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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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Rabbit444 Self forgiveness and perfectionism - new here!
  • replies: 5

Hi guys I'm a self aware perfectionist (working on it) with high functioning anxiety. My life is good - a happy marriage, healthy children and a strong network of family and friends. The one recurring issue for me - is self forgiveness and self compa... View more

Hi guys I'm a self aware perfectionist (working on it) with high functioning anxiety. My life is good - a happy marriage, healthy children and a strong network of family and friends. The one recurring issue for me - is self forgiveness and self compassion. I understand the theory (and read a lot about it), but it is difficult to put into practice. When a make a bad error of judgement it results in terrible anxiety (days to weeks) and I am 'all consumed' by it. A had an issue recently where opportunism (online shopping - purchasing a toolbox incorrectly marked $0 dollars and then lying about it to the store owner when I tried to get a store credit / refund for the full amount) resulted in me being found out and (rightly so), given a serve by the small business owner who pointed out that my actions were both dishonest and in poor taste. I took responsibility, apologised immediately and promptly returned the goods. The business owner said they appreciated that. End of story and big lesson learned - but not the end for me. For the last week I have not been able to eat or sleep properly and am replaying the situation over and over in my head. What I should have done, fears they know who I am and that they could troll me online and tell my family, friends and work colleagues etc. I keep wanting to go back in time to before 'before the bad thing happened' and start again. This is a recurring issue for me - if I drink too much and have a hangover, if I have a blue with a friend etc etc. I am constantly in need of reassurance, and to be 'absolved'. I also feel I have to disclose anything (big or small) that I feel is an indiscretion on my part to everyone close to me - to make sure they know what I've done - and still love me anyway. With the toolbox incident - I know what I did was crappy and I certainly won't do it again. But my reaction and self loathing is out of kilter with the severity of the mistake. Please help - and also, any tips on where this could stem from would be greatly appreciated so I can begin to get to the root of the issue.

Nervybella Worried about my mum - I don’t think she’s well
  • replies: 12

Hi all So I’m really worried about my mum. I’m not sure where to begin with describing her but bottom line is that I am sure she suffers from some mental health issues but is yet to seek help or be diagnosed. for context, mum can be the most loving a... View more

Hi all So I’m really worried about my mum. I’m not sure where to begin with describing her but bottom line is that I am sure she suffers from some mental health issues but is yet to seek help or be diagnosed. for context, mum can be the most loving and caring person, but can also be rude and cold to some people. She is both overbearing and a recluse. her mood swings from happy to sad to irritated. she can’t just sit and relax. her money habits are out of control. she’s impulsive. can be disorganised and forgetful this is really starting to put a strain on our relationship and the relationship between my parents too. I desperately want her to seek help because I truly believe she CAN be helped but she is so defensive and not responsive to my concerns where Do I go from here?…. best, Bella

Angel34 New job anxiety
  • replies: 3

I have just started a new job a couple weeks ago, a totally new career for me, no previous experience. I had a really bad day with another worker and how they treated me. Ever since that day its been such a struggle to get out of bed to go to work ev... View more

I have just started a new job a couple weeks ago, a totally new career for me, no previous experience. I had a really bad day with another worker and how they treated me. Ever since that day its been such a struggle to get out of bed to go to work everyday. My anxiety has never been this bad ever, I've already taken so many sick days just because i physically and mentally can't handle it. I rushed into this job very quickly as i wanted to quit my old job as soon as possible so i applied for anything and everything. I'm starting to think i rushed too quickly and this job isn't for me at all. I have panic attacks regularly now, i start to feel very dizzy/faint and start to throw up. I sweat constantly, shake, pick at my skin. I'm stuck on what to do, i hate this new job so much and want to quit already, but its only been a couple weeks. My anxiety just takes over my whole body and i can't control it. I think it's also to do with my self confidence, i am always putting myself down and overthink everything. I work fulltime and haven't even had a full week yet because i keep taking days off because i physically can't go into work. I don't want my new workplace to hate me if i quit because i just started but i also need to think about myself and my mental heath/well being. Every time i think about it, it always triggers a panic attack. It's never been this bad before. I've never spoken to anyone about this and i probably need to but, i just need help on what to do.

