I met with my psychologist yesterday afternoon. This is the first
session I've had with her where i was able to speak properly about
everything, without turning into a blubbering mess. It was also the
first session where I was able to look at my rela...
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I met with my psychologist yesterday afternoon. This is the first
session I've had with her where i was able to speak properly about
everything, without turning into a blubbering mess. It was also the
first session where I was able to look at my relationship with Tara
objectively, without just "wanting her back" as i had for the previous
5-6 weeks. She didnt say it in exact words, but she suggested that my
depression may have been brought on by Tara and the way she had been
treating me. Over the last 6 months of our relationship, she convinced
me to leave a job i loved and we had to relocate, when that job didnt
work out she assured me there was enough in savings for me to resign and
look for a new job. All the savings money was in her name so i was left
with no money and became a virtual hermit for 6 months as she kept
making excuses to not put money into my account, and because we only had
1 car i was left with no transportation. This had been happening (money
stuff etc) for approximately 2 years before we made the move Finding the
stuff on the computer that showed me she had been cheating on me was the
best thing that ever happened to me (as stupid as that sounds) as it
allowed me to see her for what she really was. Previous to that I was
always of the opinion i was lucky to have her, she was better than me
and i should be greatful. She will blame me for my moods changing for
our relationship breakdown, but i feel my depression and subsequent mood
changes were brought on by her actions towards me, turning me into a
prisoner in my own home. The releif i have felt since knowing it was
over has been undescribable, knowing its finished and being able to see
everything how it really was. My blossoming relationship with Katy is
also a fantasic feeling helping feel better, but even without that,
knowing that of my life is finished is pure relief. Has that happened to
anyone else, to have a person who you loved and lived with to bring the
depression on with their actions? Something i wrote last night, directed
at Tara You thought you won? You left me a broken man You left me with
no money You left me with no job You left me with no car You left me
with no home You left me alone Did you win? NO I have rebuilt myself,
and I am now a better man I have a job I have money I have a car And I
am now seeing a new lady, who, throughout our whole relationship, i
always wondered "what if" Now i can discover what if with her So thank
you for breaking me and causing me to rebuild myself, because i am now a
better man than i was