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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

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guest75 I am so confused
  • replies: 4

This is the 3rd time i've posted this, i think the first time my session timed out before i posted but the 2nd time i got the message that it had gone through but its never showed up and that was over 2 days ago so apologies if it that one appears al... View more

This is the 3rd time i've posted this, i think the first time my session timed out before i posted but the 2nd time i got the message that it had gone through but its never showed up and that was over 2 days ago so apologies if it that one appears along with this one... Earlier last week Tara sent me quite a nasty email basically threatening my access to the kids because i took them out without my mother to a fun park when the "parenting agreement" stated i couldnt do that alone until May. It also stated I wouldnt be allowed to take them to the night procession of the easter fair on saturday night because it wasnt recorded in the mediation agreement even though we had discussed it and agreed on it. She also asked for Kate's mum's number to talk to as that was agreed in mediation she would talk to her before the kids stayed there... I didnt answer for 4 days and when i did i asked nicely to take them to the procession and told her there was no need to ring Kates mum as we were seperated and the kids would no longer be going there... her response has me totally confused She responsed saying that its fine i take them, and that if i needed any help in seeing the kids while my mum is overseas for 2 weeks to let her know and she would see what she could do to help me out...Why is she suddenly being so nice? Please dont judge me for this as i have already judged myself and am very angry at myself, but i've come to a realisation that i am still in love with Tara and would take her back given the chance despite everythign she has done to me....I think this is why it didnt work with kate, because she wasnt Tara... How dumb am i? seriously, i know its stupid of me, but i still want to be with her...Im a glutton for punishment

Harry1989 I need help to deal with and process these things that are haunting me.
  • replies: 22

I'll start from the start. I really need to get this out before it completely consumes me. My problems like most start with parents splitting up. Mine didn't have an amicable separation to say the least. My memories of that time were mum not at home,... View more

I'll start from the start. I really need to get this out before it completely consumes me. My problems like most start with parents splitting up. Mine didn't have an amicable separation to say the least. My memories of that time were mum not at home, dad supposedly in jail and not going to school. They both had problems with drinking and it led them to be violent to each other. I remember countless birthdays of mine ruined by arguments and fights. It got to the point where my father had attempted to kill my mother. I didn't know about this until years later because I was protected from what was going on because I was the youngest of 2 children. My older sister dealt with what was going on then - not to say it's any better that she had to witness it but she at least had the opportunity to come to terms with what had happened because of which. There were multiple years that this continued and I feel like I didn't have the support to really grow up. I feel like I havent had any positive role models. Following the separation of my parents my mother got with somebody else, my father decided to stop working and abandon the life he had in Sydney to move back to the country with his elderly parents. Even typing that out makes it sound ridiculous. He used multiple excuses to pretty much justify him not working, living with them and excessively drinking and having no contact or relationship with me or my sister. I had a very close relationship with my father for quite a while. I had moved down to the country with him at the time. Needless to say that his parents (my grandparents) didn't exactly get along with me that well. We always argued and I ended up leaving and coming back to Sydney. My mother was then (unknowing to me) pregnant with my half sister. I was excluded from the news and was pretty much the last person to find out due to my attachment with my father. I was just expected to be all fine with it - when at the point it was too far gone to hide it anymore. (baby bump) My mum had been with that guy for quite a long time. 13 years I believe. Now they've split up and it's deja vu. Mum is out all the time and is clearly out with someone else. I was lucky enough to have a supportive partner. She had pretty much come to live with me - because of my desire to spend time with her and the circumstances she was in she didn't have a place to stay for a little while. We discussed a future. We had made jokes about the things we would say to our kids. Our relationship was great and blissful. So much time together doing what we wanted to do. Things had been crappier than usual as of late. I've been really unmotivated and feeling down about everything. To the point that I don't really feel motivation to leave the house. Which is stupid of me to bring in to a relationship.. But I addressed that issue with her last week and I was trying my hardest to make a change. Then on saturday night when we got in to bed I asked her whats wrong with the intimacy in our relationship and it escalated in to being that she doesnt want to be with me anymore. I felt completely blind sided by this. I feel like I have been living a dream since then because none of it seems real. She told me she still loves me and I still love her but I can't continue to feel like this. I'm alone and I'm very afraid of it. I know people are supposed to be okay with being alone but I don't want to be. I don't want to dwell in my thoughts.

Eastendboy Over it
  • replies: 2

My son passed away in my arms. I got divorced. Diagnosed with manic depression. For me life sucks badly. I am finding it hard to cope. Finding it hard to survive. I feel sad and want to sleep forever. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often ... View more

My son passed away in my arms. I got divorced. Diagnosed with manic depression. For me life sucks badly. I am finding it hard to cope. Finding it hard to survive. I feel sad and want to sleep forever. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

EllieB85 lost..alone..need advice/a point in the right direction
  • replies: 2

Not sure if anyone will read this, but really don't know where else to turn for advice. I am a 28yr old mother to 1, and am about to embark on a very much unwanted separation from my fiance. After going through post natal depression and making it out... View more

Not sure if anyone will read this, but really don't know where else to turn for advice. I am a 28yr old mother to 1, and am about to embark on a very much unwanted separation from my fiance. After going through post natal depression and making it out on the other side, my fiance and I have come to the realisation that after all of my drama/anxiety/depression, we are no longer in love. Hence my next battle, I can feel myself slipping back down into that darkness, but with all of the other things I need to arrange, I dont have time to focus on that. Im sure others have been through a separation, but I dont know where to start. We have built a home which wont sell high enough to cover our loan, I wish I could stay in the house, but that is also unviable. My son starts school next year and I want him zoned for a certain school, but not knowing what my next step is, I cant enrol him anywhere. I work full time and require the support of my fiance, but he seems to have vacated the whole 'family' and doesnt care about anything. I am sure I need legal, financial, mental help.. but where do I start? Can anyone tell me that they did make it out on the other side of a similar situation? At the moment I feel like I am drowning and there is no light at the end of this extremely long tunnel. Thankyou in advance for any help

