Supporting family and friends

Share tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition, and seeking support for your own wellbeing.

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Sophie_M Parents and caregivers: How are you feeling about the social media restrictions for under 16s?
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone, It’s hard to miss the talk around the new social media restrictions for under 16s, set to roll out across Australia in early December. We’ve heard from some of the younger members of our community, and now we’d love to hear from parents... View more

Hey everyone, It’s hard to miss the talk around the new social media restrictions for under 16s, set to roll out across Australia in early December. We’ve heard from some of the younger members of our community, and now we’d love to hear from parents and caregivers. For some, this change might feel like a welcome relief - a clearer way to manage social media use and protect young people. For others, there may be concerns about how it will affect access to online support, questions around how age verification will actually work, or frustration and powerlessness over a decision beyond our control. All of these feelings are valid. If you’re a parent or caregiver, or you have some young people in your life that will be affected by these restrictions, how are you feeling about this change? We’ve created this space for anyone caring for young people to share their thoughts, ask questions, and support each other through the uncertainty of the months ahead.Kind regardsSophie M

Carmela Are you supporting a depressed partner? My tips from 18 years of experience
  • replies: 41

This list has been compiled from experiences supporting my husband with depression. There is no one size fits all, so please take what you are comfortable with based on your circumstances and resources. 1. Reach out to family and/or friends to feel s... View more

This list has been compiled from experiences supporting my husband with depression. There is no one size fits all, so please take what you are comfortable with based on your circumstances and resources. 1. Reach out to family and/or friends to feel supported - this also covers support groups - online or face to face. Don't let stigma stop you from reaching out. 2. Relationship boundaries - identify what is acceptable and not. My general platform is that physical abuse is unacceptable as well as regular demeaning/berating comments. Communicate this openly so everyone understands. 3. Coping tools - this could be exercise, meditation, reading a book, meeting friends, etc. They are important for your mental health. 4. Knowledge is power - research to understand about depression. The more you know, the better care you can provide. 5. Remember your partner in the good times - this is their true selves, not the darkness. 6. Listen and show receptivity - without judgement or anger. If communicate becomes strained, the timeout can provide clarity. Encourage communication gently and try not to push. 7. Seek counselling - sharing your feelings can provide an opportunity to off load the heavy stuff and identify resilience and coping strategies. 8. Work as a team - don't let mental illness be in the driver's seat. Offer to go to the Dr's and support them. Understand medication and side effects. Be understanding that some days are harder than others. 9. Words are powerful - remember what you say cannot be taken back. 10. Carer Self-esteem and self-worth - if you compromise these for the sake of supporting your partner, you are likely to live with resentment towards your partner and the circumstances you find yourself in. 11. Don't forget the children - challenging circumstances at home can affect them mentally and emotionally. Speak about mental illness (COPMI.com.au - has some great resources) and be a strong foundation toward maintaining normality in their daily activities. 12. Intimacy - there are many variables here, so from my experience - keep communication open and make couple time to connect. When my husband was depressed, daily hugs or holding hands wherever possible worked for us. Some carers I have spoken with said their partner would demand intimacy. My personal position is that intimacy is about love without demands or attachments relating to expectation. Demands only deplete the goodness in the connection and sharing a a loving experience. [Moderator's note: this thread is for sharing tips on what has worked for you in supported a loved one with a mental health condition. In order to help us keep this thread focused on solutions, please start a new thread if you are seeking support from the community around how to best support your loved one.]

All discussions

MandyLou Support / advice for parent for 25 yr old son with MH and alcohol addiction depression and suicidal.
  • replies: 2

Hello I would be greatful to hear how other parents of adult children living at home cope with supporting them .After years of suicidal idiolatiion, after his first and recent suicide attempt the ED after 10 hours waiting sent him home after asking h... View more

Hello I would be greatful to hear how other parents of adult children living at home cope with supporting them .After years of suicidal idiolatiion, after his first and recent suicide attempt the ED after 10 hours waiting sent him home after asking him are you feeling safe now the alcohol has worn off and yes sent him home. We returned 2 days later waited 13.5 hours in ED waiting room before seeing a Dr then MH person to be told there’s no point him staying in hospital as it’s the alcohol that’s the problem. long story short. It took 3 weeks to get a team in place no thanks to the hospital. He has re engaged with a psychiatrist , counsellor and psychologist. He literally fell through the system with the detox apts. I’m now advocating for him. How do you cope when they drink every night, demanding more than the agreed amount and the Valium and meds still aren’t enough for the anxiety.dual treatment ( MH and addiction) is hard to find in the public system. I’m looking after myself. I have stopped work for a month as I cannot leave him on his own he’s not safe. I have family helping. Thank you for reading.

