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Anxiety

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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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ms108 Feeling stuck with perpetual anxiety and depression
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I really need some help. I have been struggling with anxiety and episodes of depression for the last few years, mainly having to do with living in a different country from my own since 17 y/o and needing to maintain a job I really didn't like... View more

Hi all, I really need some help. I have been struggling with anxiety and episodes of depression for the last few years, mainly having to do with living in a different country from my own since 17 y/o and needing to maintain a job I really didn't like to get my citizenship there (mainly to please my parents). I felt deep down angry, frustrated and as a victim, as I felt truly alone and isolated, not doing what i wanted to do and not having anyone to rely on (friends I've made during uni years have moved back to their home countries, as they were internationals too). In 2018 I have met my now partner and jumped into a long-distance relationship which caused a lot of anxiety, as I thought that this relationship would save me from my misery. Fast forward 1 year, I moved with him to Australia - which I really love btw, this is my dream place! I thought it will be really easy to adjust to a new country, having been through so many obstacles before, and in some ways it was. But in some, it wasn't. A lot of my demons and insecurities and fears have come up and added toxicity to our relationship. I was very angry and resentful and hurt - and I've hurt him a lot too. I've gone to Beyond Blue coach before, who was really helpful, but then I got a MHCP from my GP and talked to a number of (ineffective) psychologists, finally resorting to going to a psychiatrist who prescribed me SSRI medication. My partner tries to help me but he doesn't know how to handle my emotions and mood swings and I just really need someone who understands me. We have a community of friends here, however, I don't really click with his close friends which makes it a bit of a suffering experience to hang out with them often. I made some friends but I wouldn't say those relationships are strong enough, people just very busy with their own lives and I don't want to overburden them, even though I need a friendly soul. Importantly - I don't work since 2019, I'm a homemaker, however, I have several business projects. Yet I feel very isolated as I don't have regular social interaction with people and from my past experience seeking some random events to go to just makes me feel more empty and like I'm wasting my time... Bottom line - I feel stuck, disenchanted from all the help there could be - as I tried many different things but nothing seems to work - and desperately want my partner to be there for me in a way that he cannot be. Please help me with advice of what to do and thank you!

Weldermate Anxiety that's overwhelming
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, I'm trying to find ways to not feel overwhelmed and panic about things.im a over thinker about pretty much everything. And for the last week it's about going to work. I love doing my job and I don't get why it's overwhelming me about goi... View more

Hi everyone, I'm trying to find ways to not feel overwhelmed and panic about things.im a over thinker about pretty much everything. And for the last week it's about going to work. I love doing my job and I don't get why it's overwhelming me about going or doing it. I've been working there in the same place now for 10 years and this has only started to happen about 6 months ago. I had a bad rash that made me panic really badly. And now even the smallest things can set it off. I need to see someone about it but I've been told by friends that this could help as well. I'm every quick to stress about things and need help on ways to work around dealing with it. Thank you for your support.

user9463728 feeling guilty
  • replies: 29

im just gonna get straight to the point. almost 2 years ago i became "obsessed" with blindness. im aware of how ridiculous it sounds. it got to the point where i would spend hours a day researching just about everything about blindness. i decided i w... View more

im just gonna get straight to the point. almost 2 years ago i became "obsessed" with blindness. im aware of how ridiculous it sounds. it got to the point where i would spend hours a day researching just about everything about blindness. i decided i wanted to be blind. at the time i recognised that what i wanted to do was stupid but nothing could stop me. i made up my mind. i began trying to harm my own eyesight. i then told my parents "i had a black dot in my eye" and was taken in for eye scans. they said they could see macular damage on the scan and they even mentioned "we don't know whether this damage will progressively get worse or not." my parents were freaking out and couldn't sleep. i was so happy that this was going somewhere and "i might finally be blind." i didnt realise the stress i put my parents through for something so small. i had many doctors appointments and cost my parents a lot of money. in the end, the doctor diagnosed me with some eye condition that i know isnt what i have. about a month after looking at the sun, i woke up one day and wondered what that was all about. i felt absolutely zero urges to be blind anymore. i was back to normal. its strange because the obsession was so so bad to the point where i was absolutely delusional. but oh, i woke up the next day and boom im fine again. i havent felt any urges to be blind or anything since then. however, ive been feeling so guilty. i want to apologise to my parents for the stress i put them through and i want to tell them everything. ive been getting straight a's and my parents have been so proud of me lately. ive gotten to the point where i cant be around them without the urge to cry. i went out with my mum today. we got food and drinks and she bought me a keyring. ive been crying all night. how can i just accept all this knowing what i did? its not just this instance too. last year i had similar urges and harmed myself. i was totally delusional. when i get "obsessed" with things i just cant think straight. i want to tell my parents soon. do you think i should? will they still trust me?is there something wrong with me? my parents are the only people i really care about and i dont want them to think of me differently.

