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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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RoadToRecovery1001 Destroying my life
  • replies: 5

I'm currently sitting here reeling over my decision from yesterday. I was all set to start a new and exciting role in a great company but became overwhelmed with fear, insecurity and self-doubt and backed out at the last moment. I worked so hard to g... View more

I'm currently sitting here reeling over my decision from yesterday. I was all set to start a new and exciting role in a great company but became overwhelmed with fear, insecurity and self-doubt and backed out at the last moment. I worked so hard to get to the point of being offered the role too. I interviewed long and hard over several months for what I thought was the perfect role. Now I've resigned from my old job and have no new job to go to. This isn't a reversible decision either. I was a good performer in my old role but didn't get along with my manager and certainly can’t go back there. I’ve disappointed my new employer, my family and most importantly myself. I see so much wasted potential when I look at mysel. A degree that I squandered because I acted to late, failed relationships and failure to develop into the person I want to be. I'm in my early 30's now and am changing jobs every couple of years. I have no clear goals, no direction and am just drifting around aimlessly. I'm currently alone and have no one to talk to. I'm genuinely terrified that I have destroyed my life. I feel so upset. I can’t get a grip on my extreme anxiety around change and keep self-sabotaging myself. I have completely missed the boat of life’s opportunities. Career, marriage, friendships are all rapidly disappearing from me.

2teray Lonely
  • replies: 4

Hi I had somehow made myself the one everyone was comfortable with the one who everyone knew would care support comfort & do all that they could to help. But being “the one” made me somehow a thing & not really a person. I would try to be heard but I... View more

Hi I had somehow made myself the one everyone was comfortable with the one who everyone knew would care support comfort & do all that they could to help. But being “the one” made me somehow a thing & not really a person. I would try to be heard but I was met with rolling eyes sighs & sometimes yelling because I wasn’t considering their feelings. I would even try to point out that I am only asking to be considered as well but me trying to ask for consideration & respect never went well unfortunately I wasn’t taken seriously I was labeled as moody & cut off until they had something else to share or get off their chest & I would instantly be “the one” again as if nothing ever happened I started changing with family friends & work this was difficult cos people who had labeled me “the caring one” they would come to me & unfortunately the label was accurate I do care, too much if I’m honest. I have seen psychiatrists psychologists & counsellors but found no help with my biggest issue “caring too much” I wanted help to stop caring I wanted to learn how to be more like others I had witnessed my whole life starting with my parents & older brother I guess I learned how not to be from a very young age. I truly believed that treating others how you would like to be treated that they would pay it forward but not towards me however I have always received appreciation & compliments for the way I am but I see it as a curse not a good thing at all. I tried treating others how I am treated by them, & I was tossed aside again. I eventually became agoraphobic I rarely leave my house - I am in treatment because I am very much a believer of “well it can’t be everyone else” nice people are what I am terrified of most because it’s been my lifelong experience that they use me & end up treating me really badly. I know it’s my fault I set it up every time by showing kindness & compassion & forgiveness (like you’re supposed to) but unfortunately no one learns to be decent towards me - Im lonely but scared to death to open myself up to others when my own family members have written me off as moody changed or simply as “unrespectable” My partner disrespects me he admits he needs to treat me better but he’s as selfish as they come. I don’t understand it - get nice? be nice, not hard. sadly Ive found no one learns from treating others how you would like to be treated & as for treating others how they treat you that teaches nothing either it just makes you lonely

Rupes79 Managing OCD
  • replies: 2

Hi All, Until the last couple of weeks I thought I had gotten on top of my OCD. Had a breakthrough will my psychologist and things were looking better after a very dark period. Unfortunately it’s returned with force and heightened my anxiety and I ca... View more

Hi All, Until the last couple of weeks I thought I had gotten on top of my OCD. Had a breakthrough will my psychologist and things were looking better after a very dark period. Unfortunately it’s returned with force and heightened my anxiety and I can feel myself becoming overwhelmed and slipping back into a depressed state. Has anyone had a similar experience? What has helped you get on top of your OCD? Thanks

Rubybleu Physical anxiety symptoms - muscle twitches, cramps, weakness
  • replies: 116

