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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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ElleG Help with appetite loss
  • replies: 5

Does anyone have any advice to help keep weight up and stay healthy when appetite is totally gone? I have suffered an extreme shock and traumatic event last week, and have struggled with eating since then. The first 24 hours after I couldn’t eat a th... View more

Does anyone have any advice to help keep weight up and stay healthy when appetite is totally gone? I have suffered an extreme shock and traumatic event last week, and have struggled with eating since then. The first 24 hours after I couldn’t eat a thing, and since then it’s been maybe a few pieces of toast and some fruit each day. I am cooking meals for my child and she is well fed, but I am really struggling with eating. I am a very small person so am already noticing a weight loss that I cannot afford. Will this just improve in time?

idavidi Need Some tips to grow my hairs faster for engagement next week
  • replies: 1

Hey there guys I have an engagement party to attend next week and was thinking about keeping long hairs.. So are there some ways which can help me grow hair faster than normal rate.

Hey there guys I have an engagement party to attend next week and was thinking about keeping long hairs.. So are there some ways which can help me grow hair faster than normal rate.

mrkd1991 BPD - Struggles with cigarettes
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I haven't yet introduced myself, rather I jumped straight here. My name is Mark and I am 27 years old. This is more directed at people who suffer from BPD, but everyone is more than welcome to give their thoughts and experiences also. I've sm... View more

Hi all, I haven't yet introduced myself, rather I jumped straight here. My name is Mark and I am 27 years old. This is more directed at people who suffer from BPD, but everyone is more than welcome to give their thoughts and experiences also. I've smoked cigarettes for about 10 years, and tried quitting more times than I can count, and many times I can't even remember right now. But every time I try, I either get scared of the 'change', feel like I'll be 'lost and alone' without them, or find that after however many minutes, hours or days until my mind switches to the next, I completely forget that I am quitting smoking. The thought just gets left behind. It could be literally months before I'm like "oh sh!t, I was quitting!". How did/do you guys cope with these issues, or is this just me? Any help is much appreciated.

nitzkachick Keeping it together
  • replies: 1

For the past 6 years I have been taking a medicaton that has helped with my depession / moods / anxiety, Its been 10 days since I last took my anti depressants. By my choice. The fact is only 1 person knows I have been using meth on a regular basis f... View more

For the past 6 years I have been taking a medicaton that has helped with my depession / moods / anxiety, Its been 10 days since I last took my anti depressants. By my choice. The fact is only 1 person knows I have been using meth on a regular basis for the past 3 -4 years, Ive been addicted before in my early to late 20's . No one knew either until my behavious were really out of control and an intervention was made, and I went to therapy/ rehab. .. Im 37, single with no children. And live on my own . I hold down a great job, own my home , and under all this " got my shit together because I work hard" I hold the biggest secret. As there will be a day when I dont want to use anymore, but I am sooo addicted, Apart from my brother who knows,......My family are extremely anti drugs and would be in total shock if they knew,and they would never trust me / respect me ever again. My friends wouldn't judge me but I am too embarrassed, and dont think they need to know anyway. I need to get this off my chest, my doctor(s) don't even know because I am ashamed of how its taken a hold and how easy I can act/ look "normal" I don't think Im looking for advise, but just a forum to get this off my chest and out of my head once and for all .

Beetle I rescued a cat :)
  • replies: 2

Hi I took advice from my friends and got a cat. She's from the rescue pond and currently hiding under the TV.first day.I am having a very hard time currently and hope little ginger will help me to survive. I want to survive.I can't wait til she comes... View more

Hi I took advice from my friends and got a cat. She's from the rescue pond and currently hiding under the TV.first day.I am having a very hard time currently and hope little ginger will help me to survive. I want to survive.I can't wait til she comes out and gets used to my home Beetle

