Sexuality and gender identity

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LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place

replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

by MsPurple •

Blue Voices Member•

Posted in Sexuality and gender identity

•

22-08-2017

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221 unread

IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section

replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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Re. Coming out

replies: 2

Hi, My 12 yrs old daughter came out as a lesbian to me this year. I'm very supportive of her. However, I've been separated from her Dad a long time, but she hasn't come out to him. Last week, I found out she has been self harming and has suicidal plans. She says she feels numb and thinks of suicide 2x a week. I had known she was sad, and had been encouraging her to talk with someone, but I hadn't realised how deeply she's been depressed. I've got a mental health plan for her. My daughter has come out to her close friends as well. She says her self harming and suicidal thoughts aren't related to her coming out. But I feel they are, as when she goes to her Dad's house she is hiding who she is from her Dad and half-brothers. Her Dad isn't supportive of same-sex relationships and has made inappropriate comments about being gay infront of my daughter and has strong Catholic beliefs. Of course not realising she's gay. I feel somewhere deep inside herself my daughter feels shame. I would like to tell her father, as I know he loves her. I feel if he knew maybe he might realise that his comments are having a harmful impact on his daughter. My daughter really doesn't want him to know as fears she will lose his relationship. I know it would be really difficult to tell her Dad, I would gladly be her support person, but I know in time he would come round. I feel she's been hiding so much deep inside and I think she's struggling to understand it all. I want to respect my daughter's wishes and I won't tell her Dad without consent. Has anyone out there been in a similar situation and has some words of advice for my daughter and myself? She has a supportive friendship group and school environment and she is saying nothing bad is happening there.

Everything that’s happening in America

replies: 2

I’ve been hearing a lot online about what America is doing to trans people in particular and at first I thought it was fake but then I did research and I saw all the laws and statements and it made me feel afraid. Afraid that people like me are being treated like that. Is there something wrong with the way that I am? What did we do to deserve that? I’m scared that I’m going to be harmed for being who I am.theo (fae/faer)

Dating

replies: 5

I have never had a girlfriend I have never done anything with a girl and I feel like I never will I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I don’t know if it’s because I am overweight and not attractive. I feel like I will be single forever and not find lo... View more

Tdov yesterday

replies: 1

Trans day of visibility yesterday I feel like I can't be out safely. I don't feel safe anymore. Not from anyone

Hiding and masking

replies: 2

I feel as though I am constantly hiding myself from others. I am gay and am terrified of telling those around me. Some friends know I am bi and family have suspicions (cousin saw me on a dating app) however it’s not something I have been able voice. I am in my 30s and don’t date. I mean I want to but the fear has been real for soo long i joke with friends about my lack of dating and mask my insecurities when jokes hurt I feel like I don’t deserve to be happy and don’t know how to change this thought process

Introduction And Gender Identity Question

replies: 4

Hello, my name is Ake! I'm new to the forums. I wasn't sure where to post but I thought here might be a good place. I am bisexual and genderfluid. My pronouns are she/they/he. Please use them interchangeably, or default to they/them if you're unsure. So I was wondering if anyone had any tips with looking more androgynous? I'm not sure how to explain it, but even though I do sometimes express myself in a stereotypical manner of my Assigned Gender At Birth, I hate how I look. I want to look androgynous, so I can easily fit into whatever gender I am a particular day. I have both masculine and feminine features (I am technically intersex but was assigned a specific binary gender) but I still don't feel like my appearance represents the real me. I'm not sure if that makes any sense, but basically how do I make my gender more ambiguous based on physical appearance? I can't wear long sleeves so things like jackets aren't an option and I'm not fully out yet so I wouldn't be able to do anything medical wise. I just want people to see me and not immediately assume I'm x gender. Thank you for reading I would love to make friends with you all.

Am I asexual?

replies: 2

Hey all, wondering if I might be asexual. Basically I never feel sexually attracted to anyone. When I’ve had sex with men I’ve enjoyed it, but there is always that lack of attraction to get over before we get to the act itself. But I do enjoy the act itself. Four times in my life I have had what I call a girl crush, when I met an older woman who I felt was an amazing person, who I respected and admired, wanted to be like, wanted the approval of, wanted to spend time with etc. These happened more when I was younger (I am 40) but I do have one now. I don’t think they are sexual in nature - one might have gone that way if she had been interested (she wasn’t) but mostly it isn’t like that. I have only had one relationship with a guy, in my early 20s, where I compromised and went out with someone I kinda liked because I was sick of waiting for the fireworks everyone spoke about. Not sure I have ever really fallen in love before but the girl crushes can feel a bit like that because of the infatuation element. The one at the moment is less intense than the previous ones. Most of the time when I meet guys (or women for that matter) I don’t find them anything special and even if I can see they are objectively hot I am not attracted to them. I find plenty of people I’d like to be friends with but very few I feel anything stronger for. Please help, am I asexual, gay or just straight but haven’t met the right guy? thank you!