The past week or two I’ve been totally ruled by my health anxiety. I started having a weak feeling in my left hand and arm and something about MND came on TV and now of course I have MND. I’ve been experiencing muscle twitches and cramps/sore muscles... View more

The past week or two I’ve been totally ruled by my health anxiety. I started having a weak feeling in my left hand and arm and something about MND came on TV and now of course I have MND. I’ve been experiencing muscle twitches and cramps/sore muscles, mainly in my calves and forearms. I saw my Dr in relation to this and he tested my reflexes, strength and pulses and all was fine. I keep trying to reason with myself but I just can’t shake this MND idea. It’s ridiculous. My Dr only prescribed medication to take when I’m having a really bad moment but the problem is I’m having these every day for most of the day. Is anyone else experiencing this type of physical anxiety symptoms? This is all new to me as I’ve never experienced this type of anxiety before.

Justin95 Life of suffering?
  • replies: 5

I dropped out of high school year 10 (2016) because I couldn’t concentrate on my class work because of my ADHD. During this time up until now (2021) I read books constantly everyday and meditate to control my ADHD and possibly Bipolar disorder. It’s ... View more

I dropped out of high school year 10 (2016) because I couldn’t concentrate on my class work because of my ADHD. During this time up until now (2021) I read books constantly everyday and meditate to control my ADHD and possibly Bipolar disorder. It’s been almost 5 years since I left school and I’m planning to return and start my year 11 classes (2022). But I just don’t feel ready. My mom shouts at me tells me to act tough and stop being lazy, but I’m doing my best. Last night I checked my Facebook and saw old friends graduating uni and others already have girlfriends, while I haven’t even finished night school. I even saw my CRUSH have a boyfriend who looks handsome than me. I feel so low and behind. I read and study but I still can’t learn properly I feel like an idiot. PLEASE don’t recommend me to talk to some random suicide helpline because what I’m feeling is so overwhelming.

Jay_Tee22 Health Anxiety getting the best of me
  • replies: 5

Hi all, Hope everyone is well. i just came seeking advice/reassurance. I am 33 years old, have suffered from anxiety for a long time, was seeing a psychologist until this year as I thought I was better but I think covid lockdowns got the best of me. ... View more

Hi all, Hope everyone is well. i just came seeking advice/reassurance. I am 33 years old, have suffered from anxiety for a long time, was seeing a psychologist until this year as I thought I was better but I think covid lockdowns got the best of me. Anyway, recently my health anxiety has spiked big time, restless and constant worry set in that something was wrong with me, I decided i’d go and get a blood test and results came back today and one of my levels was elevated, doctor said mild but on the form she gave me it said high levels. Anyway I told her I am suffering big time with health anxiety and this was the last thing I wanted to hear, having anything wrong, she advised me not to worry and just wants to see whats causing this elevated level. I am now booked in for ultrasound and another blood test and won’t get results until Monday next week. As much as she told me not to worry, I am constantly worried, the doctor said to me she over investigates things anyway and also said I should be more concerned about getting Covid rather than whatever this is (weirdly that was somewhat reassuring to me) because I just don’t want whatever this is to be anything sinister. However like with anxiety we overthink and analyze everything that was said and worry about it and think what if they mean this or that etc - she giggled at one point as I asked whats worst case with this and she said I won’t tell you worst case cause that would stress me out - that in itself has stressed me out. My partner told me that if they thought it was really bad, they would send you straight to hospital or refer you to a specialist and not continue doing tests themselves as they are just GP’s. After all of this, I am just in a panic and worry! It’s really hard to cope with! As much as people say don’t worry about it, that is just as hard not to do.

jsm1974 Anxiety out of control
  • replies: 18

Hi all, My wife and I are (probably) separating due, ironically, to a bout with either anxiety or depression (or both) on her end which has made her feel numb. As a result, my own anxiety has been out of control....multiple panic attacks every day an... View more

