Be Yourself but who am I?

[quirkywords]

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be happier, be kinder , ask less questions and the list goes on.

I find this confusing if I am to be myself why must I change?

The other problem is who am I, which self should I be: the introvert, the extrovert, the cautious, the risk-taker, the overthinker, the fast talker, the quiet one, the indecisive one, the spontaneous one, the carefree one, the worried one, the selfish one, the altruistic one, and much more.

Thse two words be yourself seem so easy for many people but not for me as it fills me with many questions.

I will limit myself to two questions .

Can you be yourself without changing?

Is it possible to change/improve a part of yourself and still be yourself?

Quirky

[Quercus]

Hi Quirky 😊

Ok I'll have a go at this question...

I'm defining "what we do" as our actions.

Yes my actions define me as a person...

• My actions are governed by my morals and ethics.

• I choose work based on what is important to me (eg I work to make an income to support my family because they are what makes my life meaningful).
• I make choices about what I will and won't do based on my feelings of right and wrong.
• I recognise actions that are missing from my life that I need to feel my life is meaningful to me (such as community involvement and service).

So yep I think what we do defines us as long as they are things we are making a conscious choice to do.

[white knight]

Hi Quirky

In my opinion, medications dont change personality it can only supress us if meds are very high.

Personality cannot be erased. We cannot end up robotic. So essentially we remain who we are, ourselves, medicated enough to remain functional in society and enough to function within ourselves eg to help block out the past horrors etc.

Tony WK

[quirkywords]

Quercus

Thanks for your reply. I like the way you think your replies out in detail.I like how you talk about choices and beliefs and what is missing from your life.

You have given me a lot to think about.

I always look forward to your input

Thanks

Quirky

[Guest_128]

Hey there Quirky,

you make me think ,and you keep spinning me round and round.

Who we are determines what we do.

I would like it like that ,then I would be in charge of myself.

hope your going ok,I have not been on for a couple of days,just trying to catch up.

Later

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Quirky,

Fantastic thread 🙂 I am happy for you and unsurprised that it has taken off. Sorry, I wish that I could contribute more to this thread but my brain has taken leave at the moment. ..hopefully it returns soon. I'm happily reading in the mean time.

Kind thoughts,

Pepper

[quirkywords]

Later

Thanks your replies are so welcome.

I hope your time away from the forum asbeen relaxing and you enjoyed time with your family.

I would also like to be in charge of myself butI really don't where to start as I seem so busy

trying to please others.

Take care

Quirky

[Guest_128]

You got it Quirky, such a beautiful soul you are.

Please be careful you don't burn out.

Later

[quirkywords]

Pepper,

Thanks so much for taking time to post on my thread when I know there is a lot going on for you.

My brain's ability to make coherent sentences often leaves me so I can relate to that.

I find it frustrating. I am enjoying your creative thoughts in your thread.

Quirky

[Croix]

Dear Quirkywords and All~

I had a go at this earlier and looking back I found I was taking myself too seriously, all the things I listed were very proper and solemn. They were not a patch on Quercus' lists anyway - I can just imagine her saying "You call that a list? Now here's a list" 🙂

Then I saw one thing that was missing from mine - FUN.

When I tease with my wife (Mrs Walrus to you Later 🙂 it makes no sense but we laugh our silly heads off. Lots of things like that in life, in fact at times I have to make myself behave here 😞

So in addition to those grave and serious things I listed before I am a person that enjoys being silly, having fun. I hope others enjoy fun and silliness too

Croix

[quirkywords]

Croix

thanks for your post it made me smile and nod!!

I agree about having fun and being silly are part of who I am. Sometimes people don't get my humour.

When I first started taking medication I wondered where the fun girl ( this was along time ago, have not been a girl for decades) had gone . When I was high I felt great but it was not fun as later I realised the damage I occurred and how I could hurt others.

I was scared to have fun at first as I thought it would lead to mania.

I think being silly is so important. My children say to me when will I grow up, and I hope I always keep my curious silly child in me.

I am glad you and Mrs Walrus can be silly together.

Quirky