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Anxiety

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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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GreenGuy How to stop feeling cursed?
  • replies: 8

Hello, This is a very minor issue for me compared to a lot of people here, but it has been something that's bugged me for a while. I've become hesitant about certain mundane habits for fear of evoking misfortune. For example, there is a song I really... View more

Hello, This is a very minor issue for me compared to a lot of people here, but it has been something that's bugged me for a while. I've become hesitant about certain mundane habits for fear of evoking misfortune. For example, there is a song I really like (it's a black metal song with occult themes if you really must know with evil chanting) but every time I listened to it, bad stuff would occur: my Nan getting cancer, my neighbours abusing me, my sister breaking her arm, even the Russian Invasion of Ukraine, so on and so forth. It's just one of a few habits that I tend to avoid for this reason. Now, I prefer to be a skeptic of paranormal occurrences; I'm an agnostic yet can't help feeling something divine (but specifically demonic) force is punishing/cursing me. I am fully aware, that these events are beyond my control, and my brain has attempted to pin these habits as a scapegoat. I've been training myself to stop looking for such scapegoats as a coping mechanism... With that said, what other tips can I use to stop feeding into my paranoia/anxiety?

Noel1982 Severe health anxiety after minor cancer diagnosis
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone, First time posting here, been having a read of some others experiences here and its re-assuring that I am not going crazy. About 2 months ago I was diagnosed with a small early stage skin cancer on my lower lip, have an appointment in 2 ... View more

Hi everyone, First time posting here, been having a read of some others experiences here and its re-assuring that I am not going crazy. About 2 months ago I was diagnosed with a small early stage skin cancer on my lower lip, have an appointment in 2 weeks with a surgeon to discuss options for treatment/removal. Since this diagnosis, originally I was ok with it, I was shocked that at 39 years old, this was a reality I was facing but the doctor seemed really not concerned with the whole thing and said based off what it was, my options were to either wait and see if it keeps growing, or go see a surgeon to remove it. I immediately chose the surgeon, as the fear of something potentially life threatening scared the daylights out of me. When I got home from work that day and seen my 15 month old daughter (our only child after years of IVF)and my wife, I fell into pieces and have not been able to really put things together since. I have made the terrible mistake of googling this condition and the possible complications from it and that has made me extremely anxious, so much so that I have on multiple occasions, thought I have found something else in my mouth/lip and fully freaked out, so much that my wife had to spend the next few hours reassuring me that there is nothing there and if there was, the doctors weren't stressed otherwise you wouldn't have to wait for this long for an appointment. On Sunday night, I think I had my first panic attack, I felt like I was having a full blown heart attack, or the cancer had somehow spread to my lungs (crazy right), and I ended up having to call 000 and go to hospital to make sure that my heart was ok, as I just could not calm down and get the feeling to go away. Needless to say I was ok and the chest X-ray was clear. This little excursion wasted the ER`s time and also cost me a great ANZAC day marching with my mates. I have since had a skin check (no concerns there) and a dentist do a full check of my mouth and lips (again nothing found) and yet I still am terrified that there is something wrong.. After reading on here about health anxiety, I understand that this is what I have and that I am not losing my mind. It has been the worst month of my life and it has significantly affected my life. I have some work to do moving forward but hope that once I see the surgeon and have a plan, life can get semi back to normal. What have people here used as tools to cope with the waiting and the unknown when it comes to health?

T1278910 How to stop panic attacks about health
  • replies: 3

I keep getting worried about my health derailing and it puts me in a negative pattern. I wish I can just forget. But it’s so hard not to procrastinate and worry about the future. Just need an ear

I keep getting worried about my health derailing and it puts me in a negative pattern. I wish I can just forget. But it’s so hard not to procrastinate and worry about the future. Just need an ear

LCM83 Please help
  • replies: 2

Please help. This anxiety episode came out of the blue on Easter Saturday and it hasn’t gone away. I’ve barely eaten since then, I can’t sleep. I had a psych appointment on Friday but she’s not available again for two weeks. The first Psychiatrist ap... View more

Please help. This anxiety episode came out of the blue on Easter Saturday and it hasn’t gone away. I’ve barely eaten since then, I can’t sleep. I had a psych appointment on Friday but she’s not available again for two weeks. The first Psychiatrist appointment wasn’t available until 17/05. I had trouble sleeping last night. It hurts so much. My poor husband and children, they deserve so much better.

