Hi Bethany.
I'm sorry that I didn't see this until today, and that you experienced such horrors.
Tomorrow is the 4 month anniversary of the miscarriage of my baby girl. I was 9 weeks pregnant, and I feel a very similar way you do. The feeling of being unable to hold our babies, to love them and watch them grow is something that will never leave us, regardless of the time that passes.
Maybe we're not meant to forget them, though. Maybe we're supposed to take these lessons that we have learnt, especially about ourselves and our capacity to love a little baby so much when we didn't even get the chance to show them, and apply them to our lives. The pain never leaves us, but perhaps it can serve as a reminder of the experience, and of our capabilities. I don't know. I've looked for answers in every corner of the world and all that is all I can believe, because I need to believe that this happened for some reason.
I wish you the best of luck with your journey.
Laura x
