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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Just found out about my wife’s long term affair

replies: 4

Hi there, Not sure what to do, my life has been thrown upside down after I found out my wife has been having an affair for the last 8 years. I found out about it from my daughter who saw the messages on her computer. She has shared messages with my wife. I’ve confronted her about it and she admitted the affair. 8 years is 1/3 of my marriage. Her lovers wife doesn’t know about it. I have no idea how to broach the subject with her or if I should? I’m not the perfect husband, I have plenty of issues of my own and haven’t been the best but I have never cheated on her. She doesn’t want to split up, nor do I particularly but I don’t trust her anymore so not sure how to move forward. My health has taken a huge hit, have been to see my doctor for help to reduce my blood pressure which is now at dangerous levels. I have a 15 year old daughter and a 9 year old son to consider in all of this and they are my most important priority. I haven’t told anyone about it including our families due to the embarrassment and pain this has caused me. Devastated is an understatement. I would appreciate some advice from the community on what to do.

No future vision

replies: 2

Ive been married for 5 years to my husband we dated for 7 years prior. 2 years ago he quit his job to pursue a career at home. It didnt work out so now he is trying another job from home, he does not earn any money as yet. We were on the road to buying a house and having kids. Now he says he just wants to finish his work and hopefully never go back to a proper job again. He has not made any money in these 2 years. I have been patient letting him do this because i believe in having no regrets in life. Now i am 30 and we rent living week to week on my income. He has no vision of where we will be in a year and a child is nowhere in it anymore. I feel the pressure to have a child because of my age and because i want to have a family with him i believed he was my soul mate but now my vision of our future is blurry and he doesnt have any regular income. Am i crazy to stick with him even though he is so focused on himself now? We hardly have intimacy, he is always in the computer room. I dont know what to do please help me, i need guidance.

first time posting. New here.

replies: 27

Hi, I'm just reaching out because i am simply lost. I have been a long time sufferer of Depression and now anxiety, infact i would say depression took everything from me. Although i have come a long way from the major depression i suffered a few years back the effects of that time of my life are haunting me so much to the point i can hardly cope anymore. Having depression ruined all i ever had. I was so ill my children ended up with their dad as i was to unwell to give the right care and although i maintain a beautiful, close relationship with my children the guilt of not being there and the guilt of everything i've missed is just too much. My children were young and they were moved 2 hours away so seeing them was hard, simple things like picking them up from school, making them lunches, kissing them good night all went. When you have you're children and hold them for the first time you never expect you aren't going to be the one not to bring them up. My point here is i now have so much guilt it's eating at me,nearly every single thought is me beating myself up about how i wasn't there and how i want it all back to do right, how others look at me etc. It gets so draining being so hard on yourself and i just want the thoughts in my head to stop. Anxiety is now a huge part of my life , i guess i always had it but high doses of anti depressants (which i'm no longer on) would have covered it's now very strong effects. I"ve also been off work for 10 weeks now after a surgery and i think the constant loneliness of being home everyday and not participating in everyday life is also playing a huge part here. I'm simply sick of crying and i'm drained and i just thought i could maybe reach out here. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Worried about the isolation affects on young children

replies: 3

Hi Everyone, I am new here. I have often clicked on the beyond blue website page though I over the course of the last 10 years. I have suffered from anxiety and depression (mostly anxiety) in the past. Breathing techniques and yoga has always helped me greatly but often it isn’t enough. I have one, young primary aged child who I obsessively worry about. He loves games on the screen and I am obsessed with the fact that too much screen time is in some way damaging his mental health. My worry is compounded by the fact my partner completely disagrees and thinks screen time is a positive thing. This causes a lot of arguments.We don’t have a backyard, though we do have a balcony big enough for skipping. I should say this worry is compounded by the current crisis in and that my child had a broken bone injury a few weeks ago and so he has also been inside a lot before the stage 3 restrictions. Also I had quit my job last year due to stress and have now gone back on a casual basis. Due to covid this casual work has now ceased and my income has been halved (although I am thankful for the $550 pw I am eligible for). The worry is too is that I was trying to get out of one career and get back to my old career (one which there are literally no jobs in at the moment due to covid). So the metal stress of realising I have to probably stick with something I was finding stressful anyway...as there aren’t too many other job options..has been hard. I have had some casual work over zoom....Then there is the pressure of knowing I should feel grateful for at least being qualified and capable of doing work that will be in need at some point. I am very concerned for the mental health of all children during this crisis. But I am still trying to find the right coping mechanisms for myself. Things I have been doing: - walking each day on or bike riding with my child even if brief each day - playing audio books form my child as well as reading But much of the time has still been screen. I obsessively read web posts about what to do with kids to keep them occupied at this time... He is usually a pretty happy kid but this covid crisis affects everyone and he has been sad which is so so hard to see. Anyway, just sharing. I would love to hear from other parents unsure about screen use but finding other options just impossible at the moment. Thanks for reading.

