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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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Gruffudd Gay boys and their mothers.
  • replies: 13

I haven't been around here for a while, life got complicated for a while. Sometimes when I have really needed it mum has been there, she listens and loves, not many people have done that in my life. Then there are the times she needs the same and thi... View more

I haven't been around here for a while, life got complicated for a while. Sometimes when I have really needed it mum has been there, she listens and loves, not many people have done that in my life. Then there are the times she needs the same and this is one of them. The second marriage has broken down. He never liked me because I am gay and because mother and I seem to get along better then he does with his children. At christmas it all got a bit uncomfortable, he told mum that she was not allowed to see her grandchildren and my brother and I because he doesn't approve of us and he can't cope. I don't much like the idea that disliking me was tolerable but the rest of the family was the deal breaker, never mind though. It has been a long time coming and there has been a lot of bullying and controlling behaviour which upsets awfully. What can a boy do but be there, travel a few hours after work, listen, explain how to rent a house to a mother who never has, move furniture, garden... After these two months she has made a move, is more herself then in years. I feel some conflict for being happy that this change happened, but I just don't like seeing her so unhappy. It doesn't help with the "all men are..." sentiment. Next stop Paris on holidays with mother I think.

soulsolaris Pansexual?
  • replies: 5

So i thought i would share alittle bit about my sexuality aswell as some dating experiences. So to keep it brief, i came out as bisexual to friends when i was 16 and i had interests in some guys and some girls. Most of my relationships have only been... View more

So i thought i would share alittle bit about my sexuality aswell as some dating experiences. So to keep it brief, i came out as bisexual to friends when i was 16 and i had interests in some guys and some girls. Most of my relationships have only been with women and i felt comfortable with them. I started questioning my sexuality alot & felt pressured to choose a side. Eventually i came out as a lesbian. A few years ago i met a girl in another country and i fell inlove with her. We had a long distance relationship. She eventually came out and told me she felt more like a he. And there i took a step into the transgender world. It was quite easy to accept him as he was. I did have to train myself to use the right pronouns but other than that i was seriously okay with it. I think my only concern was the unknown of how different he might become whilst taking testosterone. But we had many big talks about it all and i accepted it more and more as i learnt more. We didnt work out due to distance taking a toll on us. I still love him though.. I think after meeting him i realised i simply like people. I CAN find men attractive. I CAN find women attractive and anything inbetween. Bisexual didn't feel right for me. Nor did lesbian. Thats why pansexual is the most suitable i guess. Is there a word that describes not being attracted to a persons gender and more so their personality and soul? I figure sexuality is fluid and im really happy not to necessarily label myself. I like people. I do have a physical preferance though and that is more masculine. So if i dated a woman.. they would probably be more masculine.. and that is to balance with my feminine side (although im not super feminine). Its really hard to explain all this to people and for them to understand it. If i say i like both men and women and so forth.. the say.. so you are bisexual? But that personally doesnt fit me. If i say i prefer a masculine appearance they say.. so you really are just into men? But i cant get them to understand that its simply that i feel like i need the masculine/feminine to be balanced in the relationship. If i say i like people for their heart/soul rather than gender.. people dont understand it. Either way i am fairly content with my sexuality now. I have friends and family who accept me in relation to my sexuality and that is also really good.

Paul How can US Republican hopefuls be so out of touch with reality?
  • replies: 5

Some of the complete nonsense that these people are spinning is driving me bananas. They have kids brainwashed into saying "Trump is great" when asked why they simply reply "He's going to turn America around" and how? "Because he's great". Marco Rubi... View more

Some of the complete nonsense that these people are spinning is driving me bananas. They have kids brainwashed into saying "Trump is great" when asked why they simply reply "He's going to turn America around" and how? "Because he's great". Marco Rubio wants to reverse the same sex marriage law - he believes it's unconstitutional. Why? "Because the constitution is a living breathing document of limitation... no way that you can read that constitution and deduce from it that there is constitutional rights to an abortion or a constitutional right to marry someone of the same sex" Him and other Republicans want strict legislation on the use of public restrooms. The restroom to use is one that conforms to the sex you were physically born. I could ramble on about other tripe these people have blurted. I get the feeling that it's all for spectacle and to make people feel something and polarise opinion. I really hope it backfires. Do you think that this kind of politics is healthy? What sort of message do you think it sends to the young and/or vulnerable members of our and America's community? Paul

