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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Sleepy_moose Who can I speak to?
  • replies: 5

Hi, I'm new here so I do apologise if this is a commonly asked question and I'm not even sure if this is the right website for this... Though is there someone that I can speak to in person about family issues for free? I'm terribly nervous on the pho... View more

Hi, I'm new here so I do apologise if this is a commonly asked question and I'm not even sure if this is the right website for this... Though is there someone that I can speak to in person about family issues for free? I'm terribly nervous on the phone and I feel like talking about the issue in person would be better for me. Some backstory -- Lately I've found myself sometimes struggling to get to sleep and often find myself getting so worked up over the family issues and just get left feeling helpless. I know this site's for depression and anxiety so I'm not sure if this fits, I just don't know where to go. Thanks, A Sleepy_moose

NurseLindsey New to the group
  • replies: 3

Hey Everyone. I'm new to this group but have been overwhelmed lately and needed to get some things off my chest. My husband and I have been married for 2 years, we dated for 5 years before marriage. I have a 9 year old son (from a previous marriage) ... View more

Hey Everyone. I'm new to this group but have been overwhelmed lately and needed to get some things off my chest. My husband and I have been married for 2 years, we dated for 5 years before marriage. I have a 9 year old son (from a previous marriage) and a 2 year old daughter from my husband. Lately I have been feeling like family life just isn't for me. Sometimes I daydream about joining a travel nursing agency and just starting over. I love my kids and would visit them regularly, but I just don't feel like this is the right life for me. Anybody going threw something similar?

Nervous86 Not sure how much longer this can go on for
  • replies: 2

Recently my girlfriend and I split up as a result of my cheating- I do deeply love this girl but have so many things going on I feel like I could never talk to her with out making her upset- my daughter lives in another state, the mother hates me, af... View more

Recently my girlfriend and I split up as a result of my cheating- I do deeply love this girl but have so many things going on I feel like I could never talk to her with out making her upset- my daughter lives in another state, the mother hates me, after I see my daughter I feel like I'm in a black hole and have nothing. But rather than ask for help I just push people away. I've been struggling for nearly 4 years and I don't see any reason to keep it up. I don't have my daughter, I don't have my partner. I put on a huge front to people cause I don't want people to see me as weak but I don't think I could lose much more with out reaching my breaking point. I don't what to do- I don't know how to even ask for help from the people that care about me. I don't think there's many left to be honest

diff new..massive life changes,and sickened by these unsure feelings..need help.
  • replies: 5

hi..im unsure how these forums work?? but I guess ill get the hang of it do I write my concerns here?? as id like to get help with them. ill start by a quick description?? about to have a baby,move and start a whole new life with someone...im terrifi... View more

hi..im unsure how these forums work?? but I guess ill get the hang of it do I write my concerns here?? as id like to get help with them. ill start by a quick description?? about to have a baby,move and start a whole new life with someone...im terrified to the point of sickness and anxiety that I rushed into this,as we have been horrible to each other for the past 6 months!! or so even more...this is all while I have been pregnant..he has changed now for the better after he has seen the destruction his words caused but I still know he doesn't get it as he doesn't understand his abusive nature at times...not always abusive..... I have not been able to shake this gut sinking feeling of feeling trapped,unsure,like this is wrong??? ontop of this I feel tremendous guilt about having these feelings as a new father to be should be adored by his partner...I don't even feel like being around him or his family at the moment and try not to be..and I don't feel happy at all about the future that lies ahead,even about this baby,that deserves better than its mother feeling this way. I am leaving a comfort zone to move with him which I know leaving it is good for me,but leaving it for him scares me as I don't know if ill be happier or better off emotionally and mentally...I was previously on medication for anxiety and depression the lowest dose..and have struggled with self worth feelings etc and getting my life together feelings for a long time now...along with anxiety. I had too get off this medication in the third trimester of this pregnancy and now I am struggling horrifically. along with thoughts that a previous partner I had would have been a better choice to make such a big decision with as in moving and a child etc..these thoughts have been getting gut wrenchingly stronger and stronger,I only started having these strong thoughts about previous partner when my pride,self worth and who I was getting squashed verbally by my current partner...I don't like being this person and I feel physically sick to my stomach about everything...I am scared for the babies health. I have previously had a strong struggle with alcohol after i dabbled in drugs in my 20s which I know caused me severe anxiety and unfocusness on my life...I have used alcohol to counteract a lot of the underlying issues...