Daniel_LK91 My anxiety - seeking help
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone. I am new to this forum. I have anxiety and i think that it is ruining my life. I have no friends and cant socialize. I have a job and can sometimes work but lately I have not been able to work. I spend most of my time alone at home with ... View more

Hi everyone. I am new to this forum. I have anxiety and i think that it is ruining my life. I have no friends and cant socialize. I have a job and can sometimes work but lately I have not been able to work. I spend most of my time alone at home with myself but luckily my parents live with me too so it is nice to have them there. I would really like to get myself back on track. I want my life back and want to be "normal" again even though i feel like that is impossible and think that things are only going to get worse. I really do hope to get better and feel better, hopefully sooner than later. Can anybody else relate? Anxiety really does suck. Daniel.

Dean07 Anxiety giving me hiding ATM
  • replies: 10

Hello everyone. I'm self employed and in the process of moving my work to a new premises. I'm finding all the decisions around finding a place and sorting a lease very stressful. Also the logistic and purchasing of new equipment. I have a history of ... View more

Hello everyone. I'm self employed and in the process of moving my work to a new premises. I'm finding all the decisions around finding a place and sorting a lease very stressful. Also the logistic and purchasing of new equipment. I have a history of anxiety over the the last 50 years. Sometimes I'm on top of it other times I struggle. I'm currently seeing a psychologist to help. I've been seeing him for a while and he has been helpful in the past. His current advise is to write things down and proceed based on the evidence, not on how I feel about it. How I feel about the event and how it turns out has historically been wrong most of the time. Most time things work out really well. I know this but I keep trusting my feeling over the likely outcome. The feelings are much louder and I find them impossible to ignore. (I'm not hearing voice just having thoughts). It's as though I don't learn from the previous outcomes. Does anyone have any suggestion for coping with the intrusive thoughts?

44Max44 can't let my guard down in social interactions
  • replies: 4

For as long as I can remember I've always 'had my guard up' during social interactions. I'm super careful about what I say and am always overthinking stuff. It's gotten to a point where I just don't talk to people because I don't want to make myself ... View more

For as long as I can remember I've always 'had my guard up' during social interactions. I'm super careful about what I say and am always overthinking stuff. It's gotten to a point where I just don't talk to people because I don't want to make myself look bad or potentially offend them. I've been at a new job for something like 4 months now and I haven't had a real conversation with anybody there even though I think they're all great people. There's a girl there I want to get to know but every time I get to interact with her I can't bring myself to have any meaningful conversation with her, just the same "thank you, bye" stuff over and over. It's really eating away at me not being able to form relationships with people. Even one of my best friends that I've known for most of my life I barely talk to anymore. Even family members I barely talk to, my own parents and siblings I can barely hold a conversation with. Just being able to tell them that I love them is a huge feat for me and it rarely happens. I'm sick of overthinking everything. It's like there's a filter in my brain and I only 1% of the stuff I want to say actually gets through that filter and out of my mouth. I'm very soft-spoken, I only talk to people when they talk to me first and that's usually just responses to questions, I try to stay out of people's way as much as possible, pretty much I try to make myself as unnoticeable as possible. I don't know why I always have my guard up and I don't know how to let it down. I keep thinking that I've dug myself too far and if I suddenly turn back now and start being open about how I feel and being social with people that it'll just make me look weird and they'll think I'm drunk or high or something. I'm afraid that at this rate if something doesn't change I won't be able to form a meaningful connection with anybody ever. I think that's why I love animals so much, because they keep me company, they don't judge, and they love me unconditionally. I know how animals will act, but people are a complete mystery to me. If it weren't for my pets I don't know where I'd be right now and I'd be so unbelievably lonely. I need to see a psychologist but even making a booking for that is a challenge for me. Every time I've tried they've given me the "we're at capacity" response and that just destroys all motivation I had to get myself help and I put it off for ages. I'm trying to help myself but it feels like nobody wants to help me. I don't know what to do.

Storm84 Fatigue that just won't pass
  • replies: 6

Hi All, So I've been fatigued for the pass 3 week's now that just won't seem to pass. I've been to the Doctors twice and he saids everything is fine, done tests and re tests. He claims it's just fatigue from constant worry anxiety and depression. I a... View more

Hi All, So I've been fatigued for the pass 3 week's now that just won't seem to pass. I've been to the Doctors twice and he saids everything is fine, done tests and re tests. He claims it's just fatigue from constant worry anxiety and depression. I also ended up in the hospital a week ago as I thought I was having a heart attack. But doctor said it looked like extreme anxiety. Now I want to believe that this is all just from anxiety and that I'm exhausted everyday because I'm stuck in a loop of worrying that something serious is wrong. I can't get out of my head that the doctors are gonna eventually find something serious and that will be it for me. I know I probably sound mad, Ive booked into to see someone to talk about how I'm feeling and the doctor has put me on antidepressants. Is there anyone else that has experienced prolonged fatigue like this and how did you pull yourself out of it? I just feel so hopeless and I keep Dr googling myself which is doing my anxiety no favours. Any advice it relatable stories would be amazing. Thank you

elliebee2 Anxiety, brain injury or ADHD?
  • replies: 2

Hello all, I'm 29 & I had a brain injury in 2002. An Arteriovenous Malformation. That was almost 20 years ago now, and my memory, concentration, and focus haven't gotten much better since then. I was first diagnosed with anxiety and depression & I fe... View more

