Young people

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New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

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I'm so tired of life and I'm scared

replies: 3

Hey, I'm a 16 yr old girl in yr 11. I'm not very open about myself and this is really hard for me but I need some advice. I've been struggling with my mental health lately (since last year) and have been feeling extremely down over the years. I've broken down so many times in the past month when I never used to. My biggest struggle is my body image. My waistline is 82cm and I've been feeling really bad about it, especially as all my classmates and friends are always complaining about how 'fat' they are and the calories they consume. I'm scared to eat and I've become extremely conscious about my calorie intact and how many I burn however I am also a huge emotional eater and food is part of my culture and my only happy place at the moment which drags me into a vicious cycle. I do exercise daily and am active, eating healthy (except when I feel horrible, then I eat which has been a lot lately) but my stomach makes me want to lose weight desperately. Due to my classmates and friends negativity (not just about their weight btw) I am hating being at school and dread every day but have to attend most days as it is so hard to miss days during SACE years without falling behind. Due to the extremely high expectations of my grades I put a lot of pressure on myself to do well and feel really stressed to achieve well. I am also struggling with sorting out my emotions over the guy I like and recently found out that one of my closest friends like me and knowing this is hard. He doesn't know I know but he is acting more distant lately since I revealed I still like another guy but I really don't want to lose my friend. All these emotions and pressure is getting to much for me and I'm starting to scare myself. I've often found myself sitting and wanting to hurt myself so badly but being to scared of pain to. I don't want to open up to my parents because they are going through a lot with dad travelling so much for work and my friends are going through their own battles. I don't know what to do and could really use some advice. If you read all this thank you so much for listening to me ramble on :]

Siblings in jail

replies: 2

Hi, I’ve been going through a rough patch lately since both my siblings got locked up and I sometimes feel like didn’t Do enough as an older sibling and I really miss them, we call time to time but it doesn’t feel like home anymore it feels like a em... View more

i dont feel like i fit in

replies: 2

im in year 10 and i started a new school at the start of this year. i know its only been 8 or so weeks but i still dont feel like i fit in anywhere. everyone already have their designated friend groups. at lunch and recess i float around and dont really have a "group" to always be around. i know its still early but i feel so unwanted. another thing, on the bus a peer took a photo of me and made fun of me in a groupchat with their friends. it wasnt a big deal but in the moment i got pretty upset. i told one of my new friends my side of what happened then they asked the person what happened and they made me look like im making a big deal out of nothing. i have issues with cameras and i always get so anxious when theres one infront of me but thats a story for another day. i feel like if i was in my old school then everyone would be abit more understanding. what can i do

Teenager that is lying constantly

replies: 4

I am hoping to please be given some guidance on how to deal with my 14 year old son who is constantly lying. I can’t believe anything he says anymore as he lies about even the most trivial thing. His lies make me feel like I’m going crazy and he turns things back onto me. I feel it could be a personality disorder but have no idea where to go or what to do first. Other times I’ve tried to get help for him with councillors He was put on a list and I’ve never heard back. I really need some help. Thank you

School and social life

replies: 4

Hi! I'm a 16 year old girl in year 11. Ever since I've started highschool, school was a major problem for me. It doesn't feel the same as primary. I've recently moved to a new school and it's killing me. No one wants to talk to me and I've been spending school alone. My mental health has been deteriorating and I don't think I can do school anymore. I was thinking about online school but I'm scared about my social life. I wanna be able to make friends, go out, study with people and talk. I've also been wondering about Tafe but i'm not capable as I'm not 17. I don't know what to do and It's been killing me everyday. I wanna be able to make friends and socialise since these are slowly my last years as a teenager, please give me advice.

First Year Of Uni

replies: 1

I am currently in my first year of university at the age of 25, studying counselling full-time. However, I am finding it more challenging than I anticipated. I graduated from high school in 2016, but even then, I only did the bare minimum to pass. Back then, I never cared about being there, as I was going through personal issues. My mother became addicted to drugs, my father's health was poor, and I had to take care of my younger sister. Despite the challenges, I have experienced a lot in my life and have made significant progress in my mental health. I know that I will be a good counsellor someday. However, I feel like I am learning how to study and work on my own, which is causing me to feel overwhelmed. This feeling is particularly noticeable in my eyes, and I feel a heaviness that is hard to overcome, especially when I should be focusing or researching. I am fortunate to live at home with my dad, who does not charge me rent. However, I do have the added responsibility of helping him. He has stage 4 heart failure and does not support my studies. Instead, he often asks when I will get a job. While I would love to earn my money, I am still struggling with my first seven weeks of university. I have noticed that my old binge-eating habits are coming back, and I am aware that it is probably because I do not want to feel awful. I want to do well, and I understand that I am learning. However, it is taking a toll on my motivation, and I feel alone in this. I know that for the next 5-6 weeks, I will be continuously producing assignments, which is making me stressed out. I would appreciate any tips or advice that you could provide. Thanks, Ursula

