Staying well

There is Power in Forgiveness

replies: 13

Hello everyone, I just wanted to share this with you all. This information was given to me at a support group that I attend. Here it is: There is Power in Forgiveness Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you. Take your p... View more

Hello everyone, I just wanted to share this with you all. This information was given to me at a support group that I attend. Here it is: There is Power in Forgiveness Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you. Take your power back from those who have hurt you. Hate, anger and resentment are destructive, eating away at the heart and soul of the person who carries them. They are absolutely incompatible with your own peace, joy and relaxation. Ugly emotions change who you are and contaminate every relationship you have. They can also take a physical toll on your body, including sleep disturbance, headaches, back spasms and even heart attacks. To be continued.......

Help when it wasn't expected

replies: 4

I dreamt of a house on stilts and under that house was a large collection of shells, mainly mussel shells. The owner of the house was an old man, who seemed to welcome passers-by to view his collection of shells. Several other people – all strangers ... View more

I dreamt of a house on stilts and under that house was a large collection of shells, mainly mussel shells. The owner of the house was an old man, who seemed to welcome passers-by to view his collection of shells. Several other people – all strangers to me – were also looking at the shells and I noticed they seemed interested but removed from the experience. I wondered why the old man kept all these shells – they weren’t rare or valuable. There were several intricate handmade timber boxes among the collection. I opened one of the boxes and inside it was a mussel shell (almost fully closed) and much the same as many others in the collection. I sensed something unusual and I looked deep inside the shell and saw a house inside the shell. The house was too large to be in the shell and yet it was contorted and cramped into the shell. Gravity, time and space were irrelevant in the shell. The contorted house made no sense being inside the shell, but there it was. I listened carefully and I heard silent screams from within the house in the shell. I looked deeper and through the gaps of a closed louver window shudder in the house I could see an eye of a young man. He was trapped in the house in the shell. The young man was too large for the house, which although itself was much larger than the shell, was tiny compared to the young man trapped inside. I could only see the young man’s eye but I could hear the screams inside his head - they were the screams of someone lost to this world. He was imprisoned in the house in the shell, unable to even move. I looked for the old man who owned the shell collection but I couldn’t see him. Did the old man know that within the shell in the box was a young man trapped in a house? I wanted to smash the mussel shell to save the young man or to stop him suffering any more but that seemed pointless in a place where gravity, time and space did not exist. Then I was drawn to open another of the timber boxes and when I did I found another shell inside that second timber box. There was something inside the shell in the second timber box – something deeply personal to me – that pleaded, almost begged, for me to look inside the shell and to analyse all that was within. “No,” I told myself “do not look in the shell!”. Then I woke. I felt relieved because I now understand that that I can only be trapped (again) if I look into the "shell". Do not look into the shell. Never look into the shell.

Low self esteem

replies: 3

Its one if those descriptions often repeated on this forum. Low self esteem could have come about for any reason. Commonly, I'd suggest, developed from childhood with lack of praise and encouragement or worse, regular put downs by others. Whatever th... View more

Its one if those descriptions often repeated on this forum. Low self esteem could have come about for any reason. Commonly, I'd suggest, developed from childhood with lack of praise and encouragement or worse, regular put downs by others. Whatever the reason what can you do to raise your confidence? Let's be realistic, we can't change the past. So logical yet we can easily fall into the "wallowing" of hoping we can and living in the past. Churning over past times is unproductive. Let's stick to the present to shape our future. We can try to rely on others to mend our self esteem. But how far can the encouragement from a partner take us towards a higher self esteem? Will the endurance needed by our partner from trying to lift our spirits take its toll on them over time.? If your parents are to largely be blamed for your low self esteem now that you are an adult do you think they will take responsibility for it now? Are they too old to cast blame on? Was their ways common in that period ("stop crying, be a real man")...are you going to go about solving this problem by pointing fingers? When is it time you tackled it yourself with perhaps professional guidance? What can we do about it? On this forum we often convey how we overcame problems. Its a real life experience answer rather than theory alone. Married for 11 years by the time it ended I felt worthless, a failure and grieved for the loss of my full time fatherhood. It came natural for me one evening to stare into the mirror and aloud say "you are a good person, you are kind and a good father, you'll be OK because I believe in myself". This was repeated daily. Other thoughts I created was to accept that I wasn't far removed from other people in terms of ability. For example. I'm the handyman type. If some people can build their own home why can't I? I then did. What are your natural or trained abilities? Capitalise on them. I knew a lady in her 50's that felt she was useless at everything. I pointed out she has great ability to make quilts. She won a prize soon after at a country show. She might not be oozing with confidence with other things but few could make a quilt like her. Reason to feel uniquely successful. Find your niche. Praise yourself for your abilities. Take your low self esteem as a personal challenge and realise other people appearing confident often are not so internally. Its all a mask. Write parts of your childhood on a rock with chalk and...throw it in a river.... Tony WK