BluWren13 The unchosen life of an outlier
  • replies: 5

I'm turning thirty soon, which has put me in a very introspective mood. I'm ageing. I'm Im about to be that thirty year old that lives in their parents basement (if my parents had a basement). My parents are ageing and I rely on them for nearly every... View more

I'm turning thirty soon, which has put me in a very introspective mood. I'm ageing. I'm Im about to be that thirty year old that lives in their parents basement (if my parents had a basement). My parents are ageing and I rely on them for nearly everything. I'm a gender neutral, asexual, recluse. I'm am an outlier. I do not fit in current society. Yet society demands that I do, or be forgotten. I am forgotten. The only society that I identify with is the LGBT community, and yet even with them, I am still an outlier. I have tried to fit in, to bend myself into a semblance of normal, but it broke me multiple times. So now I am a forgotten outlier that is nearly completely dependant on ageing parents. I am lost.

Ouroboros A disturbing truth about how I'm choosing my psychologists
  • replies: 3

Hello all, I've recently started again to re-examine my mental health after I bout of suicidal thoughts and general feelings of anxiety, depression, panic attacks, triggering memories of some painful experiences. I've written somewhere else I'm curre... View more

Hello all, I've recently started again to re-examine my mental health after I bout of suicidal thoughts and general feelings of anxiety, depression, panic attacks, triggering memories of some painful experiences. I've written somewhere else I'm currently having a long process of choosing a psychologist but I noticed a terrible pattern in my choice but also want to reject it because its comfortable. I'm a same-sex attracted male, and always felt more comfortable talking to men in psychological sessions (I've dealt with some absolutely excellent female psychologists and counsellors but I find I am more relaxed in these sessions with men).Well sadly I often choose my psychologists partially on a physical level based on their attractiveness. I have done the same with doctors in the past. I hate admitting it because it seems ridiculously shallow and its not that I want to pursue any relationship with them or anything like that. But I am finding I'm basing a lot of my opinions on physical appearance. I don't know really what to do, I should break this as its probably some behaviour pattern of my personality disorder and they're a surrogate for a relationship I don't have or a White Knight type character. But also I don't trust my own judgement and agency in choosing a psychologist in the first place and I'm finding doctors are not assisting me successfully or I'm perceiving they do not want to help me due to maybe my behaviour and this stupid idea I want some handsome man to save me. Its a ridiculous aspect and not something I'm proud of at all. Thank you for being understanding

Mack_ Engaged and confused
  • replies: 11

Hello, I'm a 26 yo female, and in a serious relationship with a male. We got engaged 6 months ago, and honestly I am so happy. I would be devastated if anything were to happy between us. The issue is, I've always had crushes on girls - never really a... View more

Hello, I'm a 26 yo female, and in a serious relationship with a male. We got engaged 6 months ago, and honestly I am so happy. I would be devastated if anything were to happy between us. The issue is, I've always had crushes on girls - never really acted on them though and never dated a female. But have had some intense feelings (emotionally and physically) towards females. Last year I went on contiki with my fiancé and really let loose. I stopped taking my antidepressants for 8 weeks (duration of the trip) and just honestly had the time of my life! No reality, no bills, literally NO STRESS!! So, I Ended up making out with a few girls and let out my curiosities, my partner was aware I had kissed these girls but was confused also. I very briefly explained it (I'm terrible with speaking my emotions for fear of everything) was just fun and I have always been more pansexual I guess than actually in to a specific gender. He was okay with it - I guess he figured it was "a phase" because I kind of shrugged it off. However, this past weekend I met up with a few of the girls from that trip, and there's been one girl I'm into since the trip - she's so different, and I feel like she's all the things I wish I could be (happy, comfortable within herself, hippy-like, no stress, no mortgage, no bills, open about her sexuality and thoughts etc etc) I stayed at her place and the entire weekend just wanted to act on my feelings. We've both (her and I) have felt intense sexual energy since the trip last year. Now I'm home, back to reality and don't know what to think. I can't tell anyone how I'm feeling because I fear it'll ruin my relationship with my fiancé whom I really love dearly and have a life set up with. I know it's normal to fantasize, and I really feel my "crush" on her is a fantasy and because I can't act on it, it's just intensifying it all. Obviously the fact she feels the same way and can openly speak about it, makes it really hard for me too. Is it just wanting something i can't have? Should I speak to my fiancé about my feelings? I don't know what to do and have no one to speak to about this. Help or advice??

