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Rosa-eve Finally started medication and went to a psychologist and feel worse than ever!
  • replies: 4

So....after trying to deal with depression and anxiety for along time now without any help, I finally started taking some medication a few days ago. I do realise it takes a while to have any effect. At the moment I find it hard to believe taking a pi... View more

So....after trying to deal with depression and anxiety for along time now without any help, I finally started taking some medication a few days ago. I do realise it takes a while to have any effect. At the moment I find it hard to believe taking a pill will make me feel better. But that is probally because I just can't even imagine feeling better at this point. I think I'm just hoping it will take the edge off the anxiety if nothing else. What has made me feel worse is seeing the psychologist. I know it has been said before that you might not find someone who works for you straight away and to not give up. Try and find someone who does. Today really made me feel like giving up. It took a hell of a lot for me to actually go and see someone. I have never talked about the things that have happened in my life. And not entirely sure how seeing a psychologist will help. Not sure what I expect to happen. Mabey I just ended up seeing the wrong person. She wasn't who I was refered to. The doctor talked me into seeing someone and refered me to someone who he said was very good. But when I rang for an appointment I was told he was booked out untill the end of May. But I could see someone else this week. I'm thinking that mabey she was so easy to get an appointment with because she isn't that good. I was bulk billed at least. But am amazed that it would have cost $150 for pretty much nothing. Other than to make me walk out feeling like there was just no point in talking to anyone. The letter from the doctor that I gave her said that I was severely depressed. It said how I had a history of abuse. etc. So she asked a couple of questions, one about where I work. I said how I needed to find another job as I'm not getting enough work to keep me going. She asked if I was looking for something else. I said I had previously but I don't have the energy to put into finding another job here, when what I really want to do is move back to Canberra. So, her advise was to look on all homes for places to rent and apply for jobs. End of story. That was it. Would I like to make another appointment to see her another time. So I have mentioned suicide to her (that's how I feel, but no I wont do that to my son) she has something in front of her telling her I have severe depression and a whole lot more. And for $150 all I get is "do I have the internet so I can look up places to rent" To Neil and all the other wonderfull people here who offer advice....... you are all worth a fortune. You offer so much more help, understanding and care than what I got today. So, should I try again and wait to see the psychologist the doctor recomended? Does it help if you talk to someone who is good at what they do? I've always been so reluctant to ever talk to anyone. There has been a couple of times in life that I have tried to explain to people how I feel. But trying to tell anyone who doesn't understand depression just makes it worse. It feels to me like drowning. You have your hand up hoping for someone to pull you out and instead they look at you and push you under. Sorry for any rambling! And thanks, from Rosa

MelB2 NEWBIE - Have just come off meds and doent know if what I am experiencing is normal or not?
  • replies: 4

Hi, I am new to the forums and wanted to get some feedback from fellow sufferers. I have just come of an antidepressant after being on it for about 10 years. I was on a low maintenance dose for the last few years and finally felt I was strong enough ... View more

Hi, I am new to the forums and wanted to get some feedback from fellow sufferers. I have just come of an antidepressant after being on it for about 10 years. I was on a low maintenance dose for the last few years and finally felt I was strong enough to come off it all together. I have a family history of depression and anxiety on both my Maternal and Paternal side, but was only diagnosed when I had major breakdown after the birth of my first child. Once I got well I could see that basically since I was a teen I had been experiencing depression on and off, but didnt know it. In fact the post-natal breakdown was not my first, but as I never shared with anyone what was going on in my head no-one knew about it. Anyway, I ceased my meds nearly 3 weeks ago - weaned off as per the doctors instructions - and now I am having periods of great sorrow or great anger for little or no reason. I am wondering if this is like a period of stabilisation and it is a normal part of not having the chemicals helping to keep me level? We just came back from a holiday about a week ago and since then it seems to have come on quite badly. I thought it might be post holiday blues, but am really nervous that I might be relapsing. I am scared also that having been on the meds for so long, Ive forgotten what "normal" feels like. All I know is that I am not happy at the moment.

longbob Meds and withdrawal
  • replies: 2

I think BeyondBlue are a fantastic organization. I have finally registered, partly because I was seeking some advice from others re meds and withdrawals. However I noticed that the Forums do not allow any mention of these topics. Where can I seek hel... View more

I think BeyondBlue are a fantastic organization. I have finally registered, partly because I was seeking some advice from others re meds and withdrawals. However I noticed that the Forums do not allow any mention of these topics. Where can I seek help? My doc is vague and I want some answers. The sun still comes up every morning

