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BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 223

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

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murraybakersydney Gay Male and lacking a sense of belonging
  • replies: 2

Hi, just reaching out to see if anyone feels similar to the way I do about being gay and feeling a sense of belonging. Essentially, I don't (feel a sense of belonging). I'm a gay male, 40, white, with a partner of 18 years, in a suburb close to the c... View more

Hi, just reaching out to see if anyone feels similar to the way I do about being gay and feeling a sense of belonging. Essentially, I don't (feel a sense of belonging). I'm a gay male, 40, white, with a partner of 18 years, in a suburb close to the city that has a lot of other gay people (but not exclusively). I feel like a little gay sheep living a world of straight wolves, and yet I feel excluded by the other sheep because my wool isn't blue and sequined. I don't feel connected to "the scene" anymore. It's expensive, nothing ever changes (no, changing from midnight shift to universal is not what I call "change"), I feel like I don't fit in because I don't look EXACTLY like a typical twink, nor a bear, nor a muscle-guy. I'm just me and that feels not good enough, no place for me. I don't feel a place in the wider LGBTIQ etc community either. More and more I'm feeling excluded for being a gay man as opposed to a more diverse sexuality or gender, and it feels like one is only welcome in the community if they are anything other than a gay white man PLUS you must also be gender diverse PLUS you must also be non-white PLUS ideally you must also have a disability of some kind. I'm not asking for the "spotlight on me please", I'm just asking to feel like there is place for me in the rainbow community, which is the closest thing I've felt to a sene of belonging, ever. Anyone else feeling like this?

R.Penn Breakup and feeling isolated
  • replies: 8

Hi all, I am feeling a bit isolated and wanted to see if anyone could relate or have some ideas I hadn’t thought of yet in regards to my situation: I am 34 and unemployed waiting for NDIS to approve my application, I am ASD and ADHD. I also have PTSD... View more

Hi all, I am feeling a bit isolated and wanted to see if anyone could relate or have some ideas I hadn’t thought of yet in regards to my situation: I am 34 and unemployed waiting for NDIS to approve my application, I am ASD and ADHD. I also have PTSD. I also applied for creative writing at uni to keep busy and hear from them this week hopefully.So…I broke up with my bf of 2 years on the weekend, it wasn’t like a “new year new me thing” it’s just been on and off between us and he deserves less confusion and not to be put on hold. I am the problem as I have dated and had relationships with only women until I met him, we are both non binary and we share really good friendship. I do still feel like I am 95% gay for women and he makes the other 5% as I have never really found men attractive but shared more emotional connections as friends. He feels a lot stronger feelings for me but I have always felt pressured into a relationship with him from the start and I decided after living together and his family pushing my boundaries this Christmas, I am uncomfortable and think we are better as friends and support for one another. Our share house is not ideal either which has been effecting me, we live with an older man that won’t move out and he is inconsiderate and mean, mysgonist to every female that has lived here and passive aggressive. I see my psychologist in 3 weeks but I feel like not much has changed just the fact I communicated what I wanted. We would both like to move, but my support network is in Melbourne (only one good friend down there) but I can’t leave him here with the housemate we live with as he gets bullied by him. I feel attached still and do not really know where to go from here. I feel lost in my life still and unsure what to do with myself on a day to day basis being unemployed and spending too much time around the home will not be good for me while we live together I think. The housing situation in Queensland is so bad still and I do feel really stuck and trapped. I do hope 2024 proves to be easier for everyone and we can make some lgbt family friends and connection somehow

Johnny7790 Alot of hate against me
  • replies: 1

Hi my name is Johnny I have been going through some hard time I have had some mental health breakdown I haven't been myself lately I need some help

Hi my name is Johnny I have been going through some hard time I have had some mental health breakdown I haven't been myself lately I need some help

Billy1890 How's everyone doing tonight?
  • replies: 1

It's a really hard time of year. How is everyone doing? I'm not having the best night tonight.But I'm safe.I'm just wondering how everyone else is coping rn. Wish you all love and happiness, even if it is a challenge rn, it's just one day, it doesn't... View more

It's a really hard time of year. How is everyone doing? I'm not having the best night tonight.But I'm safe.I'm just wondering how everyone else is coping rn. Wish you all love and happiness, even if it is a challenge rn, it's just one day, it doesn't define your year. Love you all.