New here, I don't know what's going on in my mind

replies: 2

Hi there! Most of my life I've always been a bit of a "neat freak" or "germaphobe". Over the past 4 years it's been getting worse and worse. Started off with not liking to share my drinks, changing my bed sheets often, not sitting on public toilets etc. As I got older, anything sexual or kissing freaked me out so bad. I got over that stage kind of, but still find it a bit revolting. But now I cry or have panick attacks when I don't feel clean. I always sleep in hoodie and long pants so I don't have to touch my bed. The only time I'll sleep in something else than that is the night I put the sheets on. I can't walk bare foot inside a house, that scares me. Can't sleep in another side of the bed if I've slept on one side more. If clothes have touched the ground, I throw it to the wash. If I think something is dirty, even when it's not, and I know it's not, I'll still think about it untill I get a headache and I must clean it or change it or whatever. If I get an itch on my back while in bed, I change my sheets immediately. I do too many things, there's just too much to list, but it's driving me mad and I don't know what's wrong with me. Plus my family ignores me cause they find my habits annoying but they don't understand how much it effects me. Please help :((

I'm new here and struggling with a lot of frustration

replies: 11

Hi everyone, I'm new here and wanted to say a bit about my current situation. I suffer from anxiety mostly, occasionally panic attacks but not much depression. I have type 2 diabetes, sleep apnea, am very overweight and a few other health issues too. I have been told I am more vulnerable if I get the coronavirus. I always seem to have a sinus infection and last year after I travelled overseas I got sick at the end of the trip and it took 2 months to get better. I believe if I get Coronavirus that it will hit me hard. I have done everything right now to plan my isolation. I get my groceries delivered and have arranged to get medication delivered next week. And I am not visiting anyone or leaving my place or garden except some days to go for a walk. I am washing my hands very frequently, cleaning things in my room and doing everything possible not to get the virus. I live in the downstairs basement of my parents house. They are quite elderly but unfortunately they are not taking things seriously. Although they get priority delivery of groceries as a result of their age, they still go out to the shops and supermarket nearly every day. They are not careful about washing their hands, touching things or keeping a distance from other people. And they have my brother visit them inside the house (upstairs) several days a week. He lives in a seperate place but works in a public office with people coming in and out all the time. I have tried to advise my parents about the risks of getting Coronavirus for me and for them. However they are ignoring not just my advice but also the government's guidelines and putting me unnecessarily at risk. While it's true I can mostly stay in my unit, I still have to use the washing machine and occasionally cook in the kitchen upstairs. I have tried all manner of things to communicate to them but it makes no difference. My elderly neighbours and friend's parents are all doing the right thing which makes it more frustrating. My family just don't get the seriousness of it, and take it very casually and continue to defy the government's advice. So my anxiety goes through the roof which means I eat more and my blood sugar goes up, or it goes up anyway with stress. And if it's uncontrolled then it makes my risk even greater if I get coronavirus. I have tried talking to my friends and on facebook but people just don't reply or also aren't taking it seriously. I feel very isolated and alone. I can do my work but have noone to talk to.

I am new here

replies: 2

Hi everyone my name is Jack 30 year old Geelong man I am new here

Stoic Ted

replies: 1

Well, I’ve been writing intermittently about my own misery in journals, blogs and diaries for the last thirty-odd years and it just seemed I wasn’t getting the answers I needed, so here I am. Profile: depression and anxiety, dysthymia, baldness and a nagging need to write. Fifty-four years on this ball of dirt and about forty of them carrying the genetic burden of mental illness. Somehow it feels just a little exciting to know that someone else might read this. Like you, I have a long history of events, episodes and pain that have darkened my life. I go through stages, like now, of trying to write through, write about, write out of depression and once the worst is over I lose the urge. When I’m out of a depressive episode I don’t want to re-visit it because, funnily enough, it makes me depressed thinking about it. But, deeper than that, I really do want to explore how depression, especially, has shaped and framed my life. Right now, I reckon I’ve just climbed back up the cliff that I metaphorically threw myself off six months ago. My mood has stabilised, I can look beyond my own interior landscape and take a step or two in any direction I like. Time to give something back, me. It’s a grey day outside, Ted (an old soft toy) is in the window but no one is going past our house to see him. Poor old thing. Our daughter loved him for years, only stopped sleeping with him when she was fifteen and realised that she was too old for that. He’s slumped somewhat to the left as if deep in thought. But he is relaxed, stoic, knowing that he will get through the lockdown. One day at a time.

Newby on here..hoping to make beyond blue buddies

replies: 2

Hi.. hope you're all doing the best you can in these scary times. This is my first post on here and I'm looking forward to chatting and getting to know you all. I have depression and anxiety.. I struggle with both daily. I'm hoping to give and get support or advice with related issues. A little bit about me.. I am female,37, i live by myself in a coastal town in Queensland. I'm interested in singing and music as well as painting and sketching.. all of which I find very good therapy. Thanks so much for reading my post. Many thanks

Feeling Isolated

replies: 3

I've had so much trouble registering onto this website that my anxiety is worse than usual. Glad to have joined tho cos am SO isolated. Never see or talk to anyone. Go shopping once a week. Was reasonably ok til I heard this quarantining could go on ... View more

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Just found out about my wife’s long term affair replies: 4

No future vision replies: 2

first time posting. New here. replies: 27

Worried about the isolation affects on young children replies: 3

New here, I don't know what's going on in my mind replies: 2

I'm new here and struggling with a lot of frustration replies: 11

I am new here replies: 2

Stoic Ted replies: 1

Newby on here..hoping to make beyond blue buddies replies: 2

Feeling Isolated replies: 3