Guest_10139 Help for a mate
  • replies: 1

I have been in a situation where someone I know seemed to be having a "mental breakdown", it probably is called. Received several weird messages and later found out that she was brought to a hospital. This was perhaps a year ago. She came back Ok aft... View more

I have been in a situation where someone I know seemed to be having a "mental breakdown", it probably is called. Received several weird messages and later found out that she was brought to a hospital. This was perhaps a year ago. She came back Ok after that and has been Ok until recently. She seemed to be having it again based on recent communication (messages) with her, and I'm concerned something may happen to her being alone in her place. Can someone advise what's the best thing to do in this case? TIA.

tham_ Caring for my Partner's C-PTSD
  • replies: 3

Hey everyone! I just made an account today since I needed reassurance from a supportive community. I've been with my partner for about 4-months now, I'm the first person he's told of his C-PTSD and someone who he feels safe with. For the last month, ... View more

Hey everyone! I just made an account today since I needed reassurance from a supportive community. I've been with my partner for about 4-months now, I'm the first person he's told of his C-PTSD and someone who he feels safe with. For the last month, I've noticed he's been very withdrawn and quiet around me. My messages online haven't been read or responded to, and he seems distracted or nervous in person. However, he still seems sociable and excitable around our friends. I've tried gently approaching it in conversation but he dances around it and reassures me that he's fine. This was my first experience with such a sudden shift in our dynamic, so it was a little jarring, but I still was up to help. Since I started reading about it, I've learnt not to take it too personally with our relationship but it's still difficult for me to know if I'm helping. Little gestures of assurance that I'm ready to listen or just checking in on his day *feel* helpful, but how can I know? What will I see that shows he's ready to reconnect or that my efforts are supporting him? How long should I expect this to go on from now? My situation might be a little specific, but I mainly want to know what other people find helps them or others with their management. Thank You!

ReachOut Is my boyfriend severely depressed or does he want to leave me?
  • replies: 9

Hi everyone, I'm very concerned about my boyfriend who is currently giving me the silent treatment. It's been over a week and the thoughts going through my head are driving me crazy. He has a history of depression, though I don't know much about it a... View more

Hi everyone, I'm very concerned about my boyfriend who is currently giving me the silent treatment. It's been over a week and the thoughts going through my head are driving me crazy. He has a history of depression, though I don't know much about it as we've only been together for 9 months and he doesn't talk about it with me. I brought up an issue recently, and he wasn't willing to talk about it- he just shut off completely. I got very upset and frustrated and tried to push the conversation a bit further but it was ignored and we both went to sleep. He then got up in the middle of the night and left. (We don't live together- I assume he went to his house). I haven't heard from him or seen home since, though I've tried calling multiple times and sent 3 text messages. I've tried apologising for how I handled the situation. I've tried explaining that by bringing up any issues in our relationship isn't a personal attack on him. I've tried telling him how much I care, etc etc. Same result- nothing. Before this recent event, there's been 3 other times when a similar thing has happened. Seemingly when there is any problem and a lack of communication, he just ignores me for days. In the past it has only been 3-4 days maximum, and then he's contacted me. This time it's much longer. I'm trying to work out what to do, if I even can do anything. Communication is so important to me and I don't know how to solve this when we can't talk. I've almost settled on the sad fact that he just wants me to leave him alone/ break up, yet I'm almost positive that he's acting this way because of his depression. Other than these times, he's very caring and seemingly happy in the relationship, and we have a lot of fun together. I love him and want to be there for him if he is battling with depression. Any advice or thoughts would be much appreciated.

Peppapig1 Schizophrenia.
  • replies: 2

I believe in invisible people. I tried to make sense of it so I googled invisible people do they exist and the military has made an invisible wall. I come to the conclusion that there's an invisible suit as well. Some days I tell myself no ones here ... View more

I believe in invisible people. I tried to make sense of it so I googled invisible people do they exist and the military has made an invisible wall. I come to the conclusion that there's an invisible suit as well. Some days I tell myself no ones here your truly alone but I just don't feel truly alone. I'm also having a hard time believing I'm a schizophrenic. Is there anyone on the forum here who has schizophrenia and can relate? I also wouldn't mind anyone's advice or support.

