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madfickle I am desperate.
  • replies: 8

I'm 26F and have been struggling with mental illness my entire life. I have had multiple diagnoses and I don't know what's right and wrong, but I'll just list them all: 5 years old: ADHD, ODD, conduct disorder 6 years old: Autism 8 years old: Depress... View more

I'm 26F and have been struggling with mental illness my entire life. I have had multiple diagnoses and I don't know what's right and wrong, but I'll just list them all: 5 years old: ADHD, ODD, conduct disorder 6 years old: Autism 8 years old: Depression, Anxiety, OCD 19 years old: Borderline personality disorder (this one is 100% BS), DPDR, pseudopsychosis (idk what this one is and it has never been addressed as far as I'm aware, but it's still on my records) 20 years old: PTSD I have not been successfully treated for any one of these. I was close to 100% compliant and optimistic with new treatments until about 2 years ago, but I have now completely and utterly lost all hope. As a child I had a paediatrician, psychiatrist, psychologist and occupational therapist, and since I turned 18 I have nearly consistently had a psychologist and psychiatrist. I have also consistently been given scripts for medication since childhood which keep me up for days and give me the worst brain fog. There were a few other meds as well, but due to severe side effects I was on them for less than a month. I am well aware that I was over-medicated in childhood. Some of the doses I was on exceeded the recommended max for children and teens. I have also done CBT countless times, DBT twice, ACT, interpersonal therapy, ketamine therapy, ECT, TMS, acupuncture, hypnotherapy, mindfulness therapy, and EMDR. The last couple of years I have been refusing things I have already tried - which is basically everything from what I'm being told. But I am being met with accusations of cynicism and not wanting to help myself. I don't think I have ever learned anything from therapy - nothing that particularly resonates or is useful anyway. Nobody listens to me, nobody believes me. From my experience, psychologists latch onto one thing you say that their textbooks teach them how to manage and zero in on that. It's nearly impossible to get them to see the big picture, and it's impossible for them to not jump to conclusions about how I think or feel. I have never felt heard by a psychologist/counsellor/social worker/psychiatrist/etc. in my entire life. I know I'm supposed to help myself and therapists provide tools, but I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I don't know what I'm feeling, but I am constantly in absolutely excruciating agony from whatever this is. I am inherently a bad person too. I am selfish, I hurt people and don't feel guilty about it, I have an extreme amount of rage and need for retribution when I feel there has been an injustice against me, I am a pathological liar just to make myself look better/superior, etc. I am just about ready to give up because I see no hope. I don't see any opportunity to be better. If this is how I'm going to continue feeling, I can't live. I simply can't.

javalava13 Struggling to know how to speak to my psych
  • replies: 2

Hi, I've been going through a pretty low stage for the past few months and have gotten used to this very low bar of mood. I've also just been very in my own head (more than normal) so have a few things I wanted to come to this forum to share and I wo... View more

Hi, I've been going through a pretty low stage for the past few months and have gotten used to this very low bar of mood. I've also just been very in my own head (more than normal) so have a few things I wanted to come to this forum to share and I would love any advice. I've been having some suicidal thoughts which I was speaking to my psychologist about. I've been feeling slightly better after about 3 weeks of these intense thoughts (I think?) but I'm just so confused where I'm at. I have a real issue with judging myself for feeling depressed or having suicidal thoughts, often thinking I am just trying to get attention when I open up about this. I have been having less of the really concerning/harmful thoughts but I am still incredibly low and never don't just want to disappear. I don't really know what the problem is or what I'm asking for advice on but I am just having trouble explaining where I am at to my psych because while I am still feeling incredibly low and hopeless, I am not feeling at risk so think I'm judging myself for complaining at all. I also don't know if I am actually doing enough to get out of this spot because sometimes I feel like I just want to sit in the low emotions and am not trying hard enough to feel better, but I feel too guilty/ashamed to admit that. Another thing I was hoping for advice on was talking about was how to speak about a fear of sex or intimacy with my psych. I have raised it once or twice so she knows about it briefly, but it is something I really, really want and feel I need to fix, or work through, as I feel so insecure in every part of my life because of it. I don't know how to raise it, or ask her to focus more of my sessions on it, because I feel so uncomfortable talking about it. Just for context, I am 26 and have literally done nothing remotely intimate with anyone because I am so uncomfortable. I know this is a lot and I am jumping around, but honestly any advice would be incredibly appreciated.