Euclid Saying "no" to the unhelpful thoughts
  • replies: 18

Hi all, I am interested to see what people have to say on this forum about dealing with unhelpful thoughts. I am sure that I am not alone in having a mind which feeds me unhelpful thoughts. For me personally, failing to properly manage these thoughts... View more

Hi all, I am interested to see what people have to say on this forum about dealing with unhelpful thoughts. I am sure that I am not alone in having a mind which feeds me unhelpful thoughts. For me personally, failing to properly manage these thoughts can lead to a depressive episode, and has done in the past. For example - I have recently come to realise that my relationship seems to be exiting the 'honeymoon' period. My mind feeds me counterproductive thoughts, like "you're falling out of love with her" and "you'll separate sooner or later". In days gone by, I would have let these thoughts get the better of me and my mood. These days, I know how to say "thanks for the thought, Mind, but the reality is that our relationship has just entered a new, more mature phase, and that's a good thing". What other tips and tricks do people have like this? Keeping in mind, of course, that not all methods will work for everyone - but I think it will be helpful to share.

Mahalko Injured at work and have been in constant pain for months. Really messing with my head
  • replies: 2

Hello Everyone, I injured my arm at work several months ago and have been off work for almost 3 months now. I am in constant pain no matter what pain relief I sought. I feel like I am getting nowhere and the pain is starting to really get to me. I wa... View more

Hello Everyone, I injured my arm at work several months ago and have been off work for almost 3 months now. I am in constant pain no matter what pain relief I sought. I feel like I am getting nowhere and the pain is starting to really get to me. I want to get back to work but the pain keeps me from sleeping properly. If I can fall asleep I wake up shortly afterwards with aching pain or numbness and my fingers tingling because no matter what I do I always seem to roll onto my arm during sleep. Then I can't get back to sleep and have to take pain relief just to make the pain subside enough for me to fall back asleep or end up laying or sitting there for sometimes a couple of hours until I get back to sleep only to wake up again with pain or my arm aching again and repeat the whole process again until sleep finally takes over from exhaustion or I have had enough pain killers to put an elephant to sleep. This happens just about every night and if I am due to go back into work for my return to work program I am just so tired and exhausted and the pain has returned I can't even bring myself to get ready and end up taking more pain relief which takes a while to kick in. I am sick of taking pills and the medication is wrecking my stomach and making me feel worse. It is making my life a misery. I can't do things around the house that I should be doing. I can't pick my 3 year old daughter up to cuddle her because it hurts my arm and because she is getting bigger and putting on some beef I can't hold her in my other arm for long till it starts to hurt from her weight. If she wakes during the night I can't pick her up to rock her back to sleep which I love to do and to give the other half a break because she works also and it is hard on her as well. It is so hard trying to tell the little one I can't pick her up as she stands at my feet arms stretched up asking for cuddles, she doesn't understand and gets frustrated and upset and the wife has to take her and then she has broken sleep which frustrates her as well. I am hoping this week to see a specialist and have an MRI scan to see what other damage I have done to cause the pain. I just need to vent and release and I am positive the people I vent to are sick of hearing me do so..This has taken me so long to submit because even typing or writing causes pain and I have to stop for short periods to rest.. I JUST WANT MY ARM BACK...

Andrew71 First Post - Can't escape my past
  • replies: 3

I have a history of anxiety and depression that goes back to the age of about 13, and has led to some behavioural issues over the years. School and university were a struggle. Nonetheless, I a managed to make it through and achieve reasonable results... View more