Beetle AD's with controlled release capsule: HUGE differnce experienced if taken with or without food
  • replies: 1

HI Just want to share my experience with AD's. I am on an SNRI and taking it for 6 month now. My drug is a capsule and enteric coated so that it is supposed to pop open in the small intestines and not in stomach. Apparently taken with or wihout food ... View more

HI Just want to share my experience with AD's. I am on an SNRI and taking it for 6 month now. My drug is a capsule and enteric coated so that it is supposed to pop open in the small intestines and not in stomach. Apparently taken with or wihout food doesn't affect the med. Well I had massive problems with nausea and abdominal pain etc. Had no idea why,.went to doc had tests etc pp. noone found what's wrong.I decided it must be all in m y head then..... However I did a bit research and found that those capsules CAN open up earlier if taken with food. They can then metabolise into toxins which create nausea etc. pp. Well I decided to be a guinea pig and took my med BEFORE breaky with heaps of water instead if WITH breaky. guess what: the nausea is gone. the tummy ache too PLUS the med seems to work much better, I feel more positive and more grounded than before. Just my 50 cents. There is so much doctors don't know or don't tell you. Thank god for research. Be your own doc. Im so releaved I found the solution to my nausea. Food here I come! Happy beetle

angeplussix how to talk
  • replies: 5

I can write away and tell you all my darkest secrets that not many people know (1person) but I am at the point in my life at this crisis where in order to get better I must talk. But when the psychologists come around or I go see them I laugh and mak... View more

I can write away and tell you all my darkest secrets that not many people know (1person) but I am at the point in my life at this crisis where in order to get better I must talk. But when the psychologists come around or I go see them I laugh and make my problems seem comical and menial. But really all I want to do is start from the beginning but that is not the here and now so that is not what is asked of you . Your asked what brought you here today and it maybe an arguement that made you feel worthless( cause thats what the other person called you and you believe them even though they are an arse) or an array of built up emotions . But honestly I am here because I had a childhood that was yuk. I feel very at ease on here . I feel I can detach myself from my life and talk/write in a clinical manner about my childhood but to do it in person is an impossible task but I am yearning to do. How do you start such a talk

zabelli Tapering off anti depressants...
  • replies: 5

I have been on anti depressants for 5yrs now and for the past 2months I have tried tapering down and eventually off. I'm not sure if this is a question or somewhere for me to 'talk' about it. I guess I'm interested to see if anyone else is/has experi... View more

I have been on anti depressants for 5yrs now and for the past 2months I have tried tapering down and eventually off. I'm not sure if this is a question or somewhere for me to 'talk' about it. I guess I'm interested to see if anyone else is/has experienced this. AD's did wonders for my mental health, it saved me. But I'm at a point in my life where I want to stand on my own two feet. Ever since tapering off though I have really bad days where I'm tunnel visioned and can't seem to pick myself up. I'm always on the verge of crying and my anxiety is crazy! I feel like my depression is back and that's my biggest fear. I don't know what feelings are real or what is just in my head as my mind adjusts to new seratonin levels. Do I continue with the reduction? Or give up and keep taking my meds for the rest of my life. I'm on a high dosage and the side effects are so bad I'm at a loss!!!!

emax Online course to help with anxiety
  • replies: 3

Hello everyone, I am new to beyondblue. I've been doing an online course to help cope with anxiety and I'm finding it kinda helpful but thought maybe if I had somewhere to talk to others who feel the same way I do it might make it easier to manage. S... View more

Hello everyone, I am new to beyondblue. I've been doing an online course to help cope with anxiety and I'm finding it kinda helpful but thought maybe if I had somewhere to talk to others who feel the same way I do it might make it easier to manage. Some days I feel like the world is a dark and scary place and I am filled with dread and anxiety and hopelessness and other days i think 'nah, I'm fine, it's all ok, I WILL BE GREAT today", then i remember i forgot to get milk or something trivial and it all comes unhinged again. I like exercising to Jessie J and Ellie Goulding because it makes me feel happier and calmer and cycle sprints give such a rush of endorphins, but some days it all seems like it will be too much effort so i just don't bother. I wear myself out thinking and overthinking and trying to solve the worlds problems from inside my head, and just need to learn how to calm myself down and chill (or do something to distract myself) and to realise I'm not alone with this, that others go through it too and whilst I may not be mentally OK, I am only human and one day I will be. Hope to make some buddies here that can grow with me

