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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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RitaLee Cannot see any future
  • replies: 1

Hi, I am a 42 yrs old female mum of a wonderful 4 months old little boy. I have been married for a very long time and almost given up on being a mum but then my little miracle happened. I don't think I have ever felt better than when I was pregnant. ... View more

Hi, I am a 42 yrs old female mum of a wonderful 4 months old little boy. I have been married for a very long time and almost given up on being a mum but then my little miracle happened. I don't think I have ever felt better than when I was pregnant. I thought my husband and I could not be happier. I thought that we were going to make Australia our home now. I love Australia. I thought I was the luckiest person in the universe. We often joked on how we would be getting old and grumpy together and how our son would need to be patient. But my husband was increasingly moody and irritable. I felt like he didn't want me around. He stopped holding my hands, hugging me at night, kissing me goodbye ... He stopped loving me. Just like that, he is not in love with me anymore. I feel so much anger. I cry. I cannot see my future. My little boy brings me joy, his smile fills my heart and I just love being a mum. But I just don't know what to do next. I feel lonely and lost and no one I can talk to. I want the best possible life for my little boy but how can I stay strong if I don't even know where I am going to live in the next few months???? I feel I have no choices anymore and no means to make new choices.

pollypossum Depression the 3rd person in our marriage - now he's left
  • replies: 1

My husband left myself and our 3 kiddies several weeks back 7 to be exact - i understand that one of the primary reasons or contributing factors as to why he's left is that he is suffering heavily with Anxiety and Depression. I do not think he is awa... View more

My husband left myself and our 3 kiddies several weeks back 7 to be exact - i understand that one of the primary reasons or contributing factors as to why he's left is that he is suffering heavily with Anxiety and Depression. I do not think he is aware or understands exactly how much it has taken him over, he sees no possibility no wants to try and give our relationship a try. So i have asked that he move out officially so as not to drag it on for the children. 1. do i tell him i believe Depression is a factor ? 2. How can i help him ? 3. Are there any cases where the man, husband - father ever comes back ? Thanks

LostIndependent3 My Boyfriend Ignores me, has depression, it's killing me too it seems, help me!
  • replies: 3

Hello, 3 months ago I met my first boyfriend, we are in a LDR for the time being, we are both guys, we share many common insecurities and mental health problems that we both use to find comfort in confiding in each other for, we have been very much i... View more

Hello, 3 months ago I met my first boyfriend, we are in a LDR for the time being, we are both guys, we share many common insecurities and mental health problems that we both use to find comfort in confiding in each other for, we have been very much in love. I have been very miserable. I couldn't even do my routine this week, I just sit in my room all day, feeling angry, confused, sad, depressed. For the both of us this is our very first relationship (we are 18), I live in Australia, he lives in the USA. However we use to talk about plans of moving to Europe together next year. His parents have picked up on how bad his situation is and are admitting him into an intensive depression rehabilitation facility. This is a 3-6 month 24/7 therapy which I am hoping will bring him back to his real self. It has been only just a mere several weeks and it feels like years that i have lost him for. This could be a hell of a painful 3-6 months, I just don't know how I can get through it? Yesterday I asked him to message me this morning, he didn't even do that. Apart of me tells me to just suck it up, and wait it out for him to get the intensive rehab he needs. The other part of me is saying to just let him go for my own health. But for the majority of it, something is telling me that I need to give him the space he needs, and let him come to me in however many months it takes for him to recover. But I am scared of how I can handle waiting months for something that might not come of it?I managed to get him to talk to me for a mere 30 minutes the other night, for the first time in weeks. When I asked him how he really feels about me, he said this: "I love you with all that I am. I'd die for you. I just want to kiss you and hug you and explore with you and make love with you and enjoy life with you and ultimately live with you." There is got to be a lot of times when I am talking to the depression, and times where he just opens himself enough to let his real self talk. I really am just trying to understand what to do. I love him so much and don't want to leave him. But for my own mental state, what is the best decision? I cant exactly tell him he needs to talk to me more, even though I'd kill for him to just communicate with me, because that wont change anything. I want nothing more then for him to recover, so I can buy us plane tickets to travel in another country alone together and live happily.

daisy-doo-little estranged mother with undiagnosed mental illness
  • replies: 3

My mother has not acknowledged my existence (or my brothers) since his first child was born. That was 12 years ago. During time her mother passed on and she told us there would be a large inheritance for us. At the time my husband was chronically ill... View more

