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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Trish_M Tips for staying well.
  • replies: 2

I found these on-line forums nearly 10 months ago and what a find! One thing which of late I've been able to do and it's helped me enormously is having and saying a positive affirmation to myself. Every morning, I wake up and tell myself that I am as... View more

I found these on-line forums nearly 10 months ago and what a find! One thing which of late I've been able to do and it's helped me enormously is having and saying a positive affirmation to myself. Every morning, I wake up and tell myself that I am as talented and as flawed as everyone else, I tell myself this same thing when I am cleaning my teeth, looking myself straight in the eye via the bathroom mirror. Sometimes during the day if negative self talk creeps into my mind, I go back to BUT I am as talented and as flawed as everybody else, and I say it as often as I need to , to be able to say it with conviction. Some days aren't as good as others, some periods of a particular day aren't as good as other parts but positive self talk is so much better than the alternative. Years ago, someone told me to "fake it until you make it" most of us do this anyway, covering up our true fears and anxiety, putting on a smile when it really is not how we're feeling. I don't know when I started doing the affirmations and I don't know why they work for me.....they just do. When my anxiety starts to rear it's ugly head, I stop, I breathe and I start with my affirmation. Sometimes, I only need to say it once, sometimes it's a mind numbing mantra which needs to be repeated 3, 5 or more times, when I've calmed down, there's another deep, cleansing breathe and a final...See, I told you, you are as talented and as flawed as everyone else! You are ok, just the way you are. All the best, Trish M.

Sawyer How are you coping?
  • replies: 69

Hi everybody, Just a quick post to see how everyone is doing? Lifes been pretty hectic for me lately with uni and work, and i've regretted not being online on these forums more. I'm looking forward to being available more once my thesis is submitted,... View more

Hi everybody, Just a quick post to see how everyone is doing? Lifes been pretty hectic for me lately with uni and work, and i've regretted not being online on these forums more. I'm looking forward to being available more once my thesis is submitted, but in the mean time i'm going to do my best to set aside some more time to come onto the forums and be available to anyone who would like to talk through whats going on with you, coping strategies, or advice. I'm not yet a professional clinician, but I have a degree in psychology, am working towards a clinical masters and I'm willing to help in any way I can. So on that note, how are we all going? lets talk about what's going on for you. Cheers, Sawyer

PositiveLyfe89 Tips on Staying Well
  • replies: 6

Hello everyone Just wanted to know what are some little things that you do to stay well and healthy? Some of the things I do is: eat healthily, exercise and work out, especially in nature, write in a journal and the university newspaper (It's cathart... View more

Hello everyone Just wanted to know what are some little things that you do to stay well and healthy? Some of the things I do is: eat healthily, exercise and work out, especially in nature, write in a journal and the university newspaper (It's cathartic to me), gratitude jar (where I write things I'm grateful for) and 'Most Important Things' (MIT's)-where I write 3 things I want to accomplish daily to help me feel like I've achieved something that day. I sometimes listen to a meditation video on youtube, it really helps to clear my thoughts. So what are some thing you guys do to stay well and take care of yourself?? PositiveLyfe89

RosalieR Balance- is there a middle ground?
  • replies: 3

Hi. I'm 34 and have a long history of depression and anxiety. I guess what brought me here is to find out from other peoples experience if this is "normal" or not. Whatever "normal" is. Last week I was really focused on my work projects and put in a ... View more

Hi. I'm 34 and have a long history of depression and anxiety. I guess what brought me here is to find out from other peoples experience if this is "normal" or not. Whatever "normal" is. Last week I was really focused on my work projects and put in a lot of extra hours. I couldn't focus long enough on TV or anything totally pointless because I was too restless. But goal orientated tasks I was flying through, tick, tick, tick goal achieved. I had heaps of thoughts and ideas and really moved ahead in achieving the outcomes I wanted. This week I am tired, have hardly any thoughts in my head, and really couldn't care about anything. I'm feeling rather indifferent. This makes continuing with last weeks projects difficult as I have no interest in the goal. Obviously I still have to go to work and get some work done but it is at a much slower pace. I never feel like a get enough sleep and often have difficulty going to sleep and staying asleep. Some sort of predictability and balance would be awesome. I'm exercising every day and taking all the weekend as time to rest. Anyone have anything to say?