Succulent Queen Replies
  • replies: 4

Has anyone else noticed a lack of people replying to others posts on BB forums?I havent been active for a couple years and on returning this is something that stood out to me.Just pondering why that might be...

Has anyone else noticed a lack of people replying to others posts on BB forums?I havent been active for a couple years and on returning this is something that stood out to me.Just pondering why that might be...

Succulent Queen Transcranial Magnetic Therapy
  • replies: 2

Hi All,I'll keep this short as today is absolutely rubbish.Has anyone out there tried TMS and what is your honest opinion/results.Anything you can tell me would be wonderful. Thanks All.

Hi All,I'll keep this short as today is absolutely rubbish.Has anyone out there tried TMS and what is your honest opinion/results.Anything you can tell me would be wonderful. Thanks All.

Chizel59 Medication/treatment
  • replies: 2

I have a diagnosis of schizophrenia. I won't deny that. It should have been in the past. But now I'm having trouble getting employment. At volunteer work, even the manager treats me not so nicely on purpose, in my opinion so I have no where else to g... View more

I have a diagnosis of schizophrenia. I won't deny that. It should have been in the past. But now I'm having trouble getting employment. At volunteer work, even the manager treats me not so nicely on purpose, in my opinion so I have no where else to go or so. I'm seeing a contrast amongst the other volunteers to myself. Everyone else seems to be happy to see me. It's got to me that the manager does this even though I have no obligation for this work. Now family or so keeps calling the psych teams time after time and I keep getting refused. I had trouble breathing while sleeping so I went to ED and they took me into the psych ward which looks like they will force medication and involuntary treatment. Which got me last time and looks like has got to me again. The medication sedates me too much that I can't function at work and social interactions. If I want to live my best life I suppose, I must stay off this involuntary treatment. I have a tribunal coming in some time. Wish me luck. I can get into it. Thanks,

Natalie22 GAD Diagnosis
  • replies: 2

Hi. A lot has been going on since I posted last. I have been seeing a psychologist who pushed to include my GP in the plan and goals. I did reluctantly give permission. I was 'encouraged' to agree to get an assessment with a psychiatrist which would ... View more

Hi. A lot has been going on since I posted last. I have been seeing a psychologist who pushed to include my GP in the plan and goals. I did reluctantly give permission. I was 'encouraged' to agree to get an assessment with a psychiatrist which would be helpful.I said yes and I have to say that the assessment was tough and she came up with the diagnosis of GAD. I know it gives my psychologist more of a basis for treatment, also my GP. Couple of years ago I was told that I had functional neurological disorder but this has been ruled out now with both neuro and psychiatrist. I have to say that I am relieved and happy about that. I am struggling a bit at the moment as I have moved into a new position at work and I am finding it a bit overwhelming but it will settle in time.But overall I am glad that things are over with assessment etc and psychologist will back off a bit. Not fan of having a diagnosis as I have never been a fan of labels, but what do you do.

chjb Restarting SSRI and feeling concerned
  • replies: 3

I’ve never posted before & trying not to ‘Dr Google’ symptoms so I don’t spiral but just felt I needed some advice.i have an appointment with my psychologist today and Dr next week so i will seek medical advice but im just feeling really anxious!afte... View more