Hi all, My wife and I are (probably) separating due, ironically, to a bout with either anxiety or depression (or both) on her end which has made her feel numb. As a result, my own anxiety has been out of control....multiple panic attacks every day and 'fight or flight' jitters the rest of the time....to the point that I cannot even eat, let alone do anything to distract me. I've been on medication for dysthymia, MDD, GAD, and ADHD for quite a while, but medication isn't really cutting it. I have never in my life experienced anything like this. I'm trying so hard to be there for her and to give her the time and space that she needs, but I feel as if I am failing in that regard as she can see right through me. I know I need to get my head right before I can be of any real comfort to her. I've been working at using mindfulness techniques, but much of the time I can't even identify the offending thought. I have had a few moments of respite here and there, but I can't seem to identify a pattern there. Does anyone have any techniques or strategies that I could use to calm my head/body down enough to be able to use mindfulness? I've been like this for well over a month, which simply can't be healthy and is definitely not helping me support my wife.

Justin95 Depressed about my appearance
  • replies: 3

Why is it that I constantly compare my appearance to other people. I am a male that is 5 foot 8. I’m 22 years old. At 75kilos. Just today I saw a man that looked better than me, he had a v shaped chest with a six pack abs. He gets plenty of attention... View more

Why is it that I constantly compare my appearance to other people. I am a male that is 5 foot 8. I’m 22 years old. At 75kilos. Just today I saw a man that looked better than me, he had a v shaped chest with a six pack abs. He gets plenty of attention especially from the ladies but I get ignored. No matter how I try too look good I always feel ugly when I go outside. Is there something wrong with me. How do you feel when there’s someone better looking than you? I’m just obsessed with the way I look.

MissJ94 Not good at anything
  • replies: 4

Hi All, Me again! Ive now been out of work for over a month. Im a registered nurse and finding it impossible to get a job. I feel like this time im more confident in my interviews but i keep getting rejected. Everytime i get asked "what made you leav... View more

Hi All, Me again! Ive now been out of work for over a month. Im a registered nurse and finding it impossible to get a job. I feel like this time im more confident in my interviews but i keep getting rejected. Everytime i get asked "what made you leave your previous job?" I end up breaking down in front of these people running the interview because of what happened at my last job, the harassment, the stalking. I dont know if thats whats bringing me down but i cant help but react that way. Lately the interviews ive been having, after them i just feel incompetent at even being a registered nurse. That feeling intensifies when i get the call or email to say i havent been successful. Im struggling to put more applications in for a job because i just dont feel joy at all doing it. Its a stressful job, and looking back i just have no passion left for nursing. I feel depressed at the thought of going back into nursing, i havent been happy at all working as a nurse. Ive been working in aged care which is the opposite end of where ive always wanted to work(midwifery). Its impossible to get a job in the hospitals when you dont have any hospital training. I just feel too stupid to be a nurse. And after doing some of my midwifery course(undergraduate), i even feel too stupid to be in that. I feel like im severely lacking in something. I hear of people working fulltime and really succeeding in their careers and i have no idea how they do it. I went into nursing thinking a job would be easy to come by and id have a heap of support and further education opportunities but its been the complete opposite. I got extremely burnt out working fulltime, it didnt work with my medication for bipolar. I moved on to part time night shifts and was severely lacking support which lead to the harassment and stalking by another staff. I would love to work in family/child health nursing but thats a 3 year course... even then i feel too stupid for it.. Its like theres no job out there for me, that im too stupid for it all. The guy im seeing has suggested going into hospitality where he works but that scares the crap out of me. Yeah theyre in major need of staff but i know for sure id end up breaking everything or something majorly going wrong and then with so many people to see it. I do those job quizzes to see what i might like but that changes on an almost hourly basis depending on my mood or energy levels. Just feel like i have no fight left. I really dont know what im doing anymore.

Justin95 Comparison is the death of happiness
  • replies: 1

Why is it that I constantly compare my appearance to other people. I am a male that is 5 foot 8. I’m 22 years old. At 75kilos. Just today I saw a man that looked better than me, he had a v shaped chest with a six pack abs. He gets plenty of attention... View more

Why is it that I constantly compare my appearance to other people. I am a male that is 5 foot 8. I’m 22 years old. At 75kilos. Just today I saw a man that looked better than me, he had a v shaped chest with a six pack abs. He gets plenty of attention especially from the ladies but I get ignored. No matter how I try too look good I always feel ugly when I go outside. Is there something wrong with me. How do you feel when there’s someone better looking than you?