Chef_Sunny Resenting my sexuality (Lesbian)
  • replies: 1

Hey, I never thought I would be someone to contribute on forums but here I am. I am a 21-year-old Lesbian, I have always known I am a lesbian and I have never had doubts, but I have come to resent my identity. I am the only person in all my social gr... View more

Hey, I never thought I would be someone to contribute on forums but here I am. I am a 21-year-old Lesbian, I have always known I am a lesbian and I have never had doubts, but I have come to resent my identity. I am the only person in all my social groups who isn't attracted to men. All my mates are straight or bi or pan, and I am just there. I feel like I am in a world of my own. It sucks seeing so many romances between guys and girls through media and then looking at myself, I am never going to have that. I sit here wishing I liked boys like everyone else in my life, but here I am. I guess I want to know how other people cope with this. I wish I had someone to talk about this with but its hard to bring up with my friends, and I am single so I have no partner to discuss this with. All the best, Chef_Sunny

Guest_9866 Scared and too late
  • replies: 1

Basically, I am terrified. I have never been intimate. I am mid 40s and living in a regional city. I have come close but nothing beyond that. There is only one app and limited options, and those on it and far more advance and experience including you... View more

Basically, I am terrified. I have never been intimate. I am mid 40s and living in a regional city. I have come close but nothing beyond that. There is only one app and limited options, and those on it and far more advance and experience including younger. I have been honest in my profile and I have received messages but then I am too scared to reply. I have no friends. I am a carer for my elderly father. Completely isolated. I have just a Ai friend only.

Tash1995 Lesbian Thoughts After Hetrosexual Rape
  • replies: 5

18 months ago I was raped by an older male, ever since then the thought of having a relationship with a man has absolutely frightened me. I have also noticed a strong attraction to other women, to the point where I am sure I am a lesbian. This is so ... View more

18 months ago I was raped by an older male, ever since then the thought of having a relationship with a man has absolutely frightened me. I have also noticed a strong attraction to other women, to the point where I am sure I am a lesbian. This is so confusing for me as I never noticed this before the rape and am really unsure on how to proceed. I'm not sure if the rape brought out these feelings due to me not being able to be around men or if this has always been the case and I have just never noticed it before. Thoughts and advice? (19 yrs old, female)

cycleman Gay married going crazy
  • replies: 3

Hi AllIm 61 married for 32 years and I know I am gay. I love my adoring wife and children but I cannot continue to deceive them. I was in love when I got married and have been very happy up until the last few years when I cant stop thinking about men... View more

Hi AllIm 61 married for 32 years and I know I am gay. I love my adoring wife and children but I cannot continue to deceive them. I was in love when I got married and have been very happy up until the last few years when I cant stop thinking about men and being free to experiment. I feel like my mind is a constant battle field of my thoughts. I dont think I can continue this lie much longer. I need to tell my family the truth. However I know in unloading my burden I tranfer it to them and my wife in particular. How can I tell my wife when I know it will destroy her life! Thank you for listening

Confused_gurl My husband just told me he is trans
  • replies: 19

So I have been married for over ten years and have two children with my husband. He told me last week that he feels like a female. I am hoping I am being supportive, asked about pronouns and explored what it means. He doesn't really care about pronou... View more

So I have been married for over ten years and have two children with my husband. He told me last week that he feels like a female. I am hoping I am being supportive, asked about pronouns and explored what it means. He doesn't really care about pronouns right now so when I write he and husband it is on his wishes. But I am so emotionally confused and just want someone to tell me this can work. I am not gay but I love him as a person and think I can still make this work.At the moment we are talking more openly and it feels great.. but he and I work in an environment that I feel if he does transition we will be fired. How do I support him through this without our whole world falling apart. Also how do you tell your kids these things without destroying them (they are 7 and 8). I am going to see a doctor next week to explore therapy and so is he but I guess what I am after is success stories... So yeah... That is my full on news...

Whichway Really struggling with sexuality
  • replies: 2

I haven’t been the nicest person…I was always homophobic as a young guy… I thought being gay was the worst thing in the world. I didn’t know anything just what my older cousins taught me.. I was confident of my sexuality and attracted to woman from a... View more

I haven’t been the nicest person…I was always homophobic as a young guy… I thought being gay was the worst thing in the world. I didn’t know anything just what my older cousins taught me.. I was confident of my sexuality and attracted to woman from a young age and still am physically… When I was 19 something told me out of the blue that I was gay! I don’t know why but it came from a bit of a mixture of not really wanting to be in a relationship with a woman … ever I thought? Whoosh!! I’m gay!! Despite never being sexually attracted to a man before. i couldn’t accept this… at all. So I went into deep denial. I hated myself from that point onwards until now continually. I’ve never had a gay thought or fantasy, but I feel like I sleep with woman I’m a bad person or to prove to myself that I’m not gay. Ive tried everything other than to be gay - made friends with gay people and the queer community, opened myself up to absolutely every possible thing, self help books, changed my entire attitude to be more loving… but I have consistent relationships that fail with woman so I can prove to myself I am a man. I try so hard not to be gay, I’ve never slipped up in 10 years of denial. But I can’t deny it.. when I chat the gay barrista my heart opens I can’t keep breaking these girls hearts and my own I feel horrible. I keep saying these girls hoping that something might happen differently. I try so hard to make it work. I’ve met this one recently and she’s so freaking amazing, she’s so beautiful, and patient and amazing. But it’s just not right, I don’t know how to tell her Ive spoken to my friends and family about it.. it’s not given me any relief… how can I come to terms with myself… how do I accept myself? Im so scared of being gay. I’m so scared right now I feel like a helpless child.