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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Jane17031703 Have me or my husband got depression or some mental disorder?
  • replies: 2

Ive always been a fairly happy girl, but with a few insecurities &low self esteem. Until I met my hubby I hardly ever cried. Now I never know if he'll wake up nice &loving , or indifferent&cold towards me. I have wondered about mental issues. If I br... View more

Ive always been a fairly happy girl, but with a few insecurities &low self esteem. Until I met my hubby I hardly ever cried. Now I never know if he'll wake up nice &loving , or indifferent&cold towards me. I have wondered about mental issues. If I bring up issues he will either give silent treatment &withhold love from me or lose temper, yell, &swear. Always turns blame on me(gas lighter) This sends me in to this meltdown thing. I don't know what it is, I just lose all sense of reasoning, crying, beg him to hug&love me. I feel lowest pits of low sad All I feel when I am low is that I so much want love. I say just hug me &say nice words. Every now and then he sighs a real reluctant I love u, ur a good wife. But usually he refuses &says when u stop crying I will hug u. He withholds love from me when I'm sad. I beg for love, he just refuses. Anyway, last night I tried to discuss something with him, he literally just screamed, called me dumb and swore at me. I got sad &started crying &asked him to stop swearing at me and calling me names. He yelled it's ur fault for being dumb, then I wouldn't need to call you dumb. I kept begging he kept yelling. I got lower and lower, it felt as though he was baiting me to go lower still. I kept on saying please just hug me &show me affection, I need u. He refused &said I was having a mental attack of some kind. By this time I wonder if I was, I felt so low, all I wanted was for him to hug me &be emotionally supportive. I was crying &yelling please love me, I need you, please. I don't think I had reasoning. He said I was having a mental attack of some kind. (He always tells me that I'm sad and it's my fault, he has never said sorry in his life or cared about anything that worries me in his life, he brings the blame onto me every time) My question is am I having a mental attack, if I am what can I do? Is this all my fault? Am I not seeing things clearly? Or is he trying to control my thoughts to switch the blame onto me and tell me there's something wrong with me? I'm just so confused and have started questioning if all this time I thought he had some mental issue, maybe it was me all along & I do need help. Do I need help or does he need help or both? He refuses counseling. I cant break up with him, Im a Christian &don't believe in divorce. & I have a kid with him, I'd never be able to be away from my kid for half custody, my child needs me with him. He hates being away from me. Thanks so much

jmn251 Sudden separation, isolation from daughters, how to deal with it
  • replies: 3

Hi, I had to leave home, am living in share accommodation and only get to see my girls once a week. So much time all of a sudden. How do you deal with the sudden isolation. I gave up drinking to so I am doing it sober so it's very real. Any suggestio... View more

Hi, I had to leave home, am living in share accommodation and only get to see my girls once a week. So much time all of a sudden. How do you deal with the sudden isolation. I gave up drinking to so I am doing it sober so it's very real. Any suggestions appreciated.

Jayne18 Bipolar husband wants out of our marriage
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone I'm new on here. My husband is bi polar and recently been diagnosed. He refuses to take meds until he has sorted out his legal problems. He got into trouble with the law this was while he decided he wanted to move into his workshop. he is... View more

Hi everyone I'm new on here. My husband is bi polar and recently been diagnosed. He refuses to take meds until he has sorted out his legal problems. He got into trouble with the law this was while he decided he wanted to move into his workshop. he is now on bail living in a caravan in our backyard. He now wants space from us (me and 10yr old son) he recently meet a girl on Facebook who he has become involved in with this was after I got angry and told him to sort other living arrangements a angry moment I regret. He now says I've pushed him away. And he wants space I'm at my wits end. Thanks for listening

Warhorse Split family over two continents, feeling guilt and sadness...
  • replies: 7

Hello, I am new to this forum but unfortunately not new to depression and anxiety. I have written and rewritten this post several times. I am finding it hard to put into words what I am feeling and what I need to find out from the other forum members... View more

