I'm scared I will never feel good again

peacock · ‎29-04-2014

hello out there. I have had a relapse of depression after stopping my medications and starting a new job. I have been on the meds 17 days now and felt better on the weekend but now feel dreadful again. nothing seems to be helping and I am scared I will never feel good again. can someone help me?

white knight · ‎29-04-2014

When the roller coaster hits bottom its hard to see it will rise again to the top- but it will. Older sufferers or those with illness for a long time can acknowledge this and wait for the cycle to rise, but it isnt easy. I'd reckon those that dont have that insight that produces the barest slither of optimism is in a bad place.

So I suggest to give it time, seek regular medical help and advice and have faith that you will be ok.

cyber hugs

White_Rose · ‎29-04-2014

Hello Peacock

Welcome to BB and thanks for trusting us to help you.

It seems from your email that there are two things for you to focus on. Your new job is a huge stressor no matter how enjoyable it is. In those lists of biggest stressors I believe moving house and starting a new job come pretty high on the list. Try to bear this in mind that it a huge part of your life and is bound to play a part in your depression. The good part is that as you become more familiar with the workplace, colleagues and work this stress will decrease leaving less to worry about.

The second thing is the return to medication. Having once stopped taking it there is a huge disappointment to restart. You may remember from when you first started taking meds that they take a few weeks to kick in properly. While this is happening you will probably have up and down days. Give it a couple more weeks and in the meantime talk to your GP/Psychologist/Psychiatrist or whoever prescribed the medication, for more reassurance.

The good news is that if the meds helped in the past they will probably help in this situation. Give it time.

Are there any other factors in your life contributing to your relapse? Sometimes it is a combination of events that triggers or re-triggers depression. I cannot why you would not recover, especially if you have a good support and help network. I do hope you have professional help. If you got over it once, try to remember how it worked and do those things that helped. Perhaps when you feel better you can write down the helpful things and make a practice of them all the time to avoid getting depressed again.

I would love to know how you are going. Please keep in touch.

Regards

White Rose

peacock · ‎30-04-2014

Hello White Rose

Thanks for your helpful comments - it sounds like you know what it is like. Today, I am feeling a lot better so I think my meds may be starting to kick in. I am on sick leave all week from work and have been trying to relax and do pleasant things. I plan to stay on meds for the rest of my life now as I never want to go through this again. thanks again for your comments, they were very helpful.

geoff · ‎30-04-2014

dear Peacock, White Rose has given you some great advice, which you have acknowledged.

There is always this problem that once people begin to feel so much better while taking their antidepressants, they believe that they don't need to take them any more, so they stop, which isn't the best thing to do.

They feel well because the AD's are keeping them this way, but as soon as they stop down they came and the depression starts again.

I know that if I go without my AD's for a day then I am useless, and even cry at an ad on TV, or anything, but as soon as I take it again within a a few minutes I start to feel well again, so I know that I will be taking them for the rest of my life.

Your sick leave must be because of not taking your AD, but give it time I'm sure that they will help you along, but just wait until the bounces in your mood settle down, and thanks for posting on this site. Geoff.

Mares73 · ‎30-04-2014

Hi Peacock I guess I want to reiterate there great advice you've been given, particularly by White Rose with her practical advice. It's true for almost all of us that starting a antidepressant is a bumpy road for a few weeks. Your symptoms may even feel worse until they medication levels reach their beneficial level. I've been on several & it took 4-6 weeks for me to feel a significant improvement. Also when you start them it's extremely common to get some side effects such as nausea, headaches, difficulty sleeping, increased anxiety & so on. Whilst this may not even happen for you-if it does try to keep telling yourself that it's just your chemical makeup adjusting & these effects DO go after about 3 weeks. I'm just reminding you of that possibility in case you do get some side effects-dont give up-remind yourself it's an adjustment period. One thing I did which really helped was to keep a small written "mood monitor". Basically I listed any side effects each day as well as any chances you notice in how your thinking & feeling. It's also a useful thing to have should you ever change medications & so on.And it is useful in that if your feeling no better around 4-6 wks you can let them Dr know & he/she may consider adjusting dosage or even trying a different medication. Try & get a small notebook & each evening write an entry re your various moods that day & any side effects. And it's courageous of you to recognise, accept & take action about your current depression. That shows what great strength, self knowledge & insight you have into your situation. And to be open & honest & not get bogged down by fears is another incredible strength you have-acceptance is often them most diffuse part of many people's journey-but you have admirable qualities such as humility, acceptance & determination despite their suffering your experiencing-to reach out before then sky turns black. Just a mention-if for any reason you couldn't see your current GP or feel time for a change to do a comparison -this site has a list of GPs everywhere who are specially trained in depression, have undertaken training by Beyond Blue & hence they are recommended by BB. Just thought you might want to get a second assessment by a specialist GP. They other thing is GP can provide a mental health plan which permits up to 12 sessions with a Psychologist under Medicare. Again-there is a list of recommended Psychologists & Clinical Psychologists. You may like to look at them list & read a few profiles. Take care & be good to hear back from you. Mares x

peacock · ‎30-04-2014

Mares, thanks for you encouraging words. I have told my boss that I will be off this week and she knows it is for a mental health issue. I do feel slightly anxious about people at work knowing I have depression/anxiety but I think it is best to be honest about it and hopefully this will decrease some of the stigma attached to mental illness. Surprisingly, I have told two people about my depression and they both acknowledged that they had suffered from it in the past and still do sometimes.

peacock · ‎01-05-2014

Dear Geoff, thanks for your post. I have been on antidepressants now for 19 days and have had some really good days and some bad days. I know from past experience that once they work I feel great but it is very hard playing the waiting game. Isn't is a shame that so many people in our society are suffering from depression and anxiety? it says something about our modern way of living I think. I swear I will never, ever discontinue my medication again.

hope you are having a good evening.

geoff · ‎02-05-2014

dear Peacock, thanks for getting back to us.

I am pleased that you won't stop your medication, but can I say that if the current medication has stopped helping you then you may need to have it revised by your doctor, or if the current dosage is again not doing it's job then you have to see whether it needs to be increased. Geoff.