Hello all.. My names Alex and im 30 years old. This is my first post or
attempt to reach out to a mental health community... Ive been suffering
from axiety and depression most of my life, ive kicked super big goals
in the past with travel, and career...
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Hello all.. My names Alex and im 30 years old. This is my first post or
attempt to reach out to a mental health community... Ive been suffering
from axiety and depression most of my life, ive kicked super big goals
in the past with travel, and careers and relatipnships, but only
temporary (even if that means a few years). I grew up moving alot,
getting abused by my parents, i didnt have alot of people to relate to
or spend my time with that wernt toxic. I made it out on my own by 17
and lived with friends, grew my career, went through a few really hard
breakups. These relationship came with new friends and people willing to
let me into their lives and families. Struggled with mental health and
having no one around who understands it for such a long time has made
this worse, my friends have always said just pick yourself up and move
on to whats next. Ive been able to do that time and time again, but the
last few years have spiralled. I no longer care about my career, i cant
trust people, i am haunted by my best friend leaving me opposed to
offering support. I understand what a normal life is, but it doesnt to
me at all. What do you do when you dont have anyone, when your burnt out
from the simple act of trying. Work gives me no satisfaction, and the
many things that i used to love barely even exist anymore, as are my
want for them. I dont seem to recogise the world anymore, i see people
walking around happy, families, partners and friends, people supporting
each other through their lives. I cant let in anymore, between my family
and the people ive loved breaking my heart, along with the stesss of
mental health. Its so exhausting, at times its like trying to hold up a
sand cliff, its just impossible. Does this go away or is this how my
life is, is it worth it? when i dont feel, and its not a short time, its
all i know. Literally no one understands how i feel when i talk to them,
medications have not made an impacyt, theropy made impovments for a
time. All i think about now, is mental health, it saturates my brain, ts
far too easy to not want to be here anymore, and its unfair that i cant
make the people left in my life understand any of this.