Does Pokemon Go make us healthier?

replies: 32

Hey everyone! Just read a really interesting article on Vice about how many people who are experiencing mental illnesses are really enjoying Pokemon Go. I'm wondering if anyone has any similar stories. Have you found you are outside more because of t... View more

Hey everyone! Just read a really interesting article on Vice about how many people who are experiencing mental illnesses are really enjoying Pokemon Go. I'm wondering if anyone has any similar stories. Have you found you are outside more because of the game? and has it positively impacted your mental health? Thanks so much guys! -Ben

A new me

replies: 2

I have finally recovered after deactivating my Facebook page as so many comments have been insulting and made me feel hurt. I am now into the more fun part of life when I start laughing a lot. I am now back with my mother and we a going for walks. I ... View more

I have finally recovered after deactivating my Facebook page as so many comments have been insulting and made me feel hurt. I am now into the more fun part of life when I start laughing a lot. I am now back with my mother and we a going for walks. I now love watching a cartoon on youtube called 'Noah's Island' and one of the characters I like is Sacha a friendly simple-minded Russian desman (a desman is a very shy obscure species with an unusual snout). Also I love my scrap booking of my favorite things in life this includes this animal and Maria Sharapova. I've also bought a shirt that she was wearing from Zara and put her on a t-shirt, now that I no longer have Facebook. Also I've found a useful mobile app called meetup which enables me to join the groups and meet new people face-to-face. Congratulations I'm making a new start.

A little positive story

replies: 3

Hello everyone, I wanted to share a little positive story, as well as say to say thanks. I hope you read this and find something useful in it. I've had a terrible week and yesterday was a terrible day. Between kicking myself out of my house, sleeping... View more

Hello everyone, I wanted to share a little positive story, as well as say to say thanks. I hope you read this and find something useful in it. I've had a terrible week and yesterday was a terrible day. Between kicking myself out of my house, sleeping at McDonalds, sleeping under the desk at work, and failing to do anything productive at work, I'd just had enough by yesterday morning. It was probably a good thing too that I was so exhausted yesterday, because those thoughts had become very intrusive. Posting on these forums and telling my friends my plans saved me. Specifically, I'd previously posted more than once that I would be going to uni this week. So even though I could've lied and pretended that I went to uni, there was a nagging little thought in my brain that, maybe, I should get up and go. Then my friend sent me a message - "I'll see you at uni today." That kicked my nagging thought into action. I went to uni. It was horrible. But it was a step forwards, rather than backwards. But I still had hours left in the day and, after eating dinner on my own, I got trapped in my head again. Again, posting on the forums that morning saved me. There's a thread about exercise started up by another forum member who I'm very thankful to have "met" on these forums. On it, I'd posted that I'd go for a run later last night. So, as with uni, I got that nagging thought in my head that I really should go run. As I walked home, I started playing my favourite running music: the Lord of the Rings soundtrack, specifically when they're running across the mountains. That gave me just enough energy to go for a short run, even though it was 10PM by now. So I did, and I could go to sleep feeling a little better about myself. Sothat little bit of positivity, from what was a really really bad place in the morning, gave me enough desire to get up today, go to work, and know that I'm still here and surrounded by colleagues who respect me as a human being regardless of my issues. Tomorrow I go to Uluru, and I'm really excited to finish off my bad week with something nice for myself. So I guess what I really wanted to say is thank you to everyone on the forums here. You've given me a place where I can feel comfortable. You've also, maybe without knowing, held me to the plans I make in advance just by listening and responding, so that when I do have bad days, I get that nagging thought that I should carry out the plans I made on my good days. Thanks again. James

Share an inspirational quote

replies: 118

Hi All, Just wanted to share a quote with you that someone shared with me a little while ago. It's certainly helped me see brighter days at times. You are a person You are not only your pain You are not only scars and wounds; You are also better thin... View more