Blhaj Awkwardness
  • replies: 1

I feel awkward and freakish. Like I don't fit into social situations well. Like there are people who everyone likes and I'm not one of them. I feel like I try my best to be nice to others and listen and talk but just. Uh. Idk sometimes something does... View more

I feel awkward and freakish. Like I don't fit into social situations well. Like there are people who everyone likes and I'm not one of them. I feel like I try my best to be nice to others and listen and talk but just. Uh. Idk sometimes something doesn't feel right in the social situations I'm in. Like the vibes are off or I'm coming across as too intense or worst of all sometimes I just have nothing to say. And there's that painful awkward silence. I feel like there's always going to be this weird jarring disconnect between me and the people around me. Well, not all the people I have a few people who that disconnect doesn't exist with. I just don't know why I can't be comfortable and charismatic around acquaintances. Or not even that just normal. I feel like a freak. I don't know if this is a symptom of depression and anxiety or if I'm viewing this objectively. I would assume maybe a mix of both? I don't know. Sorry this a bit of a ramble. This is my first post. I'm writing this after I said something awkward in a group chat so it's a bit disorganised.

Purplefish Panic attacks over new things/ fear of anaphylaxis
  • replies: 1

Hey all, it’s been several years since I last posted! I’ve been really struggling with anxiety over new things, such as trying new foods or new medications. Getting the covid vaccine was super scary, but I just got my booster so I’m proud of myself i... View more

Hey all, it’s been several years since I last posted! I’ve been really struggling with anxiety over new things, such as trying new foods or new medications. Getting the covid vaccine was super scary, but I just got my booster so I’m proud of myself in that regard. my doctor wants to start me on a new medication, however as it causes sedation my normal tactic of starting the medication in a public place so if something bad happens I’m near people who can help won’t work. As I’m not afraid of the longer side effects it’s the idea of not being able to breath. I need to start this medication at night time due to the sedation side effect and I live alone. Any advice or tips? I have some emergency anti-anxiety meds at home so I could take that beforehand to help the anxiety but then there is the double sedation which seems like something I should avoid Has anyone managed to overcome these types of phobias of getting anaphylaxis to new thing? thanks all, regards purplefish

SickOfIt Last Straw
  • replies: 7

Hi Everyone, I am 40 years old and have suffered from anxiety since I was about 6 years of age. Back in the 80's no one understood anxiety so no one understood me. I have suffered through this alone due to shame. I am on medication and have seen a fe... View more

Hi Everyone, I am 40 years old and have suffered from anxiety since I was about 6 years of age. Back in the 80's no one understood anxiety so no one understood me. I have suffered through this alone due to shame. I am on medication and have seen a few psychologists. My anxiety has stopped me from soooo much. I am so sick of it ruining my life!!! I am trying to plan a wedding I don't even know I can go through with and I desperately want to have a baby without causing it harm from my panic attack episodes. I tried to slowly wean off the medication so that I could try for a healthy baby and I just couldn't do it. My anxiety has skyrocketed so I was put back on it. I've booked myself in to see another psychologist. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do anymore. Any advice would be appreciated and I would love to hear how you got through your wedding and pregnancy too. Much appreciated xx

ineedhelppls I need help socializing because of anxiety
  • replies: 4

My anxiety has gotten so much worse in the past year due to COVID 19. I haven’t socialized with new people in a really long time and recently went to a new school. I had a really hard time socializing. I couldn’t talk to anyone I got paired up with i... View more

My anxiety has gotten so much worse in the past year due to COVID 19. I haven’t socialized with new people in a really long time and recently went to a new school. I had a really hard time socializing. I couldn’t talk to anyone I got paired up with in class, and I hated myself for it. But I got close with one person and they introduced me to someone new who they knew, and now I hang out with them. At first I had a lot of trouble talking to all these new people. But then I thought it was getting better. Until I got confronted by these two people saying how I never message them back, never answer their calls, am always on my phone instead of talking to them and I never pay attention to them. One day at school during lunch I just had my earphones in as I was too scared to say anything, and wanted to have the comfort of being and they said I was rude for this. I understand how it comes across as rude but I tried to explain to them how I can’t help it, and that I never know what to say so I just do what is comfy. But I already told them this before and I was afraid they thought I was just making excuses. My anxiety is ruining everything. It is making me manipulate in situations, it is making me a terrible person. I am afraid of who I am. I feel as if I have become toxic. My friend told me they cant always be there to help me socialize and I realized that I put it too much on them when it is my own problem. I feel so terrible, but I don’t even want to resolve this conflict because yet again it feels like too much energy and I am extremely scared of it. I never have energy to do anything, I can get by but that’s it. I really need help. One of the friends even messaged me asking if I am okay, but I don’t want to reply because if I am honest with them it will seem as if I am guilt tripping. But if I don’t reply it will seem as if I am a bad person. It feels like I could throw up at any moment.

