I’m failing uni and I don’t know what to do

[Elise_85]

Hi everyon! This is my first post here and i’m kinda nervous but I’m also extremely stressed. For years I thought I wanted to get into childcare, and this year I started my university course for it. I have always loved children and I’m always more than happy to help out with them. At first I was really enjoying the university course, however later in the year things got quite difficult. My boyfriend was diagnosed with cancer which was a huge shock and completely crushed me. My mother had a surgery with 6-12 week recovery time, which meant I really had to step up and help my dad and brother around the house. Caring for my boyfriend, helping my mum and trying to stay on top of the piles of uni work really got to me. I ended up going back into anti-anxiety meds and although both my boyfriend and mother are doing better now, I’m so far behind with uni. Technically I only have 3 days left to submit all my work, some which i haven’t started and I honestly don’t think I can do it. I’m starting to think childcare might not be my passion anymore, but I don’t know if that’s just because I feel so overwhelmed with everything. I don’t want to disappoint my parents or myself but I have never felt this unsure and overwhelmed before. 

any advice would be very appreciated 

thank you!

[Croix]

Dear Elise_85~

Welcome here to hte Forum. I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend and mum.  I'm glad you came here as you sound as if you have had an awful lot on your plate between your boyfriend and your mum/'s medical conditions both needing a great deal of care.  These are the sorts of things that have to be dealt with first in life, and if that meant your studies had to be sacrificed then that was all you could do.

I rather suspect the only reason you are unsure about childcare is becuse of the uni problems. It is all overwhelming and being unsure about your self and direction is only to be expected.

I was a university educator for many years and know that unis want students ot pass, not fail. This can work to your advantage in gaining latitude from your head of school (or modern equivalent). I

f it was me I'd document the life you've had to lead caring for others, include medical certificates or some other form of proofs (their stat decs might do) and a med cert for yourself too if your GP feels like providing one as you have been and are still under a great deal of stress.

Then make a formal request to have your studies deferred, find a coach and complete the work in the newly allotted time.

I think it is important to start this process before your work is technically late, even if you only put in a letter saying you intend to apply for an extension/deferral under extenuating circumstances and more details will follow.

I cannot guarantee your institution will accept this approach, however it does happen and is better than a fail/repeat which has HEX implications.

Do you think you might be up to doing this ?

Croix