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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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SheWillBeLoved When will I be okay
  • replies: 1

What do you do when the past two and half years have been spent loving someone, seeing them everyday, planning a future and endless amounts of happiness... What do you do when it's suddenly ripped from beneath you and your left standing there without... View more

What do you do when the past two and half years have been spent loving someone, seeing them everyday, planning a future and endless amounts of happiness... What do you do when it's suddenly ripped from beneath you and your left standing there without hope and with a heavy heart... It's been almost two months since since we broke up but everyday I wake up I hurt just as much if not more than the day it happened. Everything I hoped for is gone. I became so reliant on this person that not I have no idea how to be happy or to live for me. I'm terrified and so very lost. I don't know who to talk to or what I can do to feel better. I wish there was an of switch for loving someone. I wish I could jusy switch off all together and not feel it anymore. I want to run away from it all but I know running away won't fix anything. I want to be me again but I don't know how.

Suhail Cheated betrayed and broken by someone I made my life for 7yrs is there a way out of this pain
  • replies: 2

Hi I am just here to know that what I can do to stop this hurt n pain . I was with my partner for 7 yrs we have a daughter together and we were so happy . But she started cheating on me with someone at work we went thru a hard breakup in 2013 and I k... View more

Hi I am just here to know that what I can do to stop this hurt n pain . I was with my partner for 7 yrs we have a daughter together and we were so happy . But she started cheating on me with someone at work we went thru a hard breakup in 2013 and I kept coming to know that she has been staying at hotels with this other guy spending all her free time on him so I decided to move on n it was hard but I did overcome a lot of pain . But suddenly she came back crying after a year of being with guy that she is very hurt by what happened n that other guy is not worth it and that she made a big mistake . So I supported her again made her overcome her pain n took her back we were back again working on it n she spent all time with me at mine for last 6 months finally I trusted her again n started loving her again but she just left for that guy again and not even saying anything I had to find out on my her mobile she left that she is chatting with other dude and can't wait to see him at a hotel I broke apart again n this time I'm blaming myself so much cause I have her a second chance I lifted her from the bottom where she was left by the other guy and she jus so cold heartedly left me alone without even decency for an explanation . It sucks cause I gave her a second chance I trusted her again blindly .. I love my daughter n I hate to see her face a separation of her parents again for this another guy .. How do I deal with this pain now it just feels it's easier to give up why did I make her my priority again I have so many questions that my brain doesn't stop thinking n my heart sinks a little everytime .. I feel worthless I'm not wanted and how long can I walk out of this house n put a fake smile when I'm dying inside bit by bit everyday I love my daughter she does give me strength to fight but i can't keep fighting anymore I'm not a bad person I didn't do wrong by her I wasn't perfect but I was honest always is there someone who can talk to me or let me know what I can do to feel better .. Is there a way out .. I want to live again and this is not living I feel trapped

dreemer heartbroken 💔
  • replies: 1

So..im new to the forum..and this is my first step at reaching out..i feel a little silly and as if the way ive been feeling is not justified..a bit of background on my story..at the end of 2013 i ended my 12yr partnership which was an extremely diff... View more

So..im new to the forum..and this is my first step at reaching out..i feel a little silly and as if the way ive been feeling is not justified..a bit of background on my story..at the end of 2013 i ended my 12yr partnership which was an extremely difficult decision to make..i needed to do it to be happy in myself...and i was..i met someone new who i fell hard for..we were so in love...but..its come undone for a number of reasons..ive got kids from my previous relationship..he was a bit younger than me and a little immature..but him breaking up with me and telling me he still loves me and one day we might be together..hes confused..its just as hard for him...i dont think he understands at all...i am drowning in my own head..ive tried all the normal heartbreak remedies..excercise..leaning on friends..doing new things..keeping busy etc..but i am not coping..im so sad most of the time..its a real effort to even look after my kids..or get out of bed..i cant enjoy life at all..im trying for my kids but i feel like im drowning in my head...ive made an appointment with my gp but im nervous about it..im nervous about opening up..or if i might need medication..that scares me...im feeling so lost right now

Mavster I think my boyfriend "fell out of love with me" because of depression.
  • replies: 2

Hi, I want to know if anyone has experienced my story and can give me advice. My boyfriend and i were together for around 8 months....madly in love and very close. However, about a month ago, he started becoming moody and withdrawn. This coincided wi... View more

Hi, I want to know if anyone has experienced my story and can give me advice. My boyfriend and i were together for around 8 months....madly in love and very close. However, about a month ago, he started becoming moody and withdrawn. This coincided with expensive root canal, a back injury, not getting enough cash flow and increased stress at work. He also lost interest in sex and was moody that his antibiotics forbade him from drinking. He became snappy and described it as not "feeling like himself" as well a saying he was irritable an didnt want to b around people. I was worried, as this seemed like depression. But i was concerned maybe something was wrong between us to. So i just gave him time and was supportive. After big fight, he assured me i was the best thing in his life, his best friend, and he would be "back to normal soon." Within week, i was dumped via tezt. The only explanation he came up with was that he no longer loves me. I struggled to understand and am still deeply confused and hurt. He says his "feelings just changed". He now says all these things he was doing, the moodiness an withdrawal was because he was unsure of his feelings for me. I struggle to believe this and think maybe he is feeling this way because he is depressed. I still love him so much and am hurt and angry an confused. Can anyone help?