I have a history of anxiety and depression that goes back to the age of about 13, and has led to some behavioural issues over the years. School and university were a struggle. Nonetheless, I a managed to make it through and achieve reasonable results, and that has led to some rewarding employment experiences, to this day. I am single and live alone and I am struggling with the ongoing affects of something bad I did in the 90's and early 2000's. At the time, I was arrested and charged and given a suspended sentence. I had never been in trouble with the law before this time, and have not been since. But I live with the guilt of what I did every single day, and I am still subject to legal constraints, a life-long reminder that will never go away. I live as a recluse and make no effort to bond with other people. I am only in contact with some family members and some very close old friends of which I have only handful. I work alone, remotely from employers premises and only connect with them in person every few months. But I am well respected by my colleagues and highly valued by my employer. But my life seems to consist only of working and sleeping. And I drink too much of an evening. The alcohol works as a good anaesthetic. I do not become loud and aggressive. I am very quiet and unimposing. I just feel that my life is just a matter seeing out my days for the period of life I have left. I live life like a prison sentence, and feel unable to pursue things I would like to do. So just feel stuck in a rut at present. My past is not something I can easily open up about. It is a source of great sorrow and regret that I cannot escape.

SammyD100 Problems.... What can we do? How can we deal with them?
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone! I thought I might start a new thread about problems. We all have them from time to time! Sometimes they seem incredibly big and complex. Sometimes they don't seem quite so difficult, but still need work to solve. Problems come in all siz... View more

Hi everyone! I thought I might start a new thread about problems. We all have them from time to time! Sometimes they seem incredibly big and complex. Sometimes they don't seem quite so difficult, but still need work to solve. Problems come in all sizes and shapes so what do we do? How do we deal with them? When we have issues we’re struggling with there are generally two types of approaches. One is a Problem-Solving Approach and one is an Emotion-Focussed Approach. A Problem-Solving Approach is useful when we have a lot of control over a situation and there are practical things we can do. If we're struggling with something like work-life balance for example, we might be able to look at making changes to get some balance back. Perhaps we could talk to our boss about cutting back a shift, changing full-time to part-time, taking some annual leave days off, etc. Perhaps the struggle relates to taking on too much for others, like always agreeing to meet up with a 'demanding' friend who never 'gives' anything to the relationship but constantly 'takes' our energy and time. Perhaps we just need to take a step back and learn to say 'no' every so often. All of these are practical ways to address that initial problem around work-life balance - and there would be many other examples! But sometimes the problem isn't something we have much control over - the only thing we can control is how we think about the situation. It’s generally the case that the way we think about a situation affects the way we feel, which then affects the way we behave. This leads me to the Emotion-Focussed Approach. So for example I might be thinking that I didn’t do a good job on my last uni assignment, and for the next one I feel hopeless and like I won’t do well. As a result I might keep putting it off, and then not do a great job on it, which will then reinforce my original feeling that I’m not going to do well. Instead I might challenge that initial thought. I might recognise that I didn’t do as well as I’d hoped on the last assignment because at the time my personal life was really difficult. With that new perspective, I’m feeling a bit better about this one because I know the mark I got wasn’t a valid reflection of my ability. As such, I am able to get onto this next assignment with a better mindset and the knowledge that I can do this. I hope this all makes sense! What have you tried when faced with life problems? What works for you? Would love to hear lots of other ideas! SammyD

ScarlettR Do you play video games as a sort of therapy?
  • replies: 2

I had redeveloped my childhood hobby of playing games again. I often play games on my iPad or on my PS3 console. This may sound obvious, but I believe playing video games has a long-term calming and positive effect on people suffering from mental ill... View more

I had redeveloped my childhood hobby of playing games again. I often play games on my iPad or on my PS3 console. This may sound obvious, but I believe playing video games has a long-term calming and positive effect on people suffering from mental illness. For instance, I play Batman Arkham City, and has made my goal to complete the game. While I play the game, I'm not only focusing on the character and getting him complete levels, but also observing the setting and soundtrack and special effects. I don't spent too long playing the video game - maybe 30-45 minutes then I save and switch off and relax. It helps me look at the past year in a rose-tinted way that is actually healthy and positive. In fact, I look at my past few years in a rose-tinted way so that way I can just remember the few main events, and not think about the times I was so depressed and anxious, I wouldn't leave the bed. In fact, I've made a decision that memories of my depressive days are of no use or relevance to me, and I will only focus on the few events that was good. Playing video games and the associated experience is one of them.