Cguilt Guilt of silence
  • replies: 4

My struggle to find a place for all the emotions I am feeling of watching my adult son unravelling. I have this beautiful photo of him as a baby crawling towards me with a huge happy smile looking directly at me. I can not get this image out of my th... View more

My struggle to find a place for all the emotions I am feeling of watching my adult son unravelling. I have this beautiful photo of him as a baby crawling towards me with a huge happy smile looking directly at me. I can not get this image out of my thoughts. His adult life has consisted of lies, anger, demanding financial support and taking no responsibility for his own actions but blaming all those close to him. Most of all me, his mother. He has recently been arrested and now has a pending court appearance which may result in prison time to which he is guilty. My son has not shared this information with me nor spoken to me for 2months prior.My fear for his future, his reaction to me reaching out knowing but my own disappointment, anger, hurt and pain of wanting that image of my happy boy as a baby back and I how do I respond to him. What went wrong? I want to tell him I love him but the anxiety I feel when I think about who he has become stops me from wanting a relationship. I'm struggling with the guilt of this feeling of needing to distance myself from him. I don't want to worsen his image of himself but him not sure I can manage a relationship. Sense of guilt but obligation is overwhelming.

Sheree Class refusal year 7
  • replies: 4

Our son started yr 7 at a much larger school than primary school. In the first day he had a panic attack once he was at school. school started on a Friday which allowed his anxiety to build up and on the Monday he was under the desk in his room in a ... View more

Our son started yr 7 at a much larger school than primary school. In the first day he had a panic attack once he was at school. school started on a Friday which allowed his anxiety to build up and on the Monday he was under the desk in his room in a ball crying and rocking about not wanting to go to school. we can get him to school but not class. He can’t explain to us why he can’t. most nights his anxiety hits about going the next day with Sunday being the worst. Telling us he can’t do like anymore etc. he had no issues attending primary school and is social. we are doing the tough love and making him go. He sits in the library or wellbeing office. The school is good and trying but they only have so many resources. he was attending a large catholic high school but worked out quick they were not a great help so moved him to a much smaller public high school which he tells us he likes. we don’t know if keeping pushing, keep attending psychologist appointments and hope he can fight whatever is going on in his head or enrol into online school and take away that class pressure. if anyone has had a similar experience I would love to hear.

Moggie Supporting my daughter
  • replies: 2

My daughter is a single mum of 2 with depression and ptsd and juat need advice on how to help her i already help with the kids but doesn’t seem to be enough for her she’s really down

My daughter is a single mum of 2 with depression and ptsd and juat need advice on how to help her i already help with the kids but doesn’t seem to be enough for her she’s really down

Boots My wife has schizophrenia. Is accusing me of cheating.
  • replies: 3

Our relationship is in been a mess and I have always had her best interests at heart doing what I can to support and show her that she is loved but her psychosis is making it hard and she’s not even trying to get help from doctors I will be there for... View more

Our relationship is in been a mess and I have always had her best interests at heart doing what I can to support and show her that she is loved but her psychosis is making it hard and she’s not even trying to get help from doctors I will be there for her always because everyone else has left her so please help

50-50-52 Feeling Burnt out. Have been supporting my partner of 4 years with depression
  • replies: 5

My partner is a beautiful man and hence why I have stayed in this relationship for so long. He has had multiple depressive episodes in our relationship. The latest one starting since August of last year. He is doing all he can to help himself but not... View more

My partner is a beautiful man and hence why I have stayed in this relationship for so long. He has had multiple depressive episodes in our relationship. The latest one starting since August of last year. He is doing all he can to help himself but nothing has worked since August. He has no friends. I feel the role of being equal in this relationship has changed. I feel like I am constantly trying to help him and give him ideas on how to help himself. I feel like a Mother. He has just started a mood stabilizer as well as being on anti depressants since i Have known him. Unfortunately I am starting to feel depressed myself as it has gone on so long. And I myself suffer from mild anxiety. I don't want to end the relationship. But I am starting to feel burnt out.