Brooke89 For those of you who have stopped working because of your illnesses...
  • replies: 16

How do you spend your days? Do you have a pattern of peaks/troughs each day? Do you struggle to leave the house? I have been off work close to a year now and am interested to from people in a similar situation. Thank you

How do you spend your days? Do you have a pattern of peaks/troughs each day? Do you struggle to leave the house? I have been off work close to a year now and am interested to from people in a similar situation. Thank you

jok The role of faith in anxiety and depression
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I am a new contributor to the forum. I have had life long struggles with anxiety and depression but not bad enough to be hospitalised or to remove myself from life's activities and work. I have found that faith in some 'higher source' has hel... View more

Hi all, I am a new contributor to the forum. I have had life long struggles with anxiety and depression but not bad enough to be hospitalised or to remove myself from life's activities and work. I have found that faith in some 'higher source' has helped me at least as much as medication and the heaps of self help suggestions offered by many well meaning people. I think one of the main reasons why faith works is that we 'give up the struggle' and just 'surrender' our lives and everything about them to some higher, non-secular 'source'. I am not referring to any particular religious tradition here. I believe there are many pathways towards faith and different people respond to or are inspired by different 'pathways'. Paul Green's book 'At last a life' is an excellent approach to addressing anxiety. He suggests, after suffering for over 10 years that the only way to cure anxiety is to NOT try to cure it. He believes that we get ourselves stuck in the anxiety 'loop' by constantly fighting and trying to escape the way we feel. I can see the connections between Green's approach and faith in that both advocate a 'surrender to' and complete acceptance of our condition, rather than engaging in the endless adrenaline fuelled fighting and trying to escape. Love to see what others think about this.

Chris_B LIVE CHAT EVENT FOR MENTAL HEALTH WEEK: Thursday 8 October at 1pm - A GP's tips on staying mentally healthy
  • replies: 27

Hi everyone, As part of Mental Health Week, we will be hosting another live chat here on Thursday 8 October, 1-2pm with Dr Stephen Carbone, beyondblue’s Policy, Evaluation and Research Leader. Stephen worked for many years as a General Practitioner. ... View more

Hi everyone, As part of Mental Health Week, we will be hosting another live chat here on Thursday 8 October, 1-2pm with Dr Stephen Carbone, beyondblue’s Policy, Evaluation and Research Leader. Stephen worked for many years as a General Practitioner. A few years ago, Stephen decided to hang up his stethoscope and to move into the area of mental health promotion. He is now working at beyondblue where he is working with others to find ways to promote mental wellbeing, prevent depression, anxiety and suicide and ensure people affected with these mental health conditions have the opportunity to get the supports and services that are right for them - at the right time. Our live chat will be focussed on tips for staying mentally healthy, and also how you can get the best out of your relationship with your doctor. See also the BB resource What are my options? PLEASE NOTE as per our community rules, Stephen won't be able to answer questions about medications, these are best discussed offline directly with your mental health professional. So bookmark this thread, get your questions ready, and we'll see you back here next Thursday afternoon when this thread will be unlocked and Stephen will be here to chat.

Nella7651 A sunshine of hope
  • replies: 3

I was searching on the internet for someway I could participate in a fundraising event for mental health when beyond blue popped up. I had heard of Beyond Blue but actually thought it was for men with depression. I was so surprised, and relieved that... View more

I was searching on the internet for someway I could participate in a fundraising event for mental health when beyond blue popped up. I had heard of Beyond Blue but actually thought it was for men with depression. I was so surprised, and relieved that there are these forums. I have recently had a number of crisis that nearly cost me my life, my job and it did cost separating from my fiancee. I work in the health industry (emergency services) and have been so disillusioned by the mental health support. I am usually the one on the other side. Resources, communication, access in rural areas and basically stigma surprises me more than ever. I cannot believe for one that this resource was never available to me or even suggested to me. So many days, nights I would have done anything just to talk to someone who not just empathised with me but "really" knew what pain and distress I was going through. Someone that could not just "understand" but understand. Fortunately I have huge support from my family, friends/colleagues that have been with me day and night when I thought I could not possibly go on. I have never been afraid of dying, I guess as I am surrounded by death each day and see at times the peace in a person when the are deceased. I have so much to live for and to be grateful for that each day gets that little easier. Not to say there are going to be bad days and maybe even relapse, but I have hope. Thank you.