My mother has not acknowledged my existence (or my brothers) since his first child was born. That was 12 years ago. During time her mother passed on and she told us there would be a large inheritance for us. At the time my husband was chronically ill and my bro was expecting his first child so we both could have used the money. Suddenly all communication with my mum about her mothers will dwindled. When we asked what was happening she sent my bro a letter from her lawyers demanding he payback a small loan with interest!! When asked to attend her first grandchild christening she begrudgingly came but avoided any gentle questions we had for her saying there was no money. All throughout my life she has been manipulative, judgemental, harsh, paranoid etc. She has sent back letters unopened that I have sent to her to try and figure out what is going on. Subsequently she has 2 other grandchildren of which 1 she doesnt know about. My mother is getting old and im wondering if I should get back in touch and try again or let bygones be bygone. I must admit that I have thrived since my mother cut herself out of my life through my own hardwork and determination.

Ayla I have a difficult life and would like some advice if possible
  • replies: 2

I'm having dramas with my partner. We recently got engaged after being together for a year. We've had many issues in this year, mostly to do with completely different parenting styles. He has 4 sons, teens to early 20's and I have one son second elde... View more

I'm having dramas with my partner. We recently got engaged after being together for a year. We've had many issues in this year, mostly to do with completely different parenting styles. He has 4 sons, teens to early 20's and I have one son second eldest in the mix. My son has ADHD, ASD and ODD and raising him was impossibly hard. Mentally it's been like living in a domestic violence situation but one I wasn't allowed to leave. I begged for help constantly and got nowhere. Our family from all sides left us. My own relationship with my own parents is non existent and it's far more healthy for me to not have them in my life. My relationship with my son is mostly a good one now that he's grown. He's a hard working, decent human being and I am incredibly proud of how far he's come, but the effects of raising him are long standing. I have PTSD, bad anxiety and right now feel dangerously on the path back to depression. My son hates people and doesn't understand my need to find love and be in a relationship, but he has never been disrespectful to my partner and they have a good relationship. My son really is the only friend I have apart from my partner. I've been isolated for so long now that I have no skills to make friends. I have people who love me, but I have no ability to socialise with them and tend to spend most of my days at home. Even before anxiety I was a homebody, but I have reached a point where I have a need for excitement, fun and passion in my life. I love my partner and I know he loves me, but we fight so much. We are on completely different wavelengths, and can NOT find a middle ground with our parenting. I have raised my son to be independent, respectful, hard working and responsible, despite the odds. He has raised his to be lazy and ungrateful, unhelpful, and seems to believe that it's his responsibility and job to provide for them all, even though his own financial situation is insanely bad and they are all working at least part time except for the youngest who is still in school. He still does absolutely everything for them. He feels he is making up for the lack of care by their mother who is still in their lives but rarely sees the older two. His parenting goes against everything I believe in and because we never agree on anything, we seem to be having the same 'discussion' repeatedly. I'm exhausted. I still have issues with my son and now all of this. I just want to be loved without the hurt and dramas and am completely lost.

kanga_brumby Scard for my daughter
  • replies: 8

The other day my daughter (16) was asking about people. Who either turn toward eating, or stop eating. When they are depressed. She explained she was sad because a friends dog had died some time back. She was missing the dog. Plus her mother died in ... View more

The other day my daughter (16) was asking about people. Who either turn toward eating, or stop eating. When they are depressed. She explained she was sad because a friends dog had died some time back. She was missing the dog. Plus her mother died in 2002. She naturally misses her. We do have a good relationship , we can talk on any thing. She even asks embarrassing questions for me to answer. I am left to answer yes plus I have to fill in the blanks about sex ed and woman's issues. A good around dad I hope i am.

Not_happy_with_me Not happy.
  • replies: 1

I have had many failed relationships over the years and made many bad decisions in them and out of them. I started to date and have sex to early in my life I fell in love

I have had many failed relationships over the years and made many bad decisions in them and out of them. I started to date and have sex to early in my life I fell in love

Icantthinkofausername I feel a bit silly.
  • replies: 1

I've had a bit of anxiety for a long time now however not enough to affect my day to day life and I would just forget about it m. Recently it's been getting harder and harder with panic attacks and chest pains. Today was the first day it affected me ... View more