BShock Friends
  • replies: 10

Hey there, i have always felt like the awkward mutual friend in most of my friendships. the friend who no one wants to be left alone with. i am wondering if anyone else has felt this way and why it is like this? I feel as though i have nothing to say... View more

Hey there, i have always felt like the awkward mutual friend in most of my friendships. the friend who no one wants to be left alone with. i am wondering if anyone else has felt this way and why it is like this? I feel as though i have nothing to say, even to my closest friends. i desperately want that deep friendship with someone but constantly feel anxious and over analyse the conversation and situation to a point where i feel it best to not say anything. if hanging out with a friend, i feel it has to 'go well' in order for them to like me and continue to want to hang out with me, but both myself and the friend can clearly tell that it is not a natural friendship as i am acting overenthused and excited. not sure exactly how to amend this situation.

T1278910 Fear of failure
  • replies: 2

I’ve been really worried about the future I’m only 16 and haven’t been to high school. Just wondering what to do to get rid of this fear. I feel like I can’t do things because I’m a perfectionist and I can’t fail. Starting something new is hard becau... View more

I’ve been really worried about the future I’m only 16 and haven’t been to high school. Just wondering what to do to get rid of this fear. I feel like I can’t do things because I’m a perfectionist and I can’t fail. Starting something new is hard because when you start something new you tend to fail and I find it hard to ignore simple mistakes as just mistakes. I worry that I won’t do anything because I can’t start it’s just so difficult. Should I just be brave and fail and get better over time and give it my best. Need some help. Really unsure

nick99 Severe health Anxity
  • replies: 1

I have suffered from heart palpitations, health anxiety and general anxiety for about 27 years. Add to that an absolute fear of doctors. I have thought for the past thirty years I've had all manner of terminal illness's. My palpitations can occur for... View more

I have suffered from heart palpitations, health anxiety and general anxiety for about 27 years. Add to that an absolute fear of doctors. I have thought for the past thirty years I've had all manner of terminal illness's. My palpitations can occur for long periods, seem to be elevated by eating certain foods, like salty crisps. I recently had to rush to the emergency ward of the hospital because I had been getting zigzag lines in my vision. They took my blood pressure and heart rate and the first thing the doctor asked was do I suffer from anxiety. After four hours of a team of doctors studying my eyes I was released with the diagnosis of ocular migraines. So now I have this horrid eye thing and my palpitations have returned. The health anxiety is going through the roof now. My question is if doctors examined me and they took my heart rate and blood pressure would they have kept me in if I had a heart issue? I was released without anything except my blood pressure was a bit high but they suggested it was because I was so stressed. Never really gone to a doctor about it as I have such a fear of them. Only went to hospital this week because I thought I had a retinal tear and didn’t want to go blind.

Eiffel The structure of Anxiety and its importance in our happiness
  • replies: 1

Hi, What does everyone think about the nature of our anxiety? We often feel and say things like "My anxiety makes me feel like this or that" or "I have anxiety and so struggle with such and such". We all have a habit of making anxiety an object that ... View more