I’ve never posted before & trying not to ‘Dr Google’ symptoms so I don’t spiral but just felt I needed some advice.i have an appointment with my psychologist today and Dr next week so i will seek medical advice but im just feeling really anxious!after having my son I had terrible sleep deprivation and anxiety. I had insomnia for weeks and would sleep 2 hours at a time and wake feeling burning hot and full of tension and anxiety. I struggled with this for nearly 8 weeks before starting an SSRI. Of course it increased the anxiety ten fold but after about 3 months I felt like myself again. I stayed on the SSRI 10mg until last year when I wanted to loose weight and I stopped in Nov 23 but as Dec rolled around and I was working long hours and weekends I just felt after Christmas (and being away, not sleeping well etc) that I had that impending anxiety doom creep up again and I was irritable with my kids and just feeling flat. I decided that the weightloss wasn’t worth it and started on the SSRI again on 1 Jan 24. I titrated up 5mg 1st week7.5mg 2nd week10mg third week. I’m on day 11 of 10 mg and suddenly just feeling a surge of panic, anxiety and sleeplessness which I thought was odd second time around and week 4 into starting.starting to spiral think that the meds aren’t working or something sinister is wrong- all the catastrophic thinking and the physical flushing/skin prickly feelings beyond my control.I am exhausted and have been taking something to help me sleep (young kids, don’t always get a solid sleep!) but I’m just really scared and down after having a pretty good week last week not needing any sleep meds. I’m really scared of changing meds and going through the process all over again but also acknowledging I haven’t been on the 10mg for a fortnight yet. I can’t remember how I tolerated it last time but I don’t remember been quite this anxious. I’ve lost more weight starting the SSRI again than stopping lol

Janie223 Confused as to whether I should persist with current therapist
  • replies: 6

Hi All, thanks for taking the time to read this. over the last ten years I have had three different therapists and very different experiences with each of them. The first was a short term therapist and I saw her for ten weeks. The second I did not ge... View more

Hi All, thanks for taking the time to read this. over the last ten years I have had three different therapists and very different experiences with each of them. The first was a short term therapist and I saw her for ten weeks. The second I did not gel with at all and it was very clear after three appointments that it wasn’t going to work out. My current psychologist I have been seeing for two years and I really like her and we have developed a really nice relationship. She suggested I have social anxiety and depression as a result of the anxiety - I think she is spot on. im just unsure as to whether to continue seeing her because we just do a lot of talking without much of anything else. She always has insightful things to say but I wonder whether there should be more to therapy than just talking? and I know I have improved in the time I’ve been seeing her but I am just waiting to feel better and hoping it will happen soon. I have had anxiety since early childhood and now at 35 I worry this is something I will always have to deal with so therapy might just be something I have to do forever. or are there therapists who are more structured in their approach and I could get a quicker outcome with another therapist? I’m very much at a crossroad as to whether to keep with it and see the little improvements as a win and think of this as a long term relationship or do I need to find someone who can help me make more changes more quickly? If there is such a thing?? I wish there was a quick fix! and also, I know how hard it is to find someone to work with and have them understand, so I am reluctant to have to start the process of building rapport with someone else.

chillipower Desperately need physiatrist but can’t get any
  • replies: 6

I’ve been trying for over 4 months, 5 different trips to my gp for referrals and no physiatrist will take me. they never even get back to me. i just don’t know what to do any more. i know i desperately need to get help but i don’t have any other opti... View more

I’ve been trying for over 4 months, 5 different trips to my gp for referrals and no physiatrist will take me. they never even get back to me. i just don’t know what to do any more. i know i desperately need to get help but i don’t have any other options left but to keep my fingers crossed for several more months. it’s extremely important i see one and i don’t know how much longer i can hold out. is there any thing else i can do?

Neenie87 Natural Remedies
  • replies: 4

Hi! Has anyone tried any natural remedies from either a Naturopath or health food store that has helped with there Anxiety, Depression or Panic attacks?

Hi! Has anyone tried any natural remedies from either a Naturopath or health food store that has helped with there Anxiety, Depression or Panic attacks?