I've had a bit of anxiety for a long time now however not enough to affect my day to day life and I would just forget about it m. Recently it's been getting harder and harder with panic attacks and chest pains. Today was the first day it affected me by staying home from uni. I love uni and I had an assessment too. in the last three weeks or so I've noticed I'm more down and have been crying on a daily basis. with issues being mainly my emotionally abusive husband, my weight and stressing out for my son. im 24 with a 2 year old, and he worries sick about me and in return I feel so guilty! Yesterday he saw me have a panic attack in the shower after a blow out with my husband and he hugged me so tight. my husband has been giving me grief, I love him so much and I don't want to leave because his a great father I just want him to be good to me. I don't want to leave because I know he loves me and it would break his heart. I don't want to leave because we have been seperate back in jan and it was an extremely painful experience. he puts me down and calls me names, tells me I'm stupid and I've got nothing under control. Yells at me for everything and just makes me so upset. I've been married for 4 years but I can't seem to leave. I don't want to be the reason. Although he says in the reason for his anger. i don't want to be like this im usually so happy I feel like I'm in a downwards spiral. also my weight affects me so much I weigh 65kgs which is a normal weight for me, but I want to loose that number off the scale and be skinny so maybe I will be happy with at least something in my life.

sarahanne11 I broke up with him, but it doesn't make it any easier
  • replies: 5

I just broke up with my partner of almost 4 years. Our relationship has been up and down since day one. I am the kind of person who puts a lot of effort and love into a relationship, and he was mostly closed off. He rarely said nice things to me, com... View more

I just broke up with my partner of almost 4 years. Our relationship has been up and down since day one. I am the kind of person who puts a lot of effort and love into a relationship, and he was mostly closed off. He rarely said nice things to me, complimented me (not just looks wise, on things like a promotion at work). He was unreliable and let me down a lot. He also engaged in emotional affairs with other people, and lied about a lot of things. He never wanted to be intimate. Yet every single time he broke up with me, a few days or weeks later he would beg for forgiveness. I struggled to understand why he did this, but after almost four years of this cycle I decided enough was enough. I felt worthless in the relationship, so I finally had the courage to end it. It has been so tough these first few days. I worry I won't find someone. I worry that I will always feel this way. I worry that it was my fault he treated me that way and there must be something wrong with me. I worry I am making a mistake. I guess I just want to know if it gets better. Is there ever a light at the end of the tunnel? Just because I found the courage to end the relationship, it doesn't make it hurt any less.

HelpBroken-hearted All control is lost.
  • replies: 2

My partner of 3.5 years has suffered for some time with depression but hadn't acted on it until 3 weeks ago. He made a move to a town far from home(Melb) & was struggling on his own. I made him go to a GP after suffering get another nervous break dow... View more

My partner of 3.5 years has suffered for some time with depression but hadn't acted on it until 3 weeks ago. He made a move to a town far from home(Melb) & was struggling on his own. I made him go to a GP after suffering get another nervous break down. he was put on antidepressants & was told to try his best at making his life happy with sport, friends, family ect. 2 days ago I came home to him with my brother & their friend having a nice time over a few drinks, I was cooking dinner & my partner suddlenly left the house & upon following him & asking what's wrong he told me he "can't do this anymore" & "can't be with me anymore", & before I could get a word in someone came to pick him up. this came as a HUGE shock to me, as I hadn't seen any changes in our relationship or the way he treated me, to the point he begged me to move down to his new home town(moved for work)straight after returning from our 6 week trip to the USA (which was 5 weeks ago.) (he has also now apparently left this job & is living in Melbourne again) i messaged him to ask if he was ok & to call & chat when he's ready. I received an immediate call back, & he confirmed he was breaking up with me for a number of reasons: He believes he needs to be with someone with more "structure & drive" than I have (I have always worked full time until being made redundant before our trip, and still not working as I moved to a small town with not many jobs) he can't be looking after me right now he needs to figure out who he is right now he believes we've been toxic for each other for some time now he then came over the next day &spoke more which ended with my crying on the stairs & him driving away. im devastated & so confused about what happened because I can't get answers & I can't get in contact with him; the person who told me only a week ago he wanted to marry me one day. as a desperate bid to understand what is happening I made the mistake of logging into his Facebook& saw he was searching for a number ex-flings prior to our relationship Friends & family of ours believe this isn't a permanent break up, he will come around, which I somewhat believed before seeing his Facebook, now I'm scared this is for good & it's not just the depression. i just don't know what to do from here, do I reach out to him to see how he is? Do I wait for him to contact me? I just need closure but I feel so helpless as he wouldn't give me a straight answer. please help me, I'm desperately seeking guidance