fake 'i love yous' with a straight face. What did i mean to her? Was i just another pawn in her game? All the things she wanted. A future with me and 'kids'. And so i tell her, i'm gonna study hard for the exams and we won't be able to talk for a while, 'please wait for me'. And guess what she doesn't. Did i do something wrong? Someone tell me please. I put 200% into this and i get nothing back? She's not a bad person, she's amiable but at the same time, very gullible and too needy. This was my first relationship, and it'll probably be my last one for a while. I just don't understand why she's so willing to let this all go when we made so many promises. She stole my first kiss, and now it means nothing? She led me on, and now she wants to quit it? I really don't want to generalize the female gender but are all girls like this? I kept our photobooth films on my beside every night. I looked at them, thinking to myself, aren't i lucky to have someone that appreciates me as a person? Just peering at them made me feel loved, it's as if those two strips of paper had the ability to immediately alleviate all my stress. But now, i just want to burn them. They mean nothing and they meant nothing. She 'liked me?' That should have been sufficient to terminate the excuse of not wanting to be 'tied down in a relationship'. I don't know if i'm being selfish, but SHE entered my life, and now she just walks out, ripping my heart to shreds when it had been so heavily pampered. Someone please help me deal with this. Thinking about this saps both my strength and my appetite. I'm just about ready to leave this unforgiving society. There's not much left to live for.

The_Patrician Any fellow Serbs here?
  • replies: 1

I am a fellow Serb but am yet to find anyone who is willing to chat about mental health due to the stigma in our culture. I want to let you know that you aren't alone out there so if you would like to chat let me know. Thanks.

I am a fellow Serb but am yet to find anyone who is willing to chat about mental health due to the stigma in our culture. I want to let you know that you aren't alone out there so if you would like to chat let me know. Thanks.

james1 Shame about my heritage
  • replies: 22

Hello everyone, I have a very short story here which I would like to share where I was made to feel shame about my Chinese heritage. I have experienced this a lot, and (un?)surprisingly much of it is from my own parents. If you have any stories of yo... View more

Hello everyone, I have a very short story here which I would like to share where I was made to feel shame about my Chinese heritage. I have experienced this a lot, and (un?)surprisingly much of it is from my own parents. If you have any stories of your own, I really welcome your posts. -- My mother's family come from a little suburb in Guangzhou. It is quite a small, poor area, and it constantly reeks of sewerage and just rotten things. My mother was born there in a house that her father, my grandfather, built. Anyway, we were having a chat in the kitchen here one day and my mother said something that made me quite angry. She said, "I will never take my fiance back to my home. And you shouldn't take your girlfriend there either. It is too gross, and she will judge you." I may not have been born there, but it is where I am from. The smell is gross, true, but I have been back to that house every couple of years for my 26 years. It is where my roots are, even if I live in Australia. Why should I feel ashamed about the poverty of my past? I feel ashamed about the behaviour of many people from home, and perhaps it is none of my business, but I will never be so ashamed to not show my loved ones where I came from. --- Have any of you also been made to feel shame or embarrassment about where you come from, whether you feel it was right or wrong? Alternatively, is there something that you do feel shame about? Don't worry, we are not judging you nor your cultural background James