Hello, I am new to this forum but unfortunately not new to depression and anxiety. I have written and rewritten this post several times. I am finding it hard to put into words what I am feeling and what I need to find out from the other forum members. My situation - I grew up in Australia, moved to UK in 2001 to escape an abusive relationship. Met my now husband in 2003 (married in 2007). Lived in UK up until Feb 2014 when we moved to Australia. Currently 5 months pregnant with my first child Husband away in UK until September trying to set up a new business importing Australian products to UK, he has already been away for a month. Step-son (18) who did live with us has moved back to UK due to a relentless guilt campaign by his mother which devastated husband and still hurts us both. Step-son actually started saying that we had 'forced' him to come to Australia with us and that we were 'manipulative' and 'only trying to hurt[his] mother'. In actual fact we moved to Australia 2 years ago only after asking stepson (he was 16 at the time) how he felt, he actually wrote a letter to his mother asking her to give him permission to come with us...we did not ask him to write the letter. He came over on a return ticket so he could go back at any time, however he developed a fear of flying and so did not want to get on a plane. Since being in the Uk with his mother for just over a year he is now saying he wants to come back and that his relationship with his mother has deteriorated. So...what have I done. It seems I have met a man and his then 4 year old son, ingratiated myself upon their lives, manipulated them to move to Australia after being 13 years unhappy in UK. Finally I get pregnant after 6 years of trying, it seems I needed to come home to Australia for my body to be happy enough to get pregnant. Husband returns to UK. Husband is not happy in Australia, he misses his mates, the pubs and his family. Work was supposed to be easier here in Australia for qualified trades, however it has not been easy at all. We have put all our savings and a small loan into trying to make a go of a new venture in the UK. I have wanted a child of my own and to live in Australia for so long...I feel guilty for wanting to stay here and not go back to UK...I feel alone...I feel sad for husband...I don't really know what answers or responses I want to see for this post...this is the tenth try at putting it into words...

Kaynine_801 Moving On
  • replies: 10

Hi, this is my first post. I have recently broken up with my girlfriend of 6 years. I am 27 and she is 31. We started to have problems with my commitment and her desire to start a family. For the last 3 years of the relationship we just weren't worki... View more

Hi, this is my first post. I have recently broken up with my girlfriend of 6 years. I am 27 and she is 31. We started to have problems with my commitment and her desire to start a family. For the last 3 years of the relationship we just weren't working that well together. So we decided to split which was instigated by her. We have been apart for 8 weeks and we have been in some contact, but I recently found out that she is dating someone else already. I believe that she had set up this new relationship before we ended, as she had mentioned in a fight that there was someone else who was interested in her and I should watch out, and after running into them by accident she confessed that they have been dating for 3 weeks and that she had mentally prepared for our break up months ago. I feel betrayed and destroyed by everything that has happened since we broke up, that she could move on so fast where I am so lost, confused and hurt. Is this guy better than me? Did she ever really love me? I still feel in love with her and care about her so much which makes this even harder. I am coming to the realisation that I need to move on and stop playing with the fantasy of us getting back together but I'm not making any progress in moving on. Any help?

Macand Losing a new love of your life I thought was permanent after already losing my wife to disease.
  • replies: 5

My wife died several years ago and almost 2 years later I bonded with a beautiful lady who had recently lost her husband to similar circumstances. We both have kids. At first I helped her deal with grief and support. It was a beautiful friendship whi... View more

My wife died several years ago and almost 2 years later I bonded with a beautiful lady who had recently lost her husband to similar circumstances. We both have kids. At first I helped her deal with grief and support. It was a beautiful friendship which developed after a while to romance. I was gentle with her and was patient as I wanted her to be sure. It was beautiful for a few years and we have been very supportive to each other and had no problem talking about our partners we lost and could talk about dark days together. The problem is I fell deeply in love and she couldn't move through properly and share our love with her old and dear friends. I have been treating it as a beautiful relationship for several years which I wanted to be everlasting but it appears she has only treated it like an affair secretly behind her friends and family. She would still arrange social nights with old friends but couldn't include me which over time has hurt me deeply. I kept getting signs the relationship would blossom but yet again she couldn't include me publically. This finally came to ahead and she has felt to end it. I know she has probably delayed ending it because she didn't want to hurt me and I have probably hung on too long as I didn't want it to end and only really tortured myself by hanging on. I have been distraught as I still love her but she wants to move on and wants to date again which tears me up. Does anyone have the same or worked through this situation?

somebodyinneed she left me
  • replies: 3

Okay from the beginning, ​I went to work and there was a new intern/ work experience placement . When I met her I didmt know what to say but over the day we began flirting and so on, I asked her out to dinner, she sai no, but continued to flirt with ... View more