Smithsons Confused bisexual
  • replies: 12

Hi all, for those who don't know my story, long story short, I'm a 19 year old dude, been dating this girl for 6 years now. Hugely in love with her. She was my everything and I felt so happy and comfortable with her. However, for the entire time we d... View more

Hi all, for those who don't know my story, long story short, I'm a 19 year old dude, been dating this girl for 6 years now. Hugely in love with her. She was my everything and I felt so happy and comfortable with her. However, for the entire time we dated, I never told her about my attraction for men. I was so in denial about it all that I even convinced myself that that part of me wasn't even real, or that everyone felt the way I did-everyone was attracted to both sexes, and everyone was just in denial of the part that was least socially acceptable. This girl wasn't my method of proving a point, she never was.. I loved her for her. Still, I put so much emphasis on sexuality, even though right now deep down I'm not sure it's such an important thing. I tried, time and time again, to convince myself I was straight. Obviously it didn't work though. I was very confused, confused about my sexuality.. was I straight, gay? I felt different things at different times, but with this girl, it was always the same, I loved her. I recently came to the conclusion that I was bisexual, and in my head, the idea of me telling her (the first person to know anything about it) and me living guilt free, brought me immense happiness. But I guess I'm not comfortable at all with my sexuality, because since I've told her, things haven't been the same. We're still dating, but gee, we're hanging by a thread. It's not her, she was as awesome as awesome goes when I came out to her. She accepted me completely. But like I said, we're just not the same. I'm not happy anymore, even when I'm with her.. I just feel anxious around her, and it feels like something isn't right. About a month before I came out to her, I was hugely anxious about it all, and had a couple minor panic attacks, and since I've told her, I've been depressed. Three months down the track, and there's no improvement. Some days are obviously better than others, but overall it just hasn't been good. A close cousin of mine, who suffers from anxiety, believes I have it, too, and he thinks this is the cause for my unhappiness-with her and without her. I don't think he's totally wrong. I ALWAYS convince myself of the worst-my relationship is over, I'm going mental (giving me a panic attack), I have cancer, you're a threat to everyone around you. I know this is a big question, and I don't expect anyone to have the right answer, but what should I do?

Paul Midsumma Festival - your closing thoughts?
  • replies: 4

Hi Everyone. Midsumma is about to finish. Did you participate in any of the celebrations or events? If you did, what was it like and did it have an impact on your depression or anxiety? Paul

Hi Everyone. Midsumma is about to finish. Did you participate in any of the celebrations or events? If you did, what was it like and did it have an impact on your depression or anxiety? Paul

Paul Sexual or sexuality triggers
  • replies: 29

Do you have any sexual or sexuality triggers that send you into a depression or give you anxiety? Paul

Do you have any sexual or sexuality triggers that send you into a depression or give you anxiety? Paul

Rosiiie Centrelink depression and anxiety
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm currently on youth allowance job seeker. I am transgender, homeless living in transitional housing and suffer from really bad anxiety, which causes me to become really depressed. I'm not sure what I can do, I currently go to headspace, but it... View more

Hi, I'm currently on youth allowance job seeker. I am transgender, homeless living in transitional housing and suffer from really bad anxiety, which causes me to become really depressed. I'm not sure what I can do, I currently go to headspace, but it hasn't been on a regular basics. But I have appointment this week with one of there private workers, because they think that's best because I have a lot going on. My gp suggested a antidepressant. I defiantly not a lazy person, it's just anxiety takes over me. And I've never felt this low ever. I just don't know my options, or even if I can do anything about it. Would I be eligible for disability allowance? The thought of being put at work in this stage of my life makes me even more deprest.