TomC HIV Anxiety / Regret Anxiety
  • replies: 4

Hi, really hoping someone might be able to support me. Last year i had a little too much to drink, and did something i totally regret and am extremely embrassed about. I paid for time with a female SW. I am a married father of two, and this is the fi... View more

Hi, really hoping someone might be able to support me. Last year i had a little too much to drink, and did something i totally regret and am extremely embrassed about. I paid for time with a female SW. I am a married father of two, and this is the first time (and last) i've ever done something silly. I immediately suffered anxiety over numerous potential STD related issues. I worked with my supporters and doctors and recieved the necessary care and testing. HIV was the my concern, as my anxiety told me this is the end if positive. I waited till nearly 6 months post to have the test, was Negative. I immediately moved on from this, and started my recovery. Unfortunately i remained vigilant of the subject, and recently read an article that said a new strain of the virus had been discovered. This immediately started the anxiety pathway again. My anxiety is once again trying find ways of making me not believe the earlier negative result. I have the word and actions consitantly present in my thoughts, and once again i'm heading towards not believing anything i had done last year. Is this common, has anyone experienced this? Any advice? Many Thanks in advance

Mossman Hyper aware of automatic bodily processes
  • replies: 10

Hi, I suffer from both social anxiety and general anxiety. I have been finding that for about the last two months I have become increasingly focused and self-conscious about how I am walking when in public. It starts with me being hyper aware of ever... View more

Hi, I suffer from both social anxiety and general anxiety. I have been finding that for about the last two months I have become increasingly focused and self-conscious about how I am walking when in public. It starts with me being hyper aware of every physical sensation I feel when I am walking, particularly the actions of swinging my arms, to the point were I cannot think about anything else. I become extremely tense and awkward and I end up feeling like I am manually controlling how I swing my arms (something that should pretty much be an automatic function) This makes me worry that I am walking in a really strange way and that people will think I am weird which makes it further harder for me to stop thinking about it. I have done CBT therapy before and have found it useful for 'labelling' intrusive thoughts to create some distance and stop thinking about them. However, I am finding it much harder to stop thinking about the physical sensation of walking as I am constantly reminded of it every second as it is a physical feeling. I am wondering if anyone has felt a similar way in regards to being hyper aware of how they are walking, as well as finding it hard to stop thinking about physical bodily sensations in general. The thing is, I can usually rationalise it and understand that it really doesn't matter if I am walking weird - who cares, it doesn't define me, but it is more the lack of cognitive control in not being able to stop thinking about the physical sensation of walking. I am beginning to wonder that it may be some form of OCD. I similarly have a constant hyper awareness of my heartbeat all the time and find it very difficult to stop thinking about. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it is very tiring and makes me feel like I am dysfunctional. I have recently become quite depressed because of it. I am seeing a psych at the moment and I will bring it up with him.

Snaedis Is it wrong to feel disassociated?
  • replies: 23

Hi guys, So to make it all brief and give some back story. I am staying at home in a town and my classmates also in same town but on campus accomodation. I went into severe depression and anxiety since last year due to a guy and my friends. I decided... View more

Hi guys, So to make it all brief and give some back story. I am staying at home in a town and my classmates also in same town but on campus accomodation. I went into severe depression and anxiety since last year due to a guy and my friends. I decided to cut the guy off because it was just too much (like having anxiety attacks 2-3 times a day and unable to sleep and severe depression). Then due to my depression and anxiety my social interactions with my so called friends decreased and then I came to sudden realisation that they had all kinda just moved on like I wasn't there and made new friend groups. All this people are currently in the same town as me and some of them are nice but I just can't become very close to them. We are in lockdown so I can't see any of them but they all live together and sometimes I feel left out but now mostly I just don't give a crap about friends. IT's not just them but anyone, I feel very disassociated with everyone and don't really want to hang out with anyone, except my Mum at home. It makes me really sad that I feel like that and since I am graduating this year socialising is very important but I just dont care. Can someone tell me if this is bad or wrong to feel so disassociated? Thank you Fam xxx