Okay from the beginning, ​I went to work and there was a new intern/ work experience placement . When I met her I didmt know what to say but over the day we began flirting and so on, I asked her out to dinner, she sai no, but continued to flirt with me, whem the day ended I said goodbye and she kissed me, gave me her number and went home. She texted me later on apologizing to me saying that she was in a log distance relationship with someone in the us that shes dating a guy in the us who she never met in person. After talking it out over the weekend she said she wanted to be with me. Over th next 2 months we were doin this same loop where she got sad cox she betrayed this other guy amd then I cheered her up amd she was happy, we went on dates spet tie together I fell in love quickly because she is perfect. Sh told me the same. We were happy for a few months then one morming aftr a date the previous day she texts me sayng she doemst love me and tells me she is goimg to gi back ti beijg with thisnother guy. I objected obviously and by the time I even got to text back a wait lets talk about thi for a second she had blocked me, I have been trying for the past month to contact her and all she said to me was to forget about her. I need help because every night for te past month, I have cried myself to sleep thinkig about her, missin her and I have found my self thinking about things ive never thought of before. What do I do? I love this person very dearly despite the complications, I believe that at she did in fact live me too, I miss her every day I am constantly reminded of her and it really hurts nt being able to talk to her. I just cant give up on the feelings I felt when we were together, I was happier than ive ever been in my life, she makes me feel whole and complete, she filleda huge void in my life, but now that she is gome there is an even larger one left where she was, I just miss her so much. thank you for any help that is suggested ​

Chrisk Just need to talk
  • replies: 16

Been very lost. Lost my focus and my self esteem. Gf left me couple months ago and I'm not dealing with it very well. Feel like I lost my best friend. I've been drinking very heavily and just self destructing. I'm usually strong and very stable but I... View more

Been very lost. Lost my focus and my self esteem. Gf left me couple months ago and I'm not dealing with it very well. Feel like I lost my best friend. I've been drinking very heavily and just self destructing. I'm usually strong and very stable but I invested so much heart and soul into this relationship that it's left me a mess. Since the break up there's only been messages. No calls nothing. I just want to talk but she won't. One of her reasons was she suspected I was keeping in touch with an old gf. I wasn't. Nothing of the sort. I've been tried and convicted on pure supposition! It sux

DIDOmummy DIDO/FIFO stressing
  • replies: 7

My husband works away in the mines and though i appreciate him and everything he doses for our family I'm starting to crack a little. We have a 2 year old son and the obligatory family pets and i both work full time and study a full time course load ... View more

My husband works away in the mines and though i appreciate him and everything he doses for our family I'm starting to crack a little. We have a 2 year old son and the obligatory family pets and i both work full time and study a full time course load at university (distance). To top it off we have recently begun the whirlwind process of buying a home so lots of signing things and waiting to hear back from finance people. Work, though it is an industry i am passionate about, has been difficult as two of the people i work with seem to be doing everything in their power to get under my skin due to personality clashes and trying to just smile and wave at it is exhausting. I'm just feeling like i'm failing all the time. I'm stressing about work, panicking that we wont get the loan that I've pretty much put together on my own due to the other half being at work (though even our broker says that its pretty much a done deal) trying to figure out how to fit uni into everything else and sometime i just loose my cool and yell at my son to go away because all i want is a moment where i'm not being climbed on or hung off (which in turn makes me instantly feel like I'm failing at motherhood). I've even started having dizzy spells and have developed a twitch in my right eye which i seriously contribute to stressing way too much. Just wondering how other people in similar situations handle their plates without dropping it all.

Gippy Separation and loneliness
  • replies: 3

Hi, I'm married and have 2 girls 7 and 9. My wife last week said she wanted to separate. I could see in the last 2 months that it might lead to this as she wasn't happy and this caused enormous constant anxiety for me due to uncertainties and worry w... View more

Hi, I'm married and have 2 girls 7 and 9. My wife last week said she wanted to separate. I could see in the last 2 months that it might lead to this as she wasn't happy and this caused enormous constant anxiety for me due to uncertainties and worry which lead to depression. I was prescribed medication for my anxiety in the final days leading to the breakup as I couldn't function but after she told me I didnt seem to need the tablets anymore. She also developed depression as well in the last few months. When she told me she wanted to separate it still hit me very hard, especially since I still love her deeply. At the moment we have decided to at least keep living in the same house (rented) until after Christmas but after that we're not sure when to move out. I currently dont have any close friends and my family are in a different state. We only moved here about 7 years ago so she could be near friends and family. Im now worried about how to manage our kids/work etc (we both agree on a shared plan with the kids). The rejection, isolation and loneliness is worrying me deeply and getting me down. Anyone have any ideas how to deal with this situation? Thanks

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