Beetle Slipped back into balck hole-missed AB, stressed and sicklish
  • replies: 3

HI AllI am pretty stressed out at the moment. New job, health concerns and worry and had just a quite intense medical procedure done. I am on AB's every morning and yesterday I forgot to take my AB, I didn't realize I forgot until I looked at the pac... View more

HI AllI am pretty stressed out at the moment. New job, health concerns and worry and had just a quite intense medical procedure done. I am on AB's every morning and yesterday I forgot to take my AB, I didn't realize I forgot until I looked at the packet at night. I felt pretty down and 'isolated' . isolated in terms off having this tunnel vision & feeling disconnected from everyone around me. I could physically feel the darkness sucking me back into it. At work I could not engage with people and felt like I wasn't really there and caught myself thinking suicidal thoughts.Somehow I made it through the shift, floating around forcing myself to 'engage'. Somehow it worked, I finoished my duties, I made it home.I felt awful this morning, forced breaky into me, took my pill and could feel that it started working after an hour.This whole experience was pretty scary and I wonder if one missed pill can have such an effect? I take a Serotonin and noradrenaline reuptake inhibitor for severe depression and anxiety.Has anyone experienced such a thing were one missed pill threw u back? Or is it in my head? Am I paranoid to slip back into my suicidal world were I have been for so long?thanks to all those wonderful people on this forum.Love Beetle.

SillySonia New psychologist today
  • replies: 2

I have seen various professionals over the years ranging from counsellor, to psychologist and psychiatrist and not found them to be beneficial. Today I had my second appointment with a new psychologist in Sydney and I was quite happy. He is very unde... View more

I have seen various professionals over the years ranging from counsellor, to psychologist and psychiatrist and not found them to be beneficial. Today I had my second appointment with a new psychologist in Sydney and I was quite happy. He is very understanding and totally understands me. He speaks like a regular guy not this doctor patient tone. He is getting me to complete a diary where I write down my thoughts and feelings and what I did about them. Then he will identify the pattern and get me to change it. Not going to happen overnight though. He says that western society has conditioned us to think in a particular way. He uses CBT and eastern philosophy to help his clients. I have a nervous tendency to pull my hair and this results in hair getting all over the place much to the annoyance of family and friends. I now have to try not to pull my hair. That's my homework this week. Apparently every time I resist I am creating new neural pathways in my brain. Maybe that's something that each of you can start doing today. If you have a nervous habit like biting your fingernails etc when you feel anxious, recognise this and try hard to resist. Do something else with the hands.

Ryan_S Trying not to chicken out this time
  • replies: 4

For the past six years or so, I have constantly thought all the horrible thoughts I can think about myself, that I am hopeless, stupid, fat, unlovable, ugly, mean, lazy all of it. Every now and again I think about suicide, sometimes guilt is the only... View more

For the past six years or so, I have constantly thought all the horrible thoughts I can think about myself, that I am hopeless, stupid, fat, unlovable, ugly, mean, lazy all of it. Every now and again I think about suicide, sometimes guilt is the only thing that stops me. Whenever I imagine it I think about my mother finding my body, or my ex hearing about it and maybe feeling guilt and I realise I can't put those people through that. I don't want guilt to be the only thing that keeps me living any more. About 6 months ago I decided to see a counsellor and after two months of talking about it and not doing it something got in the way. I fell in love with my first girlfriend. This of course did not stop all those horrible feelings and thoughts but it was like a big beautiful band aid of the problem. Two months ago she broke up with me due to personal problems (her own depression after some horrible experiences that happened to her). All those horrible feelings came rushing back worse than they ever were before. I went back to thinking about counselling but could never quite work up the courage to knock on the door and ask for help. Three days ago I reached out to a friend after a night where for the first time I burst out crying completely unprompted by anything. It was definitely one of two low points. I reached out to a friend that night and told her I needed help. I asked her to come with me to book a session with a counsellor at University. I have avoided her ever since. There are so many things that actually scare me about all of this. I am frightened that the counsellor is going to tell me that I actually don't need counselling and I need to "suck it up". I am scared that they aren't going to be able to help me. I'm scared I'm not actually meant to be seeing a counsellor and maybe I'm meant to be seeing a psychologist/ psychiatrist/ monk/ voodoo lord. Basically its a bit of a last straw and I'm worried if this doesn't work what I can do next. I have resolved that tomorrow I am going to finally book an appointment and I was wondering if anyone had any advice on what I can expect.