Immediate support
Immediate support

Sexuality and gender identity

Peer support and conversations about anxiety, depression and other issues in the mental health space affecting LGBTQI+ people.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

All discussions

Start a discussion

Butterfly_Wings_of_Hope Bi / bicurious married woman
  • replies: 5

Hi there I am a thirty one year old woman in a hetero marriage. I have only ever been in hetero relationships but I have been attracted to both men and women since I was a teen and I am now talking to my husband about having a threesome with a woman.... View more

Hi there I am a thirty one year old woman in a hetero marriage. I have only ever been in hetero relationships but I have been attracted to both men and women since I was a teen and I am now talking to my husband about having a threesome with a woman. my question is, are sexuality labels (gay, bi, straight etc.) based on attraction or experience? i am attracted to women but have no sexual experience with them. are you bi curious when you only have the attraction and not the experience? Thanks. Just not sure if im bi curious or bi

SaoirseJ Growing attraction to women but married to a man
  • replies: 8

I'm in my late 30s and married to a lovely man, we've had our fair share of struggles. We've been together 13 years, the last 10 have been characterised by the stillbirth of our only child, miscarriages and infertility. We have no living children. 2 ... View more

I'm in my late 30s and married to a lovely man, we've had our fair share of struggles. We've been together 13 years, the last 10 have been characterised by the stillbirth of our only child, miscarriages and infertility. We have no living children. 2 years ago after the last miscarriage something in me changed, I think the scales tipped - my desire to have a baby was no longer strong enough to warrant the pain and trauma of the loss I kept enduring. I started to focus more on my fitness and got into running. It felt great to do something rewarding and energising that made me feel good. I met a lot of women, a few gay women, one of whom I really connected with and eventually fell in love with. I still am, 18 months later. We are good friends and have long easy chats but she doesn't know how I feel. My husband wants us to continue to try to have children. He struggles with the idea of us not having kids. I can't give him that anymore. He knows about my SSA and has had trouble coming to terms with it. I want to leave the marriage and start a new life, but it is so hard to leave and hurt someone I still love very much, but cannot imagine sleeping with ever again, and who now wants very different things to me. Looking back on my adolescence, I was never attracted to men. I wanted them to like me and I just fell into that life because it was what everyone did. But it was women I idolised, thought about, stared at and yep, lusted after. I remember having a few panicked moments about my sexuality - I was raised conservative - but I ignored it and liked being with boys, or at least attention from boys, enough to meet one I liked and get married. It's only now I realise I have only ever done what's expected and not thought about what I wanted. I have moments of clarity where I'm hopeful, I think of a future with a woman, maybe my friend, and feel happy and excited. But I also question my own feelings, and am scared I've made it all up as an easy way out of my marriage. Then there's the denial, I feel like I can't possibly be gay, even though at the same time it feels much more natural and normal than I ever have about men. The other day I was watching McLeods Daughters (I missed all the hype in the early 2000s) and now cannot stop thinking about Claire McLeod in that white singlet haha. It's hard to get all this straight in my head. I can't quite believe I'm gay, but at the same time can't believe I was ever straight. Anyone else been here? It's so lonely

Guest_2350 No place for me
  • replies: 6

Hi,I’m struggling. I find it so hard to fit in and find support. It doesn’t help that I live remote. I’m just really really sad.

Hi,I’m struggling. I find it so hard to fit in and find support. It doesn’t help that I live remote. I’m just really really sad.

Bi_guy 30 yo male, married, bisexual and scared - need help
  • replies: 17

Hi A bit of an introduction. I’m a married bisexual guy and have been with my wife for 10 years. I always knew I was bi-curious but was convinced I was straight because I mainly only had emotional crushes on girls. This all changed ages 27 when I rea... View more

Hi A bit of an introduction. I’m a married bisexual guy and have been with my wife for 10 years. I always knew I was bi-curious but was convinced I was straight because I mainly only had emotional crushes on girls. This all changed ages 27 when I realised I still had a strong sexual desire for guys, almost exclusively Asian guys. It took me another three years to be comfortable identifying as bisexual. My problem is that, I love my wife so much, but I can’t help find I am more sexually attracted to Asian guys. It plays on my mind and I find it hard long term to cope with my primary sexual desire not being my wife. But I am confused because I don’t have much emotional response to guys and I don’t see like I could be with a guy long term and grow old together. My wife and I have built a life together and have a young son. She is at her wits end with my struggles with my sexuality. I just want to know if any other bisexual guys are the same and how do you cope? I find not viewing images or porn of attractive Asian guys helps because it lowers my desire for them. But I can’t help fear that I would be better with an Asian guy and embracing it may help the emotion come. But I don’t want to lose my life and my family on a whim. As you can see, my mind goes back and forth. In short, if there are any bisexual guys who are similar or gone through something similar, I would love to know your thoughts.

