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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Lehnah Competative Play and Dealing With Losing
  • replies: 4

I'd like to ask others here how they deal with losing at any form of comparative play. A few months ago my sisters boyfriend introduced me to Magic: The Gathering. For those that may not know, it's a collectible card game in you build a deck made up ... View more

I'd like to ask others here how they deal with losing at any form of comparative play. A few months ago my sisters boyfriend introduced me to Magic: The Gathering. For those that may not know, it's a collectible card game in you build a deck made up of spercific cards and battle others. There are thousands and thousands of variables that can potentially come into play depending on the deck you play against and your own deck. It is a very mentally taxing game, lots of strategy and you've no idea how the deck you have will play until you play it against someone. Anyhoo, I've been going with friends to Magic game night and I have been enjoying it for the most part. However, I find that if I have a bad night, say I lose each game or, even worse, get utterly smashed, I get really depressed and consider giving up all together. For example, last night I lost every game. I had a new deck that I had been working very hard on. My friends helped me put it together and make it better. We tested it against various deck and every time it went really well. Even if I didn't win, it was very close. Last night at the game night, though, I was thrashed. Utterly. Every game. What I experienced was a mix of anger at"wasting" all this time building the deck, having my friends help me with it and playing game after game with them to test it; frustration at having it perform really well in those test games only to get thrashed at the actual game night and depression thinking that everyone there probably thinks I'm a useless, rubbish player and if they come across me with think "this guy, he's crap. I'm gonna thrash him." It made me feel very worthless and I just wanted to get out of there and hide away. By the time I got home I'd calmed down a little. I was still somewhat depressed but decided to chalk it up to having a bad night and I'd try a different deck next week. It stuck me how affected I'd been by the experience, however, and wondered if it was indeed my depression coming through or I just didn't know how to deal with losing. I'v never been into sport or really any other kind of competitive play so I guess I've not had much experience with losing. So, the question is do you think my feeling were depression related, or related to my lack of experience and how can I deal with this in the future? Any advice would be much appreciated. Cheers.

rat17 Confused and rattled
  • replies: 2

A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and PTSD (I think this is what its called) anyway at first I could not accept it, took 18 months for me to absorb, reject and fight. Now I feel im in a world of my own. I feel people don'... View more

A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and PTSD (I think this is what its called) anyway at first I could not accept it, took 18 months for me to absorb, reject and fight. Now I feel im in a world of my own. I feel people don't understand what I say, lost within myself. Some days I go a million miles to the dozen others I struggle to motivate. it is such a roller coaster. I thought I hit rock bottom when I was diagnosed until a couple of weeks ago I was hospitalized due to a suicide attempt. Now I don't feel like im bouncing back, trapped. When I talk to my family its like watching there face go here we go again . Im just lost.....beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Glenslifeisnotgood Feeling utterly worthless
  • replies: 6

I'm Glen, 35 and yet again single. I would describe myself as (when I'm normal) funny, optimistic, helpful, caring and understanding, sporty and a good guy. In the last 10 years I have done my absolute best to be a great friend, a good worker and try... View more

I'm Glen, 35 and yet again single. I would describe myself as (when I'm normal) funny, optimistic, helpful, caring and understanding, sporty and a good guy. In the last 10 years I have done my absolute best to be a great friend, a good worker and try to hopefully have a wife and family of my own. However whenever I try to improve my current situation I keep getting crapped on ie started at a gym - got cancer, started a uni degree - job changed so had to defer, had a good relationship - out of nowhere she gets pregnant and wants an abortion (she was on the pill) and I got no say in it. That's just to name a few of the utterly terrible things that have happened to me over the last year but this kind of crap has been happening to me for the last 10 years. I'm seriously at a point where I can barely find a reason to keep going as everything I try just blows up in my face with crap that's out of my control. Apparently being nice nowadays means you get stepped on, being chivalrous and respectful to your girlfriend isn't bring a "real man", I'm so tired of waking up everyday and knowing if it wasn't for pain and suffering I would have no purpose in life at all. I saw the ad on tv for this so thought I'd give it a go before finding a permanent solution to end thisonce and for all, I've tried many different therapists who have told me to "keep doing what your doing" but when does the point in life come where it starts rewarding you with love and respect for doing the right things instead of continual suffering and heartache? help....please...Glen beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

JustTiffanyxo What if this is who I am?
  • replies: 4

Last night, I was watching TV with my partner (some WWE thing, not my thing, but he enjoys it so I watched with). Anyway, the episode/story we watched was quite emotionally charged, with the main wrestler having died very suddenly a few days after he... View more