Hi All, Just wanted to share a quote with you that someone shared with me a little while ago. It's certainly helped me see brighter days at times. You are a person You are not only your pain You are not only scars and wounds; You are also better things. You are possibility and promise, Hope and healing and daydreams. You are favourite books and favourite songs. You are the people you love, and the people who love you. You are HOPE and CHANGE and things worth fighting for. This is your story And your story isn't over. (Jamie Tworkowski)

Single and Strong?

replies: 4

Hi all, I'm a new poster here. 31 year old male with a long history of depression and body dismorphic disorder. For as far back as I can remember I've been pretty depressed and always had things about my physical appearance that I've hated and obsess... View more

Hi all, I'm a new poster here. 31 year old male with a long history of depression and body dismorphic disorder. For as far back as I can remember I've been pretty depressed and always had things about my physical appearance that I've hated and obsessed about. I'm not the ugliest guy on the street but I'm no Brad Pitt either. Naturally I find that anxiety over my physical appearance increases greatly when I'm single and looking for a partner. I was really on top of stuff for a while last year but after a looong string of unsuccessful dating I became emotionally worn out and let my guard down. Depression and compulsive behaviours have flooded back into my life recently and I feel like I have no choice but to take a break from the constant anxiety I get when dating. I wish could make it a permanent break and be single for the remainder of my life but I don't know where to find the strength for that... I have post grad studies to focus on at the moment and am also actively painting everyday and I've recently had a couple of commissions so it's something concrete to focus on. I also run around 8kms three or four times a week and get to the gym whenever I can as well. I have all these things that I love to do but I'm finding it hard to commit to just being single and becoming mentally strong for a while even though dating is causing me so much anxiety and pain.... Do other people here live happily and successfully as singles? I guess I'm just interested in how other people find the strength to carry on everyday as singles in a world full of couples and don't get bogged down by loneliness / jealousy? I'm not an overly social person as I prefer quiet activities and fitness and I don't really have any family left either so that kind of support is not really an option. Just interested to hear about other people's experiences...

Is 25 too old to start a course?

replies: 10

My anxiety at the moment is pretty much non existent but I do get depressed because I do much much nothing. I wanna start a course but I'm 25 years old. I got refereed to this Certificate III civil construction course which is in the city I wanna do. View more

My anxiety at the moment is pretty much non existent but I do get depressed because I do much much nothing. I wanna start a course but I'm 25 years old. I got refereed to this Certificate III civil construction course which is in the city I wanna do.

"You are not being reasonable"!

replies: 15

Ever been told that? Being told that means it came from someone else right? Of course. And you scratch your head, that thing that holds all of your low self esteem, guilt and that non productive thing called worry. So what is reason? Or being reasona... View more

Ever been told that? Being told that means it came from someone else right? Of course. And you scratch your head, that thing that holds all of your low self esteem, guilt and that non productive thing called worry. So what is reason? Or being reasonable? Let's look at law to bring this into perspective. As a jury member in a trial, you'll each be asked to find the defendant guilty or not guilty. To come to a result you have to base your decision of guilt based upon "beyond reasonable doubt". That's it!. It is based on YOUR decision and the other 11 jurors collective findings of some point beyond reasonable doubt. So if you follow me on this, being reasonable is a point defined by the individual. Everyone has a different dividing line of what reasonable is. This point of reason can be a common area of conflict. Ever had an argument with a friend about your location as he/she holds the map upside down?. The conflict doesn't commence because the map isn't facing right way up, its because your friend is certain they are correct and because of that they refuse to (in your words to him/her) " BE REASONBLE"!!!! I AM RIGHT"!!! In their eyes they are being reasonable...after all they have listened to you tell them the map is the wrong way up and discounted it. You on the other hand find them to be totally unreasonable for not taking your claims seriously. So you argue. Then suddenly you look at the map...it wasn't upside down at all. In such a case it was you that wasn't reasonable by not confirming the map position. Can you see that in this instance, being reasonable is a personal view of a situation that likely if in conflict, is based on your own individual judgement. That example was to explain the complexities of human disagreements and why the claim of "you're not being reasonable" is used so often. Simply because you are not seeing a situation how someone else sees it. So in times of conflict by trying to be reasonable means not just giving in and agreeing with the other party, but attempting to see why they think that way. Then if you still believe you are correct stick to your beliefs. Don't allow others to rule your right to your own decision making. I.e don't be too submissive. However if you are proved wrong then apologise. That will mean you are fair and being fair is giving reason every chance of being present when it matters. Tony WK

Pinned discussions

Tradies National Health Month

replies: 0

A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members

replies: 715

All discussions