Learning to be positive- suggestions / comments welcome

[Elizabeth CP]

I had a session with my psychiatrist on Wed and felt it would be good to put some of my thoughts in writing. Doing it on this forem I hoped would allow others to comment and help me gain more benefit and hopefully benefit other readers.

I was apprehensive about the session as I had had some challenges since my last session and I was still unsure if he really understood me.

It was a good session and I thought I would list the positives in this thread:

He has accepted that it is my choice not to take antidepressants and accepted my reasons. This takes pressure off me as I don't have to keep explaining and I know I am justified in my decision.

He gave me very clear guidance in when to take sleeping tablets. Sleep is a big issue for me and lack of sleep really impacts on my depression. I will use sleeping tablets when required to prevent me going more than 2 nights in a row without sleeping properly.

I will use anti anxiety medication when anxiety levels escalate due to PTSD triggers or other stresses to calm down enough to then use other techniques effectively. (I don't like taking drugs so there is no risk for me of overusing them)

After discussion I was able to tell the psychiatrist what the most crucial issue was and he reassured me that we can address this issue. . I am unsure how he can change things but it was a relief to know he understood that this is the most important issue.

My homework is to write down the positives that have occurred due to the bad things that happened when I was  child. After talking about all the negatives which have happened in my life in sessions being forced to come up with positive outcomes was hard but after coming up with a couple of ideas in the session it took away some of the pain and negativity away. That night I was able to elaborate further on those positives. Examples of positives include learning to manage money because we had little. This has made it easier to manage financially as an adult.  Working hard at school (my way of coping with all the negative feelings) enabled me to succeed academically.

On return home I was able to tell my husband what had been discussed with the psych and asked him to encourage me to carry out the homework. This is a huge step as I am embarrassed about needing help and avoid talking about it. The discussion  provoked significant level of anxiety but I did it and my husband listened and was supportive 

I recommited to my goal of swimming at a lake nearby each week. 

[Dwwmills]

Hello Elizabeth CP.

I just like to say that I like reading your posts. I found them thought-provoking and helpful.

I’m glad you had a good session with your psychiatrist as this is very important to feel comfortable with your professional help. I found that progress with my anxiety comes in bursts rather than a slow gradual process. I have also found that the best sessions I’ve had with my health professionals are the ones where I come to the session with more preparation and reflection on what’s been happening.

Sleep is so so important! My bad days usually follow my bad nights. I use sleeping tablets in very much the same way as you do to prevent over tiredness. I have use lack of sleep at times as a way of controlling anxiety and avoiding facing things. I find sometimes if I’m tired this can prevent me worrying as I have to use all of my cognitive ability to perform my work tasks. At times I deliberately stay up late to numb myself out for the next day. This is a bit like playing Russian roulette though as being tired can have the opposite effect to what I was hoping for. I don’t know whether anybody else does this. It would be interesting to know.

Not sure I quite follow you on using anxiety medication in short bursts as to my understanding it can take six weeks for this to start having effects. I’d be interested to know what you were doing.

Finding some genuine positive outcomes from negative events that have occurred in our lives is an important thing to do. You wouldn’t go in to have these bad situations happen deliberately to get these positive effects but at least there are some positives from it.

Having your partner support you in what you’re doing is very important. My partner has been very supportive and am very lucky to have had that.

Wishing you good luck and looking forward to reading your future posts.

Dean

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks for your reply. Using sleep deprivation as a way to manage anxiety seems a dangerous thing. When I'm tired I am not able to think clearly & make mistakes which compounds problems. I am not taking medication on a regular basis due to the severe side effects but I occasionally use short acting medication to calm down short term. The plan is to only use it when I am really worked up just to cope enough to then use other techniques to settle down. I suffer from depression and PTSD so the anxiety is not constant but occurs when triggered by things related to the PTSD and other stressful situations. I need to learn to face some of the things related to the PTSD so being able to manage this is important.  I was doing exposure therapy but rather than using appropriate techniques to cope with resultant anxiety I was reverting to very unhelpful behaviours which made things worse. The way I am using medication now is to suit my situation and not suited to most other people. This is a new plan so I will see how it works.

[Guest_5218]

Hi Elizabeth,

Thanks for starting this thread.  It is an interesting concept.

Something that my interest you is a book which my psychologist lent me last year after I had completed my Exposure Therapy for ptsd.  The book title is  "What Doesn't Kill Us": The New Psychology of Posttraumatic Growth by author Stephen Joseph.

It is quite an interesting read and goes into the history of ptsd diagnosis, the symptoms, the causes, coping strategies, relaxation techniques, etc.  There is a lot of emphasis placed on social support being so important for recovery after trauma.  This is where my recovery faultered so badly I guess, as I kept what happened to me a secret for 19 years.  And I isolated myself as a result.  

Your post which mentioned trying to find 'positives' from your traumatic experience reminded me that the book also has a large section devoted to 'Growth'.  Or in other words, finding something positive that resulted from your traumatic experience. This could be personal, philosophical or relationship growth or positives.

Unfortunately I have been unable to find any positives (or growth) in what happened to me.  But I did find the book useful in other areas.  It was in this book that I read that research has shown that expressive writing (writing about one's emotions) significantly improves health and is related to posttraumatic growth.  This is one of the reasons why I joined these forums, to test this theory.  

It certainly sounds like your psychiatrist is on the same 'page' as the author of this book.

If you like reading it could be a good one for you to read.  It can be a bit 'heavy' in content, but interesting.  I dont know if you can borrow it from a library, or if your psych may lend you a copy?

I hope you find this useful.

Sherie xx

[Elizabeth CP]

Thank you Sherie for your reply. The book sounds worth reading. When my psych asked me to identify something positive from my experiences it was hard and needed some encouragement to come up with something. Once I identified one thing it was easier to find others. I never felt he was minimising what had happened but by looking at the positive helped me to move forward. 

One positive I have notices for you Sherie is that you understand what it is like for others going through difficult times and through the forum you have used that knowledge to help others. 

Has writing in the forums helped you. 

I can understand you avoiding speaking about your trauma. I avoided talking about mine. Mum & I were together during the bushfire but never spoke about it. Speaking to my husband about what happened and its impact has been a huge step for me. At least for me my family knew what had happened I wasn't isolated in the way you were. 

Look after yourself. I enjoy reading your posts but understand if you decide to take a break again.