Dad_Matt I lost my 9 year old son. I can't cope.
  • replies: 10

We have our sons funeral on Monday. It's been 2 weeks since he passed away suddenly. I am so angry. A dad should be able to look after their children. I have a beautiful wife and 2 other boys. But I just can't cope. I can't sleep. I can't eat. And I ... View more

We have our sons funeral on Monday. It's been 2 weeks since he passed away suddenly. I am so angry. A dad should be able to look after their children. I have a beautiful wife and 2 other boys. But I just can't cope. I can't sleep. I can't eat. And I other than these view lines of insure I can't talk about how deeply broken I am. I feel like something is gonna give.

bethany-mc A year on.
  • replies: 1

Nearly a year ago I was raped, and I fell pregnant. As soon as my family found out, they sent me to the doctors and I got an abortion. I think about my little girl every day, and how much it hurts. I'll never get to hold her in my arms, kiss her, cud... View more

Nearly a year ago I was raped, and I fell pregnant. As soon as my family found out, they sent me to the doctors and I got an abortion. I think about my little girl every day, and how much it hurts. I'll never get to hold her in my arms, kiss her, cuddle her, nurture her. It's the most pain I've ever been through and although my boyfriend tries to help me through it, I'll never forget her.

Simone1974 My mum passed away late last year, finding it difficult to get on with life
  • replies: 6

My mum passed away late last year. I've really tired to get on with my life but I'm finding it extremely difficult. I seem to go through good and bad patches. Lately I've been feeling worse and worse. I'm just so depressed and exhausted all of the ti... View more

My mum passed away late last year. I've really tired to get on with my life but I'm finding it extremely difficult. I seem to go through good and bad patches. Lately I've been feeling worse and worse. I'm just so depressed and exhausted all of the time. I am on anti depressants and something to help me sleep and I don't even know if they are working or not. Just feeling horrible and I don't know what to do.

Light9 When is enough enough?
  • replies: 3

I have grown up in a household with extreme mental illnesses. Both my older sister and mother are bi polar and sister is schizophrenic also. I have never received the protection I needed or deserved. My father cares for both of them and is very close... View more

I have grown up in a household with extreme mental illnesses. Both my older sister and mother are bi polar and sister is schizophrenic also. I have never received the protection I needed or deserved. My father cares for both of them and is very close with both of them, all 3 have violent and aggressive/manipulative controlling ways. I have lived away for at least 10 years now. The last visit home (6 months ago) I was pregnant. I lost my child 2 weeks later after I was taken away in a mental health van (which my family called for). They could see I was perfectly sane and had the wrong person. My parents want to visit me suddenly this year (they have never visited me in 10 years before, I must visit them. I have told my sister I do not want contact anymore and I really don't want to see my parents either. I don't know what to do. I have been very suicidal and alone for many years.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Slrau My brother
  • replies: 3

6 weeks ago my life was turned upside down when my little brother took his own life. It came as a huge shock to me as there was no sign that he was suicidal at all. He was my only brother and just being the two of us, we were very close, I don't unde... View more

6 weeks ago my life was turned upside down when my little brother took his own life. It came as a huge shock to me as there was no sign that he was suicidal at all. He was my only brother and just being the two of us, we were very close, I don't understand how I never picked something was up. He tried to call me the night he ended it all at midnight but I didn't answer his call, I will never forgive myself! He had rang me often in the middle of the night just to wake me up, he thought it was funny. I assumed this was another one of those calls and thought I'd just speak to him in the morning. I will never speak to him again. I have 3 children, the youngest just 12 weeks old, whom he adored and they loved there uncle dearly. He was only 28. He was handsome, had a good job, no debts, great friends and had just started seeing a girl he seemed really keen on. I don't understand. Some of his friends have since come forward and said they think he suffered from anxiety and looking back on things he hadn't been himself for a little while, maybe he had a bit of depression. He was just so good at hiding it because like I said, I had no idea that things were this bad! I guess I'm just writing this to hear from anyone who has been in a similar position. I am devastated.

longers81 lost the love of my life!
  • replies: 4

hi,I'm 33 I've been in a relationship with a girl for the last two years she was from perth i was from sydney.last year in may we broke up i came home but we kept talking and we kept seeing each other through out the year id go there she would come t... View more

hi,I'm 33 I've been in a relationship with a girl for the last two years she was from perth i was from sydney.last year in may we broke up i came home but we kept talking and we kept seeing each other through out the year id go there she would come to sydney.she moved back in with me in december and everything was going amazing! then she cheated on me with some one she was seeing in perth when we had broken up and is now saying she has fallen out of love with me.and two days before this guy got to sydney we were so in love like i have never felt before i wanted to marry this girl.now she is saying she is going back to perth to be with this guy.im beyond devastated I'm so upset i don't know what to do? I'm so in love with her and i can't live without her she is leaving next week but already she dosent want to talk to me i don't know how this has happened I'm so lost and i miss her so much it hurts!!! every morning my alarm goes off and my first thought isn't **** i have to get up for work,its another day without the girl of my dreams! i can't sleep properly I am constantly thinking of her and them being together I'm going crazy! i really feel on day we will be together but maybe I'm dreaming.im sure people fall back in love and one day I'm going to get her to fall in love with me again. or maybe I'm just dreaming again please help