Tough it out Still Painful
  • replies: 1

So almost a year and half ago the relationship with my girlfriend of 6 years ended. She visited me where I lived in the middle of woop woop and I think that's what put her off. By the end we were doing long distance with her in the UK where I'm from ... View more

So almost a year and half ago the relationship with my girlfriend of 6 years ended. She visited me where I lived in the middle of woop woop and I think that's what put her off. By the end we were doing long distance with her in the UK where I'm from originally. Long story short, she broke up with me via text message,2 days after I'd bought tickets to fly back to the UK and propose to her. So yes, I was gutted. Beyond gutted. Luckily I had a friend who had been through a bad divorce who was able to help me through the worst of it,stopping me doing silly things. Eventually I was allowed to move back to civilization, taking on the FIFO lifestyle. Things have improved, but not as much as I'd hoped it would. I feel stupid to have let a girl make me feel this was. It has seriously affected me as a person. I'm no longer confident, quite the opposite. I've begun to despise my appearance finding faults everywhere, with a feeling that people are judging me constantly. It's stressing me out, and worst of all I just feel old. I Tell myself that things will get better with time, but how much longer do I have to wait?

sadbuttrue down and just about out
  • replies: 1

like everyone else I don't know where to start......I am lost.....I feel like anything I do just isn't good enough.....I have a son on ice who steals and lies to my face....I thought I had done a better job....my other son is beautiful but I cant tal... View more

like everyone else I don't know where to start......I am lost.....I feel like anything I do just isn't good enough.....I have a son on ice who steals and lies to my face....I thought I had done a better job....my other son is beautiful but I cant talk to him about this kind of stuff....I was in an unhappy marriage so I decided to leave it took me awhile to make this decision but all I wanted to be was happy.......now 7 years on I am still not happy putting up with my son without my husband and moving in with another man who is a beautiful person but when he gets down and out he stops talking to me and treats me with content...I know this is his way of dealing with things as his father did it with his mother I have tried to get him to talk to someone but he wont.......I lock myself up when he gets like this as I go into a place where I am worthless and feel like I am not worthy of anything or anyone...I don't go to work idont go anywhere...I know this is his prob but he makes it mine...I don't want to hear leave him cause he means so much to me

Cherryblossom Not being able to let sleeping dogs lie.
  • replies: 3

This is my first post since introducing myself some months ago, so here goes. I stopped going to counselling in January this year after feeling worse and going backwards with that particular therapist. I went back to my GP last month and asked to be ... View more

This is my first post since introducing myself some months ago, so here goes. I stopped going to counselling in January this year after feeling worse and going backwards with that particular therapist. I went back to my GP last month and asked to be referred to see someone because I wasn't coping at all and fortunately had got to see someone quickly and have already seen therapist once and set to see again at the end of this week. I suffer deeply from a range of problems including depression, social anxiety and panic attacks to the point I don't leave my house. I so much want a future and to change the way I am and I can plan the future, my biggest problem at the moment is living day to day. That's where I'm not coping. Every day is such a big struggle. I have a very supporting husband, that I constantly and unfortunately fight with almost on a daily basis, due to my problems. Part of my problems is also trust issues. I bring things up, you could almost set you clock to it, regularly. All i want is for somethings to forget and move on, but like many things all I need is one little noise or word and all those unwanted memories and emotions come flooding back. Therefore Hubby and I fight because of it. I have hurt him so much with my behavior and spiteful words that all I want to do is leave so I don't hurt him anymore. I have always had trust issues with most people due to me letting people walk all over me, I have always trusted my Husband until September last year when I found purely by accident, some flirty text messages and then the worse thing possible, picture. Since then I haven't trusted him completely. I still have a problem with it even though we have talked about on many occasions, he has assured me on many occasions that he hasn't talked to her since and i started believing him until last month she rang out of the blue and now has knocked down that belief. My biggest problem with it all has been that he hasn't actually told her to stop ringing or texting. Maybe out of respect she hasn't done either, and knows that what they have done is wrong, I'm constantly on guard in case when the phone ring that she is ringing and that is my biggest fear. This is the only time this has happened. I want to trust him again like a used to, but an Invisible brick wall keeps me from doing it. What I would like is for anybody that reads this to please give me some advise on how to get over THAT wall, so both of us can heal and move on. CherryBlossom