Hi, What does everyone think about the nature of our anxiety? We often feel and say things like "My anxiety makes me feel like this or that" or "I have anxiety and so struggle with such and such". We all have a habit of making anxiety an object that we feel, and this may be incorrect. I'm not saying anxiety is good, far from it! However, if we begin our assessment of our feelings from an error, we will not be as effective in our attempts to understand ourselves. I shall explain. Jean-Paul Satre says that "we are our possibilities and organise and our relationship with the world by transcending that instrumental complex toward ourselves. We ARE this anxiety" (last paragraph p317pdf or p250 printed book page, https://yunus.hacettepe.edu.tr/~cin/Being%20And%20Nothingness/Being%20and%20Nothingness%20-%20Sartre.pdf) I know he's talking about jealousy, but I think it is the same for anxiety. What this means is that our Anxiety is not "over there" as an object we can feel or describe. It is part of us. This would explain why its so difficult to get rid of Anxiety without sedation. If we can accept Anxiety as being "us", rather than as "a thing", as a starting point, we are going to have better success in living happier lives than by beginning from an erroneous assumption that we can destroy an external fear. For example, If we attack the anxiety, because we want to get rid of the "object/thing of anxiety" but it is actually a part of us, then what we will be doing is attacking ourselves. I'm not saying we should leave anxiety alone, far from it! I think we should work with it rather than against it. This also goes a long way to explain the brilliance of Kierkegaard's statement "Anxiety is an expression of the perfection of human nature" (The Concept of Anxiety, sorry dont have a page number for that one) What does everybody think?

Daniel_83 Reaching 40 - not sure how to deal with it?
  • replies: 5

I am reaching 39 in a couple of months, and not a day goes by without obsessively thinking about reaching the big "4". I feel like I'm wholly unprepared and not mentally ready to be reaching what I consider to be nearing my sunset years. I spent the ... View more

I am reaching 39 in a couple of months, and not a day goes by without obsessively thinking about reaching the big "4". I feel like I'm wholly unprepared and not mentally ready to be reaching what I consider to be nearing my sunset years. I spent the good part of my 30s navigating a very stressful and difficult life. At 39, I feel the last 4-5 years have flashed by without me noticing it, and I'm feeling very unprepared about the other aspects of my life. I have no kids and my wife doesn't seem keen, but I'm worried about loneliness and isolation at old age. But at the same time I'm not sure I have the emotional maturity nor the tenacity to raise a good kid. I still spend 1-2 hours playing mobile games everyday at 39 years old. I consider myself to be a fairly sensible person - i live a frugal life, I save and invest most of my income regularly, and I always put my work above playing video games, and my work performance has been excellent. Hoping to hear experiences of others who have transitioned through this stage or am also dealing with the same anxieties now. How did you cope with it? If you're already in your forties - looking back, what would you have done differently?

Anonymously_Me Massive panic attacks after Vaccine- Please help
  • replies: 20

Hi, so I want to start by saying I'm all for the Covid vaccine and people should get it. So after I got the jab I knew that I'd feel like fainting and told the nurse and doctor about it- Knowing how my anxiety affects me I wanted to get to it before ... View more

Hi, so I want to start by saying I'm all for the Covid vaccine and people should get it. So after I got the jab I knew that I'd feel like fainting and told the nurse and doctor about it- Knowing how my anxiety affects me I wanted to get to it before it got bad. I needed to lie down and then on the way home had to lie down in the car as every time I got up and felt like vomiting. But I knew that would happen so anyway. I got it a couple of days ago and I keep getting constant anxiety about blood clots and not being able to breath- which has been making it difficult to breathe. Last night I had 2 extreme panic attacks that required my Mum to help me with breathing and counting, I was shaking I was sweating I was rocking back and forth and crying and I was asking my Mum to help me I was in so much mental pain and so emotional and distractions won't helping which I normally do to help calm me down, I tried sleeping with my fidget cube in my hand, listening to music and watching tv and nothing helped because I was in this continuous cycle of fear and my anxiety kept adding to that. After half an hour I managed to calm down but then it flared up again. I had to wake my brother up and asked if I could watch some TV in his room for a bit which helped. Finally later on I managed to somewhat sleep but even today when I got up now it's got me again and it keeps coming back. Please if anyone can think of anything to help because it's tiring and it's like getting constant panic attacks I've had anxiety for all my life but this is extremely emotionally painful