Minty Why Cant I Cope?
  • replies: 2

My daughter is 22 and her son (my Grandson) is 3. They have lived with me all their lives. She is moving to the city in two weeks (4 hours away from where I live) and for some reason I am falling apart. I can tell myself that it is normal for kids to... View more

My daughter is 22 and her son (my Grandson) is 3. They have lived with me all their lives. She is moving to the city in two weeks (4 hours away from where I live) and for some reason I am falling apart. I can tell myself that it is normal for kids to grow up and move out and find their own lives...but what my head is saying and what my heart is feeling is something very different. I am falling to pieces. I just lie in my bed and cry and cry and cry. When I think of walking into this house in two weeks and all their stuff will be gone and they will not be here I cannot handle it.I can't function. Can't eat, can't sleep. I dont want to make my daughter feel guilty for deciding to move but I am no longer in control of myself and I don't know how to stop these feelings. I know it is hurting, upsetting and yes probably annoying her that I am behaving this way but I seem to have lost the ability to hold it together. I am a wreck. I miss her and my grandson soooo much and they haven't even left yet. Why can't I cope with this?

Noa Grieving my former self and everything I've lost
  • replies: 3

Hi, I am in a pretty dark place right now and feel like I have no idea how to get myself out of it. I used to be a bright and bubbly person who was always surrounded by close friends and loved being social. All of this changed after the birth of my s... View more

Hi, I am in a pretty dark place right now and feel like I have no idea how to get myself out of it. I used to be a bright and bubbly person who was always surrounded by close friends and loved being social. All of this changed after the birth of my son who has a severe disability. His father left and whilst he pays child support, he does nothing else to help. He argues that he never wanted the pregnancy in the first place and wanted me to abort as he wasn't ready for a child but I couldn't do it. I am now in a position where I have given up my career, my dreams. I am alone with a child who needs round the clock care and have been alone now for 6 years. I feel hopeless in my current situation. I love my son but I am so consumed by anger and resentment and grief. My life has had to completely change since my son arrived. I have lost the closeness of friendships and the dynamics have changed as I don't have a lot in common with people with typical kids- my son is so different. I just don't know how to dig myself out of this hole as I am completely exhausted. Thanks for letting me share and vent!

Jeffhendrix Relationship breakup.
  • replies: 2

Hey, my girlfriend of four years recently left me about 5 or 6 weeks ago, I'm really struggling as she wants to have no contact. She says it will make it easier for both of us but the feeling of someone you love and was a best friend to just cut you ... View more

Hey, my girlfriend of four years recently left me about 5 or 6 weeks ago, I'm really struggling as she wants to have no contact. She says it will make it easier for both of us but the feeling of someone you love and was a best friend to just cut you out and block your number is killing me. I'm sure it's easier for her with no contact but it's tearing me apart, you feel like your worthless to them and you meant nothing. I can't stop thinking about her and the relationship basically what could I have done better and the mistakes I made. The more I try and pull myself together the more it all falls apart. I can see with the prespetive now that maybe it's for the best and it was inevitable but that doesn't stop her consuming my thoughts and loving her with all my heart. I'm trying to think of her negatively because maybe it will be easier if I hate her as opposed to loving her but i wang to keep things civil and friendly, I'm also slightly concerned she may try and get half of my unit etc....even though it's mine. We lived together for two years so I just hope she has the respect to not do that to me. She knows the whole deposit etc was all mine so I'm hoping she will not do that to me, she is a nice person so I would be surprised if she did but it's always in the back of my mind. My understanding is there's only a one year window to try and make that claim and since she moved out sept last year I suppose sept this year is the cut off. She always said we were going to get married and have kids right up until we broke up actually, I can't see how she could change her mind so quickly. I was doing fly in fly out work so that put a huge strain on us obviously. I would have done anything for her, she wasn't willing to make the sacrifices I would have for her....so it's for the best. I should be with someone who will care enough to make sacrifices. Maybe any advice might help? Thanks for your time.