New and...feeling nervous.

replies: 8

Hi. Um...not sure where to start. I have been on many forums like this in the past. None were Australian so maybe it'll be easier to find support closer to home. I'm not a big fan of talking about myself but I'll try, just to give you an idea. I am 33. Female. Gay (though not feeling much admiration for anyone right now). Artist. Currently studying design. I have a rare genetic disorder and I look "normal" but am in constant pain and too bendy. It takes too long to describe my illness. Maybe I'll talk about it sometime, it is a horrible thing. I have suffered depression, anxiety,panic disorder since I was 9. My parents are hippies who don't believe in psychologists. They left me to my own devices most ofthe time as they were too busy being intellectuals, and my mum was always sick. I have self-harmed since 14 and I have managed not to for 2 years but seem to have started again. I have tried to die...let me see...5 or 6 times now. I am told I am very talented but I don't see how that is relevant when I am not enjoying my life at all. I have just started seeing a new psych and she is lovely. Not sure if she is anything else. As you can probably see, I am very bitter and jaded. I feel very alone, I have always felt very alone, I don't believe I have what it takes to keep friends, let alone anything more serious. Sorry I'm talking in such a stilted way, I'm a bit of a control freak so this is my way of not losing it. Anyhow...yep, I've seen all sides of the mental health industry, and have actually been told by many professionals that I fall into the "too hard box" I'm not sounding very likeable right now, and that's weird because apparently I'm very funny. Oh well. Anyhow....I joined to BB tonight because...because.....I don't know. I need solutions, and care.

Non binary identity questioning my sexuality

replies: 1

Hi all. My name is Joy. I am new to the forums and I'd like to share/vent and ask a few questions. I'm in my late 30s and I came out as non binary to my friends last year and received love, care, affection and attention. I started dressing differently and acted more like myself. I came out a second time to my parents which was awkward to say the least. It was on a drive back from NSW to QLD and sadly after a funeral. It was open partly on my behalf and it seemed well... I took up the non binary baton as it were and started using pronouns she/her/theirs and asked to be called Joy. My parents hated this part. They refuse to call me Joy and get a bit embarrassed seeing me in "women's" clothes. I chose to ignore this but around Xmas time last year my mum said "you can come round just don't step on anyone's toes" I caved in and wore more manly clothes and felt watched, I couldn't be myself. Has anyone ever felt like they've had to hide who they truly are just to survive society and parents? I don't really pass at all (which I hate) I've had a wonderful time using make up and dressing how I want to but it still feels like I'm living out of fear. My trans hero is Anohni, Non Binary hero Genesis P-Orridge. I am who I am I grew up admiring queer celebrities and I love Tegan and Sara, too. I have had one sexual encounter in my life and it was traumatic. I want to take my time with sex, which is why I'm leaning towards demisexual. I had strong sexual feelings for my best friend but was never reciprocated. I don't want to feel like I have to go to nightclubs or hook up. I want a relationship, I long to be loved for all I am and to have a friend for life, call me old fashioned I don't give a $&#@ Are there any online forums or such where I can slowly get to know the wider LGBTQIA+ community? I am shy and instantly feel rejection in new situations. I love music first and foremost, cinema and art, and books. I am finding it increasingly difficult in this day and age to connect. Any suggestions and comments will be greatly appreciated! Joy

What should I do with homophobic parents

replies: 1

Hi I'm 4eyesgirl and I'm newlate last year my friends help me find my sexually and I'm Bi but I have Christian parents and If you know that there. Not supportive what should I do they don't know at the moment and the moment they find out I'm doomed. ... View more

LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place replies: 221

IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section replies: 0

Re. Coming out replies: 2

Everything that’s happening in America replies: 2

Dating replies: 5

Tdov yesterday replies: 1

Hiding and masking replies: 2

Introduction And Gender Identity Question replies: 4

Am I asexual? replies: 2

New and...feeling nervous. replies: 8

Non binary identity questioning my sexuality replies: 1

What should I do with homophobic parents replies: 1