Hello all, I'm 29 & I had a brain injury in 2002. An Arteriovenous Malformation. That was almost 20 years ago now, and my memory, concentration, and focus haven't gotten much better since then. I was first diagnosed with anxiety and depression & I feel like I'm not depressed anymore (yay) but I'm so anxious most of the time now. I feel a little bit silly questioning this as I don't want to self-diagnose. I have been to a doctor, gotten a referral letter to a psychiatrist. But on the way out, I was meant to stop at reception & ask them to fax the letter... but forgot. I understand people forget things from time to time but my head feels foggy 95% of the time. The reason why I never questioned anything before, was that I just put everything down to depression and the AVM. It's hard to explain but I get sad now but it's more situational. Not sure if this is "typical" but I don't want to continuously forget things, I want to be able to focus on what people are saying to me, I'd like to get things done even if they aren't interesting to me... I have all or nothing emotions like if I'm happy/sad/angry about something it's hard for me to let go, in jobs or education I act like I'm receiving info being given but it's in one ear out the other, overstimulation in loud places, spending a bit too much, I forget important appointments unless it is written on my hand, I have trouble sleeping for periods. I can only work for short periods of time, because of fatigue but I just don't know if I'm overthinking this

cacti Uncomfortable with my own thoughts
  • replies: 1

Okay I find it difficult to explain what I exactly want to say, but I'll try my best by throwing in some examples from my day to day life (a somewhat awkward attempt). To put it in simple words I feel very disturbed with my own thoughts from time to ... View more

Okay I find it difficult to explain what I exactly want to say, but I'll try my best by throwing in some examples from my day to day life (a somewhat awkward attempt). To put it in simple words I feel very disturbed with my own thoughts from time to time; despite the fact that they never really seem abnormal to the average person. The way I see my own feelings massively influences the way I perceive the things or events or individuals which have resulted in that feeling - one of the reasons why I am often recognized as strange for spontaneously cutting contact with another person and giving no reasons whatsoever. It's really hard to describe but in these cases I all of a sudden think of myself as unworthy of having social interaction with. An example would be being jealous of someone's achievements, I can easily see it coming when I think that way - and I would feel like a pessimistic sewer rat even though I don't want to. If I was crying I would cry even harder because now I am an incompetent, annoying, self-and-others-hating sewer rat. Another less obvious but a bit more complicated one is that I am in my late teenage years yet I have never ever liked a person whatever gender they might be. For a long time I thought that is just my sexuality perhaps or I just haven't had a chance to put my mind that way, but no, I would feel affection for people yet condemn myself immediately after in my subconscious mind that it is utterly disgusting and shallow of me to hold romantic feelings for some person whom I haven't known for a long time. Sometimes these feelings persist and as if activating a defense mechanism I freeze. in worse cases I would vomit. Same goes with befriending someone, I always doubt myself for if the words that come out of my mouth are not genuine I would be embarrassed to even look at the person. This has been going on for quite a while now so it just comes naturally, I stop developing any form of attraction towards new people. Or it just doesn't last long before I cut it off myself. I also despise myself sometimes for focusing too much on my physical appearance, which must not be regarded as important whatsoever.

Rabbit444 Self forgiveness and perfectionism - new here!
  • replies: 5

Hi guys I'm a self aware perfectionist (working on it) with high functioning anxiety. My life is good - a happy marriage, healthy children and a strong network of family and friends. The one recurring issue for me - is self forgiveness and self compa... View more

Hi guys I'm a self aware perfectionist (working on it) with high functioning anxiety. My life is good - a happy marriage, healthy children and a strong network of family and friends. The one recurring issue for me - is self forgiveness and self compassion. I understand the theory (and read a lot about it), but it is difficult to put into practice. When a make a bad error of judgement it results in terrible anxiety (days to weeks) and I am 'all consumed' by it. A had an issue recently where opportunism (online shopping - purchasing a toolbox incorrectly marked $0 dollars and then lying about it to the store owner when I tried to get a store credit / refund for the full amount) resulted in me being found out and (rightly so), given a serve by the small business owner who pointed out that my actions were both dishonest and in poor taste. I took responsibility, apologised immediately and promptly returned the goods. The business owner said they appreciated that. End of story and big lesson learned - but not the end for me. For the last week I have not been able to eat or sleep properly and am replaying the situation over and over in my head. What I should have done, fears they know who I am and that they could troll me online and tell my family, friends and work colleagues etc. I keep wanting to go back in time to before 'before the bad thing happened' and start again. This is a recurring issue for me - if I drink too much and have a hangover, if I have a blue with a friend etc etc. I am constantly in need of reassurance, and to be 'absolved'. I also feel I have to disclose anything (big or small) that I feel is an indiscretion on my part to everyone close to me - to make sure they know what I've done - and still love me anyway. With the toolbox incident - I know what I did was crappy and I certainly won't do it again. But my reaction and self loathing is out of kilter with the severity of the mistake. Please help - and also, any tips on where this could stem from would be greatly appreciated so I can begin to get to the root of the issue.