will_never_love_again advise on dealing with nassasism
  • replies: 5

I have made so many attempts to write my story which is so overwhelming.asking for help on how to deal with breaking up with a nassasistic ex i dont know what to say or how to tell my story. basically he would try to win me back, sweet talk me, make ... View more

I have made so many attempts to write my story which is so overwhelming.asking for help on how to deal with breaking up with a nassasistic ex i dont know what to say or how to tell my story. basically he would try to win me back, sweet talk me, make me beleive he saw the error of his ways only to either create an arguement, be in a bad mood and snap and leave for up to a week or 2 at a time. ignore my messages, even though I should have got apologies i was saying sorry. I knew it was wrong byt my esteem has been shattered. just in past 2 weeks I stopped messaging for 4 days after messaging at least 4 times a day. as soon as i did he then text to say come for coffee, and to come get our sons pram he took back. I refused he offered to take the alarm out of my rental I'm moving out of a after I had text to ask him for 2 weeks to not reply. I say no, he won't take that for answer. so I agree. I feel like he only did these things to still keep the control. he said 4-6 for alarm he rocks uo at after 8 pm i try stay out of his way and he wants to feel sorry for me and hug me I think it's only to make himself feel better. the following day bc I again dont cope text him. he ignores it all, then knew I had got outfits previously for a function and when I had mentioned in a text I'd wear one he commented that he would be happy to give his opinion. that's when I realised he had no interest to reply to anything else but that? so I said no. basically that he couldn't care less and it's apparent he has found someone else so wouldnt care less if i moved on woth someone let alone see me in a dress. I stated I had been a complete foolhe didn't reply. following morning I got a text just so you know I am not seeing anyone and I'm getting annoyed you keep saying I am. I ignored it then later that night ask how our son is and if he sleeping I didnt want to reply bc he says that when he knows I think I have to reply. eventually I wrote he's good.he wrote straight back did he have any probs going to sleep ? I know as soon as he knows I reply he then ignores everything again so I ignored ithaven't heard from him sincehe has really messaged me up (cheated on me overseas when I was pregnant, lied, put me down, blamed me for all aspects about me tht ruined us when it was himhelp

MotherDuck its a daily struggle
  • replies: 2

My partner and I separated while I was pregnant with our youngest (now 8 months old) he came back, left again twice and then 2 weeks before Xmas moved out again. I was behind in rent, had disconnection notices and had Xmas laybys to finalise for 5 ki... View more

My partner and I separated while I was pregnant with our youngest (now 8 months old) he came back, left again twice and then 2 weeks before Xmas moved out again. I was behind in rent, had disconnection notices and had Xmas laybys to finalise for 5 kids. He also took the 7 seater car he bought the day after our youngest was born (even though he has a car with all costs covered provided by his work) he's only recently started paying minimal child support. I have no family close by for support and lately, everything feels like such a struggle. My 2 year old does what 2 year olds do best - tests the boundaries several times a day, my 8 month old will go to other people but if I try to leave the room (or he can't see me) he screams blue murder. I was once a very fit and active person (daily workouts at the gym) this has come to an abrupt stop since the youngest was born. I've tried leaving him at the gym creche but he won't have it! I feel so much anger toward my ex. He still plays sport and does as he pleases.... I have said to him a few times "I don't get time to myself, i have these kids with me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with no support from anyone" his response was "you do get time to yourself, when they go to bed at night" so my time to myself consists of washing baby bottles, cleaning up after dinner and then going to bed - hoping the younger ones both sleep, rather then waking up several times. I sometimes feel like a caged lion, trapped, restless and so frustrated. I used to be such a happy, energetic and upbeat person...I look at myself now and often ask myself "where did that person go?" If you got this far - thanks for taking the time to read this.

Poohy Feeling helpless, upset, depressed
  • replies: 1

I have been with my bf for 5 yrs. he is an amazing person. Funny, loving & caring. But he is a recovering alcoholic and has depression and as a result he lapses. He is on anti depressants and goes to counselling etc. but this doesn't seem to be helpi... View more

I have been with my bf for 5 yrs. he is an amazing person. Funny, loving & caring. But he is a recovering alcoholic and has depression and as a result he lapses. He is on anti depressants and goes to counselling etc. but this doesn't seem to be helping. Things will be going great for a few weeks and I think, finally we are getting somewhere. But then out of the blue for no reason at all something will set him off. The problem is he gets verbally nasty and he just takes off and disappears. He will go missing for days on end with no contact. I never know if he is ok. I don't know how much more I can take. I want to be there for him and keep supporting him, I love him to death but in 5 years our relationship has gone nowhere. I'm not getting any younger and want to have a happy marriage and have kids. Is he ever going to change??? What do I do?