Accepting the past and moving on

[Guest_1695]

Hi Everyone.

Hi all. I am just over 50 and have decided now is the time to let go of the stuff of my past that has hindered me, and to try to move on through my depression, stress and other issues that have held me back.

Thankfully a new medication is helping me to do just that. I had a light bulb moment this morning where I realised the last medication I was on, helped for a while, but over time had become inadequate.

I am going to try and start to live like this is the "First Day of the Rest of my Life" like a song mentions. No time like now to make that start.

How about you? Are you ready to make that decision?

How am I going to achieve this? I'm not really sure yet...Ha. Ha. I just know I want it to happen.

One thing I have done is to become more assertive and let other's know I am going to begin sticking up for my rights. I will do this in a positive, non aggressive manner.

I'd like to hear other people's ideas.

[blondguy]

Hi Topsy

A Big Welcome to BB too!

A very well articulated first post not to mention positive. Like yourself I have found a reliable med that works really well for my Depression. In your first sentence you mentioned 'moving on through your depression' I must applaud you for having that mindset! (moving through depression..much much better than fighting it..Nice1)

Moving through is such a huge part of recovery and true acceptance whether it is Depression or anxiety...I do read the words 'fighting depression' or 'fighting anxiety' somewhat counter productive. To fight anything takes way too much mental and physical energy which can actually feed/increase the disorder itself.

Learning to 'unmask' these awful feelings/symptoms by 'true calm acceptance'  can reduce the severity and length of the depression or anxiety symptoms....It takes practice but it does work...and takes time...

"The First Day of The Rest of My life" Love the saying...excellent...and a very useful one. It can assist in 'letting go' of the slumps we have had in our past..and its never ever too late to start..

Just through experience I have been re-adjusting my thought processes to further aid my health;

* If I saw the ceiling when I woke up this morning its going to be a good day!

* I also would like to become more self-assertive..but have chosen to be who I am...Confident yet sensitive.

* Sticking up for what you believe in is often over-looked but I love that thought Topsy

* Being kind to people...Its great habit to have 🙂

* Avoiding overly critical and negative individuals...for our health to blossom 

* Walk slower....Think Slower...Talk Slower...

* Dumping Perfectionism...it reduces the rate of overthinking wasting energy

* True acceptance that you dont have to function at 100% knowing you can achieve the same result using 50% of the effort you use....(being Gentle to Yourself)

Thankyou Topsy for the new ideas and your 1st post Yay! We are here for you...it would be great to hear from you again...

Kind Thoughts

Paul

[geoff]

dear TT, I like this what you have said 'now is the time to let go of the stuff of my past that has hindered me', because
that's exactly what I had to do, I couldn't solve by myself or with help from my psychologist these many issues

that were a huge part of why I was depressed, but when I started to see any light, then I realised that all of these problems
 
I could bundle up and put in a box/package and seal away, and then put them where I couldn't find, because if I did and

then wanted to open this box and try to solve any of these problems then, bang, down I would fall back into the black hole.

They still exist for me, but I have to try and forget about them, and that's exactly what I have done, get on with my

life.
 
I don't worry about them now or if something reminds, I can mention it, knowing that it's past history. Geoff.

[Starwolf]

Well done Topsy,

This is indeed a momentous decision, one everyone of us should make again each day...because its application to daily life is not easy.

The past has no future. It only serves to keep us anchored to a world that has ceased to exist. Life is a dynamic process but attachment to the past dams its flow. The here and now is all we ever have. The past is gone forever and the future may never happen. The only way we can try to shape the future is to be fully present, fully focused in the moment, responding to it instead of reacting ( and over-reacting !) according to past trauma and negativity.

The past is like a ghost. It can scare us and haunt us. In reality it is only a shadow, a projection in the present of something which is no more. It only has life if we drag it along in our here and now. Left where it belongs, it cannot touch us. It is dead.

Congratulations Topsy ! If this is what you want, then you will find what it takes to make it happen. No matter what haunts us, we all deserve to be free from such life-sucking parasites.

I wish you peace of mind.

[Guest_1695]

Hi Paul,

Thanks for your reply and all of the wonderful points you made regarding how a person can enhance their way of thinking and viewing life.

I do realise that I am "ME" and there are some things I may not e able to change about myself, but I will endeavour to make the most of what I do have.

There are some days when my depression feels very overwhelming, and other days where I forget I have ever had a diagnosis for depression.

A psychologist I am currently seeing advised me to try to do something I enjoy doing each day. It made me realise I have a right to be able to do just that.

For me, it does not have to be anything huge. This morning I went for a walk and felt very blessed to be able to hear the birds singing and to see the beautiful colours of the parrots. I thanked myself for making the effort to go for a walk, and felt much better for having made the effort.

Regarding the assertiveness, I have been able to phone an advisor in the organisation I work for and have requested assistance with a situation. I have been told how to deal with the situation. I still have to face it when it happens, but at least now I know my rights and how to deal with the issue.

For me that was a huge step. I don't like confrontation of any kind. Now I feel like I have the power to stand up for what is right and with in the rules and not be walked all over.

Doing this in a positive and effective way is empowering. So is the ability of being able to say NO and sticking to your no.

I like you comment "Walk Slower, Think Slower, Talk Slower."

Cheers for now from Topsy

[Guest_1695]

Hi Geoff,

Thanks for your reply. Sometimes it is not easy to let go of stuff, I certainly do realise that.

Our minds like to go over stuff again and again. For me the thing is to look at a situation, try to understand why something happened, realise there is nothing I can do to change what happened, but I can rethink how I feel about it.

During a session with a therapist, I was asked to close my eye and visualise my thoughts going down a river. I have a very imaginative mind.

The next thing, I was seeing huge ants on surfboards standing up on two legs holding signs revealing hassles and problems that had been dragging me down. These ants were cruising on down the river, taking my hassles with them. They had huge smiles on their faces as well.

Occasionally I think of that image and try to tell myself that is what I need to do, give those ants my hassles! Ha. Ha. It would be great if it was that easy.

"Knowing something is past history" those are very powerful and productive words Geoff! Thanks.

Cheers from TT.