Relcutant to have to tell family and friends again, they have seen this all before

[Leah77]

Hi All

I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety 15 years ago. Initally my treatment went along well, made alot of progress with reducing anxiety and I thought the depression.

However, the past 12 months or so I have noticed I have been deterioating. Depression is rearing its ugly head again, despite medication and seeing psychiatrist. Feeling pretty low, depressed about the battle of depression.

 I understand the depression is not me, but I am getting fed up. Teary and cry a fair bit in the evenings. 

Relcutant to have to tell family and friends again, they have seen this all before and feel bad. Concerned they might be sick of it trying to help/support.

Does anyone else relate to this?

[homer_thompson]

Howdy Leah,

I can definitely relate. To me it feels like embarking upon a long, pointless journey through a desolate wasteland. It's inevitably a lonely road because no "right-thinking" person could possibly expect or even ask their loved-ones to accompany them on such a futile and hopeless mission. When I can feel it encroaching, it's like seeing my dreams shimmer and disappear in the distant horizon. Even the thought of having to tread that bleak path again, for god only knows how long, wears me out and fills me with a dread so complete I fear I may never see the sun again.

The good news I can see is that your concern for your family proves beyond doubt that you are a loving and thoughtful person. You took the positive step of posting here and gave me the opportunity to tell you you are not alone.. I feel better myself realising that I share some characteristics with a brave soul such as yourself. Also good that you felt it coming, that's experience and hopefully a chance to get the jump on it before you're ambushed.

I wish you all the luck and support that I can.

[geoff]

dear Leah, thanks for joining this forum, where we hope that the many people on this site will be able to help you.

One problem that we all can have is that our family and friends become tired of trying to handle or help us with our depression with their comment ' here we go again', so at this point of time they are not interested in 'doing it all again'.

Something awful has started all of this again, and it gets to a stage where we hide our feelings again, and then return back to where we were years ago.

It's a terrible illness that can occur time after time and maybe for only a small reason.

I would love to hear back from you. L Geoff. x

[Neil_1]

Hi Leah

Welcome to Beyond Blue.

You’ve mentioned that you were first diagnosed some 15 years ago and then mentoined that your treatment was going along well;   however in the past 12 months you’ve noticed a change. 

You’ve mentioned that things are on a decline despite meds and seeing your psych – how long have you been on your current meds for and have they been reviewed at any time?? If no to the above, then it might well be a good time to seek out a review of your meds with your prescribing GP or psych?? 

It is great that you’ve been seeking out professional assistance with your issues and gee you really struck a chord with me as well by saying:  “… feeling depressed about the battle of depression”.  I think that would ring true for a stack of other people also – because we’re doing all the things that we’re “supposed” to do and yet we still can’t beat this thing!!

It is pleasing to read though that your family appears to know – but please do have a think about this – could you imagine how bad they would feel if they find out that you’re really struggling and they weren’t told – even if you bring it up with just one of your family and/or friends, just so you can obtain some ‘on-hand’ support as well.

And yes, would love to hear back from you as well.

Kind regards

Neil

[Leah77]

Hello Geoff

Thank you! I thought perhaps it was just a day or so that I was feeling really low, but it's back again today. Seeing my psychiatrist on Monday. Will need to have a bit of a frank conversation with him. He has helped me alot, but I am feeling and the responses I get from him more recently are not very helpful. It's as though he is not sure what else to do with me. Certainly need to let him know how ill I have become this past week or so in particular.

I haven't told family and friends yet. I know my mum will cry, even if she does it in private, and it makes me feel worse. 

The tricky thing with depression that others and yourself can probably relate to is: there is not alot family and friends can DO, they want to do something, but there is no magic action they can take to make it go away.

[Leah77]

Hi Neil

Thanks for the welcome, I'm on a fairly high dose of my medication, so will have to see what psychiatrist suggests on Monday when I see him. Will be talking to him about feeling so bad again, and that really I just cannot go through it again. There might be other reasons, life stuff, that is contibuting but I am not sure. 

Could be the depression talking, but I feel angry and annoyed at when I see things about depression being a treatable illness. I'm not so sure, manageable perhaps? I think that is the best I can hope for. 

I will most definately see psychiatrist and perhaps GP also. It could be that I need other help, a psyhologist or something.

This depression has cost be a fortune this past 15 years!! That at least made me laugh. People often don't talk about the money we spend on trying to get well.

Cheers

Leah

[geoff]

dear Leah, thanks for getting back to us.

We have to realise that if we have suffered from depression before, then if we feel low or falling back into this illness for only a couple of days, we know that depression is coming back to haunt us.

I agree family and 'friends' want to try and help us but they don't really know what to do or what to say, so this frustrates you and annoys them, or it could be vice-versa, or maybe both.

Psychiatrists can be of great help initially, because we are so desperate for someone we can talk to that understands, it makes us, well not really, but happy, the first person who we believe can help us, so our treatment continues until it can get to a point where nothing is happening, and this then means that we have to say to them that 'nothing has been working the last 3 or 4 sessions, so can we take it another way'.

Don't forget that you are paying for their services and if they can not offer any more then it's time to change counsellors, and don't be afraid of doing this, because the first priority is to get over your depression. L Geoff. x