Developing myself

replies: 2

Hi everyone, Something that I've struggled with for a while is being by myself. In high school, I spent all of my spare time studying or surrounding myself with other people, so I didn't have that many hobbies and didn't get a chance to develop myself that much. I also have struggled with anxiety and depression since late high school, and continue to struggle with this as a third year university student. I find that now, when I have free time, I don't know what to do- I either try and fill this time up by talking to my friends or my boyfriend, or by trying to do more uni work or socialise, because I don't know what to do with myself. This has been a habit for years. It's also led to me feeling like I've become co-dependent on my boyfriend, and I don't want to smother him, especially since he is a really busy person. I recently realised that I'm jealous of him, because he has a life and interests outside of me, whereas I feel like my entire life revolves around other people. I don't want to become a controlling and smothering girlfriend, and I don't want to feel like I don't have my own identity anymore. I know that I need to start by being more selfish with how I spend my time, and making decisions revolved around what I want to do and not what anyone else wants me to do, but I don't even know how to start this and how to stick with this. Does anyone have any advice for me, or any kind of support and encouragement that they can give me?

Moving back to my old school? yay or nay

replies: 1

Im nearing the end of my schooling years and last year I moved to a new school for better education and more options as I wasn't sure what I wanted to do in the future. I loved it at first but now the buzz of being at a new school has worn off, and lots of the people I became friends with when I moved here has dropped out. I love my classes and what im learning, but I now sit by myself in all my classes and only have one friend who I see on breaks. I have the option to return to my old school, where all my old friends are who I've known forever. I also know what I want to do in the future and my old school (although they only have a quarter of the classes on offer that my new school has) has the classes necessary for me to pursue what I want to do after school. But the school im at now has an overall better education. Do I move back or suck it up for what's left of my school years???

I hate my family, can't afford to leave

replies: 12

There is a lot in this story that I will have to omit to save time and characters. Basically, I have never got along with my father and I feel like he has always been a thorn in my side. Whenever I wanted to do anything in my life, whether it was dating a particular person, play an instrument, be friends with someone or travel, he has always yelled at me and treated me like crap and tried to convince me that I was in the wrong and he took it as a sleight against him. My fathers idea of parenting was to buy me a gaming console and just leave me alone, he never bothered to teach me anything growing up. Every time I questioned him he always told me to ''shh'' and acted like whenever I asked him something I was bothering him. When I wanted to travel, he tried to convince me that someone would plant drugs in my bag and that the plane would crash, which I believe was to deter me from travelling because he hates flying and has never been out of the country. Also, I wanted to play music in school and his immediate response was ''you won't learn to play''. I ended up being very good at guitar, played in many music shows and met some good people through music, he always believed it was a waste of time and I was just making noise to annoy him. As we lived out of town growing up, he would take my brother and sister in his car and when I asked to go, I remember one day that he yelled at me ''you're not coming'' and he left me home. I had to pay forty dollars (I made thirty dollars a week at KFC), to take a taxi into town and back just to see my friends to play a card game at a local game store. Fast forward to now (I'm in my twenties), and I am an absolute loser. I was never taught the value of education and I have only worked minimum wage jobs to get by. I was saving for a house and nearly got a good deposit from my last job of two years (factory worker), but I was bullied out of my job by two managers who were good friends with a lady and her husband who work at the factory. This lady in question got me that job as a favor to my father who was friends with her and her husband. But my father had a falling out with their friend and when it was clear that he had enough of that person, the couple turned on me and so did my managers. One of the managers got me on my own one day and said to me ''if you stay here you will be the most hated person here''. She forged my signature on legal documents, tried to frame me for mistakes, and I never did a thing to her. TBC

I’m terrified of going on school camp

replies: 60

Even though my school camp is months away I am so worried about it and keep bursting into tears and not being able to breath properly however it is compulsory and 10 days long in tents. I think I am scared mostly because people always vomit on camp and I HATE vomit. (Last camp someone vomited and I was up until 2am crying in the nurses room and then I said I felt sick even though I didn’t end up being sick) I am also scared of being away from my family and not being able to get out of it if something bad happens and keep having dreams of me running away into the Forrest to escape. On camp I am scared of getting food poising so I generally don’t eat much at meal times and stick with the packaged things at recess and afternoon tea. I don’t know what to do to feel better when I go on camp and not get so worried. I think I might have a phobia of vomit but I really don’t want to go see anyone about it or talk to anyone in person. Someone please tell me what I can do, should I talk to my year coordinator about my fear of going on camp or do you think I do need to see a phycoligist or is there another way around it note: (we aren’t allowed phones or food on camp)

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

I'm so tired of life and I'm scared replies: 3

Siblings in jail replies: 2

i dont feel like i fit in replies: 2

Teenager that is lying constantly replies: 4

School and social life replies: 4

First Year Of Uni replies: 1

Developing myself replies: 2

Moving back to my old school? yay or nay replies: 1

I hate my family, can't afford to leave replies: 12

I’m terrified of going on school camp replies: 60