Last night, I was watching TV with my partner (some WWE thing, not my thing, but he enjoys it so I watched with). Anyway, the episode/story we watched was quite emotionally charged, with the main wrestler having died very suddenly a few days after he got this big award or something. (not entirely sure) but all I know is that he died. Well that did it for me, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY, but tears started leaking down my face. I started to sob. My partner asks what's wrong? I tell him, I don't know. How can I tell him what's wrong when I don't even know myself? I sat down next to him on the lounge and he gave me a hug. I told him that I just don't know whats wrong with me, that I can't pinpoint one particular thing and say 'yeah thats it, that's why I'm sad". He gives me another hug, and says 'I don't know why you are depressed for, things aren't that bad." well holy crap the tears started pouring down even more. I said to him "so you don't think there's a reason for me to be depressed? or you just don't understand why i'm depressed?" Thank god he said the latter, but it still hurt a bit, you know? He's very black and white, if something doesn't fit, he just let's it go. I am not like this. There are so many different shades of grey between those black and white points. I over analyse things, where as he just makes a consecutive decision. I dwell, he moves forward. I have told him over and over again that if I could have just even a little bit of the strength he had to be able to live in a black and white world, my life would be so much easier. But, of course, that can't happen. I will never see things as black and white. What if this is who I am? A person who cries at the drop of a hat, who's broken, who has a mental illness. I'm spending so much money on medications and psychologists, and psychiatrists that it's starting to become a little overwhelming. Things aren't getting better. What if this is it. This is me, broken, unable to be fixed?

Chloekat84 Feeling Depressed and needin to Vent
  • replies: 2

Hello Everyone. Ive written on this site before. I have BPD and Dysthymia and feeling very emotional and depressed. I went to a emergency refuge clinic as I wasn't coping with anything at home and I had time to think and reflect about myself and didn... View more

Hello Everyone. Ive written on this site before. I have BPD and Dysthymia and feeling very emotional and depressed. I went to a emergency refuge clinic as I wasn't coping with anything at home and I had time to think and reflect about myself and didn't need to worry about my daughter as my folks were looking after her for a week while I was there. Then when I came out my grandma came to stay with me for 3 weeks as she heard I wasn't that well so she travelled all the way from Darwin. She leaves tomorrow evening and I feel very upset about it and know that im going to be completely on my own since I was in the clinic. To make things worse my sister is upset with me as she thinks shes not welcome here because one day she wanted to come over and said I was busy so she just said she'd see my dad and now she thinks im only going to want her company when my grandma leaves. Shes currently pregnant and very emotional so I think that may have something to do with it. Im upset about all of this and don't know what to do as ill be all alone and no one to talk to. :'( :'(

Small_Inside Feeling insignificant and worthless
  • replies: 2

I'm not really sure where to start. Just that I don't really expect this to accomplish anything, but that's my catastrophic nature, I guess. I'm 35 and I've struggled with depression for longer than I knew what it was, as far back as primary school. ... View more

I'm not really sure where to start. Just that I don't really expect this to accomplish anything, but that's my catastrophic nature, I guess. I'm 35 and I've struggled with depression for longer than I knew what it was, as far back as primary school. I have only been on medication for about 2 years now. I have trouble sleeping and feel tired ALL the time. My story is not that dramatic. The more I read people's stories and see the things going on in other people's lives and what they have had to deal with, the more I think that what I feel is totally unreasonable and selfish, and I can't seem to break that pattern of thinking. My life is okay, there's nothing remarkable about me. I'm employed (though not in a job I love). I grew up with a single parent (mum), who loves me. We were not well off, but had what we needed. My mum and at least one of my sisters have also struggled with depression. I try not to burden them when I have bad days because I know they struggle too. And there's the cowardly part of me that knows I'm not particularly good at dealing with other people's emotions and I feel totally unable to handle their situations on top of my own. That makes me feel even more worthless and selfish. How can I expect them to be there for me when I feel I can't be for them? Another example of my cowardly nature concerns my grandfather who is very sick and has been for some time. I don't go to see him very often, and never by myself, because I feel so uncomfortable there now. I know this upsets him because his family is everything to him. My mum called me tonight at work to tell me he had had a fall and was in the hospital. Tomorrow he goes into surgery and no-one is sure that he will come out of it. Apparently Pop was asking to see me and wondering why I didn't go to see him as much as the others do. The thought of having that conversation with him is terrifying to me. I got off the phone and was in tears, thinking about how awful a granddaughter I've been. He is suffering a lot more than I and I can't get the courage to give him the one thing that keeps him going, though all others around me can. What does that say about me as a person? This post was supposed to be cathartic. I appreciate your time if you've managed to work your way through this pity party.