Hexseeker Emotional pain from Mum
  • replies: 5

Hi, Never done this before so hope this is ok. Over the weekend had a fight with Mum. I left so I wouldn't say things I later regretted. She followed after a bit and said some stuff. One thing that I just can't get pass now was "I keep waiting for yo... View more

Hi, Never done this before so hope this is ok. Over the weekend had a fight with Mum. I left so I wouldn't say things I later regretted. She followed after a bit and said some stuff. One thing that I just can't get pass now was "I keep waiting for you to change". I know I'm not perfect and could be a better person but I'm finding it very hard to get my head around that someone who is supposed to love you unconditionally doesn't just think you need to change but tells it to your face. We haven't spoken since. I'm 28, have a good job, pay rent, help out plenty at home but I don't know what to do now.

interstater10 Trouble moving on
  • replies: 2

I have been separated from my wife for two years, she was having an affair and refused to repair the marriage, she is still seeing the other man, not living with him, she refuses to let me see my son, and involves the other man in his live, this crea... View more

I have been separated from my wife for two years, she was having an affair and refused to repair the marriage, she is still seeing the other man, not living with him, she refuses to let me see my son, and involves the other man in his live, this creates great anger for me, I believe I still have feeling for her, and she at times users this against me, at times she will flirt with me via text, messanger, sending me naughty pics etc, then bang I find out she's still seeing him or worst she at his house while doing it. at times I really want to hurt this bloke, to make him pay for destroying my family, in the back of my head I'm hanging on to hope, despite the damage she has done to the Marriage.

CtrlAltDelete I feel like friends are always abandoning me
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I've been felling pretty low about this for quite a awhile now and need to get this off my chest as it's just driving me crazy. I started a new job in November and I shared an office with a girl fairly close to my age. We hit it off pretty we... View more

Hi all, I've been felling pretty low about this for quite a awhile now and need to get this off my chest as it's just driving me crazy. I started a new job in November and I shared an office with a girl fairly close to my age. We hit it off pretty well as we had a lot in common and basically we became 'best friends'. She told me that she didn't have many friends she could relate to and felt she could relate to me and even said she felt I was her best friend. A few months ago she moved on to a new job, but said that we will still hang out as much as possible. Since then I haven't seen her at all and when I try to make plans to catch up, she's constantly making excuses as to why she can't see me. It's really upset me because I know she has made friends in her new job and she hangs out with them quite a bit. I just don't understand why I'm not good enough????? It's always me that makes the first contact as well. She'll never text me unless I text her first. This is not the first time this has happened either. Going way back to Primary school I had a best friend and we spent pretty much all our spare time together. We had the same classes up until we were about 10 years old and she was put in a different class. After that it was like I never existed!! She moved onto the "cool" crowd and I was left with no-one. After that came a girl that moved in next door to me. We hung out all the time with small group of friends. All of a sudden Poof! She was friends with someone else and didn't want to hang out with me anymore. I'm now 30 and I have no real friendships with anyone. I struggle to trust people and worry that if I get close to anyone they will just do the same as these girls did. I feel like a "gap friend", just someone that's there to fill the void until they find the next best thing. I feel like I do have good qualities for friendship though. I listen and try to give advice if I feel like I could help and I am very generous with money or anything else anyone needs, and I like to have a good joke too!! I don't want or need 50 friends or anything. I just want one or two good friends. Is that too much to ask?