The relationship between physical and emotional (mental health) symptoms and managing both.

[Elizabeth CP]

I have noticed a direct correlation between physical symptoms and feeling depressed or anxious. For example when tired or exhausted I become more depressed. When physically well it is easier to be physically active and productive and therefore feel better/ less depressed. Also when I am stressed I become anxious and depressed but this leads to physical problems. I have a history of temporomandibular joint dysfunction which causes severe pain in the jaw and difficulty eating and is exacerbated by me clenching my jaw when feeling stressed. This leads to lack of sleep due to pain and then more depression. 

Recently after speaking to my psychologist I set some new goals which are designed to improve my physical health as well as mental health. One of my short term goals was to paint my bedroom (something on my to do list for many months) so I would feel I had achieved something productive and feel good about myself. I tried to be sensible and keep the job manageable by not doing extra things like the floors or the ensuite. (I have a history of attempting too much and either failing (& feeling bad) or making myself sick through exhaustion.)  Unfortunately I deliberately ignored the fact I was already very tired due to multiple stresses over the last year and particularly the last few weeks which meant I had little sleep. Preparing the room to paint was harder than expected and meant I was pushing myself each day to stick to the schedule I had set. I developed a very sore mouth, tongue & throat which caused so much pain I couldn't sleep or eat properly. I pushed on assuming the problem was caused by stress/ anxiety so there was nothing to be done. I eventually went to the GP after I have nearly finished the painting and was prescribed antibiotics for an infection. I now feel guilty for causing the infection through not listening to my body and pushing it so I had no resistance to infections.

It also stops me achieving one of the important goals set with my therapist to swim in the lake each week as I can't afford to make the infection worse. Swimming in the lake was an important goal as it is something I used to enjoy but stopped doing because my husband wouldn't/couldn't go swimming. I need to start doing things on my own so I can cope as my husband becomes more & more disabled and needs increasing level of care. Also going to the lake means being in a bush environment and in the sun so it is important part of exposure therapy re PTSD related to bushfires. 

[White_Rose]

Dear Elizabeth

Yes, the classic catch 22. I think you have identified your particular problem, doing too much at any one time and not recognising the signs of tiredness. Of course hindsight is a wonderful thing. Pity it doesn't kick in earlier.

Just on the jaw problem. I went through a period of jaw clenching due to stress. Got incredible neck pain and headaches. My dentist spotted it and made what I call a mouth guard, and he called a splint I think, which I wore over the front two teeth at night when I went to bed. Has anyone suggested anything of this nature to you? When I finally managed to relax I was able to stop wearing the splint but I appreciate this may not be possible for you. However, it may be that a mouth splint or similar may help to prevent the pain. It works by reducing the ability of the jaw and back teeth to come together so clenching is not possible. Doesn't keep your mouth open or anything like that, just keeps a slight gap between the back teeth.

Can I suggest you discuss with your psych how to recognise the signs of tiredness and when it is OK to rest when trying to achieve one of your goals. Also recognising that it's OK to take a break if only to prevent the above scenario.

I notice that if I do not eat properly, e.g fruit and vegies etc, I become tired, cranky, dispirited and my depression sends me into a downward spiral. Really frustrating. I am now working out how to have a good diet without feeling deprived. Also how not to fall into your trap, going overboard, giving up and then beating myself up. So easy to do.Also trying to exercise more as I discover the mental health benefits of this. Trouble is I really dislike exercise so I go to my local physiotherapist practice and join in an exercise class. It's not really enough so I need to increase the classes. I find I am more motivated in the company of others rather than working on my own, at least in exercise.

Learn to forgive yourself. I said to someone else, if I had $1 for every mistake I would be very rich. So I need to recognise the signs of laziness and lack of motivation and accept this is me, while putting motivation back into my life.

Your infection will clear up and you will start to feel better. Then look at swimming again. If I lived near you I would join you in the lake.

Mary

[Elizabeth CP]

Thank you Mary, I really appreciate your answers.

I have got a mouth splint but can't tolerate it. I had it adjusted several times but I was so aware of it in my mouth that it made me more anxious so I couldn't relax and go to sleep thus making the problem worse. The recent pain in my mouth was different but has nearly clearer up since taking antibiotics. 

I stopped work last October due to stress trying to manage work due to my husband's frequent episodes of illness. My psychologist wanted me to look for a group (such as bushwalking) I could join for myself. This would give me social outlet & exercise I need. Unfortunately this has been put on hold until my ankle recovers fully.  Lack of exercise, pain & lack of sleep due to my injury have left me very unfit so my exercise program is very slow but I feel my ankle is much stronger so I am improving.

I am still struggling accepting that I am not as young and fit as I was and therefore can't do things I used to do. Also my father whom I was close to and admired was a really hard worker and refused to slow down or give up even when he was sick. I have always struggled to be as good as him and never really accept that my different talents are good enough. He encouraged me to develop my own talents so it wasn't his fault I feel like this. 

The problem is I fluctuate between taking on tasks which are too hard or feeling guilty for not doing enough. While doing my bedroom I knew I was overtired but only stopped when a task was done and then I usually collapsed in a heap until I got enough energy to force myself to keep going. I did this because I knew if I didn't finish before my husband returned home I wouldn't cope. (He was in respite for 5 days). 

I am trying to catch up on things which I didn't get done last week as well as trying to rest and recover. That is something I struggle with as the guilty negative feelings arrive when I am not busy. My psych must get sick of trying to help me learn to deal with those feelings

Other people have much worse problems so I feel I should be coping better without compaining