Jo3 Depressed with my life - confused
  • replies: 5

I have been dealing with a lot of issues lately and it's been tough. I am married (28 yrs) and have 3 adult children (22,21,18)I don't know how to start so I will just blurt it out - I don't know if I still love my husband. Don't even know if I am 'i... View more

I have been dealing with a lot of issues lately and it's been tough. I am married (28 yrs) and have 3 adult children (22,21,18)I don't know how to start so I will just blurt it out - I don't know if I still love my husband. Don't even know if I am 'in love' with him still. i know people change and i know i have changed a lot in the past 4 yrs dealing with childhood sexual abuse, depression, anxiety and borderline personality disorder. i have confused not sure if i should stay or go; i do have good times together sometimes but thereseems to be a lot of pressure and it's causing me to withdraw from him, my family and friends. i need to stay on here to chat to others because i feel so alone; does anyone have any advice or have any of you felt like me before. what should i do to try to work out what i want? i am scared of the future; i am scared of where i am in my mind right now.jobeyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

2iceShy Sleep it off?
  • replies: 5

Does anyone else sleep off their depression? Some people drink, some people take drugs. I do neither. But when im feeling low, all i want to do is block out the world & sleep. I feel guilt for this. Days will go by & all Ive done is sleep, eat and wa... View more

Does anyone else sleep off their depression? Some people drink, some people take drugs. I do neither. But when im feeling low, all i want to do is block out the world & sleep. I feel guilt for this. Days will go by & all Ive done is sleep, eat and watch TV.

LaurenCecelia Depressed, going through a breakup and just broke my leg.
  • replies: 5

Hi guys, I was diagnosed about a year ago with depression, after struggling for many years prior to that. I'm undertaking counselling and taking anti depressants and have good days and bad days. I'm working full time, and studying part time. Recently... View more

Hi guys, I was diagnosed about a year ago with depression, after struggling for many years prior to that. I'm undertaking counselling and taking anti depressants and have good days and bad days. I'm working full time, and studying part time. Recently, I went through a breakup of sorts. I say of sorts as I'm talking about the first person I ever really opened up to, and the person who encouraged and helped me to seek help. We broke up for a period before I was diagnosed when I was overseas, however we have continued talking for the majority of the time, and for the past year he has been helping me cope with living with depression. He's the only way that I normally go to when I'm down, and he often helps get me out of my rut, purely by just being there. A couple of weeks ago he told me he just wasn't feeling the same, and thought we should stop seeing each other romantically, however he still cares about me and wants to talk to me (which I don't quite understand). So understandably, I was quite upset about that, and it also happened the week before my mini thesis for my masters was due. My nonna was also in ICU at this time, so I was having a rough time there too. so that's what I've been trying to deal with recently, and I was coping through getting out and exercising, and seeing friends. however, one week ago I broke my leg. I was hospitalised for 5 days as I requires surgery to place a plate and screws in. All of my friends were amazed at how positive I was throughout the whole thing, whereas inside I was struggling and just wishing my ex could be there. We talked, he knew I was in hospital, yet he didn't ask if he could visit. now I am at home, on bed rest, and everything seems to be hitting me as I cannot seem to keep myself occupied as I previously could. No runs or walks, no going out etc. I try to read and watch movies but I just can't seem to concentrate and only drift into a spiral of sadness. Does anybody out there have any ideas or strategies or just thoughts on how I could try and cope a little better? It has been good to get this all out, and I would love if someone could take the time to reply. thanks for reading.

Taz2u Falling into the pit again
  • replies: 3

Hello everyone. I have had depression for most of my life and take antidepressants regularly. I've been feeling pretty low lately and teary, yet I'm finding it difficult to say anything to my husband. I have 3 children- 2 grown up and one about to go... View more

Hello everyone. I have had depression for most of my life and take antidepressants regularly. I've been feeling pretty low lately and teary, yet I'm finding it difficult to say anything to my husband. I have 3 children- 2 grown up and one about to go to College next year, as well as a stepson, 2 daughter-in-laws and 3 grandkids.I spend most of the week alone at home with my dog. I feel very lonely and don't have any siblings or parents nearby. I am finding it hard to get dressed in the mornings and get little satisfaction from most things. I attend church regularly, yet feel like I have few good friends. My mum was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and already suffers from Alzheimers. I went over to give my support recently and found myself having to be the strong one for everyone else. I'm tired and wonder who is there for me when I'm in need. My sister didn't support me very much when I was fragile and this is very annoying, even though I know she has a lot on her plate at home too. I cried for the first time last week, shortly after going to bed...I couldn't talk about what i was feeling because it was overwhelming. My husband asked me what was wrong, hugged me then went back to sleep. He never asked me anything after that. His mum is old and has been depressed from chronic pain.She stayed with us last week and I had primary care of her. I feel guilty because I really didn't need someone else to care for, and I didn't feel I was being cared for either. My husband wants to bring her for another week at Christmas. I feel very alone and very tired. I've felt down before, but sometimes it feels like nothing changes. I terrified to stop taking meds, as I can find myself in this black hole even when I take them diligently

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