L3js97 Moving Out Soon
  • replies: 1

So, I have the plan of moving out soon. However, I have no money and my parents are extremely strict, so I can’t obtain a job. So strict in fact, I hide the fact I am an atheist and gay and have been doing so for a long time. Their cultural values of... View more

So, I have the plan of moving out soon. However, I have no money and my parents are extremely strict, so I can’t obtain a job. So strict in fact, I hide the fact I am an atheist and gay and have been doing so for a long time. Their cultural values of marriage and ideas of women hinder me and I feel so trapped in life. I must also get away from my homophobic community which has ostracised me. It is soo draining on my mental health. I must assert my independence soon. I would love to make friends and gather support from all of you. One day, I hope to choose my own family. But for now, I’ve got my dreams and goals.

dazzling_mushroom834 I'm very very confused...
  • replies: 2

I'm very lost and i'm just looking for help... Im 19 years old and i've been on lots of antidepressants for about 3 years so my thoughts about sexuality have been basically non-existent i even wondered if i was asexual and that scared me (not that th... View more

I'm very lost and i'm just looking for help... Im 19 years old and i've been on lots of antidepressants for about 3 years so my thoughts about sexuality have been basically non-existent i even wondered if i was asexual and that scared me (not that there is a problem i just don't relate to that). Recently i've come off alot of my medication and i've stared having fantasies they started off straight but have recently begun to wander alot, I can also see myself ending up long term with a man or a woman, i know that these signs point towards being bi but i wonder if i'm just making these feelings up in my head. I don't really have any experience with anything (even kissing) as i've been in hospital during the time most people begin to explore themselves. I cant really talk to my parents, they're not homophobic but i've tried and they kinda tried to talk me out of it I also don't have many understanding friends. I would love someone elses opinion, thx.

Willow Jude Happy Wear it Purple Day!
  • replies: 2

Wear it Purple Day is an annual event showing support for LGBTQIA+ young people. I would love to hear how any BBers have been celebrating today, or what Wear it Purple Day means to members of the rainbow community/their loved ones

Wear it Purple Day is an annual event showing support for LGBTQIA+ young people. I would love to hear how any BBers have been celebrating today, or what Wear it Purple Day means to members of the rainbow community/their loved ones

solotraveller Bi???
  • replies: 7

I think I might be bi. I have only had very unsuccessful male partners but have always been attracted to women as well. I have had one sexual encounter with a woman, and recently have been doing some soul searching and think I might be bi, which leav... View more

I think I might be bi. I have only had very unsuccessful male partners but have always been attracted to women as well. I have had one sexual encounter with a woman, and recently have been doing some soul searching and think I might be bi, which leaves me with mixed emotions because, I dont know wheather I am definitely bi and I feel like a bit of a fraud to go and find support if I end up being straight. I dont even know wherr to get support it all seems to be gay, lesbian, trans not really bi specific. From what I have read on the internet (not always a great idea) that bi people get a hard time from both the heterosexual and lgbtqi community. I know noone can decide this for me but me im just really anxious about my realisation and I just would like to know that there are other people out there that are/have been through feelong like this. TIA

iwanttoconnect28 gender fluid person
  • replies: 6

hi everyone im a 28 yo male and i am desperately want to connect with others so i can explore my gender and sexuality with likeminded people, but more so i can dress and express myself in fem fashion, since ive come out as a bi trans fem person i fel... View more

hi everyone im a 28 yo male and i am desperately want to connect with others so i can explore my gender and sexuality with likeminded people, but more so i can dress and express myself in fem fashion, since ive come out as a bi trans fem person i felt like a weirdo and a second class person having lost a few friends and my job and being told by my mum that it takes away the rights of actual women, i have no intention of hurt actual women i just to want to be more my authentic self and drop my masculine act.