white knight UPSET? and desperate...some ideas
  • replies: 2

You likely know the feeling. It included crying probably uncontrollably, everything is doomed, your life, your family and friends. You might see all others as having a happy life while you wallow in your tears. I've been there many times yet I've stu... View more

You likely know the feeling. It included crying probably uncontrollably, everything is doomed, your life, your family and friends. You might see all others as having a happy life while you wallow in your tears. I've been there many times yet I've stumbled on some ideas that might help you break out of that feeling. The first and most important action you can make is doing two things at once. These are- a change of environment and thoughts centred on who means the most to you. ok, you are extremely upset for whatever reason and you are alone in your car or in your bedroom. Stand up, start thinking about your children or your dearest friend and walk. If you are in a car lock it up and walk. You return to your car or your room. Pick up a biro and paper. Begin writing. It doesn't matter what you write but make it nice, and positive even better if it rhymes. Basic, rhyme, meaning etc. This will move your mind to better things. Do this for at least half an hour. Go for a short walk. Take deep breaths. This next action is called "decision time". You have by now relaxed and no longer crying. What ever your upset was caused from you need to have at least some sort of answer in the way of action. Then its loved ones time. Respect them by notifying them. Don't let them worry. Recovery time. Try to think about a happy time. Sometimes we need a process to which we can go through so as to get to "the other side". We aren't taught this in schools. When we get pregnant we read up in books or attend prenatal classes to learn about the process. When we go parachuting we go through a training session. In everything we do we learn first. But when we are distraught no one has taught us the process of recovering from being desperately upset. Above is my survival routine. I haven't used those steps for a long time now as I'm settled, medically stable and happy. But I know it can still happen in a moment. Change- means change of environment thinking of the ones you love. Write - write down anything, try to make it rhyme. Notify - let loved ones know you are ok. Plan- make decisions to avoid further upset. Recovery - think happy moments. Divert your mind from sadness. Don't allow it to go to places you want to avoid. That's in desperate moments. Then there is self help. Go to a GP. Also plan your life to achieve goals. Be positive. At the end of the day you have the means to improve your life to make it the life you crave for. Tony WK

white knight The Significance of being "reasonable"
  • replies: 16

What is “reasonable”? If you have a mental illness and are actively mingling with other people be it work or socialising, you are likely to often trip up where your behaviour/reactions is seen as extreme. For the stable out there we could easily be s... View more

What is “reasonable”? If you have a mental illness and are actively mingling with other people be it work or socialising, you are likely to often trip up where your behaviour/reactions is seen as extreme. For the stable out there we could easily be seen as unreasonable. These people largely don’t have or rarely have the emotion level we have. (I’m speaking broadly). Fragile emotions that are often in the high range has little room for negotiation in a calm relaxed approach. We seem to others as not being able to reason as emotion gets in the way and that's what they focus on. In defense however often the instigator isn’t reasonable in the first place. But does that justify being unreasonable ourselves? Probably not. What do we lack? To be able to be reasonable? I’ve thought for some time about this. I have a friend, a reasonable friend meaning she seems to be calm and calculating even under stress. When she converses with others that are heated in their frame of mind, she doesn’t “lose it”. But what she has is something I don’t have- quick wit. Having quick wit allows you to think quickly and evaluate the situation to your favour. There was a classic example of this recently. She borrowed a beach umbrella some months ago for the summer. After the hot weather ended she tried to return it and she’d purchased one herself. But her friend had gone on an overseas holiday. She tried a few weeks later, he had returned but went on another holiday. Nearly 9 months went by and I was there when he called in. He immediately accused her of keeping the umbrella for 9 months “way in excess of what I’d lend it to you” he snapped. Her reply was calm and collected. Firstly it is a beach umbrella, I don’t use beach umbrella’s in the winter. Secondly, you have been overseas on the two occasions I dropped by at your home. They both went to her shed and she produced the umbrella “take note of the cobwebs on it, it hasn’t moved for 6 months” she calmly exclaimed. Her friend apologised and left. Had I been her I would have argued and got upset. Her responses were measured and witty, thinking on her feet, not predetermined. This form of thinking doesn’t come naturally for some but it is something we can work on. Staying calm, asking for some time to think about the situation, allowing others to get upset and waiting until they are calm….all contribute towards less emotion. And that’s a good challenge if you